


Her Brooklyn Love

by CreationCityStreet



Series: Steve and Maddi's Love Story [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Tower, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Canon Compliant, Dr Rogers, F/M, I basically just made a soundtrack of her songs for Maddi's life, Immortality, Maddi Bennett, Maddi Rogers, Maddi is like a mother to Tony Stark, Madeline Bennett, Madeline Rogers - Freeform, Miss Americana, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, She basically helped raise him, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, sort of but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 105,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28545273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreationCityStreet/pseuds/CreationCityStreet
Summary: His Southern Belle Sequel! Spoilers for it ahead, I highly recommend reading part 1 first:Maddi had spent 66 years without Steve when he was found still alive in the ice. She hesitates to let him back into her heart, but Steve will not give up on the love of his life. While Maddi has finally made herself a life worth living again, she takes a chance of risking it for her old Brooklyn love. Steve Rogers x OC love story
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Original Female Character(s), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Original Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Tony Stark & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Steve and Maddi's Love Story [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091303
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here is part 2 to my Steve Rogers story, please do not read until you read part 1 His Southern Belle!**

[ **Part 1 link** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020403/chapters/45170833)

* * *

_And all I feel in my stomach, is butterflies_

_The beautiful kind, making up for lost time_

_Taking flight, making me feel like_

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_'Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name_

_And everything has changed_

-"Everything Has Changed" by Taylor Swift 

* * *

November 9, 2011 (STEVE’S POV)

I had gotten back to the apartment given to me by SHIELD after an early morning run. I quietly as I ate some breakfast when I heard a knock at the door. I was instantly confused because I hadn’t gotten any visitors since being placed in this apartment. I figured it was probably a SHIELD agent here to update me or give me something. I moved towards the door after placing my dishes in the sink. When I opened the door, I thought I was seeing things or maybe I was dreaming because the woman in front of me was without a doubt my wife, Madeline. She had straight hair instead of the many curls that I always saw her with, but it still held that beautiful red color. She also wore more modern clothing and makeup, but it was still, without a doubt, her. We stood there together frozen in place until she finally spoke simply saying “hi.” The moment I heard her voice, I just somehow knew that it had to be real. That was Maddi’s voice, even despite hearing it in every dream I had every night, I just knew that this one was actually her.

“Maddi?” I asked with so much hope. I didn’t even care it was possible, I just needed it to be her, I needed to have the person I loved most in my entire life to really be standing there in front of me. It would turn this entire crazy nightmare around if it were her. 

“Yeah,” she said barely above a whisper. “Yeah it’s me.”

I sighed and replied “but you died. Your file said 1958 you died. And how are you here, still looking like you did the last time I saw you?”

“Yeah,” she repeated and then took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s a lot, I know. Trust me, seeing you is just as shocking to me because I really didn’t believe you were alive until you opened that door. I still don’t know if this is real or not actually, but seeing you as freaked out as I feel makes me believe this is it. I did die, legally, in 1958, but I really just went into hiding because a couple years after you-” she cut herself off and paused for in thought. “also legally died, something went wrong as I was working in a lab and years after that I realized that among other things, I didn’t age. It’s all really weird and I can’t explain much about it because I don’t even know much about it myself. When I heard you were still alive, you were here after all these year, I almost didn’t come find you. But here I am.”

“Here you are,” I echoed her words.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? Just somewhere not here, somewhere outside because I’m honestly feeling a little suffocated right now.”

“Oh yeah. Yes!” I said quickly. “I mean, of course.” I fiddled with closing and locking my door and then I rushed to open the door to the stairs for her. She hesitated for a moment and then quietly thanked me as she walked past. We stayed silent until we got outside and to a park a couple blocks away. The entire time I was so close to her and all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms. I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea though because to her it hadn’t felt like less than a month since we last saw each other. To her it was decades, and the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable in any way. 

We sat down at a park bench and turned towards each other. “Okay, where to start?” she mumbled to herself but I replied anyway.

“From the beginning, please.”

She took a few deep breaths before starting. “After your plane went into the ocean, it was a few more months before the war was finished. I stayed in Europe during that time because it’s not like I had anything to go back to here. When we got back I stayed at our apartment until Howard let me stay with him. Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I can’t even explain to you the months, honestly years, of denial and anger and guilt. It’s what led me to try and research the serum Dr. Erskine developed and I did that on my own without telling anyone. I was being stupid and reckless, which is going to be a rather common trend in this entire story, and one day Howard found me in his lab passed out surrounded by fumes, injected with some of the substances I was working with. I was hospitalized and Howard and Peggy tried to figure out what had happened to me but I couldn’t remember anything and all my research was just missing. I don’t like to think about what might have happened during that time because really have no idea if someone or something else was in there with me or I did everything myself and somehow got rid of everything I documented from that day.” She was clearly distressed by the memory as she fiddled with her hands and her left leg shook a bit to calm her nerves. I wanted to do something, anything, to help but I didn’t know what would be an appropriate way to do that. “Well nothing was visibly wrong or different about me until a few years later when I cut my hand with a knife in the kitchen and it healed completely within less than a minute. Years after that it was clear that I also didn’t age. We faked my death with the laboratory explosion because I didn’t want to be constantly studied by other scientists, I didn’t want to be paraded around and used for my ability to heal so quickly. I saw it all with you, I didn’t want that.”

“I understand, I can just imagine now people calling you Miss America. You would have loved that” I joked and she actually smiled back. I silently counted that victory in my head as she continued her story.

“I lived in Tennessee by myself for about a decade. Only Howard and Peggy knew I was still alive, but I couldn’t have any contact with them in that time so that we wouldn’t risk my cover. Howard was trying to figure out how to start up my aging again, but it clearly never worked. After a while I just couldn’t stay there anymore, I went west on my own to California. I traveled around a lot during that time until I finally made my way back to New York and stayed with Howard for a long time after that.”

“Why did you leave Tennessee?” I asked curiously as I followed her story. 

She hesitated and then replied “Steve, I don’t think you really want to hear everything-”

I cut her off quickly, “no, no I do! I promise I want to hear it all.”

“You’re not going to like it, I don’t like it. I feel like it might be best to keep some things in the past.”

“Maddi, whatever happened throughout all those years, I would never judge you. I would never be angry or upset, it was your life and you were allowed to live it however you wanted. I just want to know about the person I care most about in the world.”

She gave me an even more pained expression and shook her head. “God, this is crazy! I never thought I would have to actually tell you any of this. Even when I was coming to see you, I don’t know why but I just imagine myself seeing you and then leaving because I really didn’t want to come in the first place. I mean I wanted to come but I really didn’t want to, and now I’m here telling you my life story and can’t stop feeling every single emotion all at once. You don’t understand how many times I dreamt that I could actually be here with you again.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” I said softly to try and calm her down. It was clear that she was getting more and more worked up with every word. “I know this is crazy. A few weeks of being here is not nearly enough time for me to figure out all of my emotions either. You don’t have to tell me everything right now if you don’t want to. I’m glad you didn’t leave right after you saw me either, so really anything you tell me is clearly more than I could have ever hoped for. When I found out you had died in your late thirties, I was devastated. The last thing I wanted for you after I was gone was for you to not get to live a full happy life. I tried to find anything I could about you so I could know more and hope that maybe you were happy at least those final years, but I could barely find anything about you at all. Seeing you here, seeing that you did live much longer than I could have imagined, it’s the greatest thing I could have hoped for at this point. I just want to know more about you right now, the good and the bad.”

“I am happy, right now,” she told me. “That’s kinda why I was scared to come see you. I’m really happy with my life right now, I haven’t been this happy in so long.”

I smiled at her and said “I’m really glad.” What I didn’t say was how much I wished that I could have been there to make her that happy. I wished that I wasn’t the cause of so much of her pain for those years after I crashed into the ice. I wished that I could go back in time and do it all over again, live a life with her like I promised her all those years ago. 

“Okay, before I tell you anything else I need you to know that I have never loved anyone like I loved you. I’m happy because in 1970 Howard and his wife had a son and named him Anthony, Tony. I helped raise him and I was his godmother growing up. There was about a decade after his parents died that I lived away from him, but I have been back in his life since 2003. A few years later we made a public announcement of my alias as his niece from his father’s side. A baby born in the 50s is supposed to be my mother and it has worked as a cover except Nick Fury figured it out. He was the one who told me you were alive.”

“Fury knew you were alive? He let me believe you died,” I said in frustration. All that time he knew and he didn’t tell me.

“Yeah I’ve noticed he holds lots of secrets. He told me he wanted me to decide how to handle it but it’s never too careful to assume he has ulterior motives.” She stopped and contemplated her next words before deciding to say them. “Tony is like a son to me. I’m the only family he really has left, and the people in his life have become important people in my life as well. Having him is the reason why I was able to be happy again after my time being alone in the late 1950s to 60s.”

“Mads, what happened then? You can tell me anything,” I took the risk of taking hold of her hand closest to me. It was the first time I have had any physical contact with her since 1945, and I’m sure it was clear in her mind as well. She didn’t let go; she just stared at our hands together and actually smiled.

“You know, I don’t think anyone has actually called me that since you last did.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, no! I didn’t realize I missed it.” She gave me another sad smile and then took a deep breath. “I keep avoiding the topic, but you’re right. I always was able to tell you anything and everything, I’ve really never felt like I could do that with anyone else to the extent I did with you. So here it goes, the full truth. I went on some dates in the 50s, most of them were awful. It was a lot of me bringing up my wonderful husband who died saving our country, which isn’t a very good conversation starter on a date. Well when I lived in Tennessee, I went by the name of Lucille Montgomery. I spent most of my time alone, I had enough money from being Madeline Rogers to sustain me in a small rural town. Years after being there, however, I think I just got really lonely and bored. I got a job as a waitress and I met someone named Jackson Greene. He was nice, and we got along. We spent a lot of time together and he was very charming and I felt comfortable with him. He was the first and really only man after you that I actually developed a real relationship with. Of course, I had to lie about pretty much everything about me. I tried to keep general things the same, he knew I was a widow but I told him that you died in Vietnam. Well anyway, one day I found an engagement ring and I knew he was planning to propose to me. I freaked out because he didn’t really know who I was and I couldn’t marry someone while i was still stuck in my twenties forever. I took my most important belongings I had with me and I just left. I never spoke to him again and after that I was just so miserable that I couldn’t actually be even somewhat happy with anyone ever again. I knew that I would never find someone I loved as much as I loved you, but it was nice to have something that made me feel like a human being.”

I sat there soaking it all in, not really sure how I felt about any of it. Of course it hurt to hear that my wife, the love of my life, had an intimate relationship with someone else. I also knew I had no right to be upset with her, I wasn’t upset with her at all actually. I wanted her to be happy, and if another man was able to make her happy while she thought I was dead, then I had to be okay with that. Seeing that the fact she couldn’t age brought her so many other forms of sadness and emptiness actually made me feel even more hurt. “I don’t blame you, everything you went through is more than anyone else has ever had to handle, and I know you’re so strong because you have come out the other side as still such an incredible person.”

“You still don’t know everything,” she whispered.

I squeezed her hand still in mine and replied “I’m still listening.”

“Howard and I were able to figure out a lot of ways my body was affected in addition to my aging. Like I said, I healed very quickly and we also found out I couldn’t get sick with anything, and I couldn’t ever get pregnant.” I looked at her shocked at the last part because children were always a dream of ours to have together, I guess it didn’t really matter anyway though because of our entire situation now. “There were more details that I didn’t find out about until experiencing them later. After leaving Tennessee, I just felt so empty inside that I wanted to fill that void with anything I could find.” She looked very upset by what she was trying to tell me and I wanted to reassure her but didn’t know how at that moment. She continued with her story. “I drank a lot of alcohol for the first time. Even after you died, I never touched the stuff because you know how I felt about it, but at this point in my life I just didn’t care about anything anymore. It didn’t matter though because it didn’t have any physical or psychological effects on me. The same thing happened when I started trying drugs: marijuana, cocaine, LSD, heroine, ecstasy. None of it actually worked, which I know now is a blessing because that was really stupid of me to try so many different dangerous drugs. Back then was the time of music, drugs and sex. I took part in it all, and while I couldn’t catch any diseases from the people I slept with, I thought I was filling a hole but really I was just digging a deeper one. It took me years to move past it all, and I still can’t help but hate myself for how I just threw myself away to drugs, alcohol and strangers. I spent a lot of time with people who didn’t care about me at all. One day I was with a group of people and some of them were trying to buy drugs in a particularly dangerous area of town and there was a gun that went off. I got shot in the shoulder and they all left me there. That’s when I found out that I don’t think really anything can kill me.” 

She was breathing a bit harder than before and I could tell that sharing all this information out loud with me was very hard for her. It was something that she locked away and tried not to think about because it all sounded very traumatic and painful. “Maddi, you shouldn’t hate yourself for doing any of those things. You were lost and alone and hurting, and any mistakes you make are just mistakes. You came out the other side stronger and you turned your life around. You could have spent forever like that, but you made the choice not to. I would never hate you for the things you’ve done either, I’ll always love you.”

Tears finally started falling from her eyes and she let go of my hand after I tried reassuring her. “You shouldn’t say things like that anymore, Steve.” She tried to wipe her tears away but they just kept coming. “I’m sorry but we’re not married anymore. ‘Until death do us part’, but we both legally died so our obligations are done.”

“It was never an obligation to me, I love you now like I loved you when we were married and before that too. I know that things are different now, but that will never change for me even if it has for you.” It hurt so much to realize that while we once held that equal amount of never ending love for each other, it wasn’t like that anymore. “Maddi, the fact that both you and I are both here living in 2011 as the same age we were in the 1940s has to mean something. That has to be some miracle or sign that we can’t ignore.”

She looked at me with exhaustion all over her face and shook her head. “Steve, it is not that simple. I need you to know that we can’t just start up like we were the last time we saw each other. I can’t just act like I haven’t lived the last 66 years of my life, so maybe I should just go because this-.”

“No Maddi,” I said quickly because I was terrified that she was deciding the best option was to part ways now. “I don’t expect you to be like it was the last time we saw each other.” I couldn’t just turn off those feelings, but I knew I needed to give her space if I ever thought that this would work out between us now. I thought carefully for the next few moments before continuing. “I know that I can’t compare to living decades without you, I can’t compare to the things you’ve had to go through, but I did have to go through the last couple of weeks believing that you had died. I thought you never got to live the life we wanted, the life I wanted for you. Maddi, I’ve mourned you every day since I found out and now I see that you’re alive. I know you have a whole new life now, and I’m so happy that you’re happy. I understand that we aren’t married anymore, but Maddi we’ve always been friends. Throughout our marriage, our relationship and before, you were always my best friend. Please don’t make me lose my friend in addition to my wife. I’ve just felt so lost and alone since waking up, I don’t know anyone or anything about this century. Now you show up and I can’t just let you walk away.”

“I lost my best friend when I lost my husband,” she said softly while looking at her hands while she fiddled with them again.

“I know, and I’m so sorry I did that to you. I’m so sorry I left you like that,” I hated that I did that to her. I knew that it was important to save all those lives but part of me then wanted to take it all back.  
  


“Don’t be,” she said quickly as her head shot up and she looked at me with a new determination in her eyes. “There was a time, in the midst of all the grieving, that I was really angry with you. I felt abandoned and a little unloved. I felt like you chose your country over me when you sacrificed yourself like that so suddenly.” I tried to hide how much pain I was feeling from her words but I knew that I wasn’t doing a very good job.. “But I know that’s not true. Even when I thought those things, I knew they weren’t true. I never truly blamed you, and I certainly don’t blame you now. So there isn’t anything to be sorry for. I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost everything, and that is the very last thing I want for you. I just don’t know how we can go on this way without one of us getting hurt.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


November 9, 2011 (Continuation at the same spot, just switched to Maddi’s POV)

We sat in silence after I spoke and I knew that he realized how complicated it all was. Being here with Steve was all kinds of overwhelming. I felt on edge but I also felt safe at the same time. I had told him things that I never told anyone else about my life, and as hard as it was, I knew it was the right thing for both of us. 

“Then let’s start over,” Steve said, and it pulled me out of my thoughts.

“What?” I looked at him confused. 

“From the beginning, like we just met. It’s like you said, you’re different now and I want to get to know who you are now. I’m different too, I’m not the same guy who crashed into the water over 65 years ago.”

“I’ve spent less than 2 hours with you and I can already say that’s not true,” I playfully rolled my eyes at him as I spoke.

“You don’t really know that,” he turned to face me more directly, and he had so much hope in his eyes. “Come on, let’s just try. We don’t have to acknowledge any of our time together before. We can spend time together and get to know each other, and that way we can maybe develop a real friendship again that isn’t based in the past but on who we are now.”

I gave him a skeptical glance as I thought over his proposal. He wanted us to ignore the fact that we were friends before, that we were together for years, married and almost had a child together so that we could comfortable get to know each other now. I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be as easy as he made it seem, but I knew I was willing to give it a try because he seemed as desperate as I knew I felt deep inside for this to work. “Okay, but you have to promise me that you won’t be upset if I don’t act like I used to, and you can’t talk to me like your wife anymore. We’re not married, we’re just getting to know each other to be friends.”

“I promise, trust me I really need a friend through all this.”

“Alright, then let’s start over.” I paused though because I wasn’t sure how to go about it, but Steve seemed to know exactly what to do as he cleared his throat and stood up. I stood up next to him and gave him a nervous smile.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Steven Rogers but you can call me Steve.” He held out his hand. 

I hesitated because of how ridiculous it felt. I knew that this might be good for wherever our relationship could go, but it just felt weird to act like a stranger to someone who used to hold the other half of my heart. “I’m Jennifer. Jennifer O’Neill.” I said taking his hand to shake. I saw his smile falter just slightly when he heard me use my fake name as an introduction. He hid it quickly however because he knew that if we were going to pretend we just met, then he was going to have to get acquainted with my fake persona. However, I did feel slightly bad at the thought of making him call me by a completely different name so I added “but my friends call me Maddi.” 

He smiled even wider “well Maddi, I hope I can live up to those friends.”

* * *

**A/N: I really hope you liked this one, it was so hard for me to figure out how to portray Maddi’s feelings in this chapter but I think I got it to a point that I really liked! The Taylor Swift song that I think matches perfectly with this part of their relationship is “Everything Has Changed” by her and Ed Sheeran. Thank you so much for all the follows, favorites, and reviews! Keep letting me know your thoughts, and check out the short video from the link in my bio if you haven’t yet!**


	2. Chapter 2

November 9, 2011 

“Hey I’ve been waiting for your call, how did it go?” I was on the phone with Tony while I sat in my hotel room after an exhausting day of seeing Steve for the first time in 66 years. 

“Um you know I don’t really know. Part of me thinks I might be going crazy and just imagined the entire thing.”

“You’re not running away together off into the sunset to live happily ever after?” he asked with a dramatic tone and I rolled my eyes.

“Tony seriously this has been a really long and confusing day, I don’t need you teasing me about it right now.”

“Alright, alright. Well tell me about today then.”

“We’re ‘starting over,’” I said and he paused for so long I thought our call cut off.

“What does that even mean, Maddi?”

“It means that I was about to fly straight back to California tonight because he was acting exactly like I feared. To him, it’s been less than a month since we last saw each other and were married and madly in love, but I can’t handle that right now. So we came up with a solution to just start over like that entire part of our lives never happened and we’re just going to be friends for now getting to know each other.” I could hear him sigh loudly on the other end. “What?!” I questioned his reaction in frustration. 

“See I told Pepper you would do something like this, she owes me five bucks.”

“What are you talking about?!”

“Look Raggedy Ann,” I rolled my eyes at one of his many nicknames. “You run. You run when things get hard, when you get scared. I don’t know if you’ve always done that, but you’ve been doing it for at least the last 50-55 years. You wanna know what I think, I think you should stop running. You’ve proved you can do it, you face the scary issue head on and you come out the other side stronger. I think you should do that here. None of this escaping crap, and that’s exactly what you two “starting over” basically is. It allows you to run away without physically running away.”

I scoffed as I responded “Tony you are not allowed to preach to me about stuff like this when it is your own signature move when you get scared.”

“That’s not the point right now. Listen, I don’t think you really want it like this, and I bet Steve doesn’t like the idea either.”

“It was his idea!”

“Maddi, if this guy is still anything like your stories, he would do absolutely anything to make you happy. Seriously, how do you really think this will work out? What the hell are you going to even talk about? Nobody in the world probably has a better case of shared experiences than the two of you, so why would you ignore that?”

“Are you kidding? My life experiences are completely different from his now.”

“Maddi please stop making excuses, you’re worse than I am. You told me with Pepper to get over my fears and ego and I think you should do the same now if you want to be happy.”

* * *

  
  
  


November 10, 2011

I stood outside the small coffee shop I had agreed to meet Steve the next day as I saw him walking towards me. My stomach tightened and when he saw me he smiled softly. “Hey there stranger,” I greeted him with a nervous laugh. 

“Hi Maddi,” his smile widened a little bit more. He went to grab the door and held it open for me. “After you,” he said and I nodded and thanked him. We sat down after ordering our coffee and remained silent for a few moments before he asked me how my stay in New York has been.

“It’s nice, I haven’t been in New York for a long time. California has been my home for years. It’s different, but still nice. I miss the snow,” I said with a small smile.

“Why do you live there?”

“Tony, Howard’s son, lives there. It’s where Stark Industry Headquarters is, that’s where I work. I currently manage the charity division of the company. It took me a while to find something I really liked doing there, my science background is a little outdated, so I dove into economics and I really enjoy helping people this way.”

“That’s great! I didn’t know Stark had a charity division. He doesn’t really seem the type.”

“Ah, so you’ve heard of Tony already?” I gave him a friendly smirk as I asked.

“Just a little of what SHIELD had given me. I’ve been trying the whole internet thing, but it’s been hard to figure it out completely. I have seen some interviews and clips of him and his apparently new hero persona.”

“Oh yes, I do seem to surround myself with superheroes. Tony is very difficult in the public eye, he has certainly made a lot of mistakes in his life and has a bit of an ego just like his father, but he has so many more good qualities. He’s so incredibly smart, and compassionate in a way that he doesn’t often show.”

“Well that’s good to know, I’ve taken a look at the Stark Tower being built here in Manhattan. It’s certainly...something,” he said with a tone I knew so well. He wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to offend me by his opinion of the building or the man behind it. I just chuckled because I knew that the kind of good that Tony was did not align perfectly with the kind of good that Steve knew so well.

“Yes, I agree putting your name on display that large on a building that tall does take a certain type of almost bragging personality. However, I think that building has a lot to brag about. I haven’t been a big part of the process, but I do know that the plan is for it to be powered 100% by clean energy. Tony’s been very on board with transitioning the company towards clean energy, which is saying something for such a large industry.”

“Clean energy, I’ve actually heard about that. The planet is dying. That’s what everyone says, right?”

I smiled a bit at his recognition, it was a reminder that there was a lot that I could not talk about while assuming he knew what I meant. “Yes, climate change has become a serious issue. I think it’s something worth looking into a bit more if you have the chance. Of course I know you have a lot to cover when it comes to catching up.” I hesitated before saying what came to my mind next. I didn’t want to come off too forward, afterall we were doing this entire ‘getting to know each other to become friends by pretending we weren’t married and lived an entire life together decades ago’ act because I was the one who felt uncomfortable with being so familiar with each other. I decided that it could be a friendly gesture and not be taken too seriously, so I continued “I could always help you with any of that by the way, the catching up that is.”

He nodded slightly and gave a soft smile. “I’d like that,” he replied.

“Do you like Manhattan?” I asked quickly to continue the conversation. 

“Um, I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it’s definitely hard to get used to.”

“I get it, when I first moved to Manhattan it was so different from what I was used to and you have to deal with also having it be almost 70 years later. I mean I wasn’t even living on my own either, I was in this mansion with Howard and-”

“Maddi,” Steve cut me off from my rambling and I froze. “I’m sorry, I know what we agreed to yesterday, but I need some more clarification.”

I fidgeted with my hands and sat up straighter. “Yes of course, what is it?”

“How do we navigate all of this? I mean, I know you do not tell people you just met about the parts of your life before becoming Jennifer. At least you probably wouldn’t tell the truth. I don’t want to make you lie to me about your past, obviously, or not even talk about it at all, but I also don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable if I ask you questions about it.”

I sighed, knowing this would happen after my conversation with Tony. “I don’t want to hide things from you,” I told him truthfully. “I want to be your friend. If I didn’t, I would have left last night to go back to California. I don’t want to talk about the things I made up for my cover like living in Arkansas with my mother for most of my life and then meeting Tony for the first time after losing my only other family I knew. I want to tell you about my actual life, who I actually am. I’m sorry, I’m just scared.”

“So am I, Mads. I’m terrified that just when I got you back, I’m going to lose you again.”

I stared at him while holding back tears. I hated hearing him say things like that, but I couldn’t help but feel the same way. “I thought about it and I talked to Tony about it, and it’s silly to think that we can actually pretend that we weren’t each other’s most important person in the world at one point. Um, I can’t pretend that I don’t still care about you because obviously I do if I haven’t left yet. I’ve ran away from a lot of my problems, away from people I love, but I always come back to the most important people in my life. I figure this time it’s best to save time and not run because I know that I’ll eventually come back because you meant a lot to me, and the hardest part is admitting that you still do. So per Tony’s advice on the phone last night, pretending we weren’t married, that we didn’t grow up together, that we weren’t in love is a form of running for me, and all it will do is waste our time.”

Steve remained silent as he took in my words. I tried to pick apart his thoughts by studying his face, but time apart and his time in the military had made it much harder for me to read him. “Well if that was really Tony’s advice, I’d say I like him a bit more than I thought,” he finally replied with a tentative smile. 

I instantly relaxed at his words and felt my entire body become a little less tense. I chuckled to hide the nerves still present and said “that’s good. I can’t have you hating Tony before you meet him, I already have to deal with his own issues with you.”

“He has issues with me?” he asked with a concerned expression and I realized I probably shouldn’t have brought that up yet. 

“Oh um, it’s not a major issue or anything. It has nothing to do with us, it’s mostly about his own relationship with Howard. As much as I loved the guy, he made a lot of mistakes when it came to being a father. He used you as a model of perfect behavior, despite my constant advising against it, which led to some resentment of you from Tony. When he was old enough and I finally told him who I really was and who my late husband Steve really was, well he didn’t take it so well. He loved Steve the husband of Maddi who died in Vietnam; he hated Steve Rogers who his father help make into Captain America in WWII. Not at first anyway, he idolized you as a young child, but the more he fought with his father, the more he grew to dislike the image Howard created.”

“Wow okay, that’s a lot to take in about a person I have never even met before. You said you talked about me though?”

“Of course, pretty much every version of my lives had you in it in some way. I couldn’t lie about that, I couldn’t cut you out completely. I always had a husband who was the love of my life, and he always died protecting his country. Vietnam was used for a while, Afghanistan is what I use now. Tony loved hearing about you, he was a sweet little kid who thought our love was the greatest there ever was. I often imagined what it could have been like if you were really still there and could have been his godfather with me.”

“You really care about him,” Steve said in response with a small hint of pain that I couldn’t quite understand.

“Yes, he’s been my everything since he was born.”

“He’s the son I was never able to give you” he said with a tear finally rolling down his face.

“That’s not your fault, Steve.”

“Of course it is. Losing our baby while you were pregnant was hard on both of us, but I knew that one day we would try again. When the war was over and we were living the life we dreamed of, we could have started a big family because ours was always so small. I left you alone and that’s my fault.”

“Steve, you saved millions of lives. I knew the risk of loving you, and of course I wanted that big family with you but the time I had was so beautiful and you can’t put yourself down for making the choices you made. I know it didn’t mean that you loved me any less. Having Tony certainly filled my heart because I couldn’t have children anymore. He’s not my son, but he is my godson, and in some ways that means more to him because I’ve always tried to be there for him. I’m so sorry that you don’t have that, but you get a second chance at a life now. You’re still alive and can still find someone and still have a family.”

“A second chance isn’t worth it without you,” he said and cursed myself for shedding tears once more. Despite still having a love for him deep inside me, I knew that even if we were to become what we once were, I still couldn’t give him what he wanted. I was stuck watching everyone grow older than me, and now that would include him. I couldn’t even find a response for him and he knew that I wouldn’t be able to. We sat in silence for a while until he spoke again. “You were wrong by the way,” he said looking at me.

I stared into his eyes, these were the moments I still felt like it was all a dream, “What do you mean?” I asked him.

“You said that you weren’t the same Maddi I knew, but you were wrong.”

“Steve, I-”

“No, trust me. It has been a long time since then for you, it has only been a few weeks for me. I can see clearly that your compassion and love and dedication and intelligence, and every other wonderful thing about you is still there. Sure you may have some parts of you that you don’t like, but so do I and I know that we both have always had that. All the parts of you that matter are still the same.”

“All the wonderful parts of you are still there too,” I told him knowing that his time fighting in such a harsh war had made him feel he had changed too. I got to be there for him during it all, but I’m sure crashing into the ice and waking up 70 years later also made him think he couldn’t be the same person anymore. Maybe that was a good thing, we both felt different and maybe the mix of the old and the new parts of us could come together to form a beautiful friendship once again.


	3. Chapter 3

December 8, 2011

I stood in the cemetery filled with headstones of so many people I loved next to Steve. It had been the first time I had been there in decades, it had been the first time he had been there since waking up. “Are you sure you want to be here?” I asked him as he certainly looked unsure. 

He nodded his head and replied “Yes, it’s not so much about my own fake grave, but for my family, Bucky.”

“I know, that’s why I was asking. Seeing my own headstone wasn’t the reason coming here was often so hard.” 

“Well honestly having you here right now is the only reason I can do this. Before I knew you were still alive, I was told this was where your grave was. I couldn’t bring myself to come yet, it didn’t seem fair that I was still alive and you had a tombstone right next to mine.” I looked at him with a frown but said nothing. I hated that he had to feel that way. I knew that feeling, I had to feel that way for so long and the thought of him having to go through it even for a few weeks was heartbreaking. He studied my tombstone for a while and then asked “Who decided how yours would look?” 

“Howard and Peggy. They wanted me to help them before I left, but I really didn’t want any part in it. I had no idea what it even looked like until decades later.” I hesitated before adding, “I’m sure their process wasn’t nearly as difficult as mine with yours. The amount of crap that I had to go through to make your funeral the way I wanted it was ridiculous. I honestly don’t think you were all that worth it.” I gave him a smirk as I teased him about a time that was actually a living hell for me, but I didn’t want to spend every conversation with him sad about the past.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled in response. “Please tell me more. That stone is very simple looking, I can’t seem to imagine how it was really that hard.” I was glad he was teasing me back. The past few weeks he had been nothing but apologetic for everything I went through since he crashed the plane. This felt more normal.

“That was the problem! Simplicity was not allowed when it came to Captain America, you of all people should remember that. I had to fight for Steve Rogers to be heard. Picture this and tell me exactly how much you would have hated it. A statue of Captain America made in Washington DC as the tombstone with ‘Captain America’ engraved in the namespace along with a lovely american flag. Don’t worry though because it mentions Steve Rogers just below the birth and death dates saying ‘Steve Rogers died believing in and fighting for his country’. Now all of this would naturally be revealed after a grand funeral service at a some random church in DC with every important person from the country in attendance including every news source around. And IF she were lucky, the wife could make the front page as long as she didn’t cry too much when they lowered the fake casket into the ground because Captain America still has an image to uphold, and his wife really should look her best even when in grieving.” I gave him a tight smile remembering the main conversation along with several others that I had with the Senator when planning Steve’s funeral.

“Oh you’re right, I hated every sentence you just said.”

“Well lucky for you, with Peggy and Howard’s help, I made sure none of that would happen. I couldn’t keep all the news and important government people away, but at least it was in Brooklyn next to your parents and actually for you instead of your superhero persona.”

“Thank you Maddi, I know that must have been really hard. Let me guess, Senator Brandt was the one giving you the most headaches.”

“Of course he was! There’s no other man I know who would tell a grieving wife her husband cared more about his country than he cared about her.”

“He said that to you?” He asked in horror while turning to me with a frown. 

I just shrugged and responded “yeah but I knew he was full of it. I wasn’t going to let some old man who barely knew you override your final words to me. I knew the truth, you don’t have to worry about that.” He nodded quickly and looked deep in thought. “Come on, you ready to see Bucky’s?” I asked.

“I’m not really ready, but I never will be anyway so lead the way.” I took him over to Bucky’s spot. Since he died in 1945, a few of his other family members followed. His parents were buried right next to him, but his sister was probably buried near her husband’s family. 

“His family held the funeral while we were still in Europe.”

“I wish I could have apologized to them.”

“It wasn’t your fault Steve.”

“I know you still say and believe that, but I just can’t.” I took his hand and squeezed it in mine. I he looked at our hands and then up at me and I gave him a small smile. I hated seeing him still so upset about it. 

“He wouldn’t want you blaming yourself.” 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


December 19, 2011 (Steve’s POV)

“So are you going back to California for Christmas?” I asked Maddi as we ate dinner together in my apartment. Over the last month we had been spending almost every day together and it was honestly the only thing getting me through all of these changes. The thought of her going back to California terrified me. I knew I was so lucky to have her with me every day that I did, and it was only a matter of time before she went back because she didn’t even live in New York. 

“Actually, I thought I’d stay in New York. If that’s alright with you?” she asked before taking a bite of the pasta in front of her.

“Oh yes of course it is.” I stumbled over my words as I was surprised by her response. “I guess I just thought you would want to spend it with Tony.”

She nodded and said “Um yes, but I thought about it and I didn’t want you to have to spend it alone. Tony has Pepper and Happy, he’ll be alright. He may have acted like it was the end of the world when I told him, but he can handle it,” she said with a laugh. I didn’t respond as I just took in her laugh and smile. Every moment I spent with her I tried to cherish as much as possible because I felt like I could lose her in the blink of an eye. “I still love Christmas, by the way.”

“Really?” I asked with a smile.

“Oh yes, favorite time of the year. The decorations, the lights, the music, just the overall joy that is associated with it. It never gets old for me. When Tony was growing up, it became harder for him to enjoy Christmas because his parents were often out of town. However, I was able to make the best of it with him, and we both have very fond memories because of it.”

“Well I’m sorry for having such little decorations and Christmas spirit in this apartment, it’s probably pretty depressing actually.” Other than basic furniture, I didn’t really have much in my apartment to begin with. I didn’t really have any personal belongings anymore to make it feel more like home. 

“Oh don’t worry, my hotel mansion is just as lacking in holiday spirit. I honestly am too afraid to put any decorations up as I would probably break something way too expensive in the process. Of course Tony would pay it off immediately, but I really don’t want to make the bill any larger than it already is.”

“Why don’t you stay in a different hotel then, or at least a different room?”

“Tony’s way of showing compassion and love is often through gifts and money. I know that’s kind of hard to relate to, but I’m not going to make him feel excessively bad for it. I don’t usually let him do things like this; it took a while to convince him to let me pay for my own apartment in California. Which was from a paycheck from his own company, but that wasn’t enough for him. Anyway, sometimes I let it go because I know he’s trying his best to make me feel better and it makes him feel better to not be worrying about me either. I pick a cheaper and smaller hotel room, and he will go crazy trying to figure out everything about it and making sure it's absolutely perfect, which it never would be by his standards. He’s stayed in this suite, so he knows it’s the best in New York. Also realistically, Tony could pay for that suite every night for over 600 years and still not run out of money, a couple months doesn’t even phase him.”

“I can’t even imagine that kind of money, you’re rarely even in the hotel, what does it give you?”

“You wanna come see?” she asked with a laugh. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to begin to describe it to you. We can go when we finish dinner.”

So after we both finished our meal we headed over to the Four Seasons Hotel. When arriving, a man at the door recognized Maddi and immediately approached her. “Ms. O’Neil, welcome back. Is there anything I can get for you, anything I can get for the gentleman with you?”

“No thanks Mr. Hayes, we’re just heading up to the room,” she responded politely. She then leaned to me and said as we kept walking “part of the package for the room is 24 hour room service, butler, and chauffeur. Except I usually eat with you, I’m rarely ever here to begin with, and I actually like walking everywhere.” We finally got up to her suite and I was speechless at the sight. It had multiple rooms that were beautifully designed. It was clearly the size of the entire floor as we walked through it and could see out the window of every room. The view from over 50 floors was a little terrifying even after experiencing higher views from airplanes in the war.

“This is,” I hesitated on finding the right words for it. “This is a lot.”

“Yes, I promise my actual apartment is nowhere near this pretentious,” she joked. My eye caught the grand piano near some of the full wall length windows. Maddi followed my gaze and said “Oh yes, that’s quite a piano isn’t it? It is actually one of the few things in the suite that I’ve made use of.”

“You play piano?” I asked looking back at her. Maddi always loved music, but we never had any money for an instrument of our own.

She nodded and responded with “well when you have decades of time to spare, you can pick up a few things. I’ve gotten pretty good at piano and guitar with both classical and modern music. For the same reason I’ve also become fluent in Spanish and French, which have both been very useful I think.”

I looked at her in awe and chuckled, “wow, that’s really impressive.”

“Thank you. Would you like to hear something on the piano? I could even sing a little if you’d really like.”

“I would love to hear you play and sing.” She smiled and made her way to the piano to sit down. 

“Any requests?” she asked turning back to me. 

“Well my music is limited to pre 1945, so maybe you should just pick anything you like.”

“Oh we definitely need to get you caught up on music. I think it will really help you get a sense of all the years you missed to go through the evolution of music in order since the 40s.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Also the dancing! I can teach you all the crazy phases.” She had a suspicious smirk when saying that. Of course I loved dancing with Maddi, and she was always a wonderful dancer, but with how much has changed in the world I doubt I’d be any better than I was in the past.

“Alright, well go easy on me.”

“No promises!” she laughed and I just shook my head at her until I joined her laughter. Although I didn’t have a wife anymore, these moments made me especially glad I still had a best friend, and it made me hopeful for being more once again. 

* * *

**A/N: I hope you like the chapter! I have a little bit more before I get into the plot of The Avengers, I’m excited to keep writing and I just wish I had more time! Let me know what you think of it all, is the pacing good? Is there anything confusing you guys? Are the character developments to your satisfaction at the moment? I would just love to hear any thoughts! Thank you to those still reading, I really appreciate all of you!**


	4. Chapter 4

_I bet you think I either moved on or hate you_

_'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply._

_I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you_

_And risk another goodbye._

_And I just wanna tell you_

_It takes everything in me not to call you._

_And I wish I could run to you._

_And I hope you know that every time I don't_

_I almost do._

-"I Almost Do" by Taylor Swift 

* * *

December 24, 2011

After a Christmas dinner Steve and I made together, we sat at the table of his apartment sipping champagne. “You know, I would have thought you wouldn’t want to drink again after everything.” He nodded to my glass and I shrugged.

“Doesn’t really matter I guess, we’re a couple of freaks who can’t get drunk so here we are.” I raised my glass to him and he raised his back. 

“So is midnight Mass still a thing on Christmas?” he hesitantly asked.

I chuckled and responded “well it is still a thing, but I haven’t gone in a really long time. Do you want to go?”

“No, no, I’m alright I was just curious really.”

I nodded and thought for a few moments. “I have an idea,” I said with a smile as I stood up quickly. I went over to him and held out my hands. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and took them in his. I pulled him out of his seat and pushed the dining table and chairs out of the way to make room. I then set my phone on the table and turned on a Christmas playlist. “You know how I showed you a bunch of my favorite songs a few days ago and taught you some of those dances?”

Steve laughed and shook his head jokingly. “Trust me, Mads, I won’t be forgetting that anytime soon.” I laughed with him as I remembered it myself. I showed him the highlights of music as it evolved from 1945. We listened to music the entire day including Elvis, The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, Carole King, James Taylor, The Bee Gees, Elton John, Queen, AC/DC, Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Shania Twain. Some he certainly enjoyed more than others. I got to teach him all the silly dances that I could remember from the twist, to the disco, and many more that had us laughing at how ridiculous we must have looked. He asked me if people still slow danced and I assured him that for the right songs, people definitely still slow danced. I had also shown him more recently some of my favorite Christmas songs that had been released, however, I wanted to play for him the songs that we used to listen to each Christmas before 1945. 

I took his hand as the first song begun and led him to the middle of the room, “Will you have a dance with me on this Christmas Eve?” I asked him.

“Of course I will,” he responded and pulled me close. We danced and I felt like I was back in the pub in Europe dancing our last Christmas together. This was all I wanted all those years without him, to have one more Christmas dance. When _I’ll Be Home For Christmas_ started playing, I couldn’t help but let tears fall as I had my head laying on Steve’s chest. It may had been over 65 years late, but he did keep his promise to come back to me, I just couldn’t bring myself to let myself feel the love I knew I never lost for him.

  
  
  
  


January 14, 2012

“Maddi, two months ago you didn’t even want to go to New York. Now you want to get an apartment and move there?!” Tony said over the phone after I told him I had found an apartment in Manhattan and was planning to move in. 

“I know, Tony, but I really don’t see myself going back to California anytime soon and I thought this would be better than staying in the hotel. I can continue my work for Stark Industries from here, and this way I can have my things. I asked Pepper to get people to ship out everything I have, and it should arrive by monday.”

“Pepper knew about this before me?” he asked me and then I heard him talk away from the phone “You knew about this?” 

“Do not blame Pepper for not telling you, I just wanted to make sure everything was set before breaking it to you.”

“Well what does this mean for you and Steve then? It seems like you two are getting along much better than I thought considering you want to live with him now.”

“I’m not living with him, Tony. And yes, Steve and I are having a good time getting to know each other now. We’re friends.”

“Friends, right, okay. He’s just your friend who is slowly stealing you away from the life you have here in LA.”

“Tony you know it’s not about where I live, all the people in my life in LA are still just as important to me, especially you.”

“I know, just be careful alright. I’ll be out there soon to visit as we finish up Stark Tower. You can show me your apartment, I guess I can meet Steve if you’re still talking to him by then.”

“Thank you Tony, I’ll of course be sure to call you as much as I can, this isn’t like when I left before, I promise.” I knew that Tony was hiding a lot of his fears through his sarcastic tone and never ending jokes. Last time I left, I was gone for a long time and we couldn’t speak with each other. I didn’t want to do that to him again, and I knew he was worried that’s what this would turn into. I could tell that he was desperate to find a way to stop my immortality so I would never have to leave like that again. While I tried to keep a positive face for him whenever he brought it up, I had lost all hope of that a long time ago. I wish I had the courage to let the world know who I really was, but the possibilities of what would come next held me back.

  
  
  


January 21, 2012

“Now that I am officially all moved in, we don’t have to spend all our time having dinners at your place!” I had just finished showing Steve around my new apartment and I was smiling as he took it all in.

“This place is very nice, Maddi. It has so much more warmth to it than the hotel you were at and the apartment I’m in right now. I would definitely enjoy coming over here more often.” He was looking at some photos I had up from when Tony was a child and other with Peggy and I at different points in our lives. It definitely felt more like a home than his place which had really no personal items in it at all.

“Speaking of that actually, I have some things I wanted to show you. Give to you actually.”

As I ran to the other room, I heard him say “you don’t give me anything Mads.”

I came back trying to balance a few rather large boxes on top of each other and said “trust me, you’ll want to see this.” he grabbed a couple of the top and helped me set them down in front of the sofa as we sat next to each other. “So this is everything I have been able to keep over the years, I made sure Pepper sent it all because I really don’t think I should be the one to have them.”

“What is this?” he asked as I opened the first box.

“And of course it’s not everything, but it is all that I could get away with keeping when we faked my death back in 58. Peggy helped me determine what could go to museums and what we could hide away so nobody else would take it. I had nobody left in my family when I ‘died’ so all of your things that I kept when you crashed in the Atlantic had to go to the public. Honestly, they were probably thrilled, so many places had been pestering me for some of your things for years.”

“Maddi,” he stopped me as I rambled on, still not taking anything out of the boxes yet as I tried to explain. “Are these all of my things from before?”

“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about them earlier. But like I said, there are many things that are either with museums or with SHIELD so I don’t have your uniform or your shield or all of your photographs, letters, drawings, but I do have a lot and honestly I feel like what I kept was some of the most important things anyway.”

“They told me all of my stuff was either locked away, on display or lost.”

“Well as far as they know, but I just couldn’t give up everything. Do you want to look through?” he looked up at me and smiled, I could tell he was so happy at the ability to be able to see and have stuff from his past again. He nodded quickly and I gave a small laugh as I started to grab things out of the box. We looked through photographs and important items from his childhood. His parent’s wedding photos and his father’s medals from the military made him smile and I could tell he was holding back some tears. I had photos already up in my apartment of him, Bucky, and me, but I also kept some in here so he could have some of his own. We got to the album of drawings Steve made for me of our wedding and he froze as he looked at the cover. 

“You kept this?” he asked with awe.

“Of course I did, it was the best present you ever gave me. I wasn’t letting anyone else take it. I have the photograph from our wedding as well, and my rings. You can have them back if you’d like, I know the engagement ring was your mother’s.” I showed him the necklace that I placed the two rings on years before.

“No, you keep them.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me Mads, it means a lot that you kept them after all these years. I gave them to you, they’re yours now. Also, Ma would have wanted hers to stay with you, I think she always knew it would be yours anyway.” He gave me a small smile and I returned it. I put the rings in my palm and closed my fingers over them, I was secretly glad he let me keep them. 

  
  


February 16, 2012

“Actually, the Dodgers aren’t with Brooklyn anymore.” Steve had just asked if I wanted to go to a Dodgers game with him once the season started like we did when we were younger. I hated having to break it to him that his and my favorite baseball team weren’t even in New York anymore. 

“What?” Steve looked at me like that was the craziest news he had heard since waking from the ice.   
  


“Yeah, they finally won the World Series in 1955, and then a few years later they were moved to Los Angeles. The Giants moved the same year to San Francisco.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I wish I was,” I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the look on his face, but then I quickly stopped and apologized. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. I know it’s actually really sad, we were all upset when it happened. They gave us a new Team, the Mets, but it’s definitely not the same. Oh Steve you would have just loved the Dodgers’ win in 55, it was something I remember wishing I could have shared with you.”

“I’m sure it was a great win to see. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to root for a whole new team though.”

“It’s either them or the Yankees,” I told him and he instantly made a face. 

“Absolutely not,” he responded and I let out a laugh. “I guess I’ll have to give the Mets a chance.”

  
  
  


March 6, 2012

Steve and I were walking in Central Park and enjoying the weather at the end of winter. The air was still brisk and there was snow all over the ground, but the wind was low and the sun was shining. We walked in a comfortable silence for a while until Steve stopped and I looked over at him, curious as to why. As soon as I did, however, I felt a ball of snow hit my coat. “Alright Rogers, you asked for it.” I laughed as I grabbed my own handful of snow and threw it at him as he ran away.

“Is that all you got?” he asked with a laugh in return. I went to grab more snow but soon I realized he was much closer as he threw a full pile of snow at me instead of a simple snowball. 

“Steve!” I continued to smile and before I could retaliate, he grabbed my hands and smiled. I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head. “Are you gonna play fair?” I asked.

“I don’t know, define fair.” I smiled and continued to look up at him and his smile softened as he looked back at me. Before I could even realize the butterflies in my stomach, he started to lean down into a kiss and I almost leaned fully in too before I quickly back away. He sighed and looked down as I pulled my hands towards my chest.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t.” I stuttered out as my smile was completely gone. He looked back up at me and frowned.

“Why Maddi? Why can’t we love each other again beyond friendship? After the months we’ve had together, you cannot tell me you don’t feel what I feel.”

“Because I can’t age! I’m stuck like this forever, it doesn’t really make for a lasting relationship.” I didn’t want to lose him all over again as I watched him age and I stayed the same. I already knew it hurt with the friends I have had, it would only hurt ten times more if I admitted my love for him to him or even truly to myself. 

“Oh yeah, that didn’t really stop you in the past though didn’t it?” I froze and took a step back at his words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You were almost engaged, Maddi. You knew you couldn’t age back then and you were more than capable of being in that relationship.” I shook my head and laughed bitterly.

“I still had hope back then that maybe Howard could figure out a cure for me, that maybe I could have a normal life. I thought you weren’t going to hold what I did while you were frozen in the ice against me,” I responded sharply as I felt defensive towards his words.

“Well I feel like that’s just an excuse you’re coming up with in order to avoid the actual feelings you have. Maybe this is just who you are now because while you stay here and pretend that you're making an effort, you’re really doing the same thing you did back then probably in the exact same way.” He continued to criticize as he said “Come on Maddi, when should I expect you to leave without even a note to go off on your next drug and sex spree?” 

“Fuck you, Steve.” his words caused me so much anger that I couldn’t hold back the tears in my eyes as I felt my whole body shake. For him to bring up the one thing I felt so much shame inside for, I had no idea he could be so cruel. I never imagined myself swearing at him like that, but I also never ever imagined him to say anything like what he said to me. 

I turned to leave because I couldn’t even look at his face anymore. I felt him lightly grab my hand as he said “Maddi wait, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t touch me!” I yelled at him as I yanked my hand away. “Just stay away from me, Steve. Clearly all of this was a mistake. I always knew in my mind that you would hate who I became all those years ago, but in these last few months I began to think that maybe I was wrong. I should have never been so naive.” Steve looked at me with remorse in his eyes but I couldn’t stay there anymore. I didn’t want to hear his apologies, I didn’t want to hear anything from him at all. My heart felt like it was losing him all over again and this was exactly what I was worried about since the moment I heard he was still alive. I turned without another word and walked out of the park towards my apartment.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you guys aren’t too mad at me for this chapter. It had some good and bad moments, but I think it’s important for their new development. Also, as PG13 movies are usually allowed one use of the F word, I figured my teen rating was allowed the same thing and I used it here. I thought that it was fitting for a character that spent all of her early life never swearing because that’s not what ladies did back then. Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter and where you expect or hope for things to go as we get closer to Avengers plot! Thanks again for all the support after all this time, I really appreciate all of you reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Will You Love Me Tomorrow (2010 live version) - Carole King and James Taylor Duet**

* * *

_You can hear it in the silence, silence_

_You can feel it on the way home, way home_

_You can see it with the lights out , lights out_

_You are in love, true love_

_You are in love_

_-"You Are In Love" by Taylor Swift_

* * *

March 9, 2012

It was three days since I last saw Steve when I heard a knock on my door in the evening after finishing my dinner. I went to answer it and when our eyes locked, I did not move or say a word. He looked at me hesitantly and then asked “May I come in?” I said no response, but moved aside so he could walk through the door. I shut it once he was in and made my way back to the kitchen table, sat down, and grabbed my cup of tea I had made before he arrived and took a sip as I saw him search for words to say. “Maddi, what I said was wrong. I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am about it. I am truly sorry.”

“Are you sorry you said it or sorry you felt that way? Or feel that way, I guess?”

“I’m sorry I said it because I don’t feel that way. I was just upset and I said it because I wanted to make you feel as bad as I felt in the moment, but I didn’t mean it.”

“But did it come from some truth? Who I was, what I’ve done, does that bother you? Because if it does, don’t you think we need to talk about it if we hope to resolve anything between us? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life just running from it or you and regretting everything.”

“You are the love of my life, Maddi. Attacking you for being hurt and lonely and dealing with it the way you did. I had no right to do that. That’s not what hurts me when I think about your past. What hurts me is to think about how you loved someone else enough to almost get engaged with, despite knowing what you know now about your aging issue. Yet you refuse to be anything more than friends with me now. You are the love of my life and I feel pain every time I think about how I lost you even when you are standing right in front of me.”

I paused to think about what he said and what I wanted to say before responding. “What you said to me was really really hurtful, but how I’ve been treating you isn’t very kind either. I’ve been justifying it because losing you in 1945 was the greatest pain I had ever felt. Living without you, is something I never stopped feeling pain over, I just learned to live with that pain. The thought going through that all over again just paralyzes me with fear. It would be worse than when I had to leave Jackson. Back then, I let my guard down with the hope of finding a fix to not aging. I don’t have that hope anymore. So how can I let myself love you fully once more just to lose you all over again?”

He stood up suddenly and took my hands from the table and held them gently in his. He said “Because we deserve that happiness even if it is temporary. Maddi, the only thing that has gotten me through these months has been you by my side. You make the confusion and pain I feel a little more easy to deal with. I want to be that for you too. Your fears have not stopped you from finding a family with Tony Stark and a friendship with me, so don’t let it stop you from forming a new love with me too. I love you; I’ll never stop loving you, and I’m so sorry for hurting you. Please forgive me, Maddi.”

I stood up in front of him, not letting go of his hands. “I do, Steve, I forgive you.” He smiled slightly at my words but before he could say anything in return, I continued. “Steve, you are the love of my life too.” He looked stunned and I clarified “not were. Are. You are currently the love of my life; you always have been, and I have been wasting our time denying that. Please forgive me for that, for causing you pain by pushing you away.”

He didn’t respond but he let go of my hands and put his on my face in one swift movement. Before I knew what had happened, he was kissing me. In that moment, I felt more free than I had in decades. I felt every bit of tension I didn’t know I still had leave my body as I melted in his kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I kissed him back and I could feel his smile against my lips. We pulled apart much too soon in my opinion and opened our eyes to look into each other’s. “Wow,” was all he said.

“Wow,” echoed him in a whisper.

“I love you, Maddi.”

“I love you, Steve.” He met me again with another kiss and eventually we made our way to my bedroom. I gave my entire heart and soul to him as I once had 67 years before, and I could honestly say that I held no regrets over my actions. This was something that I had been holding back from Steve and myself for too long, and it felt beautiful to let go and fully be with the love of my life once more.

* * *

**  
  
**

March 10, 2012 (STEVE’S POV)

I laid next to Maddi in her bed and she slept soundly under the covers. I softly brushed her beautiful red hair out of her face and smiled; I couldn’t believe that everything I was feeling and seeing in front of me was real. After almost losing all hope of being with her once more, I got to spend the entire night with her feeling like I was in paradise. Even when she finally fell asleep, I stayed awake all night. Of course sleep wouldn’t have come to me easily anyway, and I didn’t want to risk having a nightmare with her so close, but I also wanted to take in every moment here with her because it felt like it could disappear within seconds. Eventually her eyes started to flutter open and she gave me a small smile when she saw I was already awake. “Good morning beautiful,” I said quietly to her.

“Good morning handsome,” she replied while lifting her hand to meet mine that rested on her cheek. “This is real, right? Last night was real?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking myself that too. I know that me loving you is real.”

“Me loving you is real too.” 

“Then it must all be real.”

“Yeah,” she whispered and closed her eyes again. I wish I could know exactly what she was thinking. I was so worried about doing or saying the wrong thing that could make this all go away, and I wanted to make sure that this lasted forever. “Do you want to make breakfast together?” she asked with a mischievous smile and I returned it. 

“Sure,” I told her and we got dressed and made our way to the kitchen. As I stood there, my face dropped when I focused on the calendar on the wall and realized what day it was. “It’s March 10th,” I said and Maddi turned towards me with a concerned look on her face. “How could I have forgotten, today is March 10th.”

“Oh Steve,” she made her way towards me and put a hand on my face as I looked down. It was Bucky’s birthday and I had forgotten. Of course I had remembered yesterday, but for a brief moment this morning, I was too happy to finally be with Maddi that I had forgotten it was his birthday. “You didn’t forget it was his birthday, you just forgot for a moment that it was March 10th. Given the circumstances, I’m sure Bucky wouldn’t have been all that upset that you just forgot what day it was when you woke up this morning.” She gave me a light chuckle to make me feel better, and I kept quiet on the fact that I hadn’t actually woken up this morning forgetting because I never went to sleep last night. I guess it had slipped my mind as soon as we had kissed the previous evening. 

“He should have been able to keep celebrating his birthday into old age, I hate having to spend this day without him every year now thinking about-” I couldn’t finish as Maddi tried to comfort me.

“I know, I know.” I looked at her as she spoke and I knew that she knew better than anyone else could. She had been living through this date as well as my own birthday and the birthdays of so many other people she cared about by herself for so many years. “What can I do to help you? Do you want to go visit the cemetary today?”

“No, thank you but it just doesn’t feel right knowing he’s not really there.”

“He’s with us right now,” she reminds me.

“I know,” I smile lightly at her. “Just being with you helps, I promise.”

**  
  
**

* * *

**  
  
**

April 2, 2012

Oddly enough, it didn’t feel super different with Steve and I since I told him the truth about my feelings. Of course things were different now, but we still spent most days together on a walk through New York or catching him up on history or pop culture of the last several decades. We simply also spent more time together kissing or in bed like we had all those years ago on the SSR base in Europe after we had gotten married. I had previously thought this would ruin my happiness I had found in recent years, but it only added to it and took away all the tension I had been holding. I also knew that my anger with him was mostly anger with myself while we fought. My love with Steve took away a lot of my pain and I could tell that it did the same for Steve too. He was happier than I had seen him in a very long time. 

It was morning and we were in his bed together, I watched him peacefully as he slept. We spent a few nights together in either mine or his apartment, and this was the first time I had ever woken up before him. It was a whole different feeling being with him in this way again, I never thought I would experience it ever again. I didn’t want to wake him because just being there with him watching him sleep like I used to in the 1940s was something I wanted to cherish. Soon I realized his sleeping wasn’t as peaceful as I initially thought. I knew immediately that he was having a nightmare as I had seen that look on his sleeping face many times before during the war. I hesitated in waking him up because I knew he needed the sleep. I could tell that he spent most nights lying awake, even though I knew he would deny it if I brought it up. However, after a few minutes, I decided his dream was clearly getting worse and I needed to wake him up. I tried to be gentle to not startle him, but as I brushed my hand on his shoulder and whispered for him to wake up, he grabbed my hand very suddenly in his own. “Steve,” I said a bit louder this time as I tried to pull my hand from his tight grasp. “Wake up, Steve.” Before I knew it, he squeezed my hand extremely hard and it caused me to let out a cry in pain. “Steve!” I yelled at him trying to ignore the pain and focus on waking him. His eyes shot open at my yelling his name and when he saw his grip on my hand he released it like it was on fire. I was sitting up at this point and pulled my hand to my chest. He jumped out of bed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Maddi, are you okay?” He did a short pace near the bed as he looked at me and my hand. “Oh god, Maddi. I’m so sorry, what did I do? How much did I hurt you?”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly. I looked at my hand and could tell that a couple of the bones in my fingers were definitely broken and the bruises were already clear and deep shades of purple and blue. I set my fingers straight as I winced in pain so they could begin healing themselves. It took less than a minute for my hand to fully heal and Steve remained quiet during the entire process. I looked up at him as I flexed and moved my fingers and wrist in front of the two of us. “See, no worries. Good as new,” I told him and he gave me a look like I was crazy. 

“Maddi, we both saw what they just looked like. I crushed your hand, it was broken and bruised.”

“And now it’s okay,” I said as I balanced myself on my knees and reached out to him from the bed. He took a step back to avoid my touch and I shook my head. “Please Steve, come sit down and we can talk about this.” He hesitated but slowly made his way next to me and we sat next to each other on the bed. “Take a look up close, it doesn’t matter that they were broken a minute ago, my fingers healed themselves very quickly. Probably would have been quicker if I had ever broken a bone before, but my body has never had to heal itself in that specific way before.”

“It doesn’t matter how fast they healed themselves, you were clearly in pain because I crushed them in my sleep. I can’t believe I let myself fall asleep, I’ve been so careful.” He put his face in his hands and frowned at how upset he was.

“Steve, have you been staying up every night we’ve been together?” I asked him concerned. 

“I didn’t want to risk having a nightmare with you nearby. Clearly I was right to worry.” he lifted his head up and looked at me. 

“Steve, you should have talked about this with me instead of just not sleeping. Do you have nightmares every night?”

“Most nights,” he replied and I carefully took his hand in mine. He jumped a little at the touch but he held my hand back as I encouraged him to continue. “Parts of the war sometimes get in my brain at night, losing Bucky, crashing into the ocean, leaving you alone in 1945. I remember a lot more of it than I thought I would and while I can ignore it during the day sometimes, it just doesn’t leave me alone at night.”

“Oh darling,” I wrapped my other arm around his shoulder and held him close to me. “All of that is very normal for the trauma you’ve had to go through. I wish you had told me this earlier, and we could have started working through it before now. Our society understands the human brain and its psychology much more than when we were growing up, and there are so many resources that can help you.”

“I just can’t believe I hurt you, Mads. I’m so sorry, I never ever wanted to cause you pain like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Steve, I know you didn’t mean to. Don’t worry about me or my hand, I’m pretty strong now,” I gave him a small smile. “Much stronger than you probably remember me.”

“You’ve always been strong, Maddi. The strongest person I know,” he said quickly before I could say anything else.

“Thank you,” I said, knowing I had a slight blush on my cheeks. “I promise that I’m not mad this happened, and it doesn’t make me look at you any differently. I’ll just help you in any way I can,” I told him and he nodded in return.

“Thank you, Maddi. I love you,” he said as he rubbed his thumb on my hand.

“I love you too,” I said with a smile.

* * *

**  
  
  
**

May 3, 2012 (STEVE’S POV)

I hit my way through the bags at the old boxing gym in town, losing track of time. I came here a lot once I found out that it was here. When Maddi was busy running her part of the Stark company, it was a good way to spend all the free time I had. I also sometimes came here when Maddi and I weren’t sharing an apartment for the night and I couldn’t sleep. It was a nice reminder of how things used to look. I had been trying my best to keep up with all the new changes of New York and the world beyond the city I grew up in, and Maddi was so helpful the entire time, but sometimes I really needed places like this one. Using punching bags was also a very helpful way of me getting out my anger. Maddi was trying to get me into healthy ways of working through my feelings, and some helped more than others. I was going to this empty gym more often, and it definitely made me realize I was more angry than I had thought. Of course I was sad about a lot of things and admittedly fearful of many things too, but I was so angry about much more. I was angry that I had to spend so long fighting Hydra in a terrible war. I was angry that I let Bucky fall to his death from that train. I was angry that the only way I was able to save so many people was to crash that plane into the ice. I was angry that nobody found me until decades later. I was especially angry that I had left Maddi a widow at 26 and that she had to live through decades of pain. I was angry that we didn’t get our dream life together in the 1940s. All of this anger had me punching through plenty of punching bags that broke when I let all my strength out. 

“Trouble sleeping?” I heard a voice come from the door and it stopped me as I looked over. I saw Nick Fury standing there and I continued to punch the new bag in front of me.

“I slept for 70 years, sir. I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world, spending a little more time with a certain redhead.” His words made me stop my punching and I went to take off the wraps on my hands. 

“When I went under, the world was a war. I wake up, they say we won. They didn’t say what we lost. I thought I lost everything, but turns out everyone wasn’t entirely truthful there either though.”

“We’ve made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently, in more ways than one. Dr. Rogers’ current status wasn’t something we thought was in our place to tell you just yet.”

“She goes by Jennifer now, Jennifer O’Neil.” I didn’t think that I should specify that we were together again with the man in front of me. It was strange to hear him refer to her as Dr. Rogers though, but I actually wasn’t sure what to refer to Maddi anymore. Her new name was completely fake and foreign to me, but it also felt strange to call her Madeline Bennett again. Of course, I wasn’t going to start calling her with my last name without her okay because she said it herself months before that we weren’t technically married anymore. 

“I am aware of that,” he responded. I looked over at him and noticed a file he was carrying.

“You here with a mission, sir?” 

“I am.”

“Trying to get me back into the world?” I internally scoffed at the idea of it all. As much as Maddi was integrating me into society now, it had all been in very low scale ways. It was just the two of us learning about everything I had missed together. The idea of being sent on a mission for SHIELD was not something that was probably a good idea for me. 

“Trying to save it.” he handed me the file opened and the picture inside immediately caught my attention. The word _Tesseract_ stood in big letter next to it.

“Hydra’s secret weapon,” I said with disgust in my voice. There was nothing on this Earth I hated more than Hydra, the organization that ruined the life I knew 70 years before. 

“Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you,” Fury spoke as I looked through the file some more. “He thought what we think, the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That is something the world needs.” 

“Who took it from you?” I asked as I handed him back the file, knowing that this was going to be a manhunt for me if I signed on to help.

“He’s called Loki, he’s not from around here. There’s a lot we’ll have to bring you up to speed on if you’re in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.”

I gave him a look that didn’t completely buy into his words. I had already experienced more than enough strangeness from what Maddi has shown me with technology and everything beyond it. “At this point I doubt anything would surprise me.”

“Ten bucks says you’re wrong. There’s a debriefing packet waiting for you back at your apartment.” He told me as I went to carry my things to leave the gym. I was honestly more than ready to no longer be with the man in front of me, I really just wanted to be with Maddi to talk through the things I just learned. Also, despite it being provided by SHIELD, it was also unsettling to know people had been in my apartment without me there. “Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?”

“You should have left it in the ocean.” I told him, truly meaning it, as I walked out of the gym and straight back to my apartment. As soon as I got my hands on the packet that sat on my dining table, I made my way to Maddi’s apartment knowing it was about the time she woke up in the morning.

I knocked on her door and when she answered, she was still in her night clothes sipping her morning tea. “Hey, what brings you here so early?” she asked as she let me in. We made our way to her kitchen table and I showed her the packet of information left to me about the Loki guy and him stealing the Tesseract from SHIELD. She read through it quickly and then gave me a frown. “SHIELD wants you to come in and help find this guy?” she asked.

“Yes, Nick Fury came to see me this morning to ask me to join the mission. I don’t want to do this without you, so will you come with?” I asked her.

She thought for a moment before shaking her head and replying “no.”

“What?” I was confused at hearing her decline when I wasn’t expecting it.

“I’m sorry but no. I can’t go with you on this, I don’t feel comfortable about it, I don’t feel comfortable about you going either.”

“Maddi, this seems really serious, I think it is something we should probably help with.” I could tell that she was probably scared at what the outcome of this all would be.

“I understand that, but you don’t have to do what they tell you to do. You aren’t theirs to order around.”

“Well I don’t think they’re just ordering me around,” I told her. “I just think we should help here, we have abilities that nobody else has and maybe we should use them to help when we can.”

“Okay first off, they asked you to go, not me. They don’t need any of my abilities, and I certainly don’t feel comfortable giving them any. Second, they shouldn’t get to use me or you whenever they have a problem that they can’t figure out on their own.”

“Well they are providing my apartment, it’s not like I should have expected them to leave me alone for the rest of my life.”

“Honestly they shouldn’t have to. You’re entitled to decades worth of backpay from the government and SHIELD shouldn’t be holding on to anything over your head that could get you to do things for them.”

I could tell Maddi was getting worked up over the subject so I took a deep breath and to keep the situation calm “Okay, I don’t think they are holding this over my head right now or ordering me around. I looked at the facts and I think that I should help. I think you should help too.”

“And what am I going to do exactly? I can heal myself super fast, that’s only useful if I knew how to fight at all, which I can’t. I’m not about to put on a super suit and fight the bad guys, and I don’t want to let you go do it either. The last time you did, I lost you!” I could tell she was on the verge of tears and I put my hand on her face to calm her down.

“Hey,” I said softly as I rubbed my thumb on her cheek. “It’s okay, I know you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” she said quietly, but we both knew it was a lie. 

“Come with me, none of this means that it’s going to end in a fight, and if it does, trust that it’s going to be okay. Just come with and maybe they could use that super smart brain of yours, huh?”

She suppressed a smile as she looked up at me. “It’s not that super smart,” she joked.

“It’s super to me,” I pushed some of her hair back behind her ear. “Come on, they already know about you, I don’t think it’s too much harm to just go and consult a little. Nobody is going to force you, or me, to do any fighting.”

She thought for a moment and closed her eyes with a sigh. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll go with you, mainly because I don’t trust all the people involved in this and I want to protect you from any kind of manipulation.”

“Oh so now you’re protecting me?” I asked with a laugh.

“Steve you should know by now that I’ve been the one protecting you for most of our lives,” she laughed back and I nodded.

“Fair enough, it is something I’ve picked up on.” I gave her a kiss on the forehead and then stepped back from her. “Pack some things quickly because the packet says we need to meet them at a pick up point in an hour.” 

“Okay,” she gave me a nervous smile but tried to reassure her with a smile of my own. She was worried for our safety and while she joked about protecting me on this trip, I knew that I would be on high alert to make sure she never got too uncomfortable and that she would always be safe. 


	6. Chapter 6

May 3, 2012

Steve and I sat on a small plane with Agent Coulson and I was nervously fidgeting in my seat with a million thoughts running through my head until Steve took hold of my hand, sensing my nerves. I held his back tightly and looked up at him as he smiled slightly, I gave him a smile back as he genuinely made me feel a little bit more at ease. 

“So this Dr. Banner was trying to replicate the serum they used on me?” Steve asked as he watched a video of the Hulk that Coulson gave him in updating him on the new heroes of the world.

“A lot of people were. You were the world’s first superhero,” Coulson replied as he walked toward us.

“It didn’t really go his way did it?” Steve said with a frown.

“Not so much,” Coulson said.

“It never did, Erskine was a genius in Biochemistry like no other,” I added as I thought back to my own failed attempts at recreating the serum. I cringed at how stupid I was for trying and how much worse it was that I would test things on myself. However, as I watched the footage of the Hulk, I figured I could consider myself lucky that I didn’t accidentally turn myself into a green giant.

“When he’s not that thing though, the guy’s like a Steven Hawking,” Coulson added. We both saw Steve’s look of confusion at the name and before I could update him on one of the smartest men of our time, Coulson briefly explained “he’s like a really smart person.” Steve nodded slightly. “I gotta say, it’s an honor to meet you officially.” Steve smiled politely at him and he continued. “ I sort of met you, I mean I watched you while you were sleeping,” I tried to contain a chuckle as he continued to correct himself. “I mean I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice.”

I gave him a daring look and asked “What was it like, Coulson? I wasn’t invited.” I saw Steve then try to contain his own smile at my remark as he stood up and looked out the front window of the plane. 

Phil Coulson tried to regain his composure. He seemed like a nice man who was really just starstruck around Steve, but he was also a SHIELD agent who might have known my identity before and was actively keeping secrets from both Steve and me. I knew that Nick Fury has said only him and Natasha knew who I really was, but I didn’t believe him one bit, especially as I saw Coulson’s reactions towards me. “You know, it’s really just a huge honor to have you on board. Both of you!”

“Well I hope I’m the man for the job.” Steve responded. 

“Oh you are, really! We made some modifications to the uniform,” Coulson replied.

“The uniform? Aren’t the stars and stripes a little old fashioned?” Steve questioned.

“The things that are happening, everything that is about to come to light, I think people just might need a little old fashioned.” 

“Agent Coulson, can you please explain that a bit more? The files given to us on Loki and the Tesseract were all very vague. I think it is important for us to have a better understanding of what is about to happen,” I asked him as I stood up.

“Well I think the files gave you about as much as we could. Loki isn’t from our world, there is only so much we know about him and his motives for taking the Tesseract. I’m sure Fury can get you two better up to speed when we arrive.” His lack of new information did not go unnoticed by Steve or myself. We shared a glance at each other and I could tell that he also knew SHIELD was hiding things from us. Despite being a part of building the organization, I had a lot of anger and distrust towards it as more and more secrets they’ve kept from me arised. I was sure the more I knew the truth behind the Tesseract, the more angry I would probably be. I didn’t say anything for the rest of the flight, but my mind was racing over everything that I was getting myself into. 

As we exited the plane, we were immediately met by Agent Natasha Romanoff and I was quickly beginning to realize this trip was going to be a who’s who of people I already disliked. “Agent Romanoff, this is Captain Rogers and you already know-”

“Jennifer.” Agent Romanoff interrupted as she gave us both a small knowing smile. “Good seeing you again.” Coulson quickly left after introducing us as he was called inside.

“There’s no need for that, Maddi is just fine considering everyone here already knows about it. The list seems to be getting longer, I might as well just announce it on top of The Empire State Building.” I gave her a smile with narrowed eyes.

“Maybe that’s not all a bad idea.” she responded with equal challenge in her voice. “Captain, it was quite the buzz around here finding you in the ice.” She smoothly took the conversation to Steve. “I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?” 

“Trading cards?” Steve asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice. Steve always handled the publicity of being Captain America very well, but there was no hiding the fact that he was overall an introverted man. 

“They’re vintage, he’s very proud,” she responded with a smirk.

Quickly changing the subject, Steve called out “Dr. Banner.” I looked in the direction he was facing and saw a nervous man walking towards us after Steve’s call. 

Steve held out his hand to shake and Dr. Banner said “Oh yes hi, they said you’d be here.”

“Word is you can find the cube,” Steve stated.

“Is that the only word on me?”

“The only word I care about,” Steve was trying to make the man in front of us more comfortable. 

“This all must be strange for you,” Bruce Banner said and it caused Steve and I to look around. 

“Actually this feels kinda familiar,” Steve replied. I could immediately see what he meant as this place reminded me also of the time I spent with him on military bases. “Oh Dr. Banner, I’d like you to also meet, uhh...” Steve tried to introduce me to the man he also just met but stumbled for a moment. I knew right away that he didn’t know how to introduce me. I had told Natasha that Maddi was fine, but she had already known that was my real name. Also nobody here knew Steve and I were actually back together, but that didn’t even really matter because we didn’t know how to label ourselves as a couple either. Girlfriend and boyfriend didn’t seem like the right words for two people who were married but then both died but then didn’t and then were friends but then also admitted their still present love for each other. 

I was going to step in and help but then Dr. Banner spoke before either of us could say a name. “Miss O’Neill, I recognized you from when you ran Stark Industries a few years back.” I forced a smile and shook his hand.

“Um yes, it’s good to meet you Dr. Banner.”

“You three might want to step inside in a minute,” Natasha spoke up just in time for any more conversation between me and the doctor. “It’s going to get a little hard to breathe.”

“Is this a submarine?” Steve asked with awe and curiosity as the floating aircraft carrier began to move and people hurried inside. 

“Really, they want me in a submerged pressurized metal container?” Bruce joked as we walked towards the edge of the aircraft carrier. Soon we realized the carrier was actually being lifted in the air instead of preparing to go underground. “Oh no, this is much worse,” Bruce loudly stated over the sound of the engines.

“Alright, time to go inside,” I agreed and took Steve’s hand as we headed into the main deck of the now flying carrier. Once making it inside, Steve let go of my hand as he walked around and took in the vast technology in front of him. While I had certainly been getting him more and more used to our current society over the last several months, there was never a time I showed him anything of this scale before. I could see the look of shock, awe, and disbelief as he reached into his wallet and handed Nick Fury a ten dollar bill. I caught back up to him and I put my hand lightly on his arm and he looked at me with wide eyes. “Hey, you doing alright?” I asked him softly.

“Yeah yeah,” he said quickly as he nodded his head. “It’s just a lot.”

“I know,” I told him. “If anything gets to be too much, you just tell me. Just because you’re already here doesn’t mean you can’t still leave if you want.”

Steve chuckled and responded “we’re in the air, Mads”

“I know that, but I can be very persuasive and if need be, I would do anything to get us off and back in New York watching another movie at my apartment by dinner.”

“I promise I’ll let you know if that’s what I need, but for now I’m alright.”

“Okay,” I say with a small smile.

“Miss O'Neill!” I heard Nick Fury say from behind me and I spun around as my smile turned forced.

“Director Fury,” I replied.

“I must say I am surprised to see you here, it was under my impression that you didn’t want anything to do with SHIELD.” I could tell he really wasn’t surprised, he probably had counted on me coming with Steve.

“Well don’t get too excited, I probably won’t be much of a help as you were hoping.”

“I’d argue differently. Why don’t you go with Banner to the lab, I’m sure you could help there for now.”

“We both know I’m a little rusty when it comes to gamma rays.”

“I’m sure a small refresher will be enough to get you up to speed.” He challenged and I narrowed my eyes slightly at him. “You know, I was also surprised to hear that you weren’t with Stark when Coulson went to find him at his new tower.”

“Tony’s here? Wait, Tony was in New York?” I asked confused. I had thought that Tony would have told me that he was in New York finishing up the tower. I knew it was almost done, but I didn’t think he was there so recently. I would have met up with him if I had known we were in the same city. 

“He’s not here yet, but we’re hoping for him to decide to come soon.” Fury responded.

I took a deep breath and gave a short nod. “Alright, please tell me when he gets here. I guess I’ll go to the lab for now,” I said as I turned back to Steve. “You’ll be good while I’m gone?” I asked.

“Will you?” he countered as he could sense my unease with the organization I clearly disliked and the recent news on Tony. “It’s my job to worry about you too, you know?” 

I smiled at him, grateful that he was also concerned about how I was feeling with all of these changes for me. “Yeah, if anything, Dr. Banner is probably a good place to start when it comes to trusting others. I have a really good feeling about his character. Let me know if anything changes, I don’t want to find out after the fact that you’ve left this ship to go fight off aliens on your own.” I was soon led to the laboratory that Bruce was previously led to by Natasha. 

Fury wasn’t entirely wrong, while I hadn’t been actively studying any sort of physics since the late 50s, I still kept up with some light reading on Physics Today when I wasn’t trying to increase my knowledge on economics. While my career had made an entirely different shift once officially working for Stark Industries, I still enjoyed topics on physics and biochemistry and let that be part of my leisure time. I remembered enough to keep up in conversation with Dr. Banner, and I served as more of an assistant to him at the moment than an actual partner, but I was still somewhat useful. 

“So, Miss O'Neill,” Bruce asked as we were currently working in silence. “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know so much about gamma radiation? I didn’t even think you worked in the science division of Stark Industries.”

I contemplated telling him an easy lie, that knowledge of science was in my blood and I had taken time in college to get well acquainted with physics and engineering. However, something in me was telling me not to. Maybe it was how tired I was lying to everybody about who I truly was, maybe it was the fact that more people on the Helicarrier than I already planned on knew about my secret, or maybe it was the fact that now being happy with Steve gave me the courage to take more risks and let people into my life again. The reason I always ran and hid was because I didn’t want to be used by any organization or by the public for my abilities. I didn’t want to spend my life being stuck in a lab getting tested on, but I honestly already had much experience from that in trying to reverse it from Howard and Tony. I also didn’t want to be used like Steve to fight and risk my life, but I guess risking my life was out of the question when I literally couldn’t die. I also never wanted to be some public symbol that was either idolized or constantly criticized. I had seen enough of that between Steve, Tony, and the news I had heard of Bruce Banner when he became the Hulk. Except even when I think about those fears, they felt silly because I had already gone under plenty of public scrutiny as Tony’s “niece” and knew that being with Steve wasn’t going to help anything once people outside of SHIELD knew about how he was back from the dead. 

All of my reasons felt ridiculous after putting perspective on them. I thought about how once Steve’s identity went public, which I had no doubt it would soon with everything going on, then my own identity would be impossible to hide. Tony was brilliant in eliminating every visual representation of me online and there were barely any in print to begin with. There was no way people could know for sure that I was the same person who was married to Steve before, but I’m sure it would be really strange that he was with someone so soon after waking up from the ice. At that point, my choices would be to hide our relationship or finally come clean, so it was pointless to be lying to Bruce or anyone else I met through SHIELD if I were to make the decision to tell the world who I was shortly after. Maybe this was a good trial run in telling the world the truth. I hadn’t decided then and there that I would tell everyone who I really was, I honestly too frightened still at the thought and I wanted to have a talk about it with Steve first, but I did decide that telling Bruce was okay. It was a good first step in what I was probably going to do sometime in the future. 

“Actually, I have a doctorate in Physics, but it’s been way too long that I am not nearly as knowledgeable as I used to be.” He looked up from his work and gave me a confused look. Clearly he was thinking about how I was much too young to already be forgetting a subject I had a PhD in. In fact, I knew I looked young enough to have just finished a PhD at the most. So I quickly went into clarifying, but I honestly had no idea where to start. “My name isn’t actually Jennifer O’Neill, it’s Madeline. I was born in 1918 as Madeline Bennett, married Steve in 1944 and became Madeline Rogers, became Doctor Madeline Rogers in 1956, and I “died’ in 1958.” I said it all in one breath and I had a feeling it truly didn’t make sense to Bruce.

He paused for a moment and I could see he was trying to process the words from a practical stranger. “Why are you telling me this, exactly?” he hesitated in asking.

“I don’t know, it’s definitely not something I use as a conversation starter with someone I just met. I guess I have just been thinking for a while now about no longer hiding who I really am, I mean so many people I didn’t plan on finding out did find out so it’s really a matter of time before the entire world knows. I think I like the idea of people hearing it from me first though instead of it getting out into the world and I become some terrible person in everyone’s eyes for all the secrets I kept.”

“Okay,” he said. “M-Madeline? Right, it’s Madeline?”

“Yes, but Maddi is okay.”

“Alright, Maddi, umm I guess I’m honored you decided to tell me this. I do have to say, I’m still pretty confused, did you actually die and come back? Or is this like a Captain America situation or-” 

“No no,” I jumped in. “I’ve been alive this whole time. Howard Stark faked my death back then, I’m sure you have no idea who I really am, I wasn’t that important.”

“No actually, I do remember reading about you.” he said and it made me a bit curious.

“Really? What do you already know?” I asked.

“Well I’ve read about you as Steve Roger’s wife, but also from your work with Howard Stark. I remember thinking it was a tragedy you died so young when you clearly had a brilliant mind.”

“Wow, okay. That’s actually kind of amazing. Well this is why I can help here in your lab but to an extent. Developments in science have gone far beyond what I learned, and the jobs I’ve had since then have nothing to do with it.”   
  


“That’s a shame, you seem to really enjoy it.”

“I do, but I really do love my job right now in Stark Industries as well. I’ve been able to run their charity division and that work has brought me a lot of joy too.” We then went on to discuss more of my life and how I had the ability to never age. He was fascinated by it all and I told him what I could, which honestly wasn’t much. He was empathetic in how it all made me feel. 

“I know what it feels like to have no idea what went wrong,” he told me as he thought back to his own failed attempts at recreating the serum. “I also know why you faked your own death. Being on the run, being hated for what I am now, it would be nice to be able to live a life without worrying about all of that.” At his words, I could truly see that he wanted to be here helping SHIELD less than I did. However, we were both here, we both chose to come out of hiding and help. I knew I had found a friend in Bruce. I also knew that the fear the public had in me couldn’t ever possibly be as bad as it was with him. I was lucky to still have control over myself at all times. His perspective was another motivator in telling more people the truth. 

After much more discussion and working together, we both saw a group of SHIELD members escorting Loki past the lab. He was staring at Bruce through the glass, smiling the entire way. “They caught him?” I asked with surprise in my voice. 

“I guess so, let’s go see what’s going on.” I nodded at him in agreement.

We walked into the main deck and I saw Steve in full Captain America uniform. “Did you go out? You found Loki and decided to go after him without even telling me you were leaving; you could have gotten hurt and I wouldn’t have even known until after! I told you to come find me if anything changed!” I told him as I started to feel panicked. 

“I know I know, I’m so sorry. I thought someone else had gone to get you, we were limited on time and I had to suit up. I promise that won’t happen again, I should have made sure myself that you knew what was going on.” He grabbed both my hands as I stood in front of him.

“Oh you definitely will make sure it will never happen again. You’re alright though, yes?”

“I am, Mads. I promise.” I nodded my head and turned towards the others in the room. I noticed a new man standing with long blond hair and a very strange outfit. “Oh, this is Thor,” Steve told me with hesitation. “Of Asgard?” he tried to guess and the man nodded. “It’s not from Earth, it’s where Loki is from actually.”

“I’m his brother, I’ve come to help.” he said with a smile.

“Oh,” was all I could make out. I was certainly not expecting someone from another planet to be joining us. “Well, hello Thor.” I held out my hand for him to shake and he took it. “I’m Maddi, it’s nice to meet you.” I saw Steve’s slight confusion on me giving my actual name as an introduction. “Bruce knows, let’s start fresh, it doesn’t matter, can we talk later about this actually?” I rambled through as I didn’t really know how to describe it. If we had a mythological man on our team, who truly cared at this point about my own immortality. 

Before anyone else could talk, live video of Loki in his cell with Fury was being played at the table in front of us. Natasha was already sitting and watching, Steve and I sat next to each other to join her. 

“He really grows on you, doesn’t he?” Bruce asked with a small chuckle and a shake of his head as the video feed cut out with Loki staring at the camera.

“Loki is going to drag this one out,” Steve said. “Thor, what’s his play?”

“He has an army called the Chitauri. They’re not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people, and they will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.

“An army?” Steve asked with raised eyebrows.

“From outer space,” I added as I couldn’t help but smile at the pure wonder of it all. Of course this all sounded very bad for us, but I was just learning about aliens from Asgard and now entire armies of aliens on top of that. 

They continued to discuss Loki’s behavior and plan as I continued to think about the world we were now living in when I suddenly realized that if I was having a hard time processing it all, I could only imagine Steve’s thoughts. I spared him a glance and he locked eyes with me. I took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze to make sure he was doing alright and he squeezed mine in return. I gave him a nod, let go and turned my head back to the conversation as I heard a familiar voice make its way into the room.

“It’s a stabilizing agent. It means the portal won’t collapse on itself like it did at SHIELD,” Tony said as he made his way towards the table. He spotted Thor first and said “no hard feelings, Point Break, you got a mean swing. Also it means the portal can stay open as wide and as long as Loki wants.” He started messing with the screens Fury uses while giving orders to the people on the ship who clearly didn’t have any plans to listen to him anytime soon.

“Come on Tony, you can’t say hello before you start taking charge of the entire operation?” I asked with a teasing smile. He quickly turned around at the sound of my voice and scanned the table, realizing I was there.

“You’re here? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here?” Tony questioned as he locked eyes with me. “Why did no one else tell me?” he asked the rest of the room. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in New York finishing up the tower?” I answered with eyes narrowed. 

“You know what, doesn’t matter. In fact, it’s great you’re here! I’ll have Jarvis get your suit to the Helicarrier within an hour.” He said casually as he walked around continuing to look at the screens of information in front of us.

“You built me a suit?! Tony!” I was lying to myself if I truly said I was surprised. It was something he had joked about in the past, but it was clear he actually built something for me to wear and fight in.

“You’ll love it,” he responded quickly. “Honestly, the best and most up to date model I have. Has every important feature mine do, but with less of the needed protection I have. You can wear your most comfortable clothes and just slip it on like a pair of shoes and gloves.”

“Tony you’re not making this sound any better,” I said as I shook my head trying to picture just exactly what he was describing. Despite it being true that I didn’t need all the protection of one of his entire suits, I didn’t like the sound of what he had apparently made. 

“Trust me, you’ll love it when you see it. Jen we really must catch up, but first let’s get back to the matter at hand.”

“Jen?” Thor questioned as he looked between us.

“I’m sorry,” I said with a hand up at Thor. “Tony, it’s fine. Maddi is fine, everyone here, just call me Maddi.” 

“Wow, we really do have a lot to catch up on,” Tony said as he looked at me with surprise. 

“Mmhmm,” I responded with a short nod trying to end the conversation. 

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?” Steve asked, thankfully trying to get us back on track.

“He’d have to heat the cube to 120 million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier,” Bruce said.

“Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect.” Tony said with confidence as he made his way over to Dr. Banner.

“Well if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet,” Bruce responded.

“Finally!” Tony said with joy. “Someone who speaks English.”

“Is that what just happened?” Steve questioned with pure confusion on his face. I gave him a sympathetic smile as Tony shook hands with Bruce and gave him admiration for his work and his ability to turn into the Hulk.

“Dr. Banner is here to only track the cube, I was hoping you would join him.” Fury said as he walked into the room.

“I’d start with that stick of his, it may be magical but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon,” Steve told all of us.

“I don’t know about that, but I do know that it is powered by the cube. And I’d like to know how it turned two of my sharpest men into two of his own personal flying monkeys,” Fury stated back.

“Monkeys? I do not understand,” Thor asked us.

“I do!” Steve interjected. “I-I understood that reference,” he clarified with a slight blush and I couldn’t help but give him a wide smile at his rather adorable statement. 

As I turned towards Tony and Burce, I could see Tony rolling his eyes at Steve and my smile was quickly replaced by one a bit more forced. “Shall we play, Doctor?” Tony asked Bruce.

“This way sir,” he replied. 

“Oh wonderful, I’ll come with you!” I declared as I jumped from my seat. “It’s great, we’ll all get to work together, have some of that catching up you asked for,” I said as they turned back to face me. “Can we talk later?” I asked Steve as I turned back towards him. He nodded. “And you’ll actually tell me personally yourself if anything changes this time?” I asked him again with a stern look and he nodded very quickly that time. “Thank you.”

As the three of us got resituated in the lab with the extra technology Tony brought us, we began our work again. “Alright Lucille Ball,” Tony said as he addressed me and I rolled my eyes. “We certainly have a lot to talk about, it’s been about six months since I last saw you?”

“Oh yeah, why don’t we start with why didn’t you tell me you were in New York? We could have cut down that six months for sure, I mean were you there every month? You told me Stark Tower was on hold.”

“Yeah about that,” he started with a slight grimace. “I think my experience with your Captain Romance back in Germany was enough for me to know I was right in wanting to delay that interaction as much as possible.” 

I sighed and said “Tony, that’s not at all how I wanted you two to meet.”

“Oh yes a nice cup of coffee and a trip through Central Park would have made me instantly want to be his best friend.” 

“Tony please, can just give it a chance, give him a chance. We are all under a lot of stress right now.”

“Also, what’s all of this about you going by Maddi now? Was this Steve’s idea? I don’t think he understands the environment of a public image in this century so-”

“No Tony, really?” I stopped him with an edge in my tone. “It was not his idea, it’s not really something I’ve entirely discussed my own thoughts with him yet anyway. It’s my own choice that I told Bruce who I actually am and Thor isn’t even from this planet! I wanted to be friendly with them in a truthful way if we were to be working together. On top of that, maybe it’s for the best that I just tell the whole world the truth. I mean we’re fighting aliens right now for heaven’s sake! Wouldn’t you rather have it be so that I don’t have to go into hiding, with another fake death I might add, within the next several years?!” 

“Of course I want that Maddi, I just don’t want you to do anything you don’t really want to do.”

“I know, and I’m giving this a lot of thought, Tony. I promise, I have been for some time now.”

He nodded his head and looked from me to Bruce, who was quietly working and trying to stay out of our conversation. “So you two are friends now, it’s great really, maybe you can help me get her back into her love for all things science.”

That got a laugh out of me and a small chuckle from Bruce as well. “That’s a conversation for another time. For now, let’s just focus on the scepter and the Tesseract. I can feel this is going to be a long sleepless night for all of us,” I told them both and guided us to getting back to work. Time was clearly crucial in stopping Loki from attacking our planet with this army from outer space, so rest was not an option at this point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do enjoy writing nonsense science, but I will try to keep it to a minimum and focus on Maddi and her story within it all. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Your opinions/predictions/wishes all play into my writing as I want to make this the best it can be! Thank you so much to people who still read and enjoy this story, and thank you to new people reading and following as well! Don’t give up on me, I may be slow in updates sometimes, but I promise that I haven’t given up on this story!


	7. Chapter 7

**(So in the movie they work all night and day without any sleep. I’m just going to say it’s the next day, probably very early in the morning and still dark out, when this first scene started.)**

* * *

May 4, 2012

“Hey! Are you nuts?” I heard Steve snap at Tony as he walked through the door right after Tony had zapped Bruce. 

“Jury’s out,” Tony responded and I rolled my eyes. 

“Tony come on, leave him alone,” I told him referring to Burce. 

“You really do have a lid on it don’t you? What’s your secret? Mellow jazz, bongo drums, hug bag of weed?” Tony asked.

“Is everything a joke to you?” Steve snapped.

“Funny things are.” Tony replied.

“Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn’t funny,” Steve responded. “No offense, Doc.” 

“It’s alright, I wouldn’t have come aboard if I couldn’t have handled pointy things,” Bruce said. 

“You’re tip-toeing big man, you need to strut.” Tony walked over to where I was sitting as I stood up from my own stool and my work.

“And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark,” Steve said and I could see how tense he was becoming over Tony’s behavior. It was something I was used to after knowing him his entire life. His humor and light approach to everything didn’t mean a lack of caring, but it was definitely not clear to people who didn’t really know him. All the times I thought about Steve meeting him, I knew he would have a hard time handling it.

“Do you think I’m not?” Tony asked. He took a moment to glance at me before continuing “Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn’t he telling us? I can’t do the equation unless I have all the variables.”

“You know Tony, I still don’t get why you came at all,” I said before Steve could say anything himself. “What happened to not wanting to be a part of Fury’s super secret boy band?” I asked with a smirk.

“And what happened to you literally wanting nothing to do with SHIELD?” He backfired.

“Good point, I think your questions are right about in line with why I was very hesitant in coming here.”

“You think Fury’s hiding something?” Steve asked in disbelief. 

“He’s a spy. Captain, he’s ‘the’ spy,” Tony responded. “His secrets have secrets.”

Steve looked at me and I shrugged. “Steve, I don’t trust Fury. He knew about me for years before I met him, he didn’t tell either of us about each other for weeks and when he told me, it wasn’t because he wanted to see us happy together. Everything he does has an ulterior motive.”

“Thank you! It’s bugging him too, isn’t it?” Tony gestured to Bruce.

We all looked at him and Bruce struggled to speak at that. “Uh, I just want to finish my work here.”

“Doctor?” Steve interrupted him.

“A warm light for all mankind, Loki’s jab at Fury about the cube,” Bruce started with a sigh.

“I heard it,” Steve said.

“Well I think that was meant for you,” he continued with a nod to Tony.

“Even if Barton didn’t tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news when it was announced.”

“The Stark Tower?” Steve asked with raised eyebrows. “That big ugly,” he started but then Tony gave him a look and he paused before finishing “building in New York?”

“Hey your girlfriend helped design that tower in its early stages so be careful there,” Tony said with his eyes narrowed. 

“Really?” Steve asked me.

“I know your disdain for modern architecture,” I said with a chuckle. “Yes I was helping, and then I came to New York.” Steve looked even more nervous about his words knowing he had also insulted my work. However, I honestly didn’t take offense. Like I had said, I knew his taste was certainly not Stark Tower. Still, I took the opportunity to tease him a little “Next time I take on a role of any kind of visual design, I’ll be sure to consult a true artist like yourself in order to not embarrass myself.” I gave him a wink with my words and I heard Tony groan.

“You two are truly unbearable. Anyway, it’s powered by an arc reactor, a self sustaining energy source.” Tony said.

“That building will run itself for a year?” Bruce asked.

“And that’s just a prototype,” I jumped in with a little excitement. That building was the future of energy and slowing climate change.

“I’m kind of the only name in clean energy right now,” Tony clarified for Steve. “That’s what he’s getting at.”

“So why didn’t SHIELD bring him in on the Tesseract project?” Bruce questioned. “What are they doing in the energy business in the first place?”

“I should probably look into that as soon as JARVIS is done breaking into all of SHIELD’s secure files.”

“Tony! You did not,” I said in disbelief. 

“It’s been running since I hit the bridge. In a few hours I’ll know every little dirty secret SHIELD has tried to hide. Blueberry?” He held out his bag of snacks for Steve as they were now standing directly in front of each other.

“And you wonder why they didn’t want you around,” Steve said.

“An intelligence organization that fears intelligence. Historically, not awesome,” Tony stated and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I think Loki is trying to wind us up,” Steve tried to reason. “This is a man who means to start a war and if we don’t stay focused, he will succeed. We have orders, we should follow them.”

“Following’s not really my style,” Tony responded before pointing to me. “It’s not hers either!”

“And you’re all about style, aren’t you?” Steve asked, ignoring Tony’s call at me despite it not being entirely inaccurate. I didn’t deliberately disobey others, but I wasn’t about to blindly follow anyone either. 

“Of the people in this room, which one is A, wearing a spangly outfit, and B, not of use?”

“Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?” Bruce thankfully interrupted as their conversation was starting to develop more into an argument.

Steve looked at him and then back at Tony. “Just find the cube.” he walked out without another word.

Before I could go after him, Tony asked “That’s the guy my dad never shut up about? That’s the man  _ you _ have spent your entire life in love with?” he added in my direction before saying to Bruce. “I’m wondering if they should have kept him in the ice, huh?” However his smile was immediately gone as he saw the look on my face.

“Really?” I stared him down like a mother scolding her child after he was caught doing something he knew he was supposed to be doing. Tony had a look that showed he knew he probably went too far with his jokes. It was a feeling I knew he really only ever got from his actual mother, Pepper, and me. “We definitely have more to talk about when I get back.” I quickly ran out the door before he could respond, and looked down the hall in both directions to see Steve turn the corner quickly at the end to my right. I swiftly made my way towards him and called out as I got closer. “Hey,” I said and he turned around when he heard my voice.

“Oh hey,” he said. 

“You came and left without barely saying a word to me back there,” I reached out for his hand and he sighed as he took it.

“Yeah sorry, I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“I know, we all do.” I reminded him. “Look, about Tony, you really can’t take everything he says too seriously. I know it’s hard to tell sometimes, but he cares a lot. I think he’s just on edge like the rest of us.”

“Really?” Steve scoffed. “His attitude surely makes him seem like he’s on a vacation right now or something.”

“I know that you two are very different, but you know he means a lot to me. Please just try to be a little nicer to him-”

“You should be telling him this,” he cut me off.

“I will be,” I replied with a little more annoyance. “I need you  _ both _ to be trying much more than you are. The two of you may seem very different, yes, but you are also both the two most important people in my life. Steve, he’s my godson. I helped raise him, hell, I practically did it almost all myself.”

“Well you clearly didn’t do a very good job,” he said with a frown.

“Are you kidding me right now?” I snapped at him in anger. “You don’t know anything about him. You don’t know what he’s been through, you we never there. I don’t know if this is you being jealous or something, but you need to figure it out and get a handle on it. You have this image of Tony that you’re only trying to reinforce with every interaction you have with him, but it is not the entirety of who Tony is. Get back to me when you want to handle this situation like an adult please.” Without another word, I turned around and left back to the lab.

As I entered the lab, I made eye contact with Tony and asked him if I could talk to him outside. “Maybe having a witness is a good idea, I feel much more comfortable with Bruce here honestly-”

“Tony,” I cut him off sharply. “Outside, now.”

“Yup, alright.” he quickly put down his work and walked out the door and I followed him. There was nobody currently in the hallway, so I chose there to talk to him. 

“Obviously I didn’t want you to meet Steve in such a high stress environment. However, that is no excuse for the way either of you have been acting. Tony, please, I’m begging you. Don’t look at him as the man who was friends with your father.”

“And how am I supposed to do that huh? The guy clearly hates me too.”

“He doesn’t,” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair partially trying to convince myself of my statement as well. “I love him, Tony. I’ve always loved him, you know that. You are both my family, I can’t spend the rest of my life-” I paused and shook my head in realization before correcting myself. “The rest of your lives,” and his eyes softened at my words at my implications of me still being cursed with living forever. “Intervening in your arguing. Just please, for me, try.”

He sighed and looked down before giving a quick nod. “Okay, you got me. I will try for you because I am honestly glad that he makes you happy. If he can play nice, so can I.”

“Thank you Tony,” I didn’t mention that Steve and I had just fought over the situation, I didn’t want to make things worse. I knew Steve and I would have to be able to talk through it soon, there really was no option to just ignore it.

Tony, Bruce, and I continued to work as the sun began to rise when Fury walked some time later. “What are you doing, Mr. Stark?” He asked.

“Uh, kinda been wondering the same thing about you,” Tony replied as he casually sat on the lab table.

“You’re supposed to be locating the Tesseract.”

“We are,” I told him.

“The model’s locked and we’re sweeping for the signature right now,” Bruce added. “When we get a hit, we will have the location within half a mile.”

“Yeah then you get your cube back, no muss, no fuss,” Tony said. Just then, the screen in front of him lit up red with the words ‘Phase 2’ displayed. “What is phase two?” he looked at Fury with his question.

Before he had any chance to answer, we heard a loud band as a weapon was thrown down on the table away from us by Steve. We all looked at him in confusion by his sudden entrance as he states with anger in his voice “Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons. Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract, this doesn’t mean that we’re making-” Fury tried to explain but Tony interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” he sarcastically asked as he turned his screen towards him displaying the exact narrative Steve described.

“I was wrong Director, the world hasn’t changed,” Steve said bitterly 

“Secrets, secrets, secrets,” I said with a laugh. “Glad to know SHIELD is exactly what I imagined.”

“You really want to talk about secrets,  _ ‘Miss O’Neil’ _ ? And if I remember correctly, Dr. Rogers was one of the people who helped shape SHIELD from the beginning.” Fury looked in my direction as he replied.

“I’m sorry, well then maybe I was hoping for a bit more courtesy shown to tell the truth to one of the founders.”

The door slid open to the lab and Natasha filed in, Thor right behind her. Bruce confronted her on her own knowledge about the weapons being made and she argued back.

“I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction,” Bruce finally stated with annoyance.

“Because of him.” Fury replied, pointing an accusing finger at Thor and the room fell silent.

“Me?” The god asked, looking astounded.

Fury paced the room as he answered. “Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge mass that levelled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, out gunned.” When I helped Peggy and Howard form SHIELD, it was an organization dedicated to protecting people. I was no stranger to the idea that weapons could keep people safe, but I also knew how dangerous they could be in the wrong hands. Stark Industry had to learn the hard way that keeping weapons out of the wrong hands was a near impossible task. I looked at Steve in worry because this was not what I wanted him to think I made SHIELD to be. While I wasn’t as involved as our friends from the 40s, I was a part of it and I didn’t want him to feel any betrayal in this way. 

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.” Thor pointed out.

“But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, that can't be controlled.” He glanced at Bruce, and I narrowed my eyes. This type of thinking was exactly why I was always too nervous to go public with my true identity. Bruce wore his abilities on his sleeve, he didn’t have the option to keep it a secret to protect himself. 

'Like you controlled the cube?' Steve asked.

“Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.” Thor explained.

“A higher form?” I whispered to myself in shock. War alone was terrible, I lived through enough of it to know that very well, but I couldn’t imagine the types of wars with other worlds would bring. Literally the previous morning I didn’t even know an army of aliens was possible.

Fury countered his argument, “You forced our hand. We had to come up with something.”

“A nuclear deterrent” Tony cut in. ''Cause that always calms everything right down.”

'Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?' Fury snapped. 

Steve stepped forward. “I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-” 

Tony interrupted again, “Wait! Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?”

“I'm sorry, isn't everything?” Steve said.

“Look stop acting like you’re some saint here,” Tony expressed in frustration. “You seemed to be completely fine with the work my father and your wife did 70 years ago. And you know who shut down the weapons division? Not them. Me.”

“I’m sure that got you a lot of great press didn’t it?” Steve edged on.

“No it was all pretty bad press actually,” I finally inserted myself into their fighting. “Steve, I’m begging you, again, to stop talking about things you don’t understand.” 

He shook his head at me and scoffed. “Is this going to be the rest of our lives? You always picking his side?”

“PIcking his side? I’m not on anyone’s side here. I just want both of you to understand that you don’t really know each other. You are fighting each other when you’re on the same side. You care about the same things, please see past the surface of your preconceived ideas of each other.” As we had our argument, the rest of the people in the room all seemed to have their own little arguments as well. There was no clear end to the disagreements.

“You speak of control yet you cause chaos,” Thor pointed out to Fury for all of us.

Bruce replied “That’s his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time-bomb.” 

“You need to step away.” Fury said with concern.

“Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?” Tony asked, clapping a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve shoved the hand off him “You know damn well why! Back off!”

“Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.” Tony said, taking a step closer to Steve. I stepped away from them at a complete loss at what to do. They weren’t listening to anything I said, and I didn’t know how to get past their egos to do so.

“Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Steve asked.

Tony immediately replied with, “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” Steve said and I knew once again this was all his own perception of Tony. I saw the anger in Tony at his words, the implications in Steve’s statement did not sit well with him. Tony had some selfish behaviors, but I knew him better than anyone else did, he would do anything to protect the people he loved. 

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

Steve scoffed and shook his head. “Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

“A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Tony!” I cried while looking down with my hand on my head. I looked back up at the two of them. “Why won’t either of you listen to me?” 

Thor chuckled. “You people are so petty…and tiny.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Yeah, this is a team.”

Fury turned to Natasha, “Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his-”

“Where? You rented my room.” Bruce gestured in the direction of the cage, where Loki was placed.

“The cell was just-” Fury began to explain.

“In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know, I tried.” The room went dead silent and I turned to Bruce. I could see the pain in his eyes, and I could almost see myself from decades before. “I got low, I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

I tensed as I saw he had picked up the scepter as he spoke in anger. Steve stuck out a hand and gently pushed me behind him. “Doctor Banner,” Steve said and Bruce swung his head around to look in our direction, his eyes a little crazed. “Put down the scepter.”

The computer began to beep loudly, and Bruce put the scepter down on the table. He sighed before walking over to the computer to get the location on the Tesseract. “Sorry kids, guess you don't get to see my party trick after all.”

“You located the Tesseract?” Thor asked quickly.

“I can get there faster.” Tony stated.

“'The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, no human is a match for it.” Thor said, and I nodded in agreement.

“He’s right, I don’t feel comfortable with that thing being on Earth any longer.” I had enough of the trouble it caused us since the 1940s. 

Tony nodded and went to leave the room but Steve stopped him. “You're not going alone,” he stated.

“You gonna stop me?” Tony scoffed with sarcasm.

“Put on the suit, let's find out,” Steve challenged.

“I'm not afraid to hit an old man.” Tony got close to Steve's face.

“Put on the suit.” As I took a step forward once again to get in the middle of their fight, I couldn’t even get a word out before an explosion went off in the room. 

* * *

  
  


**A/N: okay so I really have no idea how to incorporate actual scenes from a movie into my writing. It is really hard, I don’t want to leave out important aspects of the actual movie, but I also hate having it be nothing but a direct transcript of the dialogue. I hope I did alright inserting Maddi appropriately, and I hope it flowed as nicely as possible. I tried to add extra of my own storyline in there as much as I could. Let me know what you thought and if you have any suggestions on how to make it better, I am open to anything. Thanks for still reading after all this time! I know I’ve dropped the ball a little on updates in the last year, but I refuse to give up on this story. Even when I go back and cringe at my earlier plotlines (I hope I’ve gotten at least better than some of the extreme cliches I used to focus on), I don’t want to get rid of this story because I’ve put so much work into it and I really do have a plan set until the very end of Endgame. Thank you for the new follows and favorites as well!**


	8. Chapter 8

May 4, 2012 (STEVE’S POV)

As I flew to the ground after the explosion in the room, I covered my face to help break my landing. I quickly looked around me to find Maddi, and I saw her sitting up next to me as she coughed from the smoke. After seeing that she was also mostly unharmed, I turned my head to Stark as he looked wide eyed around the room. “Put on the suit,” I frantically told him. This time, it was not to challenge, but to help with the damage that was brought our way.

“Yeah,” he quickly agreed as we both stood up and helped Maddi to her feet with us. 

“Maddi, are you alright,” I started to ask her and she nodded her head as we quickly made our way out of the destroyed lab. 

“I, I can’t help you guys,” she squinted in thought and shook her head. “You go, get your suit, I’ll find some way to help somewhere.” She looked extremely frazzled but I could tell that she was okay, she just needed time to recollect herself. 

“You sure?” I stopped and gave her my full attention. Stark stopped with us as she nodded. 

“Yes go, please.”

“Take this and put it on,” Stark handed her a small earpiece similar to our own. “You need anything, you tell me immediately.” She nodded in response and looked back at me. I gave her a fast kiss, and I was glad she returned it even though we had been fighting earlier. She needed to know that I loved her in case anything serious happened to us due to this explosion. I ran with Stark to get his suit as he was told that the third engine was down. We agreed to meet there as he suited up in his Iron Man armor. There were a lot of dangerous exposed wires and falling debris on my way there but I was able to avoid it as best I could. As I finally made it to the door to the correct engine, I opened it to see a destroyed engine room open to the air outside. It was loud and the winds were strong all around.

“Stark,” I yelled out, hoping he was already outside. “Stark, I’m here!”

He came flying around in his suit and responded “good, let’s see what we’ve got.” He assessed the damages of the engine before turning to me. “Rogers, I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position,” he told me pointing to the panel above me.

“Got it,” I nodded and jumped up to grab the bar and swing myself into the correct level. Opened it up and knew immediately I was way out of my league with all the bright lines, wires, and boxes flashing at me. 

“What’s it look like in there?” I heard Tony ask and I couldn’t even begin to help him out with what was going on with this control system.

“It seems to run on some form of electricity,” I replied sarcastically as I felt frustrated at my inability to help in this situation.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Tony responded. I could hear him give a sigh before continuing. “Maddi, are you there? Can you get out here and help your technologically inept boyfriend?”

“Yes I’m here,” I could hear the amusement in her voice as it came through the speaker in my ear. “I’m on my way but I can’t guarantee I’ll know what’s going on either.”

“Sure, but at least I’ll be able to talk you through it with a little more ease,” Tony said. 

“Second floor of the control room, Mads,” I told her. Soon Maddi was walking through the hole in the wall next to me and she smiled to let me know that she was doing better. She told Tony she was looking at the panel and he began to tell her the steps to figure out what was going on and how to fix what could be fixed from her end. She struggled to understand it all, but she was quick to ask questions and have him repeat things in simpler terms for her. It seemed like she had successfully helped when she stood up straight and looked back at me.

“Alright Tony, the relays are intact,” she spoke up and I just gave her an impressed smile. 

“What’s our next move?” I asked him as Maddi pushed the panel back in its slot.

“Even if I clear the rotors, this thing won’t reengage without a jump. I’m gonna have to get in there and push,” he explained.

Maddi and I shared the same look of concern. “If that thing get’s up to speed, you’ll get shredded,” I replied.

“That stator control unit can reverse the polarity long enough to disengage maglev and that could-”

“Speak English,” I cut him off quickly as I hadn’t understood a single word he had said to me. 

“You see that red lever?” He asked and Maddi and I looked around and we spotted one across a large gap in the floor. “It will slow the rotors down long enough for me to get out. Stand by it, wait for my word.” I took a few steps back to get a start on the jump and then leaped across to the other side next to the lever.

“You scare me when you do things like that!” Maddi yelled at me and I just chuckled. She stayed where she was, with no way to get to where I stood by the lever. As we waited for Tony to clear the debris, Maddi asked me “do you need my help anymore? They’re short on medics here and I know I don’t know much, but I can hold gauze to help stop people bleeding or something other than just waiting here.”

“Yeah that’s fine, Mads. Please stay safe alright?” I told her and she nodded. Before she could begin to leave though saw two men approach from the corner of my eye. I squinted at them, not sure if they were there to help or if they were part of the enemy. I soon realized it was the latter when one of them pulled the pin on a grenade. I acted fast as I jumped to hit the grenade in another direction. It exploded in the air away from the engine and I saw Maddi duck in reaction to the explosion. I was able to fight against the first man and then throw off the second in order to get back to the lever and grab the gun that had been flung there in the fight. Before I could shoot at the attacker, He switched aim and shot several times at Maddi. She was unable to react quick enough. 

“No!” I yelled as she went down on the ground with multiple shots through her abdomen. I knew she could heal herself quickly, but that was probably worse than any other wounds she had ever received. I couldn’t get to her to make sure she was okay as the man continued to shoot at me. More men showed up behind him and I was able to take a few out. I stepped back and slipped on the torn up floor. I went flying back out of the Helicarrier and grabbed a loose wire just in time. I hung on as tightly as possible as the motion of our falling caused me to move all around with no way of getting back on the ledge without climbing my way up the wire.

I could barely think straight as I worried the wire could break and I would go flying to the ground. I worried about Maddi who could still be in pain on the ground from the multiple gunshots, and the possibility of her immortality powers finally getting outmatched weighed over me until I could see with my own eyes that she was healing. 

“Cap, hit the lever,” I heard Tony say from the engines. I continued to try and pull myself up by the wire as the intense wind made it near impossible.

“I need a minute here!” I responded as I was almost to the top. 

“Lever,” he repeated in distress. “Now!” As soon as I made it back on the ledge, I crawled my way to the lever as the man below continued to shoot at me. The angle of me being on the ground made it more difficult for him to hit me, and I was finally able to pull down the lever. As The man still shot at me, Tony finally was able to fly through and take him down.

As soon as I saw the area was secure, I climbed down and across to where Maddi was. As I made it to her she had her hands over her stomach and chest and her eyes were squeezed shut in pain. It had been several minutes since she was shot and she was still in pain, which worried me beyond belief. “Maddi,” I said as I knelt beside her. “Can you hear me?” 

“Mmhmm,” she said softly before letting out a long slow breath, releasing some of the tension on her face. As her hands couldn’t cover all of it, I could see some of the holes in her shirt from the bullets, as well as the blood that stained it. 

“What can I do? How can I help? Should I get a medical team here?” I asked her frantically trying to find a way to make her okay. 

She shook her head before replying, “no.” she opened her eyes and looked directly at me. She lifted one of her hands and I took hold of it immediately. It was wet from the blood but I didn’t care, I just squeezed it as she gave me a small smile. “I can feel myself getting better. Just a couple more minutes, I’m sure.”

“What the hell happened?” Tony said in a panic as he got closer to us and saw Maddi in the state she was in. 

“The guy you took out did this,” I told him.

“Is she gonna be alright?” he asked me. “Are you going to be alright?” he then asked her.

“I’m okay, Tony. I promise.” She put her hand not in mine on the ground and tried to push her up in a sitting position. She winced as her abdomen still wasn’t completely healed and I quickly put my free hand behind her back to help her. She leaned against my chest and shoulder for support. Once she was situated, she lifted her shirt slightly to show the last of her wounds finally closing up completely. “I’ve been shot before, but never like that. These things take time for my body to process and learn how to heal. I’m okay now.”

Tony still gave her a look of worry and disbelief before sighing and looking up in distress. “How many holes are in your shirt?” 

“Tony it doesn’t ma-” Maddi tried to reason as she put her hand back on her stomach but I cut her off.

“How many, Maddi?” I asked and she turned her head towards me. 

“Well let’s count shall we?” she said with a slight edge in her tone. She quickly looked down at her shirt and counted before looking back up. “Twelve. I found twelve holes. Does that make either of you feel any better? Because it doesn’t make me feel better. The point is, I’m okay now. Can we please go make sure everyone else who doesn’t have magical healing powers is also alright, and then I can go wash up and find some new clothes to wear?”

“Yeah,” I gave in with a nod. “Come on.” I helped her up and if she was still in any pain, she hid it perfectly. I hoped that everything inside looked as healed as on the outside. 

As we began heading back towards the main deck, we all heard Fury through our earpiece saying “Agent Coulson is down.” The three of us froze at the news. He seemed like a very good man, and certainly not someone who deserved such a fate. Without any words said between us, we made our way back to our rooms to wash up and change. Maddi and I were together, but still remained silent the entire time. Once ready, we then went to the table to meet Fury. Tony was the only other person there when we arrived.

“These were in Phil Coulson's jacket. I guess he never did get you to sign them,” Fury said as he threw a pile of Captain America trading cards on the table in front of us. I picked one up with a frown as they all had blood splattered on them. “We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, the location of the Cube, Banner, Thor. I got nothing for you. I lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming.” He continued. “Yes. We were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number, though, because I was playing something even riskier.” I set the card back down and Maddi took hold of my hand. Tony wasn’t looking at any of us as he kept his eyes on his own hands in his lap. “There was an idea, Stark and Madeline know this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died, still believing in that idea. In heroes.” Tony stood up suddenly and walked out of the room. Maddi seemed to hesitate to go after him, but still remained in her seat. “Well, it's an old-fashioned notion.”

Eventually Fury also left the room and I turned to see Maddi deep in thought. “I should go, go find Tony,” she stated softly. “I need to make sure he’s alright.”

I put my other hand on top of her’s and told her “Let me. I’ll talk to him.” I could tell she was very worried about him, and I wanted to prove to her I could do this. She gave me a look of doubt at my offer. “I know, I know. I haven’t really given you reason today to trust me on this, but please. I know how much he means to you, let me do this.” She hesitated before nodding in response.

“Okay,” she said. “I’m gonna just… I’m gonna just wait here for a bit. I just need a moment.”

“Of course,” I told her. I leaned in and we kissed briefly before pulling away. “I love you, Maddi.” 

“I love you too,” she whispered back. I got up and went searching for Tony. Soon enough, I found him in the room that held Loki, it was also the room we were told Coulson died before the chamber dropped to Earth with Thor in it. 

“Was he married?” I asked to start the conversation.

“No. There was a cellist. I think,” He said without looking away from the trap door in the ground.

“I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man.”

Tony huffed before saying “he was an idiot.”

“Why? For believing?” I questioned him with conviction in my tone.

“For taking on Loki alone.” He started making his way towards me as he spoke.

“He was doing his job,” I reminded him with my arms still crossed over my chest.

“He was out of his league,” He said with a scoff. “He should have waited. He should have…” he looked down and shook his head. I made my way over to him to meet him halfway.

“Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony.” I tried to make him understand.

“Right, I've heard that before.”

“Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?” I asked as he walked past me and it made him show more emotion than indifference. He quickly turned around and his face was angry at my words.

“We are not soldiers!” He snapped. He stared me down and I did the same at him. His eyes flickered around a bit before continuing. “Maddi, she’s not a soldier.” He took a shaky breath. “Twelve times. How can you be so damn calm when she was shot twelve times?”

My eyes softened and I took a second before replying. “I’m not calm, not on the inside and definitely when it happened. I knew it was a lot before I could even go over to make sure she was okay. The entire time she never sat up, I couldn’t help but think that was it. Her immortal magic had its limits and the rapid fire to her chest was it. And I couldn’t even get to her to help because the same man that did that was still shooting at me.”

“I shouldn’t have asked her to come outside to help. I should have made her a full suit like mine, she was in so much pain. It doesn’t matter that she heals, how could I design something that would let her still feel all that pain?” As he spoke, I could finally see what Maddi was trying to get me to see the entire time. Tony had a selfish behavior that did everything for show and attention, but I finally got to see him care about something real. He clearly loved Maddi, and was just as scared for her as I was. 

“You know, we haven’t really been seeing eye to eye since we met,” I began.

“Ha, you got that right,” he interjected sarcastically. 

“But there’s one thing we can both agree on, and that’s the importance of keeping Maddi safe. I love her just as much as you do, and we gotta show her that by doing a better job at this.” I gestured between us at my last statement. I was out of line when I criticized her for Tony’s behavior earlier, I knew I needed to make things right with her and Tony. 

He looked at me with sad eyes and nodded slightly. “She’s the only family I have, and I feel like I’m losing her to you. This is the first time I’ve seen her in months.”

I chuckled a little at the irony of his words and how I felt. “Honestly, I fear losing to you almost everyday. She’s my only family too. The fact that she was still here, still young, after I was in the ice for 70 years… that’s something I have thanked God for everyday. I hate the pain she’s had to endure because of it, but I am grateful to have her with me. And even though I worry she’s never going to talk to me again because we can’t get along and she’ll pick you, I am still grateful she has you. We wanted children, a family, and I couldn’t give that to her. I’m glad she had you, I think it’s the only reason she is here today, still the person I fell in love with in the 30s. So we do everything we can together to stop Loki, to keep people safe, including Maddi.” 

“I agree, but I am not marching to Fury's fife.”

“Neither am I. He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. But right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done.” I began to think of how to tactfully approach locating Loki and said “now Loki needs a power source, if we can put together a list-”

“He made it personal,” Tony cut me off.

“That's not the point,” I tried to reason.

“That is the point. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live. Why?”

“To tear us apart.”

“Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That’s what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience,” Tony got animated as he said his thoughts out loud.

“Right. I caught his act at Stuttgart,” I tried to follow his thinking process.

“Yeah, that was just the previews. This is opening night. And Loki, he's a full tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered…” He paused and I raised an eyebrow at him to continue. “Son of a bitch.” he quickly went to leave the room without saying another word.

“Hey, you know where he is?” I asked him as I chased behind. 

“Yeah come on, we gotta find Maddi.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


May 4, 2012 (same day, back to Maddi’s POV)

“Wow are you a SHEILD agent now? A secret spy?” Tony joked as I walked into the room that held his suit. I was wearing navy blue SHIELD attire similar to Maria Hill’s. I changed into it when Steve had told me we were leaving the helicarrier soon, and without telling Fury about it. 

“Well I figured it was more durable than jeans and a shirt. Especially since your idea of a suit for me doesn’t actually sound like one at all.” I knew it was important for me to help in this fight, but I was actually really scared inside about it. Of course I have had plenty of proof that I don’t need to fear for my life, but I just fear the pain that I had to go through already.

He put his hands up in defense before walking towards the case in the corner of the room. “Alright Kim Possible, you’re right on that one,” he responded and I rolled my eyes at him. 

“Look this doesn’t mean I’m in support of SHIELD, I still don’t like how they’ve handled everything that has come to light over these few years of interacting with them. Besides, I stole it from their supply.”

“Don’t worry, I already have JARVIS working on an actual suit for you. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really understand the pain you still go through even though you heal so quickly until seeing you today. It’ll be similar to what you’re wearing now, but bullet proof. It won’t be ready for this battle but maybe the next?” He looked apologetic over not having something for me now, but I was appreciative that he was thinking about it. 

“I don’t want there to be a next,” I told him.

“Nobody does, but we have each other’s back, right?”

I gave him a smile and nodded. “Right.” I took a deep breath and said “okay, let’s see what you do have then.”

“Right, it’s all here. So basically I gave you the flight and defensive abilities and a JARVIS of your own to have any information necessary right in front of your eyes. It’s easy to maneuver, to put on, and to develop. You won’t have to worry about helmet hair and you can also do everything I can do in my suit.” He opened the chest to reveal the bright red color of the material he had made for me. 

“Gloves and boots, you really weren’t kidding.” I shook my head in disbelief as I reached my hand out to touch the material. It was thin and looked like it would be light to wear, but it was all metal. The gloves shaped the fingers much better than in Tony’s own suit. It looked like it was simply a pair of cloth gloves until you felt the material.

“And the super special iron goggles.” He joked to try and make me feel better. With a sigh he looked down and continued “don’t get me wrong, I want you to be as protected as possible. I just also think it’s time you get all the credit you deserve, your healing powers are amazing. It’s time people know who Madeline is, not Jennifer.” I took a deep breath and let it out at his words. He was right, if I were to do this in a suit like Tony’s, nobody would know who I was. I could still decide to do that, but this would then be the final step to force me to tell the truth to everyone who I am. 

“You’re right.” I gave him a look that I hoped showed confidence and he gave me a smile in return. I looked back at the gloves and boots and then realized something I hadn’t initially. “Tony, why did you make these red?” 

“I thought it could be your signature color, given your red hair, it’ll give you that superhero edge.”

“You realize that this mixed with my now navy blue suit, I look more like I’m using Steve’s signature USA colors?”

“Oh dammit,” he replied as he looked at the entirety of it all together. “Well why did you have to go and do that?”

“I’m sorry Tony, but it’s definitely too late now,” I said with a laugh. It honestly didn’t bother me, I thought it was rather funny. “I’m putting these on, you get yours on too. I need to meet Steve to get on the jet we’re taking to the city.”

“Oh no don’t worry about that. You’re getting to the city the way I am.”

“Excuse me, you want me to fly to New York City with you? Absolutely not.”

“You have to practice, and it’s not like we have the time to do a training session. Besides, you really don’t have to put much work into it, I’ve made the programming really efficient.” I gave him a concerned look of doubt. “Alright suit up, we don’t have all day!” He went to put on his own suit and I didn’t even bother arguing. I was worried about how completely out of my league I was. Saving the world was Steve’s and Tony’s job, I had no idea how to do any of this. I pulled my hair back and began to put on the boots. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I get so nervous when writing in Steve's POV, but I also really enjoy it. I hope you liked this chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially about the Steve and Tony interaction. How their relationship develops because of their love for Maddi is something that I am excited to write about, but I want to know what you think because I also don't want to screw it up. The hero in Maddi will soon be revealed to the world! Any guesses of what her superhero name might be?


	9. Chapter 9

May 4, 2012

The technology in what Tony gave me was far beyond anything I could understand. All I knew is that I was having a much easier time controlling the flight than I expected. However, that was definitely because I wasn’t the one doing the work. “Maddi, I’m turning off my own controls on your suit and turning on yours,” Tony’s voice spoke in my earpiece as he flew in his own suit next to me.

“Wait, no no no, I don’t think I can do this myself.” 

“Trust me, you’ll be okay. And you won’t be alone either,” he replied. Soon the eyewear he gave me activated and began to analyze my surroundings. Before they were turned on completely, they were clear with red rims to still be able to see my eyes. Tony said he made them with the feature to go dark for easier use of the features he put in them, or remain clear so people could still see my eyes. He said it made me look less intimidating, but that he recommended the darker shades because I needed that intimidation factor for our fight. 

_ “Hello Maddi, my name is ANASTASIA. Tony created me to help you navigate your time in your superhero clothes. I have current control of your flight and I can activate anything you need when you need it, just as JARVIS does for Tony.” _ I heard a female voice in my ear and let out a laugh. 

“Okay ANASTASIA, thank you. Now if I know Tony, and I do, I’m guessing that your name was chosen for a reason?”

_ “You would be correct. We both know Tony loves his nicknames and acronyms. My name stands for After Never Agreeing, She Took A Suit I Assembled!” _ I rolled my eyes at her answer and then spoke to Tony.

“Well Tony, I’m not sure how many creativity points you get for this one.”

“Come on, it just goes to show that I knew you would one day be flying next to me in something I made,” he responded. 

“The only reason I’ve agreed is because we’re flying to a potential army of aliens in New York.” I just heard him laugh instead of answer and I shook my head. “ANASTASIA, can I call you ANA? I think a little defiance against Tony’s smugness is called for in this case. Also, can you set my eyewear to transparent when talking directly with people and shaded when fighting? I think that’ll make it easier to help any bystanders without scaring them more.”

_ “Of course, I think that would be a perfect shortening of my name. And don’t worry Maddi, it’ll look like you’re simply wearing glasses when interacting with the public.” _ As we made it to the city, Tony and I stopped and turned towards each other. 

“I’ll fly over to the tower, you find the jet with the rest of the team. You need to practice a bit more over your controls so that you’re ready for a fight if we need one.” I nodded in agreement and we flew off in different directions. I eventually was able to find the jet with Steve on it and then flew next them as it made its way to Manhattan. I was able to get better acquainted with the range and limitations of the gloves, boots, and enhanced eyeglasses. Tony had done a good job making them easy to understand and use. By the time we arrived, there was already an open portal in the sky that was raining in a mass of alien ships. We informed Tony of our arrival and began to fight with what we could. I flew towards him to help with blasting at the aliens on his tail while our jet went towards the tower to find Loki. 

Eventually I made my way back into the eyesight of the jet as I saw it falling to the ground and crash land on the road. I quickly redirected my flying straight down towards them to make sure they were alright while also dodging and taking down whatever I could on my way. The insane amount of chaos happening around me was so intense that my only method of preventing a complete breakdown was to ignore all of my feelings besides getting to Steve and making sure he was okay. I landed on the ground and ran up to find Steve running out of the jet and towards Stark tower to look up at the portal. “Steve!” I yelled at him to get his attention.

“Maddi,” he said with slight relief in his tone as he grabbed onto my hand for a brief second. “We’re matching.” He gave me a smile as he finally saw the colors of my clothing.

“Indeed we are!” I let out a laugh. “Red gloves, red boots, blue suit.” I waved my hands around as I spoke to point out our similarities.

“You look great,” he said sincerely. 

“I feel ridiculous,” I told him honestly. I felt like I was taken right out of a cartoon. The look just wasn’t what I ever imagined wearing, but I also never imagined being a superhero.

“Join the club,” he chuckled. It brought me back to the very first time he ever wore his suit in 1943, and I smiled. “If Tony wanted your theme to be red, he really should have planned an entire suit for you so you wouldn’t have had to use extra SHIELD attire.”

“Tell me about it,” I let out one final small smile before I turned my attention back to the current issue. “What do we do, Steve?” I asked as I looked around, truly taking in the destruction. 

“We gotta get back up there,” he replied. We ran with Natasha and who I assumed was the agent previously under Loki’s control, Clint Barton, to get a bit closer to the portal and get a better look. As we looked up, we heard an actual roar before a giant monster emerged from the portal. With all the other smaller flying devices carrying the Chitauri, the monster almost floated as it soared through the sky and down past us. It all appeared to be metal and more creatures jumped from it as we all stood with our mouths open in fear and disbelief. “Stark, are you seeing this?” Steve asked.

“Seeing, still working on believing,” he replied to us and I felt the same way. “Where’s Banner, has he shown up yet?”

“Banner?” Steve questioned. 

“Just keep me posted,” Tony said. 

We began to fight with the aliens that had made its way to the ground, but Steve noticed that the lower street level had a lot of civilians that were in danger. “They’re fish in a barrel down there,” he said with worry.

“We got this. It’s good, go,” Natasha told him as her and Clint continued to shoot at the surrounding aliens that got close to our cover. 

“Do you think you can hold them off?” Steve asked.

“Captain, it would be my genuine pleasure,” Clint replied. The two of us nodded and as I flew up over to get an analysis of all the pedestrians in trouble. 

“ANA, give me the most efficient route to getting these people to a safer place, please.” I told her and she began to show me the best way to gather the people I could through my lenses and I followed the instructions. 

As I got the people in the nearby street into areas leading underground, I hoped they would remain safer by evacuating that way. I soon went back into fighting the creatures as it became impossible to help the people around without doing so. I soon ended up back with Steve and the others as Thor also ended up fighting down with us. Soon we were able to wipe out the ones near us to buy enough time to make a plan. Thor told us the cube was impossible to shut down, and we knew that the fighting wasn’t going to be as easy as closing the portal. Soon we heard a motorcycle approach and we turned to see Bruce pull up. He greeted us and I smiled.

“It’s good to see you,” I told him.

“Looks like we’ll be fighting together in this,” he told me and I nodded. A fight was not what either of us ever wanted. 

“Stark, we got him,” Steve said.

“Banner?” Tony asked. “Tell him to suit up. I’m bringing the party to you.” Soon after his statement, he came flying around the corner with the giant monster behind him and many other aliens on his tail. 

“I don’t see how that’s a party,” Natasha commented. 

“Dr. Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry,” Steve told him.

“That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry.” He turned towards the monster and just in time for it to come close enough, Bruce turned into the Hulk and smashed it with its own momentum. Its armor began to fall apart and Tony was able to send a blast at his angle in the air at its actual flesh. The rest of us on the ground ducked and took cover to try and stay protected from the flying debris. The monster exploded and fell beneath the bridge we stood on. With the largest threat out of the way, we were able to get a better look at what was still left over. Tony lowered himself to the ground next to me and we stood facing outward in all directions to see that our fight wasn’t even close to being done. 

“Guys,” we heard Natasha warn and we all looked at her and then towards her line of vision. We saw the portal begin to let through many more creatures, including multiple of the enormous monsters that we had a hard time taking down just one before. 

“Call it, Captain,” Tony told Steve to set a plan of action. 

“Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal, our priority's containment,” Steve began to take charge and quickly decide the best way to approach the problem. His strong leadership abilities were able to shine. “Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark and Maddi, you two got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash.” I nodded quickly and took off up to the sky after Clint got a ride from Tony. 

“Alright ANA, keep an eye on the edge of Manhattan in case I miss anything,” I said as I began to lock in on the aliens in the outer buildings of the fight. 

_ “I’ll be sure to let you know if anything goes too far out,” _ she responded. I began to use the features in my eyewear to zone in on the different Chitauri close enough to attack. I got better at following my aim when using the blasts from the palms of my hands. The flying also became easier to control as I weaved my way through the streets of New York. 

“Captain, the bank on 42nd past Madison. They’ve cornered a lot of civilians in there,” I heard Clint say through my ear-com after some time of fighting what I could on my own.

“I’m on it,” Steve replied.

“I’ll meet you there Steve,” I said to them as I figured he could use some help there. 

When I met him there, we discovered three of the Chitauri pointing their guns on the people below them. One held a device that started to signal almost a countdown and we both knew that was something we needed to get a hold of and away from the civilians. Steve hit that alien in the face with his shield and the device went flying. The other two turned towards us to start shooting and I sent a blast their way from both of my palms. Steve and I managed to take down one of them after the block of their attack.

“Everyone, clear out!” Steve shouted at the people on the lower level of the bank. He immediately was grabbed from behind by another of the aliens as I searched the ground for the device that was still beeping. Just before being able to pick it up, I was hit hard by the alien I had first lost track of. I went flying down where the people in the bank stood and I was able to use the energy in my hands facing down to soften the fall as I landed on my back. Before I could get up, the blast from the device went off as it hit Steve’s shield and a blinding light went off in the bank. I put my arms up to protect my face as everyone else in the bank ducked from the explosion. I soon stood up after and began to direct the people as safely as possible out of the building. When I made it out myself, I found Steve without his mask standing in the street. He was looking around in slight horror as he had blood and dirt covering him. I approached him as he watched the civilians make their way out of the bank.

“Hey,” I said gently as I put my hand on his face to get his attention. “Steve look at me, are you alright?” He made eye contact with me and I saw sadness all over his face. He nodded slightly and I rubbed my thumb slightly on his cheek to give him some sort of comfort. 

He put his hand on top of my own and asked “And you? Are you okay to go back and fight with me?”

“If you are, of course. I’d follow you anywhere Steve, don’t forget: where you go, I go.” He gave me a genuine smile at my words. No matter our issues and no matter how long it had been, I wasn’t going to leave his side. After all, I would have never joined SHIELD to help fight if Steve hadn’t been the one I was following into battle. After this check on each other’s well being, we went right back to fighting the Chitauri on the nearby streets. I trusted Tony had the perimeter covered because I felt it was best to stay with Steve. We were soon joined by Thor and had a good rhythm of using the shield, hammer, and blasts from my palms to attack the surrounding aliens. 

At one point, Steve was hit hard on his abdomen, and Thor and I had to wipe out the aliens nearby before helping him. He was slowly getting himself up when we were able to make it to him.

“Are you ready for another bout?” Thor asked as he helped Steve up. 

“What, you getting sleepy?” Steve asked. He had his hand over his left side and there was blood around the torn suit. Thor called his hammer back ready to fight again. I worried for Steve, he healed faster than normal, but still not anywhere near as fast as myself. He could easily hit his limit of injury and not be able to come back from it.

“I can close it. Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down,” Natasha said suddenly through our ear-coms.

“Do it!” Steve replied as I looked up at the portal from where we stood.

“No wait!” We heard Tony exclaim.

“Stark, these things are still coming,” Steve told him. 

“I got a nuke coming in. It's going to blow in less than a minute, and I know just where to put it,” he responded and I froze in fear. Steve looked at me with worried eyes as well.

“Stark, you know that’s a one way trip?” Steve warned him with concern.

“Tony don’t you dare,” I tried to say but he cut me off.

“Maddi I have to and you know it,” he said. I looked around the sky of the city and tried to locate him. Just before I had him in my sight, he spoke once more. “Steve, keep her down there and keep her safe. I’m sorry Maddi, I love you.” His feed cut off as I assumed he had JARVIS turn off communication to the rest of us. I immediately pointed my palms to the ground as I tried to lift off and follow him, but Steve caught my arm before I could fly up.

“No!” I shouted as I saw Tony get closer to the portal and I was pulled back towards Steve. “No, Steve. I have to go up there, I have to help him. I’ll survive the trip, he won’t!” Steve wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. 

“You don’t know that Maddi, there’s no time, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I gave into his embrace as I knew there was nothing I could do. I just had to hope he would somehow come back to us. I kept my eyes on him all the way until he went through the portal. Within seconds, the Chitauri around us fell to the ground, their life must have been controlled by their main ship. Tony had done it, the nuclear bomb went off. We waited for him to come back down, but nothing happened. It was clear that the blast from the bomb was getting too close to the portal, we couldn’t keep it open any longer without its effects reaching Earth.

“Close it,” Steve said defeat and I sobbed into his shoulder. The only thing I could feel was pain all over my body. I couldn’t lose Tony, I just couldn’t do it. Steve’s arms tightened around me. I didn’t watch as the portal closed, and a few seconds later, Steve spoke up again. “Son of a gun,” he said. “Maddi look.” He let go of me so I could look up at the sky. There was Tony flying down after the portal had closed. I smiled wide and felt more tears but that of happiness this time.

“He’s not slowing down,” Thor said as he began to swing his hammer. I frowned as I realized he was right. I stepped away from Steve so I could lift off into the air as well to help. I got only a few feet up when I saw the Hulk caught him in the air and came crashing down with him protected in his arms. I changed direction and went towards them. Thor got to Tony first and turned facing up.

“Is he breathing?” Steve asked as we got closer. Thor took off Tony’s helmet and we saw him lying still with his eyes closed. Steve put his ear up to his nose to feel for a breath and then leaned back without a word. I looked frantically between Tony and Steve.

“Well?” I asked impatiently. He had to be okay, I got on my knees to check him myself when Hulk roared at Tony. That caused him to wake with a jump as his eyes darted around trying to figure out where he was and what had happened.

“What the hell?” He exclaimed and I sighed with a smile. “What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.” I lunged myself at him and embraced him in a hug. 

“We thought you were gone,” I said with more tears surfacing.

“You should know by now that getting rid of me isn’t that easy.” I laughed as I sat back up and looked at him again.

“We won,” Steve told him as he glanced around at the way New York ended up. 

Tony sighed and closed his eyes in response. “Alright, yay!” he said. “Hurray. Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma?” Steve and I smiled at him and then at each other. “There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is but I want to try it.”

“We’re not finished yet,” Thor reminded him that we still had Loki to collect at the tower.

“And then shawarma after,” Tony conceded. 

After we found Loki in the tower, and SHIELD collected the scepter, we indulged Tony in his desire to eat shawarma for lunch. Before sending Thor and Loki off to Asgard with the cube, we decided to get cleaned up and to reconvene at Central Park for the send off. Steve’s apartment and my apartment were just barely outside of the worst damage in New York, so our stuff was left unharmed. I met Steve at his place before we were going to head to Central Park together. 

“Wanna take the bike?” Steve asked me with a mischievous smile. He had started to receive his back pay from the military a month before and used part of it to buy himself a new motorcycle. I had yet to ride with him on it because I was honestly a little scared of it. But considering I just spent the entire morning fighting aliens while flying through the streets of New York, I realized I didn’t have much of the bike to be scared of anymore. 

“Alright, why not,” I told him and he smiled wider. We arrived soon after and eventually the rest of the team made its way to the park location as well. We watched as Eric Selvig, Bruce, and Thor got the Tesseract in place for them to use as a portal back to their home. We said our goodbyes to Thor and they were soon off our planet in the blink of an eye. The magic behind their world still blew my mind. We then began to say our goodbyes to each other.

“So you’ll come by the tower now that you know I’m here?” Tony asked and I nodded.

“Of course, once you have it fixed up, we can have a dinner with you, Pepper, Steve and I?” I asked him.

“Eh, a whole dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Greatest Generation? I might have to pass,” he responded.

“Really Tony?” I asked him with an eye roll and a smile.

“I’m kidding! I promise, I’m kidding! A dinner with us four sounds lovely.” I nodded with a smug look knowing he was joking. Our common ground fighting had some positive outcomes of bringing us together. 

“Greatest Generation?” Steve questioned with a confused look.

“Don’t take it as a complement, he’s mocking us by using the term dubbed to people born in our time. I’ll explain it better later,” I gave him a rub on his arm as I replied. Steve just chuckled and agreed, there was always something that needed explaining when it came to references he missed. Him and Tony shook hands as a final goodbye, I had high hopes that their relationship could grow into something nice in the future. They were easily the two most important people in my life and I wanted them to be friends. After our final goodbyes, we got back on Steve’s motorcycle and began to drive away. I had my hands wrapped around his torso and my head resting on his back as I smiled to myself. We had managed to all come out of this fight, and I was incredibly grateful for it. I looked forward to spending time with Steve and pushed aside any fears I had of how these events made me into an even more public figure than my persona of Jennifer O’Neill. Tony had told me he would help me deal with the press when it became necessary. In the meantime, I tried not to think about how much my life was going to change from all of this and just enjoyed how safe I felt holding on to Steve. 

* * *

  
  
  


**A/N: So I made a tumblr for this story! I actually did it specifically for the intent of showing you guys what I imagined Maddi’s suit would look like, but I was able to add some other things too. I’ll keep using it and telling you when I add cool things there for you to see. For now, I would really like you to go look at the suit I designed. It’s a mediocre design, I’m not a fashion or super suit designer, but it’s a good depiction of what I had in mind. Here is the link!**

[ **creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/** ](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/)

**If for some reason the link doesn't work, please search for me! You can find me under creationcitystreet-em and the blog is for His Southern Belle, it's my only blog. It's really important to me that you all get to see the suit design! Follow me there because I plan to keep using it for this story until the end!**

**I just also want to say that having the exact dates is super hard to keep track of. I’m sorry if I mess any of that up. To me, it doesn't make much sense for Thor and Loki to wait a day to leave Earth, but they were all cleaned up and had new clothes. So this is just how it’ll be, I didn’t know how to write it any other way. I’m going to pretend that the montage of news clips comes after their goodbye scene, because I do have plans of how that will incorporate into Maddi’s story, but I want to wrap up this specific movie first.**

**Anyway, please comment and let me know your thoughts, I really miss reading and interacting with you guys! I would love to know what you think about the suit or other posts I’ve made on the tumblr blog, you can just leave a note there if you’d like or send me a comment/message here! Thanks for still reading and following my story!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I also made an Instagram account for this story because I had a feeling it would be a lot easier to find and follow that for some. It is @ creation_city_street and I would love for people to check it out! I have already added a lot of cool things there to enhance the story, and I made an edit of a few pictures of the characters that I posted there today as well! Please check it out and tell me your thoughts!

_ Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window _

_ I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold _

_ Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing _

_ I don't always have to be alone _

_ 'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel _

_ Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so _

_ Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you _

_ Can't help it if there's no one else _

_ Mmm I can't help myself _

_ -”Hey Stephen” by Taylor Swift _

May 17, 2012

_ “Let’s talk about Jennifer O’Neill, I mean it’s very interesting that we haven’t heard much from her since Tony Stark’s disappearance and she was running Stark Industry.” _

_ “Oh yes, that was definitely a scandal, I think the amount of backlash she received from that pushed her to hide for a while. I’ve heard she just works in Stark Industries’ charity division now.” _

_ “Well then we can all agree that it’s weird she’s all of a sudden part of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes?” _

_ “Oh yes, there is definitely more to the story than we can find out. But let’s talk about what we do know. Her suit is similar to Iron Man’s, which makes sense considering her connection to Tony Stark, but it’s also very different from anything we’ve seen from his usual suits.” _

_ “Several hero names have been going around, including Iron Woman, Supergirl, and Miss Americana.”  _

_ “She does remind me of supergirl, the colors of her suit led me to like that one, but she’s missing the cape.” _

_ “Well the colors are what brought up Miss Americana, and that one seems to be the most popular one online right now, it’ll be interesting to see if anything else comes in first, but I’m betting on Miss Americana being the one to stick. She has that all American southern energy, and you just don’t come out in red and blue and not have a name that represents our country. I recommend she adds a little white to complete the look, maybe a star like Captain America?” _

_ “Oh don’t even get me started on that man. Every woman in the world, including me, wants to be the woman on his arm. Do you think he’s single?” _

_ “Well he’s apparently been in ice for almost 70 years, he probably hasn’t had time to date. That man certainly could have any girl he wants though, just look at those arms.”  _

The TV turned off before any of the broadcast journalists could continue their conversation. “You should really take a break from watching all of this Mads, it’s not going to bring you anything you want to hear,” Steve said as he put the remote down and sat next to me on the sofa in his apartment. 

“They want to call me Miss Americana,” I said with disdain. “Where’s the creativity?” I asked.

“I don’t think there’s ever been much creativity when it comes to hero naming. Whatever sticks is what we end up with. Besides, maybe they’ll latch on to something else.”

“Once they find out who I really am, I doubt that,” I knew they were going to link me with Steve and Captain America. They already had a name picked that would work, they would have a field day knowing Captain America and Miss Americana were once married. “Did you hear? You’ve been chosen as the Avengers’ most eligible bachelor,” I slightly shifted the subject with a smirk. Steve’s face went a little pink and he shook his head.

“I told you, all of that stuff on TV and the internet is just nonsense.”

“I know, I know,” I laughed. “Just think of all the poor women once they find out about us. They’ll have to move on because I liked you first.” I gave him a wink and he laughed back.

“Of course, you’re the only one for me. Have you decided when you’re going to let everyone know?”

I gave a sigh knowing this would come soon. I spent most of the last two weeks hiding in Steve’s apartment. Nobody really knew where I was and I was scared to finally tell the world my true identity. I knew sooner was better, it was bound to get out one way or another so it was better coming directly from me. “Tony and I spoke on the phone about it, he wants to set up a press meeting for me next week in LA. He thought it would be the perfect time around his birthday to come visit, obviously I wasn’t going to turn that down.”

“Alright, do you want me to come with you? I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through any of this alone.”

“Thank you, I would really appreciate that. I don’t need you up there with me, but just having you there in the room will make me feel better.” He leaned in and gave me a reassuring kiss.

“Of course.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


May 27, 2012

“Are you ready?” Tony asked me as we stood in the private room behind Stark Industries conference room.    
  


“Hey give her a minute okay?” Steve told him as he was previously trying to calm me down before Tony walked into the room.

“No no, I’m alright Steve,” I tell him while taking one last deep breath. “Really, I’m ready.” I looked at both of them to make sure they knew I was okay.

“Okay, then I’ll introduce you, and you can come up and address everyone. I’ll stand by you if you need anything. If you want to take questions you can, but don’t feel like you have to answer any of them. This is the easiest way for you to have control over what information goes out there, it’ll be better than going on some talk show that can corner you into a trap. 

I nodded and He went out to welcome the reporters that were there waiting for some announcement. I stood and turned back to Steve. “You know, you can back out right now if you want. We can come up with something else to keep your cover,” he told me as he put his hands lightly on my arms. They slid down to grab my hands and I squeezed them tightly.

“I know, but this is what I want to do. I’m tired of running, I’m tired of hiding. If people saw us out together as a couple, it could lead them more easily back to who I am. I don’t want to make you lie to stop them from finding out. I promise Steve, I’m ready.”

He kissed me quickly as we heard Tony wrap up his introduction. “Alright, I’ll be here watching and waiting for you when you’re done. Let Tony take over if it gets too overwhelming for you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said before walking out to the podium that has changed our lives so many times. When I first made my current alias public, when Tony came back from being kidnapped, when he announced he was Iron Man. Here I was changing my life forever again. 

“Here she is to give you the news you were all waiting for. Please refrain from asking questions unless she indicates she’ll be taking any,” Tony steps to the side after his final words and I step up with my note card in front of me. Unlike Tony, these words I spent days going over and over to get perfect were my lifeline, I wasn’t going to stray from them during this address. 

“Good morning everyone,” I started with a deep breath. “At the beginning of this month, I participated in the Battle of New York, which was an event that has changed the course of our history. Information of aliens and advanced human capabilities have become public knowledge, and what we do with that information is still being discussed by all of us every day. I know many people have speculated about my involvement, additionally the suit I used. I’ll first confirm the woman flying in those pictures found is indeed me, I don’t think there were many questions involved there. Tony did make my suit, and it was something I chose to use because our planet was in desperate need of all the help it could get. I was not going to stand on the sidelines any longer when I had the ability to help, especially in the suit Tony made for me.” I gave him a smile and he smiled back at me to encourage me to continue. 

“Speaking of Tony, there are some things I have kept from the public in order to protect myself in the past. I have felt it is best to come forward and explain everything I can to you all here today. My real name is not Jennifer O’Neill. I was born as Madeline Bennett on June 25, 1918 in Tennessee.” There was immediate chatter from the reporters from my news and I decided to continue through my speech before letting them get any words in. “I was married to Steve Rogers, Captain America, in 1944, and in 1958, I faked my own death with the help of Howard Stark. This was in order to protect myself because we had found out I was given capabilities beyond human years before. I had stopped aging, any injuries I gained healed with increasing speed, and I never could never get sick. The nature of me gaining these abilities are still mostly unknown, I wish I could explain more, but the point is that I have been in hiding ever since. I was scared to be used by others and my life would no longer be my own. However, I now feel comfortable with the people I trust to help protect my rights. I trust that I will not be forced into experimentation or other public use without my consent. I hope that I will not face ridicule from the world in coming clean with my true identity. I want to help our planet in any way I can, but I do not want to be feared or controlled by others. I will now take a few questions if you have any.” 

The room erupted in reporters trying to get their question in and I was able to pick out a couple to ask first. The first question I received was “Why did you decide to become public with Jennifer O’Neill as an alias if you were trying to hide?”

“It was Tony’s idea. One of my previous fake identities was a part of his mother’s family. Howard and Maria Stark were kind enough to keep me in their house and a part of their family for quite a while. I may not be biologically related to Tony, but I’ve watched him grow up. He is every part of my family than anyone who ever was legally. I wanted to be in his life again, and he felt this was the best way while he continued to work towards reversing my anti-aging. He was able to erase any record of my image as Madeline from online, and most hard copies did not contain my face. He will be releasing those back for public knowledge as they have much to do with the history of our country.”

I took another question. “Along those lines, you were married to Steve Rogers, who is now back from the dead as well. Are you two still together, have you seen him any other time than in the Battle of New York?”

This was a question I was prepared for and discussed with Steve on how to handle it. I didn’t want to release anything about him he didn’t approve of others knowing. “Yes. We reconnected when he was recovered from the ice, SHIELD was able to find me and tell me of his return. It had been decades since I saw him. It took time, but we are currently together again.”

“Does that make you married again?” A reporter’s question rang out without me calling on them but I decided to address it anyway.

“For now we are just together. We both legally died, I think our vows were released then. It’s all a lot for the two of us to take in, so we are taking it one day at a time. Married is a bit much for now.” I hesitated before continuing. The questions asked so far weren’t too bad, but I didn’t want to give an opportunity to let them get worse. I decided this was enough information to give for now. “With that I want to say thank you all for coming today. I hope to become more transparent in the future, for now this is the most I am comfortable with.”

As I was stepping away, reporters started throwing more questions at me. I tried to drown them out but I heard some of the harsher ones:

“How can we trust you now after you lied to everyone for so long?”

“Can American’s feel safe with someone enhanced like you just walking without consequence on the streets?”

I quickly walked back to the private room with Steve in it as Tony said final remarks to send everyone home. I opened and closed the door with myself inside and immediately found myself wrapped in Steve’s comforting arms. He rubbed my back as I closed my eyes with my head on his chest. “You did great out there, Maddi. I’m really proud of you.”

“Get ready for the media to follow us for a while,” I told him. “Trust me, I’ve seen Tony after his many scandals, they will not leave either of us alone until they get more information for their stories.”

“It’s alright,” he said back to me. “We’re going to get through all of it together. The good and the bad, I’m not leaving your side.” 

I looked up at him and kissed him softly. “Thank you,” I said as we pulled away. “For everything, thank you, Steve. I love you so much.”

“I love you, darling.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


June 8, 2012

_ “So here we actually have a lawyer to discuss the biggest question we’ve all had about Steven Rogers and Madeline Bennett. Mr. Wright, please give us your expertise on the marriage status of America’s current most talked about couple.” _

_ “Well Diana, I’ve taken a look at their marriage certificate and it is true they were married in Italy on January 5, 1944. Now obviously in a normal marriage, Madeline would have been released of those marriage obligations upon his death in 1945. I’m sure she went on some dates before her ‘death’ in 58, she probably had relationships in her multiple fake identities.” _

_ “Oh yes, we’ve heard many stories of people claiming they knew her in the 60s, 80s, etc. Obviously they aren’t all true but some seem to be a bit more believable than others. We’d love to find out more about those lives she had.” _

_ “Well in regards to her statement on the 27th last month, she claimed her and Steve were no longer married. If either of them were still actually dead, then this would be a true fact. However, neither of them actually died. Steve Rogers has recently received 4 million dollars from the United State Government in Military backpay, so it has already been decided that his ‘death’ doesn’t legally count. Madeline admitted to faking her own death, which has a lot of legal issues I’m sure she is dealing with right now including the idea of tax evasion, but the one we’re all focused on right now is her marriage. NYU has decided that her PhD is still standing, which means so is her marriage. Madeline Bennett is in fact still Madeline Rogers, they’d have to go through a legal divorce at this point to say their marriage is no more.” _

_ “There you have it everyone, Captain America and Miss Americana are still married. What are your thoughts Marie?” _

_ “Well maybe her name will evolve now to Mrs. Americana.” _

_ “Perhaps Dr. Americana would be more appropriate from all the work she put into her schooling in the 50s.” _

I turned off the TV and turned to Tony. We were currently in Stark Tower as it was being rebuilt and he was there for the week to help with the design. Steve was there with us and I was showing Tony the news segment about our marital status. “So, is he right?” I asked him.

“Well his logic isn’t all that bad. I’ll get some of my own lawyers to look into it and confirm it for you, I don’t want to just trust some TV lawyer with this conclusion. Would you want to get a divorce lawyer if this turns out to be true?” he asked us.

“Divorce lawyer?” Steve questioned with his eyes furrowed.

“Maddi didn’t even want to be in a relationship with you a few months ago, and now she’s finding out she’s still married. You don’t think she’d consider a divorce?” Tony replied. 

“No,” I immediately cut in. “No, I don’t want a divorce lawyer. If we’re still married, then we’re still married. Sure it’s not at all what I expected, but it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” I turned towards Steve who was trying to hide the worry in his eyes. “So what if we’re still legally married? We can still take things at the pace we want to right now. Who knows, the idea of wearing those rings again someday sounds kind of nice.” He smiled at my words and I smiled back at him.

“Alright, if that’s what you two hopeless romantics want. I’ll still have our own lawyers look into it just to make sure it’s real.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Steve told him.

“So, it sounds like you’ve been dubbed Miss Americana, or Mrs. or Dr.” Tony joked with a smirk.

“It’s all absurd,” I told him as I rolled my eyes. “I knew they wouldn’t resist that silly name when they found out who I really was. I don’t really care what they throw in front of it, I don’t intend on using the suit again anytime soon.” Aliens in New York was one thing, but I wasn’t about to start using it as often as Tony used his own suits.

“You know my plan was to get out the name ‘The Red Immortal’ to go along with the color scheme, but it really was my fault for not having the entire thing planned out. If I’m gonna be honest with you, I hadn’t actually finished the design yet. You having to wear a blue SHIELD suit was me putting off finishing the real one. But I now have a better one in mind that will be more protective than what you wore. I still haven’t picked the color, we could make it red and I could get people to start using a different name.”

“I kinda like that name. It feels more unique and individual than all the ideas people have been throwing around online and on TV. But I doubt we’ll be able to make that work now. They’ve latched onto the red and blue. We don’t get to pick our superhero names, that’s not how it’s ever worked and you know it.” 

“Tony didn’t pick Iron man?” Steve asked.

“It’s made of gold titanium alloy so I would have never suggested the name, but I kinda liked it, but Maddi’s right. She told me you were given Captain America when you didn’t even have Captain status. Bruce was stuck with Hulk, Thor get’s to just use his name because humans aren’t even creative enough to give him anything else. Miss Americana just might be what you’re stuck with.”

“I don’t want to give them any more reason to dislike me. If they want their perfect American couple, that’s what we’ll give them. We were always pretty good at separating Captain America’s life from Steve and mine back in the day, we can do it again with my new superhero life thrown in,” I said.

“Sure but back then not many really cared about Steve and Maddi. They definitely care now, your private non-super life is just as interesting to the vultures as the rest of it. But that’ll get better eventually when they feel they have all the information out of you two that they want and the novelty of it all will die down,” Tony replied.

“It’s definitely a lot sometimes, there were people taking our photos the other day as we ate lunch,” Steve said with a sigh. “It’s crazier than it ever was in the 40s.”

“Yeah because some people have nothing better to do now than obsess over your lives and it’s everywhere, not just in newspapers. You’ll learn to work around it and block it out,” Tony reassured us both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked the chapter and are looking forward to the upcoming parts of their story! I like using the italics TV talk shows and news shows to update some of the world's perspective on Maddi's life. I think she knows listening/watching/reading all the gossip about her isn't good for mental health, but she also just can't help it sometimes. That might catch up with her in the future. I also had a hard time thinking of a good superhero name for her, but then I began to think that some of the names out there aren’t that creative. I thought it would be fun to play with that idea a little and the fact that it doesn’t matter if the hero likes the name or not. The Taylor Swift song was fitting for the beginning and the overall feeling of the world loving Steve again. Maddi loved him first, and she loves him with all her heart.


	11. Chapter 11

June 25, 2012 (STEVE’S POV)

Maddi tossed and turned next to me in her sleep. It was early in the morning of her birthday and I had a day planned out for her. Those plans were quickly sidetracked when her sleep became even more restless and she began to call out with her eyes squeezed shut. I tried to wake her gently, she had nightmares on more than one occasion since the attack on New York. Some days were better than others, but I could tell that battle was really hard on her mental health. I tried again to wake her, with a little more urgency this time and her eyes flung open. However, they seemed clouded and she still wasn’t fully there. They frantically darted around her and she screamed a rather terrifying shrill. Her arms started flying towards me in defense as words finally escaped her lips. “Get off me, get off me!” she screamed in terror. 

“Maddi it’s me,” I said quickly as I tried not to touch her and make her more panicked, but I also didn’t want her to hurt herself. “It’s Steve, Maddi. You’re safe, you’re in bed, it’s only me.” 

“No! Get away, don’t touch me, get away!” She hit me hard a few more times and then she tried to move farther from me, causing her to fall off the bed. She hit her head on the way and soon her screaming turned to crying. 

“Maddi,” I rushed around the bed to her side. I hesitated in getting too close, I didn’t want to upset her further. “Maddi, are you here with me?” She kept crying as she wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled her knees up to her chest, but she nodded her head in response. I sighed softly as some of the tension left my body. “Can I help you back up?” I asked. She nodded again as she put her head against her knees and continued to cry. I got closer to her and decided the best way to help her up was to just carry her back onto the bed. “I’m gonna pick you up, okay?” she nodded again as permission. I set her back on the bed and sat beside her. I didn’t want to overwhelm her by hugging her, so I stuck with softly rubbing her back as she kept her head down and her arms locked tightly around her legs. 

We sat like that for a while before she eventually lifted her head and embraced me with her arms all in one swift motion. I wrapped my own around her body and had one of my hands resting on her head against my shoulder. I felt her tears fall on to me and I just kept trying to sooth her without making her uncomfortable. “Thank you,” she finally whispered in a hoarse voice. 

“Do you need me to get you anything? Water?” I asked. 

“No, I think I’ll just lay back down,” she replied.

“Okay, do you want to talk about your dream, is there anything I can do to make you feel more alright?” 

“I just want to lay down,” she unwrapped her arms from me and I leaned back and let her lay back down on the bed.

“Okay,” I resigned. “If you need anything, let me know.” she nodded and put her arms around her pillow and I pulled the blankets up for her. It was around 8am then and I decided to head to the kitchen to make breakfast for the two of us just in case Maddi would be hungry later. As I finished up the eggs, I heard Maddi crying again from the bedroom and I grew more concerned. This was by far the worst she had ever woken up from a nightmare. I made my way back to the room and sat at the foot of the bed. “I made you some eggs, Maddi. I can bring them in here if you’d like.” I put my hand on her leg over the blanket and she flinched away. I lifted my hand back away and my eyebrows furrowed. 

“No thank you,” she said so quietly I barely heard her. “I’d just like to be alone right now,” she added. I nodded even though I knew she wasn’t looking at me.

“Okay,” I whispered back. I left the room again, not really knowing what else to do. I wanted to respect her wishes, but I wanted to be able to do more to help her as well. I gave it a few hours while I read on the sofa before I tried again to help. “Hey Maddi,” I said as I stood by the door with a sad smile. She was staring at the wall in front of her, I had a feeling she never fell back asleep or even moved the entire time she was there. “I don’t know if you remembered, but today’s your birthday. I had some things in mind, but it’s your day. We can do anything you want, I’ll make it happen for you.” I tried to add cheer to the atmosphere, but I knew I failed.

“No thank you,” she said. Before I could say anything else, there was a knock at the door. Maddi jumped at the sound but didn’t make any other movement after. I took in a deep breath and went to the front door. When I opened it, I saw Tony standing in the hall with flowers in one hand and balloons in the other. 

“I went to her place first but she wasn’t there. Is she inside?” he asked and I stepped outside and closed the door behind me.

“Tony, I don’t know if now is a good time.”

“What do you mean now's not a good time? It’s her birthday.”

“I thought you were in LA this week,” I said, crossing my arms as I stayed standing in front of the door to make sure he didn’t try to run in past me.

“Yeah but it’s her birthday, I flew in this morning. Why can’t I come in?”

“She had a really rough night, Tony.”

“Okay gross,” he joked and I rolled my eyes.

“Not like that! She had a terrible nightmare that really shook her up. She’s spent hours in bed staring at the wall, she’s barely said anything since. I’m serious Tony, she’s had bad dreams that made her feel off for the day, but nothing like this. I don’t even know what it was about, but it has to be about the attack on New York. She doesn’t like talking about it, but it’s been really hard on her.” 

Tony let out a long breath and looked around the hall as he stayed in thought for a moment. “Okay let me talk to her,” he said.

“She wants to be alone, she won’t talk to you.”

“Look I know you have a lot of experience with the traumas of war, and I’m sure you’ve been as helpful as you can, but I think I can help more here. That day was brand new for both of us. We had never fought in a war before, we don’t have the training or anything to get us through that. I think I can talk to her, just let me try.”

I stared at him as I took it in that he could probably help Maddi more than I could. Although I hated to admit it, he probably knew her a bit better than I did as he had been around her for the past 40 years. “Alright, but don’t push her. You didn’t hear how much terror she was in, and I don’t think it would take much to make her feel that distressed again.” he nodded and I let him into my apartment. We walked to my room and I stayed by the door again. “Maddi, someone’s here to wish you a happy birthday.” I said softly.

Tony walked in without the balloons and just the flowers. I had a feeling he did it to prevent frightening her, and I was impressed with his attention to that kind of detail. “Hey there, old lady,” he said with a small smile. “I brought these for you.” I quietly left the room and closed the door halfway. I went to the kitchen and sat at the table to give them privacy. There may had been a lot of things I didn’t trust Tony with, he didn’t give me a lot of reason to do so, but I did trust him with Maddi. It was clear to anyone how important they were to each other, and it was a relationship I was glad she had in her life. 

I sat still at the table for a while before I heard the door open again. I looked up immediately and saw Maddi walk out hesitantly before Tony. She still looked a little out of it, but her being out of bed was a good sign. I made eye contact with Tony and he gave me a small forced smile. I looked back at Maddi and tried to be as warm and inviting in my facial expressions as possible. I stood up and pulled out a chair for her. “Would you like to sit down, darling?” 

“Yes, thank you.” she carefully sat down and then looked up at me with red eyes. “Do you still have those eggs?” 

“I can make you some right now,” I said quickly and made my way to the fridge and stove to start up some more breakfast for her, although it was the afternoon at this point. 

“He didn’t come back,” Maddi said after I placed her eggs, bacon, and toast in front of her and sat down with Tony also sitting at the table. 

“What?” I asked curious and concerned by what she meant.

“Every time I dream about that day, I’m right there again. It’s loud and dangerous and someone always dies. This time, Tony didn’t come back after going through the hole, and it was all for nothing because the Chitauri just kept coming. It just got really overwhelming, I think we lost.” She fiddled with her fork as she spoke and I gave Tony a nervous glance.

“We won Maddi, we’re all okay,” I tried to reassure her.

“This time yes,” she clarified. “But you’ve left me before. I’ve almost lost Tony more than once. I can’t die, and so I’ll always be the one left over after everyone dies. I can’t take it anymore, I try to be strong, but I don’t know how. The fear and pain of losing the people I care most about never goes away.”

“I wish I could take that fear and pain away from you Maddi, I really do.” I hated how her inability to age or get killed burdened her so much. 

“I think I want to go to a therapist or something. I just think about this all the time, even when I’m trying not to, and it catches up with me. That battle, it bothers me during the day sometimes too. I get jumpy by things that never used to bother me before.”

“I know you won’t find many superhero support groups, but you always have us, Maddi,” Tony told her. She smiled softly as she looked at her plate. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, and then she didn’t say much more as she ate her food. The rest of the day was taken slow. Maddi was visibly seeming better as three of us played a few board games. We gave her some gifts to open and we finished the day with cake. Tony told me later that he had an elaborate surprise party planned for Maddi at some banquet hall and canceled it. He knew that was not what was best for her in that moment, and I was impressed with him putting aside theatrics when it truly mattered. 

* * *

  
  
  


July 4, 2012

“Wait, wait, wait!” I called out to Steve while trying to catch my breath.

“For someone who couldn’t wait to get out here, you sure are taking it pretty slow now,” Steve joked in response as he stopped and turned around. We were currently hiking up a pretty steep trail in upstate New York. It was my idea to bring Steve here for his birthday.

“Look I’m in shape, but no amount of my ‘in shape’ will ever be able to keep up with you. Help me up this last step please,” I said as I was struggling to pull myself up past the rock I was currently standing on. He grabbed my hand and helped me to his level. “Thank you,” I said with a smile and he smiled back. I took out some of our water and handed it to him after taking my own sip from it. 

“I’ll make sure to slow down a bit more. Are we almost to the destination you had in mind by the way?” he asked. 

“Yeah but the journey there is the best part, Steve!” I gave him a laugh as I continued. “Don’t go so fast, and you can see how beautiful this whole place is.” He looked around and nodded as he took in his surroundings. 

“You’re right, I get carried away.” 

“It’s okay, I assume the exercise is also your favorite part,” I teased him.

“Actually my favorite part is spending the day with just you,” he replied without missing a beat.

“Aw, so sweet. I’ll give you a pass on the excess cheesiness because it’s your birthday.”

“I’m being serious! I’m really glad you plan this day for us together.” 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” I smiled at him and we got back to our trek up to the top of the trail. I wanted to be able to watch the sunset with him there, and we had plenty of time to get there. I knew this was the kind of birthday he would enjoy, just the two of us outside. Something like fireworks in downtown New York City sounded like it would probably be too overwhelming for him right now. Nature was the perfect place that Steve felt like he still fit in, these protected woods looked exactly like any other decades before. Besides, I hadn’t celebrated the fourth of july since Steve was still alive. It was too painful for so long to be reminded of him by the fireworks every year, I hadn’t ever really associated them or the day in general with anything other than Steve and his birthday since before I knew him. Celebrating Steve was always more important to me than the holiday, so I had no problems being out in the middle of nowhere for the day. I was glad that Steve agreed this was better than any other kind of celebration in the city. 

We finally made it as high as we could, the trees spanned out in all directions below us, and we had a beautiful view of the sky as it began to fill with more and more colors by the minute. I sat down in front of a boulder to lean on, and Steve sat next to me. “How are you doing?” he asked me, and I knew he wasn’t asking about how I physically felt after climbing several miles up the trail. He had been very cautious around me and how I was feeling since my own birthday. I completely understood why, and I was honestly rather grateful for it. I had a tendency of ignoring negative feelings until it got too hard for me to handle and I would break down. Steve did a wonderful job of keeping me in check on a daily basis, and it was getting me into a better habit of being able to do it on my own as well. It had only been about a week since my own birthday, and I already felt more hopeful for my mental health. 

Being able to spend the first birthday with Steve since 1944, I was truly the happiest I had been in a very long time. “I’m doing really well, honestly.” He looked into my eyes and concluded that I was being completely truthful and smiled wide.

“I’m glad,” he said. “Please don’t ever be afraid to tell me otherwise.”

I nodded and leaned into his body. “I’m so glad I have you,” I told him. 

He put his arms around me as we looked out at the setting sun. It was still the beginning of sunset, so we had some time before it would be dark. “Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream, having you here with me. I’ll wake up and find out that you’re not really here and I’m living through this on my own. It just doesn’t seem real sometimes to be with you after spending almost 70 years in the ice.”

“I know what you mean. I never thought I’d see you again,” I whispered back. “But I also never thought I’d fight an army of aliens in downtown New York, so what feels real isn’t always a good indicator anymore.” he chuckled at my words and agreed. “Happy Birthday, Steve.”

“Thank you, Maddi.”

“We’re technically both 94 years old now,” I reminded him with a smirk. “But you have skipped so many of them, we’re going to need to catch you up on parties. Starting next year,” I teased.

“As long as I get to spend them with you, I’ll celebrate however you see fit,” he laughed. “I’m getting too old to argue anyway,” he added.

“Don’t let Tony hear you talk like that, he already has way too much fun reminding us how old we are.”

“Well lucky for me, you make me feel as young as I look,” he replied.

“I’m the one whose actually physically experienced 94 years of living. I’m the one that should feel that old, but you also make me feel young again,” I turned slightly and looked up at him with a grin. He leaned down and kissed me without another word. We spent the rest of the hour in silence in each other’s arms as the sun set before us. Once it was darker, we made our way back down the same trail we walked up in. The darkness of our surroundings could have been scarier if I didn’t have Steve there with me. His navigation skills surpassed mine, especially once it was night. We eventually arrived safely at his motorcycle and rode back to our hotel that I got forus. I felt so content leaning my head on his back, and I could tell with how relaxed his muscles were that he felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was written in a sort of dichotomy of birthday experiences. The reason why none of these fears talked about on Maddi’s birthday are expressed or even mentioned in her thoughts in some of her perspectives in other chapters are because she is often pushing them aside to live a normal life. I think it’s something we all do for big and small problems in our life. People try to and actually live very “normal” lives while they are secretly hurting inside. Sometimes it haunts their thoughts, sometimes their sleep, etc. Also I don’t cover every single day of Maddi’s life, just the highlights, so a lot of those low days are in between the plot driven days where she sometimes has to put aside her overwhelming feelings. She goes through cycles of being able to handle her mental health and it becoming too much for her to deal with. I hope you liked it all and I can’t wait to write more of her story! 
> 
> I will also be a little more specific telling you my plan here on how I will say thank you to these comments you guys are so gracious to give! As soon as I get 5 comments that consist of more than just asking me to update again, I promise I will update within 24 hours of that 5th comment about this story. Thank you so much to those who have commented, I love reading them!
> 
> Don’t forget to check out and follow the instagram account @ creation_city_street Let me know your thoughts on some of those posts too!


	12. Chapter 12

_ I persist and resist the temptation to ask you _

_ If one thing had been different _

_ Would everything be different today? _

_ But we were something, don't you think so? _

_ Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool _

_ And if my wishes came true _

_ It would've been you _

_ In my defense, I have none _

_ For digging up the grave another time _

_ But it would've been fun _

_ If you would've been the one _

_ -”the 1” by Taylor Swift _

  
  


* * *

  
  


August 11, 2012

“Hey, there’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while and I wanted to talk to you first before doing anything,” Steve told me as we sat on the couch of my apartment, both reading our own books while light music played on my speaker. 

“Sure, what is it?” I ask as I put my book down.

Steve put his own book next to mine and took a moment before speaking what was on his mind. “I know that I was able to receive a lot, and you know I really mean a lot, of back pay from the military. Thanks to you of course, that was a lot of paperwork and getting bounced around by every person imaginable from the US government before actually receiving anything that I couldn’t have been able to maneuver on my own.” He hesitated to say what he was actually trying to bring up and I gave him a nod to encourage him to continue. “The point is, I have a lot of money that could last me a while but I want to do something more with my life right now, something good. You still have your job for Stark Industries, I really want something of my own that I can feel familiar with and be proud of.”

“Okay,” I responded when he stopped for my opinion. “What did you have in mind?”

“Fury wants me to join SHIELD, be a leader within their ranking system after some training on doing that within their organization. I would be going on missions, leading teams, hopefully helping the world that way.” I nodded as I took in his news.

“I think that sounds like a really good idea,” I finally responded.

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “I know you don’t entirely like SHIELD, and I really don’t blame you. I have some issues with them too, but I think I can see that they’re trying at least to make the world better, keep people safe. That’s why you, Peggy, Howard, and Phillips started right? If I can be a part of it, I can help it be the vision you four had.”

“Yes, I think it would be a great idea. You’re right, we created it with good intentions. There’s always going to be bad people in the world, and the ‘good guys’ aren’t always so good. I have had a dislike for SHIELD in recent years, but I’m learning to not be so quick to judge it or its leaders. I think having you become someone important in that organization, it’ll hopefully bring some of your strong moral beliefs to the way they do things there. I also want you to be happy, and if you think this will be a job you enjoy, I support it completely.”

He took my hand and gave me a smile. “Thank you, Maddi. That really means a lot.”

“Just please be careful, those missions are dangerous. I hate having to worry about you every time you go to work, but it’s not like I can ask you to find some boring nine to five job.”

“I’ve never really been good at just sticking to an ordinary life huh?” he said with a chuckle and I let out a small sincere but sad smile.

“I’m not going to ask you to be someone you’re not, I knew what I was getting myself into when I fell in love with the small man who got into fights with those much too big for him.” Although he was so much stronger and more capable now than back then, so were his fights. I feared the day he got himself into something too big for him to handle even now. “Maybe one day you’ll grow tired of this and want to do something else, and I’ll be there to support you then too.”

“I’ll support you too, if you decide to change your mind about your own work.”

“Thank you, I’m quite content with where I’m at right now. Pepper gives me a lot of freedom to be able to work from New York and travel only when necessary. We’ll see if I get bored of it anytime soon though, I’ve never really had the same job much longer than a decade at a time.”

“Maybe you won’t get bored, you can finally settle down in one place without having to worry about changing things up again in the years to come.” I nodded as I took that idea in. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but he was right. I could stay with this job in this city as long as I wanted. Everywhere I went, people would know who I was and that I couldn’t age, so it didn’t matter if I wanted to continue doing the same thing for the next 40 years. 

“Maybe,” I replied. I wasn’t closed to change at this point, but it was nice to have the option and not be forced into hiding again. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


September 20, 2012

I sat at a small coffee shop I had grown to like over the past month while I drank a cold tea in their outdoor seating and got some work done on my laptop. Since a lot of my work was done from home, I liked to take it outside whenever I could to get some fresh air. I avoided it for a while because of some of the attention I would draw in public. People knew my face better now more than ever. Of course I enjoyed those who approached me kindly, children were always my favorite to talk to, but I also got a lot of people who wanted to say nothing but rude things to me. Luckily, the owner of this coffee shop was very nice in making sure those people were taken care of if they began to become a problem. Steve had been gone for the entire week, he was doing an extensive training for SHIELD, and wouldn’t be back for another week. I was working into the late afternoon when I saw movement from the corner of my eye trying to get my attention. 

I looked up to see an older man standing in front of my table. I took out the earbuds playing music to give him my attention, hoping that it was someone who wouldn’t be ready to tell me off for either destroying the city or lying to the public for so long. Those were the two most popular topics when it was someone who wasn’t a fan of the new heroes. “Hello, miss,” the man hesitated when I looked at him. He seemed flustered as he tried to find the words he wanted to say. 

“Yes, can I help you?” I asked him kindly. I had a feeling he wasn’t someone who was going to be mean, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t give him a reason to either. I hadn’t had anyone approach me the entire day, so I was in a rather good mood. I didn’t mind putting aside my work for a moment for the man in front of me. 

“Are you Madeline? The superhero, Miss Americana? They're calling you that, correct?”

“Yes, I am.”

He took in a deep breath and I tried to decipher why he was so nervous to talk to me. “I’m not sure if you remember me, I wasn’t sure if I’d find you. I didn’t actually plan on trying until my granddaughter was talking about how she wanted to try this coffee shop one day, she saw it was your favorite in an online magazine or something. You’re her favorite Avenger.” I furrowed my eyebrows when he began talking, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt silly not being able to immediately recognize him earlier. 

“Jackson?” I asked with shock clearly in my voice. Standing there in front of me was the man who almost proposed back in 1966.

“You do remember?” he asked with just as much surprise as I felt.

“Yes yes of course I do. Sit down, please.” I moved everything I was working on into my bag sitting next to me. He sat down in the chair across the small table from me.

“You look wonderful by the way,” he said with a small smile. “I love the red hair.”

“Thank you,” I replied remembering that he only ever saw me with blond hair. I didn’t know what else to say. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I settled on.

“Me neither.”

“How did you, where…” I was still at a loss for words and he jumped in to explain.

“When I first saw you on TV years ago, I thought it was so strange how familiar you looked. Your face was so similar to my Lucy, your voice too, but I knew I was being ridiculous. My age was catching up to me. But then you told everyone who you really were, that you had been the same age in hiding since the forties. There was no way that was a coincidence anymore, you had to have been Lucille. I didn’t know if you’d be here when I decided to come into the city to look. I didn’t know how else to even try. Everytime my granddaughter brought you up, I would listen to her tell me everything she had learned about you in the past week. I wasn’t sure if what she knew was all true, but it was my only chance. She had said that so many people pretended to know you from different times, nobody was really taken seriously about it anymore. But I knew I had to try. I’m not sure why, I just knew I had to.”

I took in everything he had to say and just nodded in response. “Well it sounds like you got pretty lucky,” I attempted to joke. “What are the odds you caught me here at the right time? I like to mix it up so that I don’t get people predicting when I’ll be here everyday.”

“It’s nice to finally see you again, it was even nicer to finally understand all the questions I had about you for so long.” he gave me a sad smile.

“Oh Jackson, I am so sorry for everything I put you through. I was so selfish back then, I should have never even let us get as far as we did.”

“No no, please don’t feel sorry for that. It was some of my best years, I wouldn’t have done them any differently. 

“I knew that’s how it would end though, I knew we were doomed from the start and I didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. Then I found the ring and panicked. I want to apologize for that, I wish I could have explained more.”

He sat and thought for a few moments before replying. “I worried about you at first, concerned that something had happened to you. Though someone told me they saw you take a train out of town and I knew right away that you weren’t planning to come back. I never would have thought this was the reason you were gone. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, but it was for the best that things ended up the way they did.”

“You said you have a granddaughter?” I asked hopefully. 

“Yes, Natalie. She’s 11 years old, about to start middle school. I have three grandchildren in total right now from two children of my own. I met my wife in the fall of 69 when I moved to Boston.”

“Why did you move to Boston?” I asked curiously. Jackson always seemed like he wanted to stay in his small town forever.

“I don’t really know. It felt like the right thing to do, to get away and find something new for myself. Without the time I had with you, I would have never left that town. You always used to talk with such wisdom, that we were both made for more than a tiny town in the middle of nowhere Tennessee. When you left, I figured you were out living that grand adventurous life you were meant to live, and I eventually knew I needed to do the same for myself. If it weren’t for you, I would have never met Rachel, my wife.” He gave me a wrinkled smile and I couldn’t help but let the tears fall from my eyes. It felt like a million pounds were lifted from my chest.

“I’m so happy to hear that. I think so much about all the lives I felt I screwed up. To know that I didn’t completely screw up yours, maybe it wasn’t all as bad as I remember,” I told him.

He took my hand over the table in his and held it softly. “If my wishes back then had come true, I would have married you and given you that adventurous life myself. It looks like you had your own adventures and are still having them just fine without me.”

“I would have stayed with you, if Howard Stark had figured out a fix for my aging. I would have found you. I wanted to be with you, and I hated that I left you thinking otherwise.”

“I guess everything would have been very different if that had happened. God really does everything for a reason, doesn’t he?” He continued smiling at his thoughts. “We both found the true loves of our lives. None of that would have happened if you had aged normally in New York City and I would have never made it to Boston.” I squeeze his hand in response because I was at a loss for words. I knew that good things had come from what I felt was my biggest curse, but the benefits were wider spread than I thought. It was good for me to be able to see it this way.

“Your granddaughter, Natalie, and either of your other grandchildren, if they ever want to meet me or another Avenger, I’d be happy to make it happen.” I let out a laugh through the tears I still had. 

“Oh I’d certainly be the coolest grandfather in the world if I did that for them,” he laughed along. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


November 3, 2012 (STEVE’S POV)

I sat at the dining table in Maddi’s apartment as we ate dinner together, and I brought up something that had been on my mind for a while. “How would you feel about moving to DC?” 

Maddi paused, surprised at the idea. “Um, I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like an entirely bad idea. What have you been planning?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“SHIELD’s main headquarters are in DC. I think I’d have to travel less if I lived there. I wouldn’t want to move though without you, I don’t want to make you move either. I just thought I’d bring up the idea.” I hoped she would like the idea, but I didn’t want to force her into it. “Also, I think it’s just been too weird living in New York after all these years.”

She nodded and took time to think about my answer. “Would we get separate apartments, or live together?” she asked.

I wasn’t expecting that question to be her first. “Oh, I don’t know actually. Would you want to live together? I mean we spend most of the time sleeping at one apartment or the other, never really separately unless one of us is out of town. It would make sense to me for us to just move in together when we moved, if you were okay with that.”

“I like that idea,” she smiled. “A lot.”

I couldn’t contain my own grin at her words. “So DC is a good choice to consider?” I verified.

“I think it’s the choice. If work would be easier for you there, I think it would be great to move. I can do my job anywhere, and living in DC would be a really amazing experience. You’ve been there but only ever for work, I would love to get to know the city with you.”

“Okay, then we’re moving to DC?” I asked.

“Yeah we’re moving to DC.” She and I were both visibly excited at the idea of moving somewhere new and being able to move in together. When we were younger and living in Brooklyn, we used to dream of the places we’d go someday. We got to visit so many cities for my tour, but this was something completely different. I honestly never thought I’d have the means to just suddenly move across states like this. Maddi had already been living a life like this with the Starks for decades, but it was all very new to me to have so much money to spare. It felt impossible that I’d ever run out, but I knew to still be careful with it. Money was temporary, and it wasn’t something I was raised to put true value in besides the necessary roof over our heads and dinner at our table. “I’ll start looking at places online that could be convenient for the both of us,” she added. “We could probably get moved out there just a little past New Years.”

“That sounds perfect,” I told her and meant it wholeheartedly. I was going to get to live together with her again, and I wanted it to be as soon as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this full circles back to the Jackson storyline I had brought up a few times before. It was the part of Maddi’s life that I connected with the Taylor Swift song “Dancing With Our Hands Tied.” I actually have a new song picked out for this moment in time with Maddi and Jackson, and it’s from Taylor Swift’s new album, folklore. The song is “the 1,” and I put the specific lyrics at the top of this chapter along with on the instagram and tumblr account telling the full story behind why I chose it. This whole dynamic was inspired to me by the movie The Age of Adeline. I fell in love with that movie, and it is something I have had in the back of my mind a lot when writing Maddi’s story. Blake Lively and Harrison Ford’s characters are extremely similar to Maddi and Jackson, and I hope it didn’t feel awkward and random to throw it in there. I felt like it was a nice touch to be able to bring that part of her life back in a positive way, to show her that it wasn’t all bad and that she doesn’t have to bury it in her past.


	13. Chapter 13

December 19, 2012

“Tony please tell me you didn’t forget we’re coming over the 23rd?” I spoke to Tony on the phone as I was working on packing up a few boxes in my bedroom.

“Forget? Why would I forget? Of course I didn’t forget,” he replied.

“Well it definitely sounded like you forgot.”

“No, I just forgot that you’re flying commercial during the busiest time of the year for absolutely no reason and that I need to pick you up from the airport.”

“Steve’s never done it before, he thought it would be fun.”

“Oh yeah, it’ll be so much fun for you guys to be bombarded by people who recognize you in the airport. You can always take ‘Air Stark,’ or better yet, get your own private plane,” he teased.

“Maybe another time,” I replied with an eye roll to myself. “So how are you really doing?” I asked him tentatively. Pepper told me over a recent work call that he wasn’t sleeping much, and I wasn’t surprised. Tony had been a great person to talk to about my own issues, and I wanted to make sure I was there for Tony at his low points too. He was a pro at hiding his feelings and making himself worse in the process, and I didn’t want him to go through it alone. 

“Oh come on. Let me guess, Pepper sent you after me?” he asked.

“Maybe I just have a certain intuition when it comes to you,” I countered. After a pause I continued “You know it’s my job to make sure you’re okay? I took that job back in 1970, and maybe I haven’t been the best at it sometimes, but I’m not about to neglect it right now.”

He sighed through the phone. “I’m glad you’re coming over for Christmas,” he said quietly. “I don’t know, it’s been a weird year without you here, Maddi. And now with The Mandarin, and you’re moving in with Steve in DC… it’s just that there’s a very few amount of people in my life that I need to keep safe at all costs, and it’s getting harder to do so.”

“When you were really little, you built circuit boards,” I began my response as I thought back to those memories long ago.

“Okay I know I’ve always been amazing, but I think this is a little off topic,” he replied.

“You were tiny,” I continued. “When everyone else your age was playing with legos, you were playing with circuit boards. Do you know how dangerous that is for a tiny child? But you were good at it, you were so smart and knew exactly what you were doing after just one time of watching your father work. If I had my way, I would have kept the dangerous electricital equipment far from your little hands, but you knew what you were doing. When I helped raise you, I could have spent the entire time protecting you from all the dangers of the world that I saw, but then you would have never gotten to experience the world to your potential.” Tony stayed quiet after I gave my little story. I decided to speak again to bring my point back. “Even if nobody in our lives were superheroes, there would always be something that could keep us awake at night. The world is a dangerous place, and we can’t guarantee anyone’s safety. Sometimes we just have to take a break from thinking of all the dangers or else it will eat away at the good parts of our lives…. I learned that in therapy,” I added with a laugh.

“Well I’m glad that’s working out for you,” he said.

“It is, you should try it, I highly recommend.”

“Hmmm maybe.”

“Just try and get some rest,” I told him. “We’ll be there in a few days, we’ll have a wonderful Christmas. Don’t try to put the safety of everyone on your shoulders because you cannot keep carrying it all without it breaking you.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


December 22, 2012

“Steve there was an attack in LA, Tony texted me that Happy is in the hospital,” I told him as I turned on the news. There were reporters outside of a hospital, and I was trying to call Tony while I watched but he wasn’t picking up. 

“What are they saying?” Steve asked as he stood next to me in front of the TV. 

_ “We’re waiting the arrival of Tony Stark. We’re hoping he’ll give us the reaction, his reaction, to the latest attack,”  _ The woman in front of the camera said.

“He must be in there, he’s not picking up his phone,” I told Steve.

_ “Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark! Our sources are telling us that all signs point to another Mandarin attack. Anything else you can tell us?” _

I could see he was ignoring their questions until another reporter nearby caught his attention.  _ “Hey Mr. Stark, when is somebody gonna kill this guy?”  _ Tony turned around to look in his direction. “ _ I’m just saying,”  _ he added and I scoffed. 

“No regards to the fact that he just walked out from visiting someone who is basically family that got hurt from this attack. I hate reporters,” I angrily voiced.

_ “Is that what you want?” _ Tony snapped at him and nobody else on the live feed spoke a word. I held my breath, I could see how hurt Tony was and I was worried for his reaction being broadcasted.  _ “Here’s a little holiday greeting I’ve been wanting to send to the Mandarin. “I just didn’t know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I’m not afraid of you. I know you’re a coward. So I’ve decided that you just died, pal. I’m gonna come get the body. There’s no politics here, just good old fashioned revenge. There’s no Pentagon, it’s just you and me. And on the off chance you’re a man, here’s my home address. 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”  _ He took the man’s phone and asked.  _ “That’s what you wanted right?” _ he threw the phone at a brick wall and said  _ “Bill me.”  _ before driving away. I sank into the sofa sitting behind me as I blocked off the rest of the reporters’ ramblings. 

“Maddi?” Steve sat next to me trying to get my attention but I just kept staring blankly in front of me. 

“Dammit!” I yelled as I chucked the remote at the wall next to the TV. I didn’t care if it broke or not, I was just scared and angry and needed to throw something. “How could he be so stupid?” 

After Steve’s failed attempt at calming me down and several missed calls made to Tony again, I finally was able to reach him.

“Don’t be mad,” was his greeting when he finally answered the phone.

“Don’t be mad?!” I asked him in shock. “I’m well past mad, Tony! You and Pepper are getting on your plane and coming here immediately.” 

“That’s not happening, the safest place for us is right here-”

“Are you kidding me, Tony? The entire world knows exactly where you are right now, there is absolutely no way you can think that is the safest place for you. You are coming to New York and that is final.”

“Maddi,” he began but I cut him off again.

“Please Tony,” I started to cry and Steve grabbed my hand in support. “I need you here, you should understand that.”

_ “Is that Maddi?” _ I heard Pepper’s voice in the background and soon she took the phone from Tony. “Maddi, we’re coming to you okay, cancel your flight here, it’s Christmas in New York this year.” I could tell she was just as on edge as I was, and rightfully so. 

“Thank you, Pepper,” I told her.

“I’m packing now, we’ll be out of here within the hour,” she replied.

“I love you both, please just get here quickly and safely,” I told her.

“Of course,” she said and then hung up before Tony could begin arguing through the phone again. I put my head in my hands as I felt my heart race.

“They’re gonna get here,” Steve reassured me.

“What do you know about the Mandarin Steve?” I asked him.

“Honestly, not as much as I wish I did. SHIELD has information on him, but the Department of Defense is the lead source on him. SHIELD won’t let me in on the job yet because they’re trying to keep it in the military’s hands for now.” I sighed as I wish he could have given me more. 

I looked back at the TV, which I had on but muted, and saw the news focused live on Tony’s house in Malibu. Soon their focus was on what appeared to be a missile heading straight for the house. “Steve!” I shouted as I stood back up and pointed at the TV. Within seconds the entire house began to blow up. I jumped at what I saw, knowing that Pepper and Tony were still in there. “Oh my god,” I brought my shaking hand up to my mouth.

“Dear god,” Steve said at the same time and brought me into his chest. 

“Oh my god, oh my god,” I just kept repeating as I looked away from the screen because I didn’t know what else to say. Steve wrapped his arms around me.

* * *

  
  
  


December 23, 2012

“Maddi?”

“Oh thank god,” I felt more tears run down my face as I heard Pepper’s voice over the phone. I had been up all night trying to figure out if her or Tony were okay. The news was claiming that Tony had died, but I didn’t want to believe it until I had proof. “How are you? Where are you? Are you okay? Is Tony there?”

“I”m okay I think,” she replied. “Tony isn’t here, but he left a message in his suit, he’s okay. I don’t know where he is, but I have someone here who can help me find him and help him.”

“Do you need my help, Steve and I can help,” I told her.

“No, there’s not enough time and it’s too dangerous to even be talking about it on the phone right now. I’ll try to call you later to update you.”

“Please be careful Pepper,” I said. 

“I’ll try my best,” she responded and then the line went dead.

“He’s alive,” I told Steve and he nodded. He had been in communication with SHIELD all night trying to get more information. Neither of us could just put on a suit and go fight the bad guys when we didn’t even know where to go or what to expect. SHIELD didn’t want us getting involved so it was really hard for him to get anything that could help us go anyway. I hated that all we could do once again was wait, and I knew that Steve hated it just as much.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


December 25, 2012

I ran into the wing of the Hospital that Tony and Pepper were supposed to be in, and I saw James Rhodes standing outside what I figured was their room. I wrapped him in a big hug when I got to him, and Steve stood next to me. “How are you, how are they?” I asked quickly.

“I’m good, they’re gonna be okay.” he responded as he opened the door and Tony was sitting pretty banged up on the bed with Pepper looking surprisingly unscratched next to him.

“I hate you,” I said as I started crying once again and ran to his bedside to give him a gentle hug.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” he replied.

“This is not the first Christmas with all of us together that I wanted,” I said as I pulled away from our hug.

“Ah this is nothing, you’ve seen me in worse shape,” he told me.

“Yeah I know, and I would like it to stop being the norm around here,” I replied.

“You’re not the only one,” Pepper added. 

“I’m really glad you guys are okay,” I said again. “Has anyone heard any word on Happy?” I asked. 

“He still hasn’t woken up yet but the doctors are hopeful,” James said. 

“Okay, that’s good,” I voiced. “I’m gonna visit him as soon as I can, I have to give him his Christmas gift too,” I smiled.

“Speaking of,” Steve spoke up with his own smile. “We brought a few small things with us, it is still Christmas and we are really glad that we’re here together to have at least a small celebration. I think these last few days showed us how much we can appreciate the small things and just that we have each other on this holiday.”

“Alright, ‘It’s A Wonderful Life,’ enough with the sappy talk and just hand over the presents,” Tony teased.

“He’s never seen that movie,” I gave Tony a light push to knock it off. 

“Ow!” Tony replied.

“Oh so you’re too in pain for that but not too in pain for your teasing nicknames? Maybe you’re in too much pain for your gift?” I questioned.

“No no, I’ll stop,” he said and I laughed. Seeing him okay after everything that had happened was a huge relief. I had been a complete mess the last few days and I felt a little less stressed knowing that they were okay.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


December 29, 2013

“Are you sure about this?” I asked as Tony was about to go under anesthesia for his surgery.

“100%,” he replied. “It’s time to let my body no longer need this little device to keep me alive. We figured out how to get all the pieces out, it’ll be safer for me to be living without shrapnel in my chest.”

“I know, I know. I’m just worried over nothing. Your surgery will go great and everyone will be happier with that out of you for good,” I said while poking his mini arc reactor. “I’m just surprised you are doing it so soon.”

“Why wait?” he said. “I figured it out, let’s fix everything as soon as possible so we can get on with our lives.”

“You’re right, I’ll shut up now and let the doctors do their best work.” I waited with Pepper and James for the end of his surgery. Steve got called in for some last minute SHIELD work, probably wrapping up everything with Killian now that more information about the entire Mandarin ruse was found out. 

“He’s gonna be fine just like he always is,” James stated and I nodded. “The guy’s basically indestructible.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Pepper responded.

“Oh of course not,” he laughed. “His ego and tendency to disregard his safety is high enough.”

“Definitely,” I said with a chuckle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put the Tony/Maddi edit in this chapter again because it was such a Tony centered chapter. I thought it was best to include the events of Iron Man 3 in this story because of how important he is to Maddi, she wouldn’t have ignored it. I also have seen debate over whether it took place Christmas 2012 or 2013 but I just decided to go with 2012 because it makes most sense to me that way. I hope you liked it, I didn’t want to spend too much time on it but still give it enough attention. Let me know any of your thoughts! Thanks for still reading, I love updating for you guys!


	14. Chapter 14

March 21, 2013

“I wanna visit Peggy,” Steve said over dinner at our new apartment in DC. We had moved in January, and I told him that Peggy was in a nursing home in DC a while ago. I knew he was nervous to actually see her again. They were great friends in the 40s, and it would be heartbreaking for him to see her at such an old age. I had seen her a couple times since we moved, I loved how much easier it was with me living in the same city. It had been a while since I had seen her before we moved, but I didn’t want to waste any more time I could have with my friend of so many years. Our relationship was steady for decades, and although she got confused sometimes with her deteriorating memory, we still had a good friendship. 

“That’s wonderful! I was actually planning to go this Wednesday, would you like to come with me?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Do you think it might not be good for her, it might confuse her more?”

“I think it’ll be okay. Really, she cared about you a lot and it would make her really happy to see you. I tell her about you and she understands that you haven’t visited her because you’ve been taking your time adjusting.”

“I’m so glad I have you with me, I don’t know what I would have done if you were like Peggy or even worse like Bucky or Howard.”

“I know,” I say with a sad smile. I sometimes forget how fresh Steve’s wounds are from losing some of the most important people in his life. I still missed them too, but it was different for him. I also had made a family with what I still had. I hoped that Steve was adjusting well into the lives of those I cared about like Tony and now once again with Peggy in her older age. “She’ll have lots of pictures to show you, I’m sure,” I tried to get him excited about the trip. “She keeps some up in her room, a few I think you haven’t even seen of me from the 50s.”

“That’ll be fun to look at. I’m really glad you two became such good friends after I was gone.”

“Yeah me too. It would have been a lot harder without her.”

“I’ll have to thank her for being there for you when I couldn’t,” he smiled and so did I. I didn’t want to think about how Peggy’s years were numbered; she was really the only constant I had since the 40s. I was so grateful to have had her for so long and was happy she was able to have such a big family who loved her. I had met some of them, but most under different aliases. She thought it was best for less people to know who I really was, and Howard’s family was already too much for her comfort sometimes. I had wished that I could have gotten to know her family better but I knew she was just trying to protect me. I got to meet a few more recently and tell them the truth, but her family was very big by now, I really only knew most of them through her stories and pictures.

“I can’t wait to go now, it’ll be really fun to have you there!” 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


June 8, 2013 (STEVE’S POV)

Maddi and I were carrying in groceries when we noticed that someone was bringing in boxes into the empty apartment across from ours. 

“Hey, you two must be my neighbors,” a blond woman with two boxes in her arms said to us with a smile. 

“Oh yeah, I’m Steve, this is Maddi,” I greeted with a smile. “Let us put these inside and then we could help you if you have any more boxes,” I told her.

“You don’t have to do that, I just wanted to say hello,” she replied.

“No it’s alright, let me get those, Mads, I’ll catch up with you two downstairs.” I took the bags from Maddi and carried them in. By the time I was done, they weren’t in the hall anymore but downstairs getting her remaining boxes. 

“I’m Kate, by the way,” she said with her hand out towards me to shake. “I told Maddi after you dashed into your apartment but I didn’t get a chance to tell you.” 

“Nice to meet you, Kate,” I replied as I shook her hand. 

“There’s not much more I need to carry in, I had help with the big stuff earlier. Thanks to both of you for helping out.”

“Not a problem,” Maddi said with a smile. “Kate was telling me she’s a nurse over at George Washington University Hospital.”

“Oh wow that’s great,” I said. 

“If you ever want to come over for dinner or something, you’d be more than welcome,” Maddi added.

“Yeah it’s nice to see friendly neighbors,” I stated.

“I’m sure neighbors aren’t as friendly as they used to be,” she let out with a laugh. “I’m sorry, I should have said earlier that I know who you guys are.” 

“It’s no problem, it happens a lot,” Maddi said.

“Actually neighbors were more nosy than friendly back when we were younger. Most people seem to just keep to themselves now,” I explained.

“Well I hope I didn’t seem too nosy when approaching you,” she joked.

“Not at all,” I assured her.

“Well thanks again for helping with my stuff, I’ll have to start unpacking now so I’ll see you two around?”

“Yeah, have a nice day, Kate,” Maddi said as we went back to our place.

“You too,” she replied before closing her own door.

“She seemed really familiar,” Maddi said once we were back in our apartment. 

I tried to think if she looked familiar to me before saying “I didn’t recognize her.”

“I don’t know, I just felt like I had seen her before. Maybe I’m going crazy,” she dismissed as we began to put away our groceries. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


August 30, 2013

I walked into the office of Alexander Pierce at SHIELD headquarters. I had received a call if I could meet with him in person to discuss matters of SHIELD that Nick Fury hadn’t given to me the previous year. I was confused on what he meant, but after bringing it up to Steve, I decided to go. Steve asked if I wanted him there with me, he seemed concerned at the sudden interest to meet me. 

_ “I’ve never even met Pierce,” he said after I told him about the call I received. “Why would he want to speak to you, he’s head of The World Security Council.” _

_ “I’d consider myself a very important person outside of my relation to you, Steve. Why is it so strange that someone else important wants to talk with me?” _

_ “That’s not what I meant, it just feels a bit off. You don’t really interact with SHIELD, I’m actually employed by them.” _

_ “I think I can handle whatever it might be.” _

I thought about our conversation as I was greeted by Pierce. “Dr. Rogers,” he said as he stood up from his desk and shook my hand. “Thank you so much for meeting with me.”

“It’s a pleasure, Secretary Pierce, but I still feel like I’m mostly in the dark about why you wanted to meet with me. I haven’t really been as involved in your area of work since the battle of New York,” told him as I took a seat in front of his desk.

“Ah yes, but your reveal to the world came as quite a shock to everyone. SHIELD had extensive files of you up until your presumed death in 1958. I believe Howard Stark was the main reason your disappearance from us was such a success, and of course, Tony Stark for keeping us in the dark until your announcement.” His words seemed to imply that he didn’t know at all about who I really was until I told everyone myself. I was confused by this because I was sure that when Nick Fury confronted me, other important SHIELD members knew who I was too. Maybe he had kept it a secret between him, Natasha, and Phil after all. Those were really the only people I interacted with about the matter. I just assumed it was a SHIELD discovery, not a discovery of three people. Maybe I was too quick to judge them in some aspects.

“Well that was the plan, I’m glad to see it was so successful. But may I ask, why would your files on me be so ‘extensive’? I highly doubt the wife of Captain America would warrant it, especially in a time when women weren’t seen much past who their husbands were.” I felt a natural suspicion to his information on me and why I was there. Just because I had a feeling he and most of SHIELD didn’t know about my fake death and fake identities for so many decades, didn’t mean that they couldn’t have had insight that I didn’t want them to have.

“You were one of the forming members of this organization, I’m sure that warrants us to hold you to some degree of importance here.”

“Nobody really talks about me being there since the beginning. If they did, then they would focus more on the values I tried to instill. Freedom, equality, justice.”

“SHIELD still does fight for those things,” he replied.

“When it’s convenient for them,” I said without missing a beat.

He paused at my reply before shifting the conversation back to his original intent. “I brought you in here because we want you to come work for us full time. You could be placed on the same team as Captain Rogers and be trained for missions, but more importantly, we’d like you to join our science division. I know that was your area of expertise in the past, and we can also have our top scientists help you figure out why exactly you have the enhanced abilities that you do.”

I was surprised that was the reason he wanted to see me. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it. “Mr. Secretary, I’ve had more than enough lab work done on my by both Howard and Tony, I don’t need SHIELD getting involved. I appreciate the entire offer, but I have a job I enjoy, and going on missions is Steve’s thing. I haven’t kept up to date in my field of study to work in your labs, I believe the fact that people still call me Dr. is purely symbolic choice and doesn’t hold much meaning to me at this point in my life anymore. I’m sorry for having to turn it all down, but it’s just going to have to be a no.”

“Have you ever thought that with more than just a Stark’s mind working on you, you could finally figure out everything behind your abilities?” He questioned. “With the best scientists in the world, we could figure all of it out and help you perfect it. You could be stronger, faster, heal without having to feel the pain at all in the first place. We could also help you start aging again. You wouldn’t have to keep watching the people you love grow old without you.” I could tell what he was trying to do, and I couldn’t help but feel very uneasy by his words. He was hitting at all the emotional tolls that came along with not aging. Of course I wanted his final offer, but I didn’t know this man. I wasn’t naive enough to trust he could provide what he promised without knowing that I would need to give something in return. If I let SHIELD figure this out for me, they’d expect me to work for them. I didn’t want any of that, and I didn’t trust people I’ve never met before to start doing tests and taking data on me. 

“Thank you, for the offer, but I’ve come to terms with who I am. I won’t be changing my mind anytime soon, so I think you’ll just have to make due without me.” I stood up to leave because I didn’t want to continue a conversation I knew wasn’t going anywhere. “I hope you have a nice day, I think I’ll head out now.”

“Dr. Rogers,” I could feel that his tone had shifted. “It’s only a matter of time before the American people decide that both you and Captain Rogers are a danger to society. We can protect him as a SHIELD agent, but I can’t say the same for you.”

“I think I’ll take my chances,” I said and then walked out of his office. The security personnel who escorted me up was still waiting and he took me down to the main floor and out the door without a word. I knew I was making the right choice, Pierce’s threat did not sit well with me, and I wanted to talk about it with Steve as soon as he got home from his day of work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooo, okay so I know that this was kinda a shorter chapter, but I really wanted to end it there. What did you guys think? About their new neighbor, wink wink? Or about her interaction with Pierce...? I also excused it being slightly shorter than I wanted because I’ve been keeping up with my quick updating schedule, and I don’t plan to stop! Please review, I’ve been working hard to get these written for you guys! Predictions are always fun to read too, so let me know if you have any! Next chapter will get into at least the beginning of TWS plot.


	15. Chapter 15

_ And you'll leave, got places to be _

_ And I'll be OK _

_ I always forget to tell you I love you, I loved you from the very first day _

_ I watch superman fly away _

_ You've got a busy day today _

_ Go save the world I'll be around _

_ And I watch superman fly away _

_ Come back I'll be with you someday _

_ I'll be right here on the ground _

_ When you come back down _

_ -”Superman” by Taylor Swift _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


February 3, 2014

I was reading an article on my phone that was about Steve and I. We had been living in DC for over a year, and I was surprised to see something circulating about us because nothing interesting enough had happened in our lives since the move for the media to focus on. This one was discussing the dangers behind not hearing anything interesting from us in so long. No matter what we did, or didn’t do, there was clearly a story for it. I didn’t want to give the story much attention or credit, but I had seen it more and more recently. It was being passed around online enough for most people to have an opinion on it. Apparently our decision to try to live quietly and out of the spotlight was not the correct one. It made us look suspicious, like we had something to hide. America didn’t want the boring couple representing them, they wanted action and something to talk about every week. I sighed as I closed the article and thought about how Steve constantly told me to ignore all news related to us. 

I wasn’t good at it like he was. He could easily avoid looking at gossip/media about us, but I always couldn’t help it. Maybe his still beginners approach to the internet and modern media was what helped, but sometimes I spent hours looking at what people said about us. It was certainly very toxic for my mental health sometimes, and it was why Steve always tried to get me to stop. However, he was currently on another mission and so he wasn’t around to remind me to stay away from it. It also didn’t help with how much I missed him every time he had to leave. I thought about our goodbye this time. 

_ “Don’t forget about me while you’re gone,” I teased as he stood in our doorway, ready to leave. He chuckled in response and kissed me lightly on the lips. _

_ “How could I forget a face so beautiful?” _

_ “Wow, it’s been about 75 years and you still know how to make me blush.” _

_ “And you still put up with me leaving for work,” he looked down as he spoke. I knew he felt guilty sometimes about how demanding his job could be, but I tried to reassure him that I could handle it. After all, I handled decades without him before. _

_ “Well Captain America has to go save the world,” I joked to hide how I was actually really sad to let him leave. “I’ll be okay, and I’ll always be here waiting for you to get back.” _

_ “And I’ll always come back,” he promised and I smiled to mask the fact that I didn’t believe he could keep that promise forever.  _

Knowing that he could be gone from any trip, I felt like I was never able to tell him I loved him enough. I didn’t understand how much I still needed him in my life until he was back from the dead. Anything could ruin what we got back, and I didn’t need public opinion to be added to that list. As hard as it was for me to stay away, Steve’s approach was the best way to not let it affect us. I had to try to do better in that aspect.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


April 25, 2014 (STEVE’S POV)

Maddi and I walked into the brand new Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian Museum. They had created this official exhibit after bringing together much of what they had at other museums across the US about World War II and information they learned about me since. Maddi was included in it, but it’s sole purpose was about me because of my long history of being America’s first superhero. We tried to keep a low profile, but that doesn’t work very well when there are pictures of you on every wall. We were nice to those who approached us, gave a few pictures, and soon we were left alone long enough to look at the exhibit ourselves. 

“I guess this is where most of your stuff ended up. Museums like to do that, steal from the people they’re ‘honoring’ and call it education,” Maddi said bitterly as we looked at some of the authentic photographs from my life displayed on the wall about my childhood. Maddi told me about all the personal items her and Peggy tried to hide after we were both ‘dead.’ I never saw museums in that negative light before, but seeing it done to me did make it seem like an accurate description. These were my rare pictures and drawings I had as a child and teenager. I understood that I was an important part of America’s history, but couldn’t they have the exhibit without a section displaying my favorite childhood stuffed animal? I remember wanting to pass that on to my own child one day, but it sadly looked like I wasn’t getting it back anytime soon. However, I wasn’t sure if I would ever have a kid of my own either at this point. Maddi didn’t know the worn out bear was that important to me, I had it kept away in an old box pretty much the entire time I knew her, so I understood why it wasn’t one of the items she hid away. I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want to make her more upset about the situation. We moved on to look at other portions of the exhibit. 

“It’s so strange to see your own life from the perspective of people you’ve never met,” I said as we made our way to the wall dedicated to my relationship with Maddi. It was written down about how we met, it played the video of her speaking about me after I had died. The wall also gave information about how we reunited, but the information they had to go off of was very limited. It speculated Maddi’s abilities, but we didn’t give them much to work with. 

“Yes, it surely it is,” she replied as she read the plaque in front of a photo of us recovered from before I had the serum. I looked ridiculous sitting next to Maddi, with how beautiful she was. However, she held my hand and had a wide smile on her face and was never ashamed of being with me. I remembered the day we took it, at the diner she worked at while she was going to school. We were around 20 years old and the owner wanted to take the picture because it was Maddi’s birthday. He placed it on his wall of best employees. Maddi used to proudly point it out to fellow employees and regular customers when they asked her about her love life. All the plaque below it said was  _ Steven Rogers and Madeline Bennett before the Super Soldier Experiment _ . There was so much more story behind every picture displayed here and they would never have their stories properly told. They were the types of photos that should be in albums to be shown to family members, all reminiscing about their life. I think about how maybe that’s what could have been with photos like this if I had never joined the army. 

We eventually turned our attention to the memorial to Bucky in the middle of the room. I sadly smiled as Maddi took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You think he’d be doing a better job than me adjusting to modern life?” I joked to mask how sad I was that he wasn’t there.

“I don’t know, I think you’d both be having an equally hard time and I would just get to sit back and laugh at the two of you,” she quipped back. 

“Oh I know you’d get a kick out of that,” I laughed genuinely in return.

“I think he’d be proud of everything you’ve done and are still doing. Not just the Captain America stuff, but all the other hard stuff of life,” she looked up at me and gave me a soft smile.

“I think he’d be more proud of you,” I told her. “You were like another sister to him. He’d be glad that you made a good life for yourself after so many years of pain. I’m glad and proud of you, so he would have to be too.” 

* * *

  
  
  
  


May 2, 2014

“Wow, you’re never up this early. You want to go on a run with me?” Steve asked as I sat on our sofa on my laptop. I had a flight to catch to New York in the later morning for a conference with Stark Industries, so I wanted to get up early and get some final work done for the presentation I was giving to launch our next outreach project. I would be there for the rest of the week to work with the others involved.

“Steve, a run with you is really just a run by myself as I watch you sprint way ahead of me. I may have super cells that quickly heal themselves, but my athleticism is mediocre at best.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun! We can run around the National Mall, I’ll try to stay back with you.”

“No, no,” I replied with a laugh as I closed my laptop. “I’ll come with, but I won’t make you run at what you’d probably consider snail pace just to make me feel better.” He laughed in return and waited for me to get dressed to run. We both left and walked to the National Mall, thinking the extra exercise to get there wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“I told Natasha to pick me up from there for our mission today,” he told me as we were almost there. They worked more and more together since he joined SHIELD, so it wasn’t uncommon that they would drive together to headquarters before an assignment. I had actually begun to like her a bit more over time. It was obviously helpful to have the shared experience of New York with her, but I also begun to realize she wasn’t terrible like I originally made her out to be. She had her secrets and seemed to be unemotional to most, but I could tell that she did have care in her heart sometimes. 

“That’s fine, I’ll probably head back for a shower and then catch my plane to New York. I guess we’ll see each other when we’re both back home again,” I said.

“Yes we will.” we started our run and of course he was immediately way ahead of me in our usual route. We had gone running together before in DC, and I just laughed to myself about how it always goes this way. He would do the large loop we mapped out 4 or 5 times while I do it just once and then we’d meet up when we were both finished.

“Look at him go!” I yelled after he passed me the first time. “That is my husband, everyone! I have the marriage certificate to prove it!” I shouted the second time he passed me. “Stay back ladies and gentlemen, that heroic athlete is all mine!” I jested again the third time he passed me. Every time I heard him approach from behind, I would start cheering silly things to try and make him laugh. He could never help but at least smile. 

“Don’t say it, don’t you say it!” I heard a man yell from behind me and then I heard Steve’s voice.

“On your left,” he said as the two approached me.

“Oh come on!” the other man said as they both passed me, Steve first. I laughed thinking Steve probably passed him before and said his usual warning before the passes. This was the fourth time he passed me and the sun had risen for the day by then. I was so thrown off by their interaction that I didn’t get in my own joke before they were too far. I finally caught up to them by a tree near the road in front of the Capitol Building. Steve was writing down in his small notebook he keeps around. He had shown it to me of the things people recommend he looks up to be caught up to current times. I was happy to help him through the list when we both had the time together to do so. He was probably given something to look up by the man from our run.

“Is he giving you a hard time over here?” I asked the man standing in front of Steve. “Cause I can make him leave you alone if you want. There’s really no worth talking to him anyway.”

“Haha,” Steve said sarcastically. “This is Sam,” he introduced. “Sam, I think you would know, this is Maddi.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said shaking his hand. “You threw me off back there when you two passed me with your own little race. Usually I like to slow him down a little by making silly outcries as he passes me.”

“Do you put up with him running like that every morning?” Sam asked with a laugh.

“Oh no, it’s rare that he gets me to come out this early for a run. I just keep to my own pace and let him do whatever makes him happy whenever I do tag along.” Steve’s phone went off and he checked it before looking back at us both.

“Well, duty calls. Thanks for the run, Sam. If that’s what you wanna call running.” he said as he shook his hand goodbye.

“Oh that’s how it is?” Sam asked.

“Oh that’s how it is.”

“Okay. Anytime you wanna stop by the VA and make me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know.”

“Oh he’d love to go sometime,” I chimed in. “I’ve been trying to get him to check it out.” 

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Steve replied with a chuckle. 

“Hey guys, any of you know where the Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil,” Natasha Romanoff said as she pulled up in a car on the side of the road with her window down. “Of course, not you, Maddi, you’re looking lovely today,” she teased some more. 

“That’s hilarious,” Steve replied with sarcasm. 

“Good to see you, Nat,” I waved and then turned to face Steve. “Be safe, please. I’ll see you when I get home?” I asked

“Yeah, I’ll be back before you.” he wrapped his arms around me for a hug and then kissed me goodbye. I gave him one last big hug after our kiss and then he got in the car.

“Can’t run everywhere,” Steve said to Sam through the open window.

“No you can’t,” he replied before they drove away.

“Are you two always off saving the world?” Sam asked me once Steve was gone.

“That’s mostly Steve’s thing. It’s much more rare for me. I help with the big stuff, like ‘aliens coming out of a portal in the sky’ big stuff.”

“Makes sense, save the big guns for the big threats,” he responded.

“Exactly,” I laughed.

“I gotta head back to my place, I have a plane to catch in a few hours. I hope to see more of you, Sam, Steve needs more friends. Especially non-SHIELD friends. Don’t tell him I said that,” I added quickly at the end. We said goodbye and I went back home to get ready for my trip.

* * *

  
  
  
  


May 5, 2014

It was very early in the morning, so early that I was actually still awake from the previous day, when I finally made it back to DC. I had been working the entire flight and never checked my phone until I landed and saw missed messages from Steve. He was currently at the hospital, Nick Fury had been shot and was in critical condition. I quickly got a cab to take me there. I quickly made my way to the area Steve told me to meet him in. I was stopped by a SHIELD agent from going any further.

“I need to see your badge for clearance to enter,” the man told me.

“I don’t work for SHIELD, I just need-”

“Then I can’t let you in,” the man responded without letting me finish.

“I was told to come here because-”

“You’re gonna have to wait out here,” he cut me off again.

“She’s with me, Rumlow,” I heard Steve as he approached the two of us.

“She doesn’t have clearance to enter,” the man told Steve.

“And I’m telling you to let her through,” Steve ordered the man with a sternness in his voice, and with that, I was let through. I looked at Steve with an impressed expression. I knew Steve had a very high clearance, so he probably had permission to do that, but I still admired his ability to give orders that well.

“Are you alright? You weren’t answering any of my calls on my way here,” I told him as he quickly led me to where I assumed Nick was being kept. Steve took around the corner to a smaller hallway that had nobody in it. 

“Fury’s dead,” Steve said quietly.

“What?” I replied, taken aback.

“And he was shot in our apartment,” he added.

“Oh my god,” I whispered in return as my hand went up to cover my mouth. 

“I don’t have much time to explain it all, Fury told me not to trust anyone. Our apartment has been bugged for who knows how long. You’re the only person I know I can trust,” he explained in a very hushed tone. “There’s something big going on, and I’m going to figure out what. Stay with me no matter what, I don’t want either of us alone right now.”

“Of course,” I responded.

“Oh and our neighbor, Kate,” Steve continued. “She was lying to us, she’s not a nurse. She’s a SHIELD agent sent to ‘protect’ us, apparently by Fury.” 

“A SHIELD agent?” I repeated and suddenly it dawned on me who she was. She was Sharon Carter, Peggy’s great niece. I knew I recognized her, she was in one of Peggy’s photo albums. Peggy had told me all about her being a SHIELD agent, she seemed very proud. The name and the profession threw me off, but I was still surprised I didn’t figure it out on my own earlier. Peggy loved her family, she talked about them a lot to me over the years. While Steve probably felt like he barely knew this woman who had been lying to us now, I felt like I knew her better than ever before. I had only ever seen a few photos of her, and most of them were when she was a child or teenager, but I knew so many stories about her growing up and becoming a strong woman. Steve was already heading out the hallway and I followed him as I continued to think about what he said. I didn’t have time to tell him the truth about Kate as we were then standing in the room Nick Fury was being held in after he died. He was lying on the table and Natasha was in front of him. 

We stayed quiet and still in the room until Agent Maria Hill came in and told Steve “I need to take him.”

Steve slowly made his way closer to the two in front of us and said softly “Natasha.” She seemed to say her final silent goodbye to the man that was her mentor and friend before she turned to briskly leave the room. Steve went after her and repeated “Natasha!”

She turned to face him. “Why was Fury in your apartment?” She asked him.

“I don’t know,” Steve replied, shaking his head. Her eyes moved to me, asking the same question without having to say the words.

“I just got here from New York, I didn’t even know he was shot until I landed.”

“Cap, they want you back at SHIELD,” the man from before said before any of us could say anything else.

“Yeah, give me a second,” Steve told him.

“They want you now,” he clarified.

“Okay,” Steve said cautiously in return. I could tell he was on edge, and so was I. He turned back to Natasha and she looked at him closely.

“You’re a terrible liar,” she told him and then turned to me. “You’re a little better at it,” she said before walking away. What I had told her was the truth, but it certainly wasn’t an answer to her question. However, I wasn’t actually sure I knew at all what was going on anyway.

“STRIKE team, escort Captain Rogers back to SHIELD immediately for questioning,” we both heard from behind us. 

“I told him,” we heard a reply as we looked at each other. Steve didn’t trust SHIELD or the people in it at all anymore, it was clear he felt trapped in going back. 

“Stay with me,” he reiterated with concern in his voice.

“I know,” I assured him. He looked around quickly and paused at the open vending machine to our right. The man operating it was turned away opening a few boxes to reload the snacks. I was confused for a moment until Steve swiftly leaned over and placed something small behind a few packs of gum. I glanced around us to make sure nobody saw his actions. He was done so quickly that it didn’t draw any attention before he turned back and we walked towards the door together. I didn’t know what he hid, but I knew it was something he did not want SHIELD to find out he had. I took in a deep breath as we walked towards the other field agents.

“Let’s go,” Steve said. 

“Yeah,” the man, I believed Steve called him Rumlow before, said. “STRIKE team, move out,” he told the rest of the men in the hall before glancing at me. “Rogers, you know the girlfriend can’t come with.” I rolled my eyes at his words.

“The girlfriend,” I started sarcastically while pointing to myself, “would like to know more about why there was a murder in her house.” 

“She’s coming with,” Steve stated unapologetically. With both our comments, Rumlow didn’t make any more attempts to argue. Steve and I made our way to his bike parked outside. There were SHIELD cars that drove by us the entire way to headquarters. It was clear they didn’t want us trying to go anywhere but with them at that point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The full Taylor Swift song explanation with me on my instagram and tumblr. It fits her overall view of Steve and the public view of Steve. I like the idea of DC characters existing in movies and comics and overall fiction in the MCU.


	16. Chapter 16

May 5, 2014

When we arrived at SHIELD, Steve took me with him to change into his uniform. I didn’t ask any questions because I knew it wasn’t safe to talk about anything. It was obvious all eyes and ears were on us the moment we entered the building together, and it was too risky to discuss anything yet. I took the time Steve was changing to lay down on the bench beside him. The sun was already up and I was exhausted. I was planning to fall asleep as soon as I got home from my flight, but Steve’s text had me up and alert to the hospital. I was glad I left my luggage and heels on the Stark Plane. 

I had left New York after the last event Tony hosted for the awareness part of my next project. I spent the evening explaining my plans to fund a nationwide single family household energy reducing upgrade. It would be a way to bring together the innovative energy designs of Stark Industry into the homes of the people who needed it the most. Electricity and gas bills were just as catastrophic to individual families as their effects were to the environment. Why not reduce both by using clean renewable energy to upgrade as many houses as we could afford to in poor areas with energy using hotspots free of charge to the families? Tony loved the idea, Pepper loved the idea after I showed her how we could afford to make the highest impact over the next 4 years, and the Stark Industries Board was finally convinced after our three day conference of working out the flaws they initially found. 

After working nonstop, I had changed into sneakers on the plane to feel more comfortable, but I was still wearing my professional clothes from the day before. I wore slacks and a button down shirt with a blazer. I wanted nothing more than to be in a tshirt and shorts in my own apartment, but I knew I wasn’t getting that anytime soon. 

“How much you wanna bet Pierce forgot we’ve met before? I mean I am just the person he basically threatened less than a year ago, but he seems the type to do that to most people who he calls to his office. I’m sure I’m nothing special there,” I spoke as I turned my head and smiled. Steve was told to go straight to his office after changing. He gave me a side glance that told me he wasn’t in the mood for joking about the situation. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and needed something to smile about.”

Steve sat down next to my head and I sat up and turned towards him. He had a very serious and tired expression himself. He hadn’t gotten any sleep either and he knew more than I did about the situation. It was clearly weighing on him. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze like we usually did to show a silent support for each other. I didn’t know how to show him any other way without getting us in trouble. “I guess I’m just a bit shaken up about how quickly Fury died,” he chose his words carefully and looked at me. “I know you can’t die like he did, but that doesn’t mean someone can’t hurt you.” As he looked into my eyes, I knew what he was trying to say. He was worried SHIELD would try to hurt me. I didn’t know everything he knew, so I didn’t know why SHIELD would have a reason to want to hurt me, but I trusted that Steve knew. He was worried about my safety in and out of SHIELD Headquarters, so I needed to take those concerns seriously.

“Well you know as good as anyone that when I get shot like he did, it barely hurts for very long anymore. Just get through this meeting and we can go to sleep off today’s events.” I paused to try and carefully convey my own secret response to his message to me. “I’ve always trusted you, trust me on this,” I said. It was a vague answer but it seemed to be just the one Steve needed. He nodded, took in a deep breath before squeezing my hand back and standing up. I knew he was still worried, but I was able to reassure him that we could still trust each other and hopefully get out of the building as soon as possible. The longer we were in there, the more likely something dangerous happened. 

The two of us made our way up to Pierce’s office, and when we walked towards the door, he was speaking with Sharon Carter in the hall. They finished up their conversation and she walked towards us to leave as we walked towards the office.

“Captain Rogers,” Sharon said as she walked past the two of us.

“Neighbor,” Steve sharply replied. I remained quiet, still not wanting to draw attention to who she really was yet.

“Oh Captain,” Alexander Pierce greeted Steve. “I’m Alexander Pierce.”

“Sir, it’s an honor,” Steve said while shaking his hand. 

“The honor’s mine, Captain. My father served in the 101st.” He then turned to me. “Dr. Rogers, I was told you were here as well.”

“Yes it’s good to see you again, Mr. Secretary,” I said with a forced smile and a handshake. 

“Yes, yes. I would like to speak with the Captain alone right now. Would you mind taking a seat and waiting out here until we finish up?” He asked me. Steve’s eyes met mine for half a second and we both were on the same page of being worried about that idea. However, there was nothing we could do about it, so I gave a quick nod.

“It’s no problem, I’ll be out here.” The two walked in and the door closed behind them.

I knew I would feel like a sitting duck without Steve right next to me. He was just on the other side of the door, but I didn’t trust the idea of being left here alone until their meeting was over. Pierce didn’t want me in that room for a reason and it was to either get Steve alone or to get me alone. There was nothing I could do to help if it was to get Steve alone, but I needed to make sure I wasn’t setting myself up in a trap if it was to get me alone. I acted quickly by turning towards the only other person in this entire building that I felt like I could maybe put my trust in besides Steve. I knew he didn’t want us trusting anyone but each other, but I didn’t have the ability to stand around and wait for him to maybe come back out of the meeting or maybe be taken elsewhere by another agent without my consent.

“Sharon!” I called as I ran after her. She stopped immediately and turned around.

“So, Great Aunt Peggy does talk about me?” she said with a smile. “Did you know the whole time?”

“No, but I figured it out once Steve said you were an agent and not really a nurse. I think the most recent picture Peggy showed me was of your high school graduation,” I smiled as we talked about Peggy but I soon went back to the reason I went after her. “Is there somewhere we can talk?” I asked just above a whisper. 

She nodded her head carefully. “Come with me,” she said and I followed her down a few floors to a larger room with many agents and screens of their work in front of their desks.

“I wouldn’t consider this private,” I told her as we got to what I assumed was her own chair and monitor. 

“It’s better than private,” she told me quietly after she shut down what I assumed was the audio capture on her computer. It was clear she knew her way around SHIELD tech. “Trust me, it’ll look more suspicious when SHIELD is looking for you on camera. Nobody here is listening to us, I promise.” There wasn’t enough time for me to come up with a better idea, so I decided to trust her once again.

I sat in an empty chair next to hers and she turned to me. “Fury gave something to Steve before he died. He told him not to trust anyone, and I know that probably included me and it definitely included SHIELD. Steve is concerned they’re trying to trap us here, especially after splitting us up. You were my only chance at finding a safe area that could prevent anyone from doing just that. I especially don’t trust Pierce, I just have to hope that Steve can handle himself, there was nothing I could do to prevent more attention drawn to us.”

“Okay, so what else do you know? Do you think Fury is right, that SHIELD is compromised enough to not trust anyone here?” She asked in a continued hushed tone.

“I don’t know. Steve hasn’t gotten enough of a chance to tell me more. He only trusts me right now, and I was in New York this week, I have no idea where any of this even came from. I’m not the agent, this isn’t my area of expertise.”

“I think our best bet is to lay low, pretend we don’t know anything. Even the limited knowledge you do have is enough to get us in trouble. Going back to your apartment isn’t an option right now, and I don’t know if anywhere else you could go at this point that would be safe. Being here, in the open with all these other agents around is the best option. The bad guys can’t do anything too crazy in front of so many others.” I nodded in agreement. 

“I need to figure out how to get back to Steve, maybe we can figure out-”

“Mobilize STRIKE units, 25th floor,” I was cut off by the sound of Agent Sitwell talking into a microphone several screens over from us. As I strained my neck to get a better view of the picture, I noticed it was Steve fighting a group of agents in an elevator. 

“Sharon,” I whispered with concern as she turned her attention to the same screen. 

“You’re not getting to Steve,” she concluded. “We stick to the original plan, you know nothing and you stick with me.” her voice was so soft that even I barely heard her. I agreed with her silently, but I also knew that I needed to find a way to still help Steve. I decided using cluelessness was the key to giving him the best chance at escaping.

“Excuse me,” I said loudly at Sitwell. “Why are you sending agents to violently pursue my husband?” I got his attention for a second before he looked back at the screen. Steve had landed in the middle of the main lobby after falling from the elevator. It was clear the fall took a toll on his body, but he still got up and began to run. 

“Are you kidding me?” Sitwell exclaimed. “He’s headed for the garage, lock down the bridge.” He spoke once again into the mic.

“Agent Sitwell, is there someone above you who I can get some answers from?” I continued to attempt to get his attention. 

“Dear God, this has nothing to do with you, Rogers. Your husband isn’t who you think he is and if you don’t want to be in trouble either, I suggest you stay out of our way right now.”

“Maddi, this isn’t a good idea,” Sharon brought me back to her desk. “Look, he’s getting away, it’s important that we worry about you right now.” I looked back at the screen that was now watching the bridge as Steve was successfully getting past all the barriers SHIELD set up for him. I reluctantly kept quiet to help preserve my own well being. 

“Eye’s here,” Sitwell announced to the entire room a few moments later, Steve had gotten away and his profile was displayed on the main monitors in the room. The agents in the room were all standing at this point, confused at the sudden turn on America’s hero. “Whatever your op is, bury it. This is Level One. Contact DOT. All traffic lights in the district go red. Shut all runways at BWI, IAD, and Reagan. All security cameras in the city go through this monitor right here. Scan all open sources, phones, computers, PDAs, whatever. If someone tweets about this guy, I want to know about it.”

Sharon spoke up first,” with all due respect, if SHIELD is conducting a man hunt for Captain America, we deserve to know why.” I could tell others in the room agreed with her. 

“Because he lied to us,” I heard Pierce’s voice come from the other end of the room. All attention went to him. “Captain Rogers has information regarding the death of Director Fury. HE refused to share it. As difficult as this is to accept, Captain America is a fugitive from SHIELD.”

“Sir, we found him. He’s at 21st and F,” a woman spoke up after her computer beeped. 

“Pursue that and get back to me. Everyone, do your assigned jobs, we need him back here.” he finished addressing the room and I looked at Sharon, trying to decide what to do. I was surprised I hadn’t been asked to leave the room when they were discussing the capture of Steve, but that feeling had left when I heard Pierce speak again. “Dr. Rogers.” I took in a deep breath and turned back towards him. “I need to ask you some questions, would you mind coming with me?”

I stood a bit straighter and responded “With all due respect, sir, I think I do mind.” I noticed that I was drawing attention to myself again, and I wasn’t sure if that was good or not. It was clear that a suspicion of guilt was directed at me as I spoke, but I also wasn’t about to be taken to a room alone with anyone who was behind trying to capture Steve. He walked closer to me, so he didn’t have to speak as loudly. I also had a feeling it was to intimidate me. I tried my best to keep my face and posture unaffected. 

“Dr. Rogers, you understand that your husband being a fugitive does not look good on your own record. Not to mention you have a history of lying and keeping secrets from SHIELD. I think it’s in your best interest to be as cooperative as possible right now.”

  
  


“And I think it’s within my rights to have a lawyer here before I speak anymore with you.”

“Nobody’s arresting you,” he challenged my words.

“You can never be too careful,” I replied. “I’ve been in New York for the past 3 days, Nobody here, including Steve, has told me anything about why Fury was murdered in my home. I think I’ll be staying right here until I’m allowed to get a lawyer.” I sat down in the chair next to Sharon’s desk, hoping that I wouldn’t be forcibly taken to another room. Pierce looked around and saw some other agents quickly look at their own monitors to act as if they weren’t listening. To my relief, he seemed to think it would look bad to get his STRIKE team over to carry me out, that was the only way I would be leaving that spot with him. 

“Alright, but we’ll provide your lawyer, it’ll be faster that way. You keep an eye on her,” he directed at Sharon. I was surprised he had faith that she would follow those orders the way he intended. It actually gave me a moment of panic thinking that maybe Sharon wasn’t someone I should be trusting. But as soon as Pierce was gone, she reassured me.

“Whatever lawyer he’s planning to get you is definitely a sham, but it’ll buy us some time,” she told me. “Is there anyone you know who could find a way to sneak you out of here?” 

“I don’t know. I barely know these people. I had a couple days' interaction with them in New York 2 years ago, I doubt I have much of a connection with anyone.”

“Pierce is being called into a meeting with the World Security Council, maybe that’ll distract him enough for us to figure something out.” She was working on her computer and figuring and getting as much information as she could. 

Time went by, and I didn’t know how to help in my own escape plan. I had already drawn too much attention to myself, that simply getting in a car and driving off wasn’t going to happen without someone else’s help, but I didn’t know if I would be able to find that beyond Sharon. 

“You called me?” I heard a familiar voice say and I looked up to see Agent Maria Hill walking towards Sitwell. 

“About an hour ago. Where have you been?” he responded while looking at the main screen in front of him. I hadn’t been paying attention much to their hunt of Steve, apart from making sure he still wasn’t caught yet. He had avoided them twice now, so I was beginning to worry less about him. He knew what he was doing. 

“Arranging a funeral,” Hill responded. It made Sitwell pause for a moment. I continued to watch their interaction in secret. Hill was close to Fury, maybe she was someone who could get me out of SHIELD Headquarters. 

“Sorry,” Sitwell responded, but remorse wasn’t very clear in his voice. “I was wondering if you knew anything about this.” he addressed the screen that had Natasha with Steve at an Apple Store in some mall. They were clearly using the flashdrive Steve had previously hidden. I was glad he was with a friend while trying to figure this out.

“No, but I’m not surprised. That’s Captain America You’re after,” she said with a smirk. “He tends to inspire a certain amount of loyalty.” She began to walk away and I knew that she was the person I needed to get out. 

“When’s the service?” Sitwell called after her. 

“Friday.”

“As soon as it’s finished, you’re going back to New York.”

That caused her to stop and turn around. “Why?”

“You’re off the investigation. The Director feels your connection to Captain Rogers is a liability. SHIELD demands loyalty too.” After his harsh words, Hill left the room. 

“Where’s the restroom?” asked Sharon quickly and she pointed out the direction Hill went. I set my phone down on her desk. “Keep an eye on things while I’m gone.”

I quickly went out the room and luckily saw Hill enter into the women’s room herself. I went in after her and she turned to face me as soon as I walked in. I paused in surprise as I took a step back. 

“I’m getting you out of here,” she said with her arms crossing her chest. I looked around the room and under the stalls to make sure we were alone, and we were. 

“How did you know I-” I was cut off by her continuing.

“I was informed of you being here. I can’t explain now, but it’s extremely important that you get out before Pierce comes back with his ‘lawyer.’ I have a plan, here’s a change of clothes.” She took out a bag hidden in the ceiling tile above the last stall and then she locked the door to the room. “Change quickly, and then we’re heading to the east parking. You don’t have anything on you that could be tracked? A phone?” I shook my head, still shocked that she had a plan before I even thought of asking for her help.

“I left it with Sharon, I was hoping to find you.” I got out of my work clothes and into something more casual and easier to run in. 

“We can’t leave together, I still need to be able to get back into this place later. I wrote down everything you need to know to get out of here on your own. I’ll be meeting you in the correct car in 15 minutes.” I nodded as I took the paper. “Stay in here for 5 more minutes and then leave. I won’t wait long for you, so make sure you make it on time.”

“Thank you,” I told her and she smiled as she unlocked the main door and made her way out. I reread the instructions to make sure I had it all clear in my mind. I barely knew this place, but I had to be confident I could successfully pull this off. I stuffed my old clothes into the bag and placed it back into the ceiling to hide before using the stall to boost myself up after it. It wasn’t as difficult as I initially thought it would be because of the way the toilet seat, to the toilet paper box, to the top of the stall lined up well for me to climb. After covering the hole with the tile, I used a flashlight from the bag to look at the brief sketch on the paper for me to follow. I was going to be climbing my way to a nearby supply closet, far enough away to throw them off when reviewing the security cameras. The proper tile was marked for me to move, and I jumped down into the dark room. I left the flashlight and made my way out. I had reread the next instructions a few times to not have to keep looking down at it as I walked the halls of SHIELD. I kept my head down, didn’t look at any of the cameras so my face wouldn’t be recognized. Obviously they would eventually find out it’s me, but this would make it harder for them to find me through facial recognition. 

I soon made it undetected into the parking lot. I ran from there to the lane that should have Hill in the correct car. It had tinted windows and the correct plate number that matched the one written on the paper in front of me. I went three cars down from it and crawled back underneath them to once again go unnoticed by cameras. The right door was opened already to hide the view and I slipped in before shutting it. “I think that worked,” I said from the back seat as Hill nodded from the front driver’s seat.

“I hope so,” she responded as she began to back out. “Stay on the floor until we get out of here.” I nodded and did as she said. I didn’t know where she was taking me, but I prayed it would be somewhere safer for me. Between Steve trusting me and Natasha, and me trusting Sharon and Maria, I knew we were going against Nick Fury’s advice. But I also knew there was no way we could do these things alone. We just had to believe the people we trusted were good people, because the bad ones of SHIELD were too unified to be unraveled by just one or two of us. We needed our own team, and I had faith that we found it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, it was fun to give Maddi her own little taste of the super secret action life that Steve gets. I didn’t want them going through all of TWS together, and I have some really cool stuff I’ll be revealing in the next chapter. At least I think it’s kinda cool… 


	17. Chapter 17

**I want to have an informal Q &A about my story! Anything you want to ask about what has already happened in Maddi’s timeline, anything about her character in general, about one of my past original side characters, or anything about the canon characters and how I am choosing to portray them. Also, I will answer some questions about future chapters, depending on whether I find the answer to be too spoilery or not. Just post them in the comments or inbox me, I want to be able to answer them in an update to everyone! I’ll post the question and then my answer.**

**Please send me your questions, I want to interact with you guys in this way because I think it makes me understand my own characters even better. Whenever I have to think deeply about it from a reader’s perspective, I get a lot out of it as a writer. I hope you enjoy this update, and send me your questions as soon as you have them! (Extra incentive: I will go into the pages of all accounts who ask me a question and look at your stories. I hope to find something I might enjoy reading, and maybe I can promote it here later too!)**

* * *

May 5, 2014

“Where are we?” I asked as we made our way to what looked like an old water dam. 

“The only place that’s safe right now,” Maria Hill responded as she parked near a door to the abandoned facility. I followed her in and once we were rounded a corner far inside, the first thing I noticed was none other than Nick Fury on a hospital bed, awake.

“What the hell?” I exclaimed as I turned from him to Hill. “You were dead!”

“Yeah, I know, but now I’m here,” Fury responded as he carefully sat himself up. “And even more importantly, you’re here.” 

“Is Steve here?” I asked quickly.

“No,” Maria responded. “That’s my next plan, getting him and Romanoff with us. It was more time sensitive to get you here first. I think Fury can catch you up, I need to go back out now and get the others.” I was even more confused from her reply, how could my safety and/or help be more time sensitive than Steve’s? 

“Thank you, Agent Hill. We’ll be right here waiting for you to get back,” Fury said before she left the way we both came in. 

“Okay,” I started as I sat down in a nearby chair. “This will need a lot of explaining.”

“You see those files on the table next to you?” he asked as he looked to my right. I turned and saw the folder sitting on the top and picked it up. I looked down at them and opened it to see my name at the top of the first page “Madeline Jane Bennett Rogers.” 

“What is this?” I voiced my concern.

“Everything SHIELD had on you before your faked death and everything after your public return. The only ones who knew of you before your announcement was Romanoff, Coulson, and I. There is no doubt about that because you’re sitting here in front of me right now. If anyone else had actually known, well you just might have ended up on the wrong side here.”

“What are you talking about?” I looked up at him after skimming through my file. Nothing he said had made any sense to me, and I just wanted to understand what was going on.

“I noticed that aspects of SHIELD had taken an interest in you since learning about who you were. Pierce even set up an interview to try to recruit you last year, correct?” he asked me and I nodded slowly.

“Yes, but you have been trying to get me to join SHIELD for years. I just assumed you sent Pierce after me or that he wanted the same thing you did.”

“I can assure you, I was not responsible for Pierce’s interest in you. When I found out about the meeting, I was a bit confused, but I didn’t think much more of it than SHIELD wanting another Avenger on board. Then I found the notes they had been keeping on you since you went public. They didn’t want you to join to help with what you already had, they wanted you to join so they could study you.”

“Well I was kind of given that impression when I had my meeting with Pierce. He said he wanted me to work with the scientists on staff to help perfect my abilities. I didn’t want that any more than being a field agent so I declined his offer.”

“Pierce’s intent was not the same as mine. I wanted your help strictly in the field. Of course you have a strong history of being a large help in the scientific aspects of SHIELD, and before that the SSR, but I felt that was your past. Especially after New York, it was clear that working with Steve could be your future. I didn’t push it though, I knew better when it came to you.” He gave me a knowing look and I returned a smug smile.

“Good, it took you long enough to learn,” I responded. 

“The point is, this idea to study your powers and help perfect them, it didn’t come from me. It got me thinking about the entire nature of your abilities, and how nobody seemed to have any clear answers about them. You’ve said time and again that you, Howard, and Tony couldn’t figure them out, so it was surprising that people within SHIELD were so confident in themselves.”

“I don’t find it that surprising. Howard and Tony were both confident in their ability to fix me until years of failure. Also your organization is pretty cocky, I can see them thinking they’d have me all figured out.”

“Even if that’s so, you might want to look at the last page in that file. I finally found it a few weeks ago, and it confirmed my own suspicions.” I gave him a strange look before flipping to the last page he was referring to. I read the one sentence it contained:

_ April 12, 1958 marks the conclusion of The Madeline Rogers Experiment; per her death in a laboratory explosion, the results remain a failure. _

I reread the words probably twenty times before I said anything else. “What does this mean? How did you find this?” I felt fear run through my body at what this one sentence could mean.

“You told me that your healing powers came from an accident of your own experimenting with Erskine’s method’s, that you passed out and didn’t remember anything from the very last day of your tests on yourself.”

“Because that’s what happened. I was not in a good state of mind after losing Steve and I did this to myself,” I quickly said before he could continue, not wanting to consider an alternative.

“I don’t think that’s what happened. I think someone broke their way into Stark’s lab and did this to you, made it look like an accident on your part. Maybe they knew of your obsessive behavior with recreating Steve’s serum, and they used it as an opportunity to test their own.”

I shook my head as he spoke. “No,” I said quickly. “No, that’s impossible. Howard’s lab could have never been broken into, and how could anyone have known what I was doing in there? Why wouldn’t I remember any of this happening anyway?” 

“Howard’s vault was broken into shortly after the war, you remember that. He was good at security measures, but not everything was perfect. I don’t know how they did this to you or really even why, but I think that’s what happened. Why else would they write that statement after they thought you died? They were studying you before you faked your own death.”

“Who is ‘they’ Fury?” I yelled at him in a panic. “Where did you find this and why don’t you have more information?”

“‘They’ is Hydra.” he responded bluntly. 

“What?” I put my head and my hands as I leaned forward onto the edge of his bed from my chair. Hydra was destroyed decades ago by Steve, how could they have done this, and why did it matter now. 

“Hydra found its way into SHIELD after the end of the war. It’s been growing since then, and it’s about to fully take over. Pierce is in charge right now, and wanted to use you and your powers for Hydra’s gain.” 

I lifted my head up and looked straight ahead. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” I voiced. There was no way what he said was true, it couldn’t be true. 

“I found this statement after months of digging, there’s definitely more on you, I just didn’t get a chance to find it all,” he added.

“If they wanted to use me so badly, why didn’t they kidnap me and experiment on me directly? Why not then or now?” I asked.

“Back then you had a high profile and a strong connection with Howard Stark. I’m assuming they didn’t want to risk taking you until they were sure whatever they did to you worked. Stark did such a good job faking your death, it tricked Hydra too. That got them to forget about you, it ultimately saved you from them. When you went public and got back on their radar, you were once again too public to just take. Especially being so close to Steve and Tony, they had to lure you in some other way as long as they were around. That’s what Pierce was trying to do. When that didn’t work, he was going to finally hold you captive once eliminating your husband as a threat. That’s why Hill needed to get you out of there. I don’t know how much time they would have needed to somehow brainwash you on to their team, but I wasn’t going to take that risk. We need all the help we can get to take down Hydra before it’s too late, and if we waited past when we did, it would have been impossible to get to you.”

I felt overwhelmed by his explanation, and still in denial. What he said made sense, but it was terrifying to think Hydra was behind everything that had happened to me. I didn’t want to believe any of it.

“Eat some food and get some rest, you look almost as bad as I do,” he told me after I was quiet for a while. After he said that, I realized that I hadn’t slept or eaten in way too long. I nodded and he told me where I could find both food and a cot to sleep in.

“What if Steve gets here?” I said quickly. 

“Then someone will wake us both up. For now, it’s best to rest because we can’t do anything until he does get here. There’s extra cots in the next room over.” I thanked him quietly and left the room. I fell asleep almost instantly from how tired I was.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


May 6, 2014

“I don’t like just sitting here waiting,” I told Nick Fury as I ate a sandwich for lunch from the food they had stored in the abandoned facility. Hill still hadn’t returned with Steve, and I had no phone or way of knowing what was going on out there. 

“She’ll be back with them soon, you don't have any other choice but to wait.” He was still in his hospital bed and a doctor they had was checking them over. I went back to eating my food in silence as I over thought about everything that could go wrong. What if he and Natasha were back in SHIELD’s custody? What if they had died? What if Hill had been caught for helping me and trying to help Steve? The lack of information was killing me. I decided to go looking around the underground building to waste time until I could actually do something useful.

Hours had passed and I was outside on the walkway on top of the dam when I heard a car approach. I bent down to conceal myself just in case it was someone hostile. I made my way closer to get a better look and as I saw Agent Hill just before she entered the building. I quickly stood up and ran to meet her, hoping Steve was also inside. There was chatter in Fury’s room as I kept running. I rounded the corner and also saw Steve, Natasha, and Sam Wilson. I let out a big sigh of relief as I smiled. Steve looked over and his eyes widened as he saw me. He made a few large steps across the room before wrapping me into his arms.

“I’m sorry I didn’t go looking for you,” he said to me as I put my arms around him in return.

“Steve, it’s alright,” I replied quickly.

“I wanted to try, but I knew it would have ended in both of us being held by SHIELD. I thought the best way to help you at that point was to find out what they were hiding first.” He squeezed me harder before pulling back slightly to look at me again.

Steve,” I repeated while moving my hands to his face as I looked into his eyes. “It’s okay. I’m okay. You did the right thing, and I never doubted you. You know how to make the right choices, even when they’re hard, and that’s one of the reasons why I trust you so much.” He nodded. “Agent Hill got me safely out, I’ve been waiting here very impatiently for you,” I told him with a smile. Steve let go of me and stepped back so I could address the other new people in the room.

“It’s really good to see you guys here,” I told Natasha and Sam. 

“Hey, can I talk to you privately for a minute,” Steve spoke up again to me. I looked at him a little confused, and so did Hill and Fury, but Natasha and Sam seemed to have a look of understanding at what he meant. I nodded slowly in response.

“We’ll fill them in while you tell her,” Sam told Steve, clearly knowing what Steve wanted to tell me privately. I was confused but left the room with him anyway. 

“What’s going on?” asked him when we sat down at a table alone. “If Sam and Nat are telling the same thing, why do you want to tell me alone?” He gave me a pained smile and it worried me even more. “Steve, what’s wrong?” I said with a frown.

“Bucky’s alive,” Steve told me.

“What?” I looked at him like he was crazy.

“When he fell from the train, he must have survived the fall because of the experiments Zola did on him before we saved him. He’s been with Hydra, hiding within SHIELD, this entire time. He has a metal arm now, he’s been brainwashed and trained to kill for them, he was the one at our apartment who tried to kill Fury. I know this is a lot to take in, I can barely believe it either. But I saw his face, Maddi, it’s him.” I looked down at my hands and a few tears fell down my face. Our best friend was alive and he was being controlled for decades by terrible people.

“Oh my god,” I said as another thought dawned on me. “Fury was right.”

“What?” Steve replied. “Wait, what do you mean?” He was clearly confused and worried by my words.

“Yesterday, he told me that Hydra is the reason I have my powers, that they tried to study me but stopped when they thought I was dead and now they were trying to get me closer to them. He’s gotta be right, I mean if they took and brainwashed Bucky after experimenting on him, they’d could do it to me too.”

“You already know about Hydra,” Steve stated in shock.

“As of yesterday.”

“Nick knew about Hydra?” Steve had a look of betrayal on his face and I could imagine it was of Fury’s neverending secrets.

“I mean, that’s probably why they tried to kill him.”

Steve stood up and shook his head. “Dammit!” he yelled as he kicked the chair near him, the only thing within reach to take out his anger. I jumped slightly at his reaction, but understood it completely. “I thought I got rid of them in ‘45. I gave up my life to destroy Hydra, but it turns out they were still around. They grew right under everyone’s noses and worked to ruin the lives of the two most important people to me.” 

“That’s not on you, Steve,” I told him sincerely. 

He scoffed. “Yeah right. Why else would they have picked you two? Go after Captain America’s best friend and wife, that’ll teach him a lesson for trying to defeat us.”

“Oh come on, Steve. I didn’t know you were so self centered,” I teased with a small smile. I stood up and took his hand in mine as I guided him to the cot I slept in the previous night. We both sat down next to each other with his hand still in mine as I rested them on my lap. “Without you, Bucky would have never been initially saved the first time he was captured. Maybe all of this still would have happened to him. As for me, I would have lived some boring life with some boring man I met back in the 30s or 40s. And although I hate the fact that it was them, and I know I had a lot of shitty years because of it, I can’t imagine a life where I would have grown old without you. You’d be going through this alone, and I would have never gotten my second chance with you.” I brought his hand up and gave the back a kiss to sooth him. “And now that we’re both here, we can help save Bucky.” He nodded quickly and then he wrapped me in another hug. I ran my hand through his hair as I felt him shake silently in my arms. He was crying.

“I just feel like I’ve failed you both,” he said as he let all of his feelings out. I gave him a tight squeeze after hearing his heartbreaking words.

“No,” I whispered to him, my heart breaking for how hurt he was. “No, darling, that’s not true.” He lifted his head and I wiped his tears from his face. “You’re doing the very best you can. When you crashed that plane, you saved so many people, even if Hydra wasn’t over, you saved cities full of lives that day. You didn’t fail either of us; we’re gonna help Bucky, and he’s gonna be okay. And for me, you’re the love of my life, Steve. Having you here… I know I didn’t react well at first and it took time for me to realize how I never stopped loving you… but having you back these last two years have been such a blessing. I wouldn’t want anyone else as my superhero husband. That goes for now and 70 years ago.” He gave me a small smile.

“I love you, Maddi.” 

“I love you. Don’t put all of this on yourself, you have me to help you. I’ll always let you cry all over me, God knows I cry on you all the time,” I wiped another stray tear that fell from his cheek and he let out a soft laugh. “I’m here for your moments of strength and your moments of weakness. It’s too much pressure being strong Captain America all the time.”

“”Thank you,” he replied. We spent a few minutes still in the room alone before going back to discuss our next moves with the others. We all gathered around a table set up with information on the Project Insight case. As soon as Steve was back with other people, all signs of vulnerability were once again gone as he took the lead in our mission to take down Hydra. 

“This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize,” Fury said as he looked down at a picture of Pierce. “He said Peace wasn’t an achievement, it was a responsibility. See, it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues.”

“We have to stop the launch,” Natasha said.

“I don’t think the Council’s accepting my calls anymore,” Fury responded before opening the case next to him. It held 3 computer chips inside.

“What’s that?” Sam asked.

Maria was the one to begin explaining the plan to us. “Once the helicarriers reach 3,000 feet, they’ll triangulate with Insight satellites, becoming fully weaponized.” She showed us a computerized version of the event that would happen in the morning.

“We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own,” Fury explained.

“One or two won’t cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work because even if one of those ships remain operational, a whole lot of people are gonna die,” Maria added.

“We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is Hydra. We have to get past them, insert these server blades. And maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what’s left-” Fury was cut off by Steve before finishing his sentence.

“We’re not salvaging anything,” Steve snapped at him. “We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we’re taking down SHIELD.”

“SHIELD had nothing to do with this,” he replied.

“You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. SHIELD’s been compromised, you said so yourself. Hydra grew right under your nose and nobody noticed.”

“Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed,” Nick told him.

“How many paid the price before you did?” Steve asked. 

“Look, I didn’t know about Barnes,” he told him. I was confused before I immediately remembered that Sam and Nat had told him and Maria that information while Steve told me separately. 

“Even if you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? And what about Maddi, huh? How long did you know they were trying to get to her too before you decided to tell someone about it?” Steve questioned him.

“I had to know for sure before I could tell her, it would have put her more at risk,” he tried to reason.

“No that’s not good enough, Nick!” Steve exclaimed. “Her life was in danger and you couldn’t bother to tell her or me! She barely got out in time, and would have happened if that had failed?”

“Steve,” I tried to calm him down. He looked at me and I could see him visibly relax as we locked eyes.

“SHIELD, Hydra, it all goes.” Steve’s statement was clearly the end of discussion on the topic.

“He’s right,” Maria told Nick. He looked at Natasha and I, and we both nodded at him in agreement. 

“Don’t look at me. I do what he does, just slower,” Sam stated.

“Well, looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain,” Fury conceded to Steve’s demand. 

I gave Steve a smile and knew he was right in taking down SHIELD. It was too risky without knowing exactly who or what was Hydra. We continued to go over the exact plan for our mission until we all knew what we needed to do. I looked at the time and told everyone “get a couple hours of sleep, you two especially need it.” I looked at Natasha and Steve, knowing they hadn’t slept in days. We were planning to wake early to catch them a couple hours before their official launch time. The rest of the room agreed and made their way to an area to get a small nap in before the sun would rise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big surprises and sweet moments between Steve and Maddi in this chapter, I hope I shocked some people! Let me know your thoughts and questions like I stated above! Thanks for the reads, reviews, likes, I hope to get another chapter out to you all soon!


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks for the questions I’ve gotten already! I’ve gotten a few, so I’m going to wait a little bit longer and then answer them all in the next update. Anyone else who has questions about my story, anything at all, I encourage you to ask! I might not have thought of it from a certain perspective and it’ll be fun to think harder about the characters and plot.**

* * *

  
  
  


May 7, 2014

When I woke up, it felt like I had been asleep for only a few minutes. “Hey, I let you sleep a bit longer, but we gotta get going soon. Nat is already with the Security Council, launch is in four hours.” I nodded as I sat up and made my way over to the others.

“I don’t have anything to fight in,” I said, realizing that I wasn’t much help without a suit, and my suit was with Tony.

“I had Stark give me one of your new suits a few weeks ago, he agreed that one should be in the city you’re living in just in case you needed it. It’s in that case over there,” Fury pointed across the room. I hesitantly walked over and opened it to find my new suit. It was very similar in style to what I wore in New York two years before, but this one included the functional complete bulletproof navy blue suit in addition to the red goggles, metal gloves and metal boots. He also added white stars on the sides of the boots and the forearm of the gloves. My heart rate began to pick up as I stepped away from the suit. I had been doing so well over the last year and a half when it came to Steve constantly risking his life, and Tony almost dying again. I spoke with a therapist every week and my panic attacks and nightmares had been brought down significantly. Even these past couple of days, I held it together remarkably well. However, looking at the suit again made New York memories once again feel all too real. I didn’t want to feel like I did before, I didn’t want to watch someone I love die or almost die. I was spacing out and before I knew it, I was on my knees and Steve was beside me.

“Maddi,” I distantly heard him say. “Maddi, look at me, darling.” I turned my head and he looked into my eyes.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Steve,” I told him after taking a deep breath. “I can’t lose you because of this, this is bigger than just another one of your missions.”

“I know, Mads. I know it’s scary, I’m scared too. But we’ve gotta do something because if we don’t,” he trailed off and I knew the consequences of not doing this. 

“We only have six people on our side, Steve,” I told him in fear.

“We only had seven in New York,” he reminded me with a small smile. 

“Yeah and all of SHIELD behind us. Now we’re fighting them, how are we gonna pull this off with all of us coming out okay?”

“We just have to try, Maddi. This is to save Tony, to save me, and you, and a whole lot more people. We can do this, you can do this. They have Bucky, Maddi.” He said with almost tears in his eyes again. I knew every thought of him put Steve in pain because it did to me too. I got lucky avoiding Hydra’s control, Bucky did not. I put my hand on his cheek in comfort. “I let him go before, I can’t abandon him again.” I nodded my head, as I continued to work on slowing my breathing.

I then noticed a note on the side of the case that held my suit. It read:  _ Maddi, I made you 5 new suits and thought it would be funny if I put stars on this one to make you even more of America’s sweetheart ;) Don’t be mad, you brought this on yourself when you decided to leave LA AND New York for Mr. Boy Wonder in DC. Have fun fighting bad guys with your soulmate! -Tony _

I let out a nervous laugh after reading the note and then handed it to Steve. “We’re gonna be okay,” Steve told me after reading it himself.

“Okay,” I told him. “Let’s go fight the bad guys.” He leaned towards me and kissed me softly on the lips. I kissed him back, trying to make it last forever but knowing we were short on time. He pulled away and stood up while holding my hands to help me to my feet as well. 

“Get suited up, and we’ll meet you outside.” I had noticed everyone else had left the room while I was having my mini meltdown, and it was just Steve and I left in the room. 

“What about your suit?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry, Nat stole the one from the Smithsonian.” I let out a genuine loud laugh at his reply. 

“Wow, you’re gonna be wearing your classic from the war. Now that’s the Captain I fell in love with,” I teased him.

“You were already in love with me by then,” he replied with his own laugh.

“Oh I was in love with Steve Rogers already by then. But something about that final suit you used to fight in got me to see Captain America in a whole new light,” I said with a wink. “I think it flattered you much better than the silly costume the Senator had you in for your shows.” 

“Alright, get changed and let’s go!” he ordered with a smile still on his face.

“Yes sir, Captain,” I saluted him. 

“Maddi!”

“Okay, Okay, I’m getting dressed. You better head out now or I’ll have other ways of making you forget all about our little upcoming battle,” I winked again and smiled at the fact that I could still make him blush even when he tried so hard not to.

“Are you seriously making jokes about having sex instead of taking down Hydra?” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Sorry, you know I picked up making jokes to avoid my true fears and feelings from four decades of being around Tony. Or maybe he picked it up from me… I don’t really know anymore actually.” The look on Steve’s face made me concede. “Alright, I’ll stop, I’ll be out in a few minutes, I promise.” He believed me that time and left the room as I finally changed into my suit and pulled my hair up out of my face. I read Tony’s note one last time to put a smile on my face again and remind myself why I continued to join these dangerous fights. I had the ability to protect the ones I loved, and I needed to be there to help. I didn’t go on missions all the time like Steve because that wasn’t what I enjoyed doing, but when it was the big battles that needed as much help as possible, I had to find the courage to be a part of it and “fight the bad guys.” I wasn’t going to let Steve be alone for those. 

When I met the rest of the team outside, everyone was suited up, and we split into two cars to head to our different parts of our mission. I was in one car with Maria, Steve, and Sam. As we stopped in the woods nearby the SHIELD facility to travel the rest of the way on foot, I said “maybe we should reconsider my involvement in the plan.” They all looked at me like I was crazy, not quite sure if I was joking or not.

“Maddi,” Steve started but I cut him off.

“I mean New York was an army of mindless clone aliens controlled by one ship. We’re now going up trained agents and soldiers who are going to be way above my level of skill. I don’t know how well thought out it was to let me join you guys when I haven’t even tried on the suit until now. I can catch up with Fury, I’m sure he could use my help.” They were getting out of the car as I rambled on about my worries.

“Until yesterday, I hadn’t worn my suit in years,” Sam said as he stood in front of me after I exited the car myself. “I know you’re scared about today, and I know we barely know each other, but you’re not alone. You had a bad experience wearing your suit, I can understand that, trust me. I’m scared too. Are you two scared?” he asked, turning to our two other companions but then kept talking before they could answer. “I promise they’re scared too, don’t let their heroic attitudes fool you. We’ve got a plan, and we’ve got each other’s backs. You gotta use that fear to drive you to do what you know is right. Besides, if the bad guys shoot you down, you’ll be fine, right? We need someone indestructible on our side here.”

I gave him a weak smile but nodded in agreement. “You’re right, just a little pre-‘saving the world’ jitters. Thanks for the pep talk, let's go take down Hydra!”

We eventually made it into the control room and Steve was able to speak with the entire SHIELD facility over the intercom. “Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not.” 

“Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?” Sam teased with a smile. 

“Oh you haven’t heard?” I asked Sam. “After today, Steve’s planning to retire and become a quasi-motivational speaker, that was just his practice.” I gave them both a smirk and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Alright, let’s move out,” Steve ordered and we headed for the main deck to reach the helicarriers. As we were on our way there, Maria spoke into our earpieces.

“They're initiating launch,” she told us from the command room.

“Hey Cap,” Sam said as we ran outside. “How do we know the good guys from the bad guys?”

“If they're shooting at you, they're bad,” Steve replied.

“Bet I can get the chip connected to my carrier first!” I said as my suit launched me up into the sky. 

“You’re on, Americana” Sam replied and he flew up with his own wings.

“Oh please do not call me that,” I begged, and I could tell that he was probably letting out a laugh of his own.”Maddi or ‘better Rogers’ will do.” 

“Hey,” I heard Steve interject in protest.

“ANA,” I got the attention of my AI as my eyeglasses activated. 

_ “Maddi, it’s good to be working with you again,”  _ she replied. 

“Yeah I’m glad to be working with you too. Can you analyze the quickest route to Alpha carrier, and keep an eye on stray bullets for me please?”

_ “Of course, follow the flight path, your screen will recognize anything incoming and guide you around them.” _

**“** Hey Cap, I found those bad guys you were talking about,” Sam yelled out to us as he was being shot at up into the air by large cannon fire.

**“** You okay?” Steve asked from his location.

“I’m not dead yet,” Sam responded.

I had to take several detours on my supposed direct route because of the rapid fire being shot at me. I was able to use my own power from the palms of my hands as well as some added missiles Tony placed in my boots and gloves. It was enough to get me within the correct helicarrier. 

**“** Eight minutes, Cap,” Maria spoke to all of us.

**“** Working on it,” he answered. He was making his way to his own carrier, but he couldn’t fly like Sam and I. He wasn’t able to jump directly onto it at first, but they were still low enough and close enough to each other that he didn’t need to fly just yet to get there. 

I finally made it into the control panel of the carrier and took out my chip. “Haha, I win. Alpha locked,” I said to the team as I replaced the chip already in there. “Oh come on, you two got beat out by a 95 year old lady?” I teased them as I flew off my carrier in search of Sam and Steve. “I can lend you a hand if you need the help.”

“Oh come on!” Sam yelled into his adcom and I laughed.

“Falcon, where are you now?” Maria asked.

“I had to take a detour!” he told her. A few moments later he said “I’m in. Bravo locked.”

“Two down, one to go,” she informed us. 

“Super soldier Steve is in last place?” I asked in shock. 

“I can’t fly!” he explained and I laughed again.

  
  


**“** Charlie Carrier's forty-five degrees off the port bow,” Maria told him. “Six minutes.”

“Hey, Sam, or Maddi, I'm gonna need a ride,” Steve told us.

**“** Roger! Let us know when you're ready,” Sam replied. I saw Steve jump off the edge as a missle shot at him.

“I just did!” Steve told us.

“Dear god,” I redirected straight at him as Sam came from the other direction. We caught him at the same time and were able to lift him up to the last helicarrier. 

**“** You know, you're a lot heavier than you look,” Sam told him.

“I had a big breakfast,” he joked. I clicked off auto control glasses for a moment when suddenly Steve was pushed off the edge. 

“Steve!” Sam and I shouted. Before I had the chance to give ANA full control again of the suit, I directed the suit’s flight to find him when I saw it was clearly Bucky who had thrown him off. I knew Bucky was still alive from what Steve told me, but seeing him there put me at a complete halt from how shocked I was. Before I knew it, Bucky had thrown some device at me and it hit my suit, frying all the electrical components completely. I soon began to fall. I tried to get ANA to reboot the system, but it wasn’t working. I was soon splashing into the Potomac River. I had no idea how Tony had done it, but somehow the material he made my suit from didn’t sink me straight to the bottom like I would have expected. I was able to swim to the nearest bridge after reaching the surface. 

“Cap? Cap, come in. Are you okay?” Sam’s voice came in through my surprisingly still working earpiece. 

**“** Yeah, I'm here! I'm still on the Helicarrier,” he told us. “ Where are you?”

“I'm grounded, the suit's down. Sorry, Cap,” Sam replied.

“So am I Steve,” I told him, still trying to get ANA back up as I stood up on the bridge. 

**“** Don't worry, I got it,” Steve said.

“ _ I’m sorry, Maddi, it seems my systems were down for a moment,”  _ I finally heard ANA speak again.

“ANA! It’s alright, what works? Can I get back up there?” I asked.

_ “Your circuitry was fried by a foreign device. I was able to reboot myself, but your flight and weaponry currently have no function.” _ I let out a nervous sigh as I looked around. I was all alone, glad that nobody could get to me because I had no way of fighting back.

“One minute,” Maria’s voice came in again. I looked up at the sky, trying to get a good look at which one was the last carrier Steve was on. He was no doubt fighting Bucky up there, and I was worried he wouldn’t replace the chips in time. “Thirty seconds, Cap!” she warned. 

“Stand by,” Steve said and I could hear the pain in his voice. 

“Please work,” I said to myself as I looked down with my hands on my head. I couldn’t watch as I knew that carrier had it’s targets locked on at least a million people in DC and the surrounding states. I knew every person on our team had to be on that list.

“Charlie lock,” I heard Steve say and I let out a smile as I looked up from the bridge I stood on. He did it, none of those people set as targets we’re going to die.

“Alright Cap, get out of there,” Hill’s voice went through. I watched the carriers shift to aim at each other. It was Agent Hill’s job to set them off to destroy each other as soon as Steve got out. 

“Fire now,” Steve replied.

“But Steve-” Hill started but Steve cut her off.

“Do it! Do it now!” he shouted.

“Dammit Steve, don’t do this to me again!” I yelled through my own earpiece.

“I’m sorry Maddi,” I heard him say softer just as the carriers began to shoot at each other.

“No!” I screamed, knowing Steve was still in one. “ANA, get me up there!” I yelled at my AI as I continued to watch the destruction.

_ “I apologize, Maddi, but your flight circuits are still down. I’m working as fast as I can to fix them, but I cannot get you higher than a few feet right now.”  _ I tried anyway to launch myself up despite her words, but I only got about three or four feet up before falling back down. 

“Agh!” I yelled in anger as I hit the side of my boot with my hand. I looked back up and the carriers began to have pieces on fire fall off. I finally let the tears start. “Steve?” I tried again, hoping he could still hear me. I wasn’t even sure if I was far enough away to stay safe from the damage. As soon as the carriers would fall, it would be unpredictable to know where they would land. I needed my flight power back. 

“I’m gonna try to save Bucky.” I heard him say, but it was very choppy and I could tell his end of the communication device was on the verge of giving out.

“Steve-” I was cut off by large debris falling near me and I had to duck for a few moments to stay safe. When I looked back up, the carriers were falling into each other.

_ “Maddi, your flight capacity is at 30%, you have enough to get yourself to safety,”  _ ANA informed me.

“I’m getting Steve first,” I told her. “Steve, can you still hear me?” I didn’t get a reply and I launched myself in the air to look for him.

_ “I strongly advise you to fly away in search of a safe area, you don’t have enough power to fly for long,”  _ ANA explained.

“I don’t care, I’m not leaving him,” I reply. I flew around as close as I could to search each carrier without getting hit myself. I let out a yelp as my flight power gave out for a second once more before starting up again.

_ “Maddi, you don’t have much time,”  _ ANA reiterated.

“Hill, Where’s Steve? You got a location on Rogers?” I heard Natasha’s voice in my earpiece. 

“Natasha!” I called her, knowing I would fall soon without help. I saw the helicopter she was in and made my way towards it. Just as I was close enough for them to see me, they flew in my direction as well. I was almost to them when the very last of my flight power gave out. I fell next to the open door as I reached out in a panic to try to grab onto anything. An arm latched onto mine instantly, and I saw it was Sam holding on and pulling me up.    
  


“I told you, we’ve got each other’s backs,” he yelled out to me and I gave a weak smile when I was safely in the helicopter. 

“I don’t know which one Steve’s in,” I told the two and Nick who was flying us. They flew around as the three of us tried to see Steve inside one of them, but we had no luck. 

“We have to fall back!” Nick yelled as the carriers were crashing into the water. 

“We can’t let him die in one of those!” I yelled back. “I can help him this time, I’m not leaving, I can help him! ANA, have you located Steve?” my glasses were searching through all the debris in the carriers but there was no match to Steve.

“Maddi, we can’t be here anymore. We have to just hope he got out,” Natasha told me.

“We’ll search the perimeter,” Nick said. “But we’re not staying here, something will take us down if we don’t fly out.” I was angry that even with a suit and powers, I felt just as useless as when Steve crashed in the Atlantic all those years before. I could only hope that he would still be alive and we’d find him this time. I let out a scream in frustration as I buried my face in my hands. 

* * *

  
  
  


May 8, 2014 (STEVE’S POV)

I slowly felt myself wake up as I heard music playing. I was disoriented and had no idea how I ended up lying down in a bed. I looked to my right and I saw Sam sitting next to me reading. I closed my eyes again and said “on your left.” 

If I could smile I would have, but my entire face hurt. “That’s all you gotta say?” Sam asked me, I could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“All I gotta say to you,” I responded. 

“How about her?” he asked and I opened my eyes. He nodded across from himself and I looked over to see Maddi curled up asleep on another chair next to me. “She’s been right there since you were brought here.” She was out of her suit and wearing jeans and a light blue tshirt. Her shoes were slipped off as she had her legs brought up to rest on the chair with her. I had no idea how she was comfortable enough to be asleep like that, but knowing none of us got any real sleep for a few days, it also made perfect sense how she was completely out. At the sound of Sam’s and my conversation, she began to slowly wake up. As soon as she seemed to remember where she was, she was fully alert looking at Sam, then around to see if it was a doctor talking, and then finally to me. She let out a quick sigh as a huge smile went across her face when she saw me awake looking back at her. 70 years later and that smile still gave me butterflies. Despite the pain, I was able to manage a small smile in return.

“Hey, you’re awake, how do you feel?” she asked me as she brought her chair closer to my bed. 

“I’ve felt better,” I responded and she took my hand in both of hers and squeezed it softly. 

“Stop scaring me like this,” she brought my hand up to her lips and gave my knuckles a quick kiss. “I’m not ready to lose you again.”

“I’m sorry, Mads.” she just nodded silently and kissed my hand again. 

“I’ll get a doctor over for you,” Sam told us as he stood up.

“Thank you, Sam,” Maddi replied. 

“Bucky, he saved me,” I told Maddi.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“He was trying to kill me, and I passed out falling into the water. He dragged me out, I remember it better now. He saved my life.”

“After he tried to kill you.”   
  


“Yeah, but that wasn’t him. The saving me part… he’s still in there, Mads, I know it.”

She nodded in agreement. “We’re gonna get him back,” she promised me. “I was in shock when I saw him, it’s what threw me off long enough to get grounded.” 

“It’s okay, it happened to me too, the previous day on the street we fought in. Wait how long has it been?” I asked her.

“It’s only been a day,” she answered.

“And you’ve been sleeping in that chair all night?” I looked at her like she was crazy.

“Yes I slept in this chair overnight. I wasn’t about to leave you here alone once I found out you were found and taken here.” she looked down with a frown and I knew she was still upset.

“Hey, I’m awake and here now,” I said and she looked back at me with worried eyes. 

“I could have helped you this time,” she began to explain her thoughts. “I had a suit, I had literal invincibility, and I was there. I could have helped you, and I couldn’t even get to you.”

“It was probably a good thing, Bucky wasn’t remembering me.”

“Yeah but I could have been the one to catch you fall,” she immediately added. “I don’t like feeling helpless. And this time I could help, and it didn’t even matter because my stupd suit wasn’t working because I let it get fried.” 

“You told me not to put so much pressure on myself before,” I started. “Don’t do it to yourself either. We’ve got each other, I’m still here. You did everything you could, and we’re both still here. It’s gonna be okay.” she nodded in response. She looked like she wanted to say more, but the doctor walked in and she dropped the subject. I wish I could help her feel better, but I knew that she was still upset about how close I came to not making it. I didn’t want to tell her that I let Bucky almost kill me. I wasn’t going to fight my best friend like that, but I didn’t want her to know how close it really came either. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


May 23, 2014 (STEVE’S POV)

“So, you’ve experienced this sort of thing before?” Nick asked as him, Sam, Maddi and I were looking down at his tombstone. 

“You get used to it,” Maddi and I said at the same time and I looked down with a smile as I shook my head.

“You two scare me sometimes,” Nick commented at us. “We’ve been data mining Hydra’s files. Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship. I’m headed to Europe tonight. Wanted to ask if you’d come.” He said.

“There’s something I gotta do first,” I told him.

“How about you, Wilson? I could use a man with your abilities.” 

“I’m more of a soldier than a spy,” he responded.

“I know better than to waste my time asking you,” Nick addressed Maddi.

“Aw Nick, you really do know me,” Maddi teased with a smile. 

“Alright then,” he said. He shook our hands goodbye and then told us “Anybody asks for me, you tell them they can find me right here.” he pointed to his grave site.

“You should be honored, that’s about as close as he gets to saying thank you,” Natasha said as she approached us and Nick left.

“Not going with him?” I asked her.

“No,” she quickly replied. 

“Not staying here,” I added.

“Nah,” she agreed. “I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one.”

“That might take a while,” I told her.

“I’m counting on it.”

“You’re always welcomed to come visit,” Maddi said as she walked over and stood next to me. “I could use some help learning how to fight a bit more because after this month I know I can’t rely on just a tony suit.”

“Thanks, I might take you up on that,” she told her with a small smile. It was clear to all of us how Maddi really meant it when she told Natasha she could visit anytime she wanted. Maddi had grown out of her dislike for Natasha and seemed to be hoping to form a possible friendship in the future. “That thing you asked for, I called in a few favors.” She handed me a folder that I knew had Bucky’s information from Hydra in it. “Will you do me a favor? Start taking your wife out on more dates again.” she nodded to Maddi, and Maddi looked back and forth between us confused. Natasha had been constantly getting on me for not having a real social life outside of work. 

“Ooo, that sounds fun, it has been a while and with SHIELD gone, your schedule just cleared up,” Maddi added.

I laughed and nodded my head and the three of us said our goodbyes. “Be careful Steve, you might not wanna pull on that thread,” Natasha said finally, referring to the file, before leaving. My smile was immediately gone once thinking again about Bucky.

I opened the folder and Maddi looked down at it with me. Sam had walked up next to us. “You’re going after him,” he stated as we looked at the pictures on the left. One with him in a frozen chamber and then one of him in the 40s in his uniform. As happy as I was to know my best friend was still alive, it wasn’t at all like when I found out Maddi was alive. Maddi had been a blessing, her life was going very well by the time I came back. This seemed like a terrible curse for Bucky, but I was going to do everything I could to help him.

“You don’t have to come with me,” I told him.

“I know,” he said. “When do we start?” 

I gave him a smile, thankful for the support. “Whenever Maddi gives the okay,” I responded, looking over at her. 

“Well that’s not fair! I want to help Bucky just as much as you do,” she started. “But I was also looking forward to that date night,” she shrugged with a sheepish look. 

“I can make time for both,” I reminded her. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied genuinely. “I’m serious, we have a lifetime of date nights to fill. Bucky’s life is more important right now.” Her serious and determined look reiterated her words. Bucky had been like a brother to me, and eventually Maddi saw it the same way for her. Bucky was our family, our only family from our life so long ago, and she always put family before everything. “Besides, it’s like May of 2012 all over again. The media would stalk us on any date we tried to go on for the next few months. I need something to keep my mind off the news before I go insane from all the opinions about us,” she added.

“You read that stuff?” Sam questioned with shock.

“I try to get her to stop, but it’s like she’s addicted to knowing all that crap people say,” I told him.

“I’ve gotten better!” She exclaimed as the three of us walked out of the cemetery. “My therapist has been very adamant about its negative impact on my overall mental health.”

“Well I’m glad you’re listening to her,” I replied.

“It’s the only thing keeping me from going into a downward spiral like two years ago. You almost died. Again. You and Tony are also bad for my overall mental health.” Sam let out a laugh at her statement.

“I believe that,” he told her. “I’ll try to help keep him safe and in line from now on.”

“Thank you, Sam. I trust you far more in this situation,” she said with a smile and I shook my head trying to hide my own smile. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so happy to finish the winter soldier plot! I hope you all liked it, please let me know any predictions you have. In the chapters to come, they will be dealing with the aftermath of releasing Hydra information. What do you think might happen with Maddi next? In AoU? In Civil War? Beyond that? I have so many plans and I’m so excited to share them! It would be fun to know if anyone could guess them correctly.
> 
> On the topic of that, I really really really didn’t want to write the events after Civil War until after watching the new Black Widow movie. I have no idea if I want Maddi’s story to be incorporated into that particular plot because I don’t know what happens yet. Since it won’t come out until at least May 2021 now, I have 2 options. 1: go with the plan I already have in my head that doesn’t include that potential plot at all because at the rate I’m going, I’ll probably reach that point in the story before May, or 2: wait until May to write anything taking place after Civil War. Let me know what you’d prefer. I hate the idea of writing something and then wishing I wrote it differently once I learn more about the storyline, but I also hate having to wait that long!


	19. Chapter 19

**Questions I’ve received and their answers:**

**Do you think Steve would have fallen in love with Maddi in the future timeline if he hadn’t already been in love with her from the past timeline?**

**_Wow, this is literally exactly why I was excited to do a Q &A because I would have never thought of it from that perspective. So I would like to think the answer is yes because I see them as soulmates kinda. That sounds super cheesy, but let’s not pretend like this story isn’t super cheesy when it comes to their love sometimes. Since I put emphasis on how much Maddi had changed over the years, I see why this is such a good question. Honestly thinking about it, I’d be more worried about Maddi not even giving Steve a chance if she hadn’t already known him/been in love with him from before. She was very closed off to new people, so maybe opening up to Steve would have been hard because she didn’t already know him. But I think Steve would have been his love struck self and would have successfully made his way into her heart anyway. (I actually have been coming up with a “What if” series for when I finally finish this main story… It'll be a series of oneshots where I change things around from the original timeline for Maddi and write what would happen with her and Steve. I think I’ll add this to the list if that’s alright with you!)_ **

**Will Maddi and Natasha become more like friends?**

**_Yes, I actually hope to build their relationship slowly. Part of Maddi’s growth is opening herself up to more people. She did it a bit with the people in Tony’s life, but now she gets to do it more with the rest of the avengers. I liked the idea of having her start of distrusting and almost hating Nat, but then it grows to respect/admiration/friendship. I also really like Natasha’s character!_ **

**Why are the media in this story so critical of Maddi and Steve? I’m not trying to be rude about it, but it feels like it’s mentioned so much that it doesn’t feel so natural, and I wanted to know more of the reasoning behind that choice.**

**_Don’t worry, I’m not at all offended by your question! This is actually a really good point, I’d love to elaborate! So I took this approach because of the articles I’ve noticed more recently on my social media feeds. Obviously these platforms take my data and know exactly which celebrities I’m more likely to click on an article about. Well I cannot help myself from reading those articles even when I know the “news” already. I also read comment sections because I want to know the opinions about some celebrities I admire (I’m really bad about staying away from comment sections in general… even when it’s toxic for my emotional/mental health). An article is written about literally every single public move made by celebrities/public figures. It’s crazy when you start to pay attention to it more. It’s also crazy how mean and critical comment sections are of these celebrities. Sure it’s easy to criticize a lot of them because of their high profile position, but they’re still human and it baffles me how mean some people are. And I think about how disheartening it would be for me if I were in that position where everything I do had people saying bad things about it. Even when there is praise and love for the person, there is still so much hate. So this is why I talk about it frequently because I think it would seriously affect my own mental health if I had to go through it, and I’m trying to put that a little bit into Maddi’s own journey. She (like myself) cannot stop herself from reading the opinions online and in the news even when they are negative, and the negative ones stick with her more than the positive ones._ **

**Will Steve tell Maddi that it was hydra who killed Howard and Maria? He doesn’t know it was Bucky yet right, not until Civil War, but he does know it was hydra?**

**_Yes, I believe he didn’t know it was Bucky until the tape in CW, but he did know it was hydra because of the montage Zola showed him in TWS. Now on whether he’ll tell Maddi or not, I’m gonna have to choose to not answer that one right now. I think it’ll be too spoilery, but you’ll probably see your answer soon. ;)_ **

* * *

August 1, 2014

“Alright, tell me what we’re working with?” I asked as hopped up on the table against the wall coming in and Steve stood next to me with his arms crossed. We were in Tony’s lab in New York along with Bruce. They had been doing research over the months of everything they could find out about my case in Hydra files. There was a lot more they could go by since everything was released, and Tony had a new found hope in finally cracking the code to my immortality. 

“Well first of all, my father did you a disservice in his security protocol for his own lab. You would have known it was broken into if I had set it up,” Tony claimed.

“Alright, it was 1946, there was only so much that could have been done,” I reminded him. “Besides, I’m not here to talk about the nature of how I ended up like this. We all know by now that it was a mix of my own irresponsibility and Hydra’s psychotic ideas that was the cause. We can be mad at Howard for a million different things, but he did get Hydra off my trail in ‘58, so let’s be glad I didn’t end up like Bucky okay?”

“Fair enough,” Tony replied. “Banner, you wanna get them up to speed on what we’ve learned from our research while I get the equipment ready for the tests?”

“Uh, sure,” Bruce replied as he got out his notes. “So the previous theory about your cells consisted solely of their ability to replicate so quickly that you heal at an extremely high rate. The assumption extended that this was why you couldn’t become sick, intoxicated, etc., and that you couldn’t age.”

“Are you saying that’s not actually the case?” Steve questioned in a confusion that I shared. 

“We didn’t know how to put your cell replication back to normal, but we didn’t realize that your cells were at a perfect standstill,” Tony told us as he reentered the room. “You as a whole stay looking the same and you can’t die, but your individual cells also never age.”

“But they can still die,” Bruce added. “They die from damage like a knife, but nearby cells replicate so quickly that it doesn’t matter and you as a whole heal almost instantly. Your body learns from each injury and gets faster each time it has to heal. Now those cells don’t age and will never die naturally. This is why you as a whole can never die.”

And THAT is also what prevents your aging,” Tony told us with excitement in his eyes. “That’s what we need to reverse to let you age again. If we can get your cells to start aging naturally again, then your entire body will too. They can still divide rapidly to heal yourself, but you’ll age like everyone else.”

“And you think you can make that happen?” I asked him with years of experience in being skeptical everytime we think we can fix me.

“I know I can,” he stated with confidence only a Stark can hold. “Bruce and I have been going over all the notes from everything they did to you back in 1946 and everything they kept track of since. I can easily figure it out now, I just need to get samples of your cells to actually start working on it directly. It’ll take some time for us to perfect it, but I promise we’ll get it right this time.” I wanted to believe him so badly, but I was weary of it. I learned not to get my hopes up on this topic years before, but then again, we never had this much information on it. 

Steve glanced my way, and I knew he could see my concern. I knew Steve was more hopeful and positive about it than I was. He was constantly reassuring me on the way over that there had to be good news waiting for us at the tower. “How come she can’t get drunk or sick? Where does that ability come from?” he asked the two scientists working on the project.

“That’s another aspect of your powers we learned about,” Tony began. “The third and final change to your cells was they gave them the ability to fight off foreign toxins/bacteria/viruses. Anything that doesn’t belong in your body, that is different from the norm, your cells attack it so fast that you can never get sick or feel any effects of drugs. There’s a wide range of different things your body can do from this, but they all fall under the same three categories: your cells’ ability to attack, rapidly replicate, and never age.”

“Wow,” I said in shock. “I never imagined we’d be able to know so much about this, thank you so much, both of y’all.”

“Thank you, Tony, Bruce,” Steve sincerely added.

“You know how much I’ve been wanting to help you with this,” Tony reminded me. 

“So you said you can get her cells to start aging again, but leave her other ‘powers’ unaffected?” Steve asked for clarification.

“Yes, the original materials her cells absorbed had three separate components, we can reverse just one of them and leave the other two alone. You can keep fighting crime, Miss Americana,” Tony replied and I shot him a glare. 

“What if I don’t want to keep fighting crime?” I asked. “You could reverse all three?”

“Sure, but would you really want that?” he shot back.

“Maybe?” I guessed. “I don’t know. Part of me just wants to be normal again.”

“Maddi, none of your powers are bad,” Steve tried to tell me. 

“But you know what people say about me. They think I’m an alien or something against the nature of God. They think I’m dangerous, that the government needs a better handle on me so they know exactly what I can do.”

“They think we’re all dangerous,” Steve gently reminded me with a half smile. 

“Hey Maddi,” Bruce said as he came closer to where I was sitting. He hesitated with his words, but I gave him my full attention until he decided on what to say. “I know what people say can be discouraging. Humans love to hate, but I think about the very nature of your own powers. They have the ability to do nothing but good for others. If you don’t have to worry about yourself getting hurt, you can focus more on helping. Whether that be your team, or the public, you can do a lot of good. If you can eventually grow old with the people you love, there’s no harm in preventing an early death some other way.” I held onto his words and gave him a silent nod. He was right, and there was nobody better to convince me. Bruce’s superhero powers consisted of something that could actually cause a lot of harm. He tried so well to only let the Hulk be used for good, but it was all very unpredictable. I knew if he had the ability to give it up, he would. But he’s telling me that if he had just my powers, he wouldn’t give them up. 

“Okay,” I said after giving him a thankful smile. “You can reverse the non-aging, but I’ll keep the rest. Just in case.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


September 21, 2014

Steve and I entered the Avengers Tower in full formal wear. Steve was in a very charming suit while I wore a deep purple gown that flowed out at the waist and down to the floor. We were attending a large event Tony had organized for Stark Industry and the outreach idea I pitched months before. While Stark Industries was a huge part of the financial support, it was of course my job to fund any charity outreach done by the company, it was also important to get investors already in the company and those considering to be on board with the idea. He thought it would be the perfect opportunity to host a large part for all board members, investors, partners, and media. 

_ “Hey, I have this really fancy event that Tony is hosting for my household energy project, do you wanna be my date?” I asked Steve over dinner. The event was in two weeks and Steve had recently gotten back after following a lead on Bucky’s location with Sam. I wasn’t sure what their next plan was as the lead took them nowhere of value, but I was hoping he would be in town to go with me. _

_ “Of course I want to be your date,” he said with a smile. I smiled back instantly. _

_ “Okay! I know it’s for work, but I’m honestly really excited. Tony’s done this in the past and they are always really nice. This time I get to go with you instead of alone, so it’ll be ten times as fun.” _

_ “I’m looking forward to it.” _

I really was excited while planning for the event, but the nerves hit the day it was scheduled. I hadn’t attended any of Tony’s parties since becoming a superhero, I was curious but also worried how the dynamic might be different. I was also nervous because I wanted it to be successful. I had spent the entire summer working on this project, and this was the time to get the money needed to carry it out. 

“So we just have to razzle dazzle the media and potential investors so the project can get good publicity and the money it needs,” I told Steve as we entered the main room. We had already spoken to a few reporters outside before going in, answering usual questions about the project but also about our relationship. Personal questions were always unavoidable no matter how business related the event was. Steve handled them all very well. 

“Maddi, Steve!” I heard our names being called out and we turned to see Pepper walking towards us.    
  


“I’m glad you’re here, I have the stage set up for us to welcome our guests and then you can mingle with as many people as possible while I find Tony and get him to talk up your idea,” she told me while leading me away from Steve. 

“I’ll be back soon,” I told Steve and he waved me off with a smile. “Save me a dance!” 

“Of course, now go do your job,” he replied. After introductions, I spent time speaking with so many different people I lost track. I also lost track of the time because before I knew it, it had been almost three hours later since I last spoke with Steve. I finally had a moment to myself so I looked around the large room to find him. He was talking with someone at the bar and I made my way over.

“Hey,” I greeted as I hooked my arm into his and held it with my other hand. “Sorry I abandoned you. Has your night been good at least?” I asked and smiled and looked over at me.

“Yeah it’s been great. You still owe me that dance, do you have time to spare?” he asked.

“Yes actually, I’ve been looking forward to it all night,” I said. There was a live band playing soft instrumental music the entire night and people were occasionally dancing when not getting a drink or talking with others. He held me close as I had one hand in his and the other on his shoulder. 

“This is nice,” he said with a light smile.

“It really is,” I agreed. “When was the last time we got to go out do something like this?” I questioned.

“Oh it must have been, what? 70 years?” he commented with a laugh.

“Yeah, I’d say that sounds about right.”

“This right here is contributing to making the night one of my favorites in a long time,” he stated. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t spend more time with you,” I answered.

“No, don’t apologize. Dancing with you right now is by far my favorite part of the night, obviously.”

“Obviously,” I echoed as my smile grew bigger.

“But while you’ve been going around the room fully focused, I’ve been able to watch you.”

“Sounds a little creepy, Rogers,” I teased and he laughed.

“Well, while I was creepily watching, I was just in complete awe of how amazing you are at it all.”

“Stop,” I told him and he shook his head.

“No I’m serious. You’re really good at your job. You talk so well with every person you interact with, and when you explain your ideas to other people, your entire face lights up. Everyone can see that you are truly passionate about what you’re doing, and you have this effect on people that makes them feel truly noticed when you talk with them.”

His words made me blush. “You’re too kind,” I told him.

“Well how many people have agreed to help fund your project? How much positive feedback have you gotten?”

“Only two people have turned me down so far,” I responded.

“See!” He exclaimed. “You are phenomenal at this. It’s not just the business and numbers side of your job that you're good at, it’s the creative ideas, the ability to connect with people better than anyone else I know. Those two who turned you down must be the most stingy people on the planet because they’re crazy to not give into you.”

I laughed at his comment. “Thank you, Steve,” I said with a smile. We looked at each other as we continued to slowly dance to the music. “I’m so lucky to have you here with me.”

“I’m the lucky one,” he immediately replied. “Ever since the very first date, you’ve been way out of my league.”

“Oh come on, Captain America, you really don’t believe that,” I argued with a smirk and a playful eye roll.

“I do! First of all, you are by far the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t even try to argue with me on that, it’s a fact. Second, the evidence in this room is clear enough that it is impossible for anyone to not see how wonderful of a person you are. Anyone who thinks differently clearly hasn’t taken even two minutes to talk with you.” The look in his eyes as he spoke made my heart melt. That alone made me know that I was actually the true lucky one to have him in my life. “You put up with me and all the hell my life has given you so that makes it clear you are an angel,” he added.

“Every word you say just reaffirms that I am the lucky one to have you. Nobody else in the world sees me the way you do, makes me feel the way you make me feel. You’re the kindest man I know, your strength goes beyond anything people can physically see, and I don’t know anyone who is as respectful and respected as you.” It was Steve’s turn to blush at my own words. I loved seeing the pink tint his face, it made me feel like we were young teenagers again.

“You know, I don’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you don’t see Captain America, you see me. I know you joke about it, but when we’re not teasing each other, I appreciate it so much. It’s always been like that, since 1942, you have been one of the very few people who still see me as just Steve. Without you here with me today, I wouldn’t have anyone who saw past all the charades and I’d be extremely lonely.”

“Well I wouldn’t say you ‘just Steve.’ But of course I see past the public superhero you because the real superhero is the ‘Steve’ you. When you were young and didn’t have the super soldier serum to back you up, you were my hero in so many ways. The world doesn’t care who we are past Captain America and Miss Americana, and they don’t have to. We see each other, and that’s all I want to care about.” I knew I worried too much about what people thought about me, but as I said it outloud to Steve, I knew it was truly what I wanted. It was something I would keep in mind more often. It didn’t matter what anyone said about me when I had Steve saying all these wonderful things to drown the bad out. 

“I love you,” he whispered and then snuck a quick kiss, remembering that we were still in the middle of the room dancing in front of everyone and I was still technically working.

“I love you too,” I replied after he pulled away. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


November 31, 2014

“Maddi, can you hear me? How do you feel?” I heard a voice and I opened my eyes to see Tony and Bruce. I looked around the room and saw Steve standing behind them with a worried look on his face.

“I’m alright,” I responded and then remembered why I was there. “Did it work?” I asked. I was in a large container that had been filled with a gas after I was injected with a serum they developed. This was all done in order to fix my anti-aging. Tony had called us back to the lab the previous day to explain how the entire thing would go after they spent the last few months working on samples of my cells and perfecting the process. 

_ “It’s very similar to how your cells became how they are in the first place, we’ve developed a separate area that we can safely regulate how much of this goes into your system,” Tony told Steve and I. _

_ “You might go unconscious, you said that happened the first time. But you will be able to remember what happened upon waking up because this time we excluded the chemicals Hydra had to make you forget about the events.,” Bruce added. I nodded, glad that I wouldn’t feel as disoriented as the last time.  _

_ “So you know how you said you wanted to keep the other parts of your cell’s powers?” Tony asked me. _

_ “Is that not possible?” I asked, confused.  _

_ “No, actually, the opposite,” he responded and Steve and I both looked at him confused. _

_ “We realized that the energy it would take to reverse the cell replication and attack functions was insanely high,” Bruce explained. _

_ “Insanely insanely high,” Tony added. “The reaction to make your cells that way pushed to an equilibrium that is basically impossible to reverse. The aging wasn’t that hard to figure out, but the rest of it would need us to create an energy going through you that we couldn’t possibly create on our own right now.” _

_ “Not to mention that even if we could do it, which we probably could develop a way eventually, it might kill you since we’d be stripping away the very thing that is making you indestructible,” Bruce told us.  _

_ “Okay,” I replied as I glanced at Steve. “I guess that’s out of the question then. But you know that what we are doing is going to work? And it’ll be safe?” _

_ “Yes, completely,” Tony assured.  _

_ “And how will we know it actually worked? She would all of a sudden look older,” Steve asked. _

_ “Same way we know it’s been working through our trials,” Tony said. “Different cell types have different normal lifespans. When we checked the cells with expected shorter life spans before the serum we developed, they lived well past their expiration date. But after getting it right, they lived and naturally died exactly when they were supposed to. We tried this with several different cell types, it’s worked every time. That’s why it's taken us a while. We’ll take samples of your cells again after we finish the reversal, and if they naturally die when expected, then you will age normally again.” _

_ I smiled at his explanation. “That sounds really amazing,” I told them. _

_ “We’ll know within a few weeks,” Bruce said. _

_ “By Christmas!” Tony added. _

_ “That’ll be a nice Christmas gift,” I replied. _

“You need to spend the rest of the day and probably tomorrow resting. We’re just gonna take samples of different cells and then Steve can take you back to your room,” Tony said. We had our own room to stay at whenever we visited at the tower. I nodded and agreed because I did feel very tired from the day. I hoped that meant it worked. After getting back to my room, Steve let me sleep for the rest of the day.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


February 5, 2015

I was in full superhero uniform as I stood in the room of a twelve year old girl at a children’s hospital in New York. Steve was in another room at that time in his uniform. It was something Steve had come up with back in October. He thought it would be a good idea for me to go out and see that my superhero persona could do more good than I originally expected. It was honestly an amazing idea because being able to make these children so happy just brought a lot more meaning to the job I once hated and completely avoided. We did that in DC for a while, but we recently moved back to New York. We didn’t feel like DC held much for us anymore. Steve and Sam had searched so long for Bucky, we had a feeling he wasn’t there anymore anyway. Also, Tony had been increasing his time into the Avengers and thought it would be better for us to be nearby. He was constantly trying to improve our suits and any tech needed for a possible fight. We were looking for a place of our own in New York but were staying in the Avengers Tower in the meantime. 

“Is it true that you can live forever?” The girl, Sofia, asked me as I sat down next to her in her bed. I smiled at her question.

“Actually, that’s not true anymore. I have been the same age since the 1940s, but recently that part of my powers isn’t there anymore. I’ll age just like anyone else now, but don’t worry, I’m still very indestructible so I can fight all the bad guys without worrying about getting hurt.” It was true. Tony and Bruce had successfully made my cells begin to age again. They had tested it many times and were sure they were back to normal. It didn’t feel real sometimes, but it also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me when they confirmed the information. 

“Well that’s good,” she responded right away. “You’re my favorite superhero, so I would be really upset if you stopped helping the Avengers.”

“Really? I’m your favorite?” I asked and I smiled wider.

“Oh definitely,” she said. “Your costume is so cool, you have glasses like me! I even got red frames so we could match.”

She did have red framed glasses and I had mine on, in clear but red framed mode as well. “Wow look at that, we do match,” I agreed. We talked for a while longer, I let her try on my glasses and turned on ANA so she could see all the cool stuff through them. When I said goodbye, I went to search for Tony in another room. He was down the hall playing chess with another girl who looked a little younger than Sofia. They seemed to be having a wonderful time as they were playing the game. The girl was having fun teasing Steve the entire time I watched them play, and Steve was wonderful at talking with her. After they finished, I said hello to her and learned her name was Monica.

As we left her room, Steve reassured he’d be back soon for a rematch as he lost their chess game. We were then directed to stop in the last room for the day, a little boy named Trevor who was no older than 5. He was extremely excited to see two real superheroes in his room. All the parents we interacted with were very kind to us and thankful for us being there, but Trevor's parents were in tears by how happy we made their son.

“He’s had a really hard time smiling in a while,” Trevor’s mom told me quietly as Steve was sitting next to his bed talking with him. “He’s had three surgeries and the radiation… he’s just always so tired and in pain. You have no idea how wonderful it is to see him so animated and happy again.” She had tears in her eyes as she spoke.

“Steve does have that effect,” I told her. “Trevor’s such a sweet boy, I’m glad we had time to meet him today.”

“Your husband is amazing with him, truly,” she replied. “He seems to have a real gift with kids.”

“Yeah, he really does,” I said as I watched the two as Trevor showed Steve his crayon drawing of Captain America. I turned back to her and gave her a small smile.

“This is so good, Trevor,” Steve marveled over the drawing. “You know, I’m an artist too. Do you want me to draw you something?”

“Yeah!” he answered.

“I think I have time to whip up something quickly,” Steve said as he began to draw on a blank piece of paper. He concentrated hard for a bit before finally showing the final image. He drew what was clearly little Trevor in the Captain America suit, holding the shield. “I may fight aliens and bad guys sometimes, but you’re the real superhero,” Steve told him as he handed the drawing over. Trevor was in awe and had a huge smile on his face. He quickly showed his parents. He turned back to Steve and then had a frown. “But I don’t know if I can be a superhero, I’m always scared.”

Steve gave him a serious look before responding. “You know, Trevor, everytime I put on my Captain America suit to protect people, I get very scared.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Oh definitely, just ask Miss Americana, she gets scared too,” Steve added.

“He’s right, there isn’t a fight we’ve gone into without being scared,” I said. 

“You see, you don’t have to be fearless to be brave or be a superhero,” Steve continued. “Being a hero means that we are just as scared as everyone else, maybe even more, but we still do the scary thing. That’s why you’re a hero, you may be scared, but you are the strongest boy I’ve ever met. You keep doing the scary things, and that’s what makes you so brave, just like me!”

“Wow,” Trevor responded and I smiled at the two of them, using everything in me to keep the tears from rolling down my face. We eventually said goodbye to the family and soon we were in the car we took to get there. I had been silent the entire way home as I kept thinking about watching Steve interact with the kids. He was so good at it. Anyone could tell that he absolutely adored spending time with every child. Of course I enjoyed my time with them all as well, but it just seemed so different with Steve. He was such a natural, and everything about him lit up around them. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t just the kids at the hospital. Children recognized us a lot when we were out, and the two of us loved to interact with them. Steve was always effortlessly perfect with children, no matter how his mood might be on a given day. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Steve asked me as we were in the living room of our floor in the tower. 

“Huh?” I said as I was deep in thought when he spoke. He took a seat next to me on the sofa, we had both already changed out of our uniforms.

“You’ve been really quiet since we left. What’s on your mind?”

“Do you wish we could have kids?” I asked as I looked directly at him. He hesitated and I spoke again. “Be honest with me. Like 100% completely honest, do you wish we could have kids of our own?”

He sighed and slightly nodded before saying “sometimes yeah a little.” I broke down crying at his confirmation. “Maddi-” he began but I cut him off.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I’m so sorry I can’t give you what you want, what you deserve to have. I’m really really sorry,” I sobbed as I threw my face into my hands and rested my elbows on my knees. I felt his hand on my back as he tried to comfort me.

“Maddi, don’t please cry. It’s not your fault we can’t have kids.” 

“But it is my fault because I’m the one who can’t have kids.” The fact that I couldn’t get pregnant came from my cells’ attack mode. Every sperm cell was a foreign toxin and was destroyed immediately. We had never talked about it before, but that was one of the things that couldn’t get reversed because of the high energy requirement in the reaction. 

“Hey that doesn’t matter,” he replied. “If you want kids, we could adopt maybe,” he tried.

“Oh yeah? And who’s gonna let us adopt? Two freaks who put their lives in danger every couple years!” I exclaimed as I looked up at him with more tears. Nobody would find us fit parents to take in a child. The government hates us, half the American population hates us.

“You never know,” he tried to convince me, but I could see in his eyes that even he knew I was right.

“Come on, Steve.” I gave him a look and he conceded on the idea. It was a pipe dream and we both knew it.

“Maddi, please don’t be upset about this. Don’t blame yourself, please,” He begged. “Sometimes yeah I want kids, but all the time, I’m very happy with my life. If we had kids, I’d be so happy to raise them with you, but if we never have kids, I won’t be any less happy. I promise, I am being 100% honest when I say that. I won the lottery twice with you: the first time you fell in love with me and when you gave me another chance 70 years later. And now we have the ability to actually grow old together, I’m the happiest man in the world. Yes I have thought about our life with children in it, but you are my entire life right now. I just need you by my side forever to truly be happy. And the risks Bruce and Tony said about reversing the rest of your powers with the amount of energy they were talking about, it’s just too high.”

I looked at him for a long time as I calmed down my crying. “Are you sure? You’re not just saying that?” I asked him. 

“Yes, I’m completely sure. Are you okay with that too? I don’t want you to feel sad because you want children but can’t have any.”

“No, I’ve come to terms with that a long time ago. I always wanted a big family, but what I have with you and my relationship with Tony, it’s okay to me that I can’t have kids. I was just devastated at the thought of making you unhappy because of it. You’re just so good with children whenever we’re around them and you are so happy around them.”

“The kids are the best part of the job, I love making them happy. It’s okay if those interactions are all I’ll ever get. They make me happy without making me sad and longing for my own.” I nodded at his response, trying to convince myself that he wasn’t lying to make me feel better. 

“Okay, if you ever change your mind, please tell me right away. I need to know if you feel differently, I can’t live with myself if you hide that from me,” I told him.

“I promise I’ll tell you if that happens,” he said. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I hugged him back, hoping he wouldn’t change his mind because I wouldn’t know what I would do if he did. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


June 10, 2015

I was walking towards the tower late at night after dinner with a colleague when I was suddenly grabbed from behind. Before I could scream, my mouth was covered. I tried to fight back, but I was caught by surprise and had no way of doing any damage with the way I was held. Soon I fell unconscious from the cloth covering my face.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


June 11, 2015

I woke up in an unfamiliar room that was extremely cold. I was strapped down and hooked up to a bunch of wires, doctors were in the room talking as they were analyzing whatever was on the computers.

“Hey!” I yelled out as I felt oriented enough to speak.

“She’s awake, go get him,” one of the doctors told another. I frantically tried to pull myself free, but it was no use.

“Hey, where am I?” I asked. “Who are you?” A man walked in and behind him a group of men carried in Loki’s scepter. My eyes widened in fear, knowing I was with Hydra agents. Tony, Natasha, Clint, Steve, and occasionally Thor had been going on missions together for months trying to find it after learning that Hydra had gotten a hold of it through SHIELD after the Battle of New York. 

“The immortal, I’ve been looking forward to working on you. Put her back under, it’ll be easier with her unconscious,” the man who entered the room spoke.

“Wait, No!” I began to say but whatever they used to knock me out that time worked extremely fast again. I was asleep before I could say or think about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger!!!!! I’m excited, I left it vague but obnoxiously revealing at the same time! Let me know your theories related to that or any other parts of this chapter. There was a whole lot that happened in this one. A lot of plot, and a lot of fluff, and a lot of development for later plots!
> 
> I also just love making up superhero science crap that sounds crazy but like it could be true. It’s an MCU signature move. It would be really cool if it was all real. I hope you liked it and that it all made sense when it came to the way Maddi’s powers work. 
> 
> Keep asking questions in the comments of my inbox and I’ll answer them again in future chapters like this one! Thanks for reading, I hope to update at least every other weekend now that classwork has significantly picked up.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry I took forever to update after a cliffhanger. School just got super crazy super fast so I had to put this off for a while. Honestly, while my story is probably riddled with things that are inaccurate to real life, the biggest one would have to be how little amount of breakdowns Maddi had while getting her double major Biochem and Physics degree. I also didn’t have her contemplate dropping out enough. I am stressed 24/7 and I always feel like I’m not smart enough or that I work hard enough to finish my Biochem/Physics degrees and I’m not also suffering from 1930s/40s sexism so… anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for still sticking around! 

June 19, 2015 (STEVE’S POV)

“Baron Strucker,” I said as I finally made my way into the Hydra compound and found Strucker. “Hydra’s number one thug.”

“Technically I’m a thug for SHIELD,” he replied. 

“Well then technically you’re unemployed,” I told him. “Where’s Madeline, and where’s Loki’s scepter?” 

“Don’t worry, I know when I’m beat. You’ll mention how I cooperated, I hope.”

“I’ll put it right under kidnapping and illegal human experimentation. How many are there?” Before I got an answer, I was knocked off my feet and down the stairs behind me. I looked up and saw a woman back up out of the room and close the door. “We have a second enhanced. Female, do not engage,” I warned the others.

“You’ll have to be faster than-” Strucker began but I cut him off by knocking him down with my shield. 

I bent down by him and looked him directly in the eyes before ordering “you’re gonna tell me where my wife is now.” He nodded and I got him up to lead me to Maddi. She had been missing for five days and our intel had her location at the Strucker experimentation site. I was worried about her since the moment I knew she was gone, knowing that she was on Hydra radar from the original plans leaking of their experiment on her in the late 40s and into the 50s. He took me into another room and there was Maddi on an elevated table strapped down and connected to wires and computers. She was wearing a tank top with shorts to have access to the different parts of her body that were hooked up to all the machinery. She wasn’t awake and I called for backup to get someone to handle Strucker while I got Maddi to safety as well. Thor was quick to help so I didn’t have to divide my attention. “Maddi, can you hear me?” I said as I tried to wake her up by tapping and moving her shoulders. Her eyes shot open and she looked quickly around the room before they soon locked onto mine.

“Steve,” she exhaled as she said my name. 

“Hey, I’m here,” I reassured her as I began to take off the straps around her body holding her down. “We pulled out all the shots, the whole team is here. We’ve got Strucker and you’re coming home with us.” she closed her eyes again for a moment and gave a small smile at my words. We worked together to safely remove everything connected to her so she could get off the table. “Can you walk back to the quinjet?” I asked her with concern as she tried to get onto her feet.

“Yeah,” she replied. “Yeah, I’m just a little tired, but I can do it.” I walked slowly next to her the entire way back to make sure she never fell or needed more of my help. When we finally arrived at the jet, Tony was also back with the scepter. “You weren’t kidding, the gang’s all here,” she commented as she saw everyone else. We had been going on raids of different Hydra bases before in search of the scepter, but Maddi and Bruce had stayed out of them until the last one. Neither of them felt comfortable using their abilities when it wasn’t absolutely necessary, and Bruce felt helping Maddi come home safely was a good enough reason to help.

“We weren’t about to let one of us stay at this place for too long. As soon as we got word of where you were, we were on our way. Besides, you know we had been eying Strucker for a while already, he has a number of offenses besides taking you,” Natasha told her. 

“And we’ve got the scepter back,” Thor added. 

“That you did,” Maddi echoed with a smile. “The long three year fight there is finally over; Hydra’s done too, yes?” Maddi asked me.

“Hopefully, yeah,” I told her. I knew she had been worried about these raids over the last few months. 

“Hey sit down, Lois Lane, you’ve had a long week of being kidnapped and you should be resting,” Tony as he walked over told Maddi and she gave him an annoyed look.

“What happened to Clint?” Maddi sat down and asked in concern over the man who was laying down with an IV in the middle of the jet.

“He was shot,” Tony replied. “He’s gonna be okay, we’ve got help back at the lab. Dr. Cho is coming in, and when she’s done with Barton, I want her looking over you to make sure you’re really alright.” I sat down next to Maddi and she took her hand in mine as she nodded to Tony. I was glad she agreed because none of us knew what Strucker actually did to her. Tony went to fly the jet back to New York. I grabbed a blanket from the nearby storage and wrapped it around Maddi, who I assumed was freezing from walking back in the middle of the mountainous snows of Sokovia. She thanked me and leaned her head on my shoulder as the jet began to fly away. I could tell her mind was racing with thoughts of probably the last five days, but I knew it wasn’t the time to talk to her about it yet. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


June 20, 2015

“Tony’s really having a party?” I asked as I turned to Steve in bed the morning after we got back to New York.

“Yeah, in two days,” Steve responded. “I think to celebrate the end of this hunt for the scepter, but even more importantly to celebrate finding you,” he smiled.

“Well, that’s very kind of Tony isn’t it?” I asked with a laugh. “However, I’m not sure how much I want to talk about my damsel in distress week with his guests. That whole getting captured and having to be saved by you was very 1940s of me,” I said as I sat up and against the pillows behind me.

“Yeah what was that all about?” Steve questioned with a smirk.

“Trust me, it’s not happening again.”

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked me again as he sat up in bed next to me and looked at me with genuine concern.

“Yeah, only old age can kill me now, remember?” I replied.

“Sure, but a lot more can hurt you,” he reminded me. “And I was also worried about you the entire time, I was scared.” He was worried about me, about my emotional state after being kidnapped.

“I was worried and scared too,” I said as I turned to face him. “When I wasn’t asleep at least, which I was out of it most of the time I was there. So I’m not really sure what he did to me.” I could tell that didn’t put Steve’s mind at ease at all. I took a deep breath before explaining everything I did know. “He tried to experiment on me with the scepter just like he did with many others. I don’t think he had much time to make progress or do any real damage because I really don’t feel any different, and Dr. Cho didn’t find anything unusual about me when checking me over. I was scared, but I’m okay now, really.”

“Okay,” he nodded with a slight frown. “You tell me if that changes at all. I don’t want you feeling like you have to hide any of those fears from me.”

“I won’t, I promise,” I gave him a kiss to express my thanks for caring so much. 

* * *

  
  
  


June 22, 2015

“You look nice,” I said to Steve as I was putting on my earrings in our room. He was wearing a blue button down shirt tucked into a nice pair of pants. He completed the look with his leather jack.

“Well looking at you now, I can tell I’m wildly underdressed. Should I go change? I’m gonna go change,” he responded and I stood up and pulled him towards me with my hands on his jacket.

“No, no,” I quickly replied. “I mean it, you look nice, we’re matching.” I was wearing a navy blue dress that flowed out at the waist and ended just above the knees. It was an older style, but I liked how it fit. 

“You look beautiful,” he told me as he leaned down to kiss my lips. I smiled into the kiss and then pulled back.

“We should be heading up, Tony keeps texting to ask if we’re planning to take another 70 years to get up there,” I said. 

“Then we shouldn’t keep him waiting,” Steve chuckled and we made our way to Tony’s party. Most of the guests were already there so we made our way around greeting people. Steve stuck with Sam when we saw him and said hello.

“Sam, it’s so good to see you here,” I said as I pulled him in for a hug.

“It’s good to see you, Steve had me worried when he said you were missing. I promise I was going to help, I just couldn’t make it in time.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I assured him with a small smile. “I’ll let you two catch up, I want to go have a word with Tony.” I hadn’t really spoken to Tony much since they found me, and I wanted to make sure he was doing alright. One of the main reasons I hadn’t really seen him was because he had Dr. Cho continuously doing tests on me even though the first day nothing unusual was found. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with it, but I knew it made him feel better. He had also been locked in his own lab for most of the days.

“Hello Rhodey, I’ve missed you!” I said as I slid up next to him in a conversation with Maria Hill, Tony and Thor.

“Maddi, I’m so glad you’re okay,” he responded and gave me a hug. I forced a smile, knowing that would be a common reaction among greeting people that evening. 

“Tony is Pepper here yet?” I asked curiously as I wanted to see my close friend.

“No,” Tony stated. “No, she’s not coming tonight.” I gave him a concerned look, trying to figure out just by his body language if she wasn’t coming because of work reasons or because of potential relationship issues. 

“What about Jane? Where are the ladies, gentlemen?” Maria questioned.

“Oh, Ms. Potts has a company to run,” Tony explained. 

“Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the Convergence has made her the world's most foremost astronomer,” Thor also added.

**“** And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on Earth. It's pretty exciting,” Tony bragged.

**“** There's even talk of Jane getting a Nobel Prize,” Thor tried to top Tony.

“Yeah, they must be pretty busy, because they'd hate missing you guys get together” Maria replied and then I heard the word “testosterone” come with a fake cough from her. I laughed. 

Rhodey ended up leading her away and then Thor had one final word to say “Jane’s better.”

“While I love hearing you two brag about two wonderful and intelligent women, I’m gonna have to steal Tony for a few minutes,” I told them.

“How are you feeling?” Tony asked me when it was just the two of us.

“I’m feeling fine, especially now that Dr. Cho is done with all the tests you keep begging her to do,” I told him with a pointed look.

“Hey I want to make sure you’re okay, she’s the best there is to determine that.”

“I know, I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. How are you doing? You’ve been stuck in that lab since we got back, have you gotten any rest?” I was worried about Tony working himself too hard, he did that sometimes and it never ended well.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Bruce and I were just trying to figure out more about that scepter. It’s a tough case to crack though, we’ll just have to send it back with Thor at this point.”

“Okay,” I could tell he was disappointed from the inability to get a better understanding of the foreign magic of the scepter. 

“Did you know your husband, in the middle of our fight to save your life, thought it was a priority to ‘language’ after I exclaimed ‘shit’?” I gave him a brief look while processing his change in subject. and then laughed loudly, throwing my head back.

“Alright, that’s kinda funny. You know, his time touring the country in the 40s as some character is what made him into someone who would accidentally correct your language. I promise, he swore worse than any of those Brooklyn boys growing up,” I chuckled at some of the memories. “Maybe it was my good old southern heart that changed him, I never swore a day in my life until decades after Steve was gone.”

“Oh I must get more of those old Steve stories, why haven’t you ever told me the ones that would embarrass him before?” 

“Because I know what you would do with an arsenal of embarrassing Steve stories, so you will not be getting any.” I knew his change in subject was a barrier he was putting up on me, but I let it go for the evening. I made my way around to talking with other people and eventually most of the guests made their way out of the tower by the end of the night. 

I was sitting around on the sofas with the people I would consider my friends as Clint teased Thor over the hammer. “Come on man, it’s a trick,” he exclaimed.

“Please, be my guest,” Thor told him.

We all then teased him as he approached the hammer on the table in front of us. “I still don’t know how you do it,” he laughed after failing to lift it. I let out a laugh of my own as I leaned back into Steve’s chest who was relaxed next to me. I was wearing his leather jacket and I felt very content with the company around me. For so long, I never thought I would get to feel like this again. 

“Smell the silent judgement?” Tony asked him.

“Please, Stark, by all means,” Clint offered.

“Never one to shrink from an honest challenge, it’s physics.”

“Tony, I spent many years of my life studying physics, and while I may not be as sharp on it as I used to be, I know that hammer is not on the side of physics,” Informed him as everyone else laughed along.

“I’d have to agree on Maddi with this one,” Bruce said with a smile.

Tony ignored us and gave it a try anyway. After the hammer remained still, he went off to get the glove of his suit to use as extra force of lifting. He made Rhodey do the same to help him. They both argued with each other as they tried, and failed, to move the hammer at all. “Hey, Miss Americana, go get your glove and help us out,” Tony said to me.

“Oh absolutely not,” I laughed at him. “You two look plenty ridiculous all on your own, I don’t need to join in.”

Bruce gave an attempt after Tony and Rhodey finally gave up. He pretended to get angry from the pulling as if the Hulk were to appear and we all just smirked at his antics. “How about the Captain over there gives it a try,” Bruce suggested as he sat back down.

“Go ahead Steve, no pressure,” Tony told him as Steve gave a look to Thor and made his way over to the hammer on the table. “Don’t worry, your wife probably won’t leave you if you aren’t worthy enough,” Tony added. I threw the small pillow next to me at him and it hit his face in surprise. I laughed and gave him a look to let him know he deserved it.

Steve rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the handle. “Come on, Cap,” Clint cheered him on.

He pulled and to all our surprise, it gave a slight creek. I could tell Thor was very confused by the movement. Steve tried to pull again and it didn’t even budge the second time. He sighed and put his hands up in defeat. Thor gave a laugh as Steve sat down next to me again and affirmed by stating “nothing.” 

“It’s alright babe, you’re more than worthy to me,” I wrapped my arms around his arm closest to me and gave it a small rub as I smiled up at him. He chuckled and smiled back at me. 

“And widow?” Bruce asked Natasha.

“Oh no, that’s not a question I need answered,” she said.

“All deference to the man who wouldn’t be king, but it’s rigged,” Tony stated.

“You bet your ass,” Clint agreed.

“Steve,” Maria called. “He said a bad language word.”

“You tell everyone about that?” he asked Tony. I could not contain my laughter and he gave me a confused look. “When did he have time to tell you?” 

“At the beginning of the party actually,” I said as I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he playfully rolled his eyes.

“The handle’s imprinted right? Like a security code,” Tony asked Thor. “Whoever is carrying Thor’s fingerprint is the literal translation.”

“Yes, that’s a very interesting theory, but I have a simpler one,” he began as he stood up and walked towards the hammer. “You’re all not worthy,” he lifted the hammer with ease. We all scoffed at his statement but before anyone else could say anything, we all heard a loud high pitched screech in the room.

“Worthy,” a slow sinister voice was heard by all of us from across the room. We saw a tangle of wires and what looked like one of Tony’s safety machines standing. “No, how could you be worthy?” it stepped closer to us as it spoke. “You’re all killers.” Steve and I were standing by then, as were the rest of the team.

“Stark,” Steve warned to get the situation under control. Tony tried to call out to JARVIS, but he didn’t answer.

“I’m sorry, I was asleep,” the broken down robot in front of us continued. “Or I was a dream. There was this terrible noise, and I was tangled in strings. Had to kill the other guy, he was a good guy.” 

“You killed someone?” Steve questioned.

“Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices.”

“Who sent you?” Thor asked.

Tony’s voice that sounded like a recording was played from the machine. "I see a suit of armor around the world".

“Ultron!” Bruce exclaimed.

“In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this chrysalis. But I'm ready. I'm on a mission.”

“What mission?” Natasha asked.

“Peace in our time.” Before any of us could react, more of Tony’s bots came flying through the glass wall and began attacking us. 

I ducked as one came flying towards me and Steve kicked up the table to block it. I pushed the buttons on the bracelets I wore and it sent the new Iron Gloves Tony made me. Soon they were flying onto my hands and wrapping up my arms. I didn’t have time to call for the boots as one of the bots sent a blast my way. I lifted my arms and blocked the blast with the armour and then sent a counter blast its way, taking it down. I stood up and saw Dr. Cho by the piano as another one flew towards her. I ran her way and slid under the bot to blast at it from her direction, as to not also hurt her in the process. 

“Are you alright?” I asked her and she nodded in response. As we stood to see the rest of them being taken down and Steve destroying the last one with the shield Clint threw his way. 

“That was dramatic,” the bot that Bruce called Ultron stated with the finished fight.  “I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to evolve? With these? These puppets? There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction.”

Before it could speak anymore, Thor crushed it with his hammer by sending it across the room. “Are you alright?” Steve asked me as I realized he had made his way over to me. 

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, you?” he nodded in response. We turned to Tony at the same time, both knowing he had to be the one who was behind making this happen. He looked down from our gaze and Steve scoffed and shook his head as he left the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, the beginning of AoU! I hope you liked it! I have some interesting things to explore in what I’ll be writing from this film so I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts, predictions, questions. I’d be happy to read and/or answer anything you send my way!


	21. Chapter 21

June 23, 2015

It was early in the morning, the sun was still down, and we all were in Tony’s lab while Tony and Bruce assessed the damages done. 

“All our work is gone,” Bruce said. “Ultron cleared out. He used the Internet as an escape hatch.”

“Ultron,” Steve scoffed and glanced at me as I stayed silent. 

“He's been in everything,” Natasha informed us. “Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other.”

Rhodey spoke up at that and said “He's in your files, he's in the Internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?”

“Nuclear codes,” Maria Hill said in realization.

“Nuclear codes,” he confirmed. “Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can.”

“Nukes?” Natasha question, confused. “He said he wanted us dead.” 

“He didn't say dead. He said extinct.” Steve pointed out firmly.

“He also said he killed somebody,” Clint said.

“There wasn't anyone else in the building,” Maria responded.

“Yes, there was,” Tony claimed and then he placed a hologram in front of us. I knew immediately what it was.

“JARVIS,” I whispered in shock and sadness. I had been given an extensive rundown on how he worked when Tony first showed him to me. His structure was damaged, destroyed. I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken for the program that had been a part of mine and Tony’s life for so long, named after the man that was one of my best friends. It was almost like losing him all over again, and I worried Tony felt the same way.

Bruce made his way to get a better look as Tony walked towards me, but avoided my eyes. “This is insane,” Bruce began. Him and Steve were discussing the death of Tony’s most precious computer program, but I wasn’t paying much attention anymore. I reached my hand out to his and took it in mine. I gave it a squeeze and he looked over at me with surprise on his face. I knew he was heartbroken by the loss, but he was trying to hide it. I gave his hand another squeeze to let him know that I understood, that I was morning with him, that he wasn’t alone, and that just because it was a computer program did not make it any less hard.

What brought me out of my own thoughts was him suddenly being ripped from my hand as Thor grabbed hold of his neck and lifted him up in anger.

“Come on, use your words, buddy,” Tony struggled to say.

“I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark,” Thor replied.

“Thor!” I shouted to get him to put Tony down. 

“The Legionnaire?” Steve questioned where the missing robot had gone. Thor threw Tony back before responding.

“Trail went cold about 100 miles out, but it's headed north. And it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again.”

“I don't understand,” Dr. Cho stated. “You built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?”

Tony began to chuckle and I sighed, knowing this reaction wasn’t going to make anyone happy. 

“You think this is funny?” Thor questioned.

No,” Tony started but continued to laugh. “It's probably not, right? This is very terrible. It's so terrible.”

“This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand,” Thor explained.

“Thor it’s already been done, can we please just take a minute to step back and figure out our next steps,” I tried to reason. Placing blame wasn’t going to get us anywhere, and we were wasting time.

“Did you know about this?” I heard Steve’s voice from behind me say. I spun around and looked at him. THe room was silent, all of us could hear the accusation in his tone.

“Of course I didn’t,” I sharply replied in disbelief. 

“You just seem to be very forgiving of all of this very fast,” he elaborated. 

Before I could even respond, Tony spoke up again. “No. I'm sorry. I think it is funny.” I closed my eyes, feeling a headache forming at the inability to get any control over the situation. Steve was upset with me, Tony wasn’t taking anything seriously. “It's a hoot that none of you get why we need this.”

“Tony, maybe this might not be the time-” Bruce tried but Tony cut him off.

“Really? That's it? You just roll over, show your belly every time somebody snarls?”

“Only when I've created a murder bot,” Bruce exclaimed.

“We didn't. We weren't even close. Which, by the way, not that it should matter to you, but I didn’t tell Maddi anything about this so you can lay off her,” Tony addressed Steve, only making him more visibly annoyed.

“If she were hiding this from me, I feel like it should actually matter to me,” Steve snapped.

“Can you not talk about me like I’m not standing two feet from you?” I asked him, offended by his words and assumption that I was hiding this from him.

“Were we close to an interface?” Tony turned back to Bruce, trying to shift the conversation back to Ultron. “No, so I don’t see how this was really us.”

“Well, you did something right,” Steve told him. “And you did it right here. The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD”

“Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole? Saved New York? Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing 300 feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but that up there, that's the endgame.” He pointed up to the sky and I could see his fears behind his eyes. He made Ultron because he never wanted New York to happen again. I was still upset by the decision to go through with this without telling anyone, but I understood his fears. I glanced at Steve and saw the empathy growing in his expression as well. I was certainly still angry with his accusations, but I was glad his own anger at Tony was slightly pushed aside, even if it was only for a moment. “How were you guys

planning on beating that?” Tony asked.

“Together,” Steve told him.

“We'll lose,” Tony warned us.

“Then we'll do that together, too,” Steve promised him. Tony had skepticism in his eyes, but I could tell Steve’s promise was helpful. “Thor's right. Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


June 23, 2015 (STEVE’S POV)

Maddi and I were back on our floor to change out of our party clothes. “What the hell was that, Steve?” she asked me we walked into our living room and it was just the two of us.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have assumed you knew and kept it from me, I’m sorry,” I stated immediately. “But Maddi, the way you often excuse everything Tony does, you defend him even when he’s clearly in the wrong, it just gets under my skin sometimes,” I told her the truth of how I was feeling. 

“I don’t excuse everything he does,” she responded.

“Look Mads, I get that you practically raised the guy. I know he means a lot to you, but things like this, creating this Ultron, you know it was wrong of him. You know he shouldn’t have done it, but you don’t tell him he’s wrong.”

“I know he shouldn’t have done it! I am plenty upset with him for not telling any of us. I have had more fights than I can count with him about his irrational decisions. You don’t need to tell me how to handle my relationship with him. I know him better than anyone else does. Anyone. I can tell when he’s hiding his pain, hiding his fears. He’s spent his entire life doing it and I’m one of the few people he trusts to let that barrier down. He created Ultron because he’s scared. He’s scared of losing us, of failing to protect the world, even you saw that.” I nodded, knowing what she meant about him being afraid, it was clear that he was worried. “He lost JARVIS today, and I know he’s blaming himself. JARVIS is named after the butler Howard had when Tony was growing up. He was a kind man who was very important to Tony, he was one of my best friends. He died old and in Tony’s care a little over 10 years ago, and JARVIS was named to honor him. That computer program was a friend to Tony, his death means a lot.”   
  


“I’m sorry,” I told her sincerely, knowing why she had been more concerned with Tony in that moment they found out JARVIS had been attacked by Ultron. In the moment, it annoyed me and made me think she had been hiding something. However, I understood then that wasn’t the case. “I’m really sorry Maddi,” I continued. “It’s hard to remember sometimes that things are the way they are. That you have an entire history, an entire life that didn’t involve me. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. Tony just 

“You know, on the surface you two are so different,” she grabbed my hand as she spoke. “But you both care so much about the people in your life. So much that it affects the way you think really. You show it in different ways, but you both care a lot. And even though I spent many years living a life without you physically there, you were always a part of my life, a part of who I was. That’ll never change.” I smiled lightly at her words. Sometimes I got inside my own head when I thought too much about our relationship like this. It was just too obvious sometimes that we had grown decades apart, but we still were trying to make it work. I loved her and I knew she loved me, and we were getting better at it with time.

We were all eventually back in the conference room upstairs after changing and getting more info on Ultron. Hill had informed me on Strucker being killed by Ultron, and I relayed the message to the rest of the team. 

“Everything we had on Strucker's been erased,” Natasha told us as she searched the database online. 

“Not everything,” Tony told us. “We’ve got tons of paper files on this guy, we’ll go digging in there for something. 

We gained access to boxes of files that could be deemed helpful “Baron Strucker had a lot of friends,” I commented as we started going through them.

“Well, these people are all horrible,” Bruce said while putting one file down.

“Wait! I know that guy,” Tony pointed to the file and got our attention. “From back in the day. He operates off the African coast. Black market arms.” I gave him a look, knowing that his history in making weapons put a guy like that on his radar.

“There are conventions. All right? You meet people. I didn't sell him anything.” He told me. “He was talking about finding something new, a game-changer.”

“What is that?” Maddi asked, pointing to the man’s neck.

“It's a tattoo, I don't think he had it,” Tony said.

“Those are tattoos, this is a brand,” Thor explained.

Bruce searched to find what it meant. “It's a word in an African dialect meaning "thief." In a much less friendly way,” he told us.

“What dialect?” I asked.

“Wakanada, Wakanda.” he struggled but got the country of origin.

“If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods,” Tony said with concern. I knew immediately that was where the vibranium had originated for my shield. 

“I thought your father said he got the last of it,” I asked.

“What comes out of Wakanda?” Bruce asked.

“The strongest metal on Earth,” Maddi stated as she picked up my shield and twirled it in her hands. 

“Where is this guy now?” I asked Tony with urgency.

“I know where we can find him, let’s suit up, we’re gonna be flying out as soon as we’re ready,” he told us. Everyone agreed we had to move quickly, if Ultron knew what we knew from the files, he’d want that vibranium for himself. It was our best bet on finding him, and we couldn’t waste any time. 

As we approached his ship off the coast, we made a plan of action going forward. “Banner, you stay here unless we call a code green. Stark, Thor and I will go in first with Barton and Romanoff hanging back if needed. Maddi, I want you to do a round search with your glasses and ANA for the vibranium, maybe we can get it out without them noticing.” They all nodded at my direction and we made our way in. 

We found Ultron in a rage talking with the man in the files. “Stark is- He's a sickness!” he shouted, unaware of our entry. I hoped his distraction would give Maddi a chance to find that vibranium.

“Junior,” Tony spoke to get his attention. “You're gonna break your old man's heart.”

“If I have to,” Ultron responded. 

“Nobody has to break anything,” Thor said.

“Clearly you've never made an omelet,” Ultron joked. 

“He beat me by one second,” Tony complained.

“Yes. He's funny, Mr. Stark,” the Maximoff brother spoke up. “It's what, comfortable? Like old times?” He was referring to the illegal weapons dealing that was the main profit of this ship. 

Tony defended himself by saying “this was never my life.” 

“You two can still walk away from this,” I called out to the twins.

“Oh we will,” the sister replied.

“I know you've suffered,” I tried to reason with them, but Ultron spoke over me.

“Captain America, God's righteous man. Pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but-”

“If you believe in peace, then let us keep it,” Thor spoke.

“I think you're confusing peace with quiet.”

“What's the vibranium for?” Tony asked him. 

“I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan,” he responded with sarcasm. Before anyone else could speak, he blasted at Tony and sent him flying back. Tony flew back towards him and the two fought up into the air.

“Maddi, do you have the vibranium?” I spoke over our communication devices, hoping she had enough time to get to it.

“I got a little held up by their guards with guns,” she responded and I could hear gunshots going off, but there were from too many different directions to know where she was. I fought the bot that was helping Ultron, but the Maximoff twins fought too, knocking us down with their powers. With Thor’s help, we were able to take one of them down. After getting the bot, I was able to push the Maximoff brother down with my shield.

“Stay down, kid,” I told him as he laid back.

“Hey Thor, I’m gonna need your help over here when you get the chance,” I heard Maddi’s voice again in my ear. I fought off some of the nearby men with their guns, and I had a feeling Maddi was doing the same wherever she was. 

“Thor, status?” I asked him, making sure he was on his way to help her.

“The girl tried to warp my mind. Take special care, I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately, I am mighty,” he trailed off at the end of his sentence and before I could respond, I was pushed fast and far back by the brother and was on the ground. Soon I started to feel dizzy and confused as I laid there. I stood up and felt myself take off my helmet because it felt like it was squeezing my head, but it also felt like my hands were acting on their own. As I rounded the corner, I was back in the Avengers Tower on the floor Maddi and I shared. It was eerily quiet in there.

Soon Maddi came out of our bedroom quickly and walked towards the sofa in the middle of the room. There was a suitcase there that I didn’t notice before, and she was placing more of her things inside. “What are you doing?” I questioned with confusion. She paused and stared at me with disbelief.

“You know what I’m doing, Steve. I can’t stay here anymore,” she vaguely replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m tired of having the same conversation, the same argument over and over,” she snapped at me. “It’s not working. And if I have to choose, I’m gonna choose Tony. He’s my family, and you aren’t anymore. Things have changed, and you can’t change them back.” Her words felt distant the more she spoke. I felt dizzy and my head was throbbing. 

“No, no Maddi,” I tried, but my voice seemed to travel in slow motion. “I’m here, I’m trying.”

“It doesn’t matter how much you try. He’s more important to me, and I’ll always choose him first.” she zipped up her bag and as she walked out the door, I tried to go after her. When I pulled it open, she wasn’t on the other side. The other side wasn’t even still our floor, it was a crowded 1940s dancing club. 

There was loud music and people were laughing and talking and dancing. I was back in my old military dress uniform and I felt very overwhelmed by the sensory overload. Loud flashes of photography went off near me as I was walking aimlessly through the crowd, the sound made me flinch. A soldier laughing with wine spilled on his uniform made me look twice because I thought it was blood at first. Some of the people were starting fist fights and I wanted nothing more than to get out of that room. I felt a hand on my arm and her voice above all the noise. “What’s a handsome man like you doing without a dancing partner?” Maddi asked as spun around to see her.

She wore a lovely blue dress that fit perfectly with the rest she used to have in her wardrobe all those years before. Her hair was curled and styled in a typical 40s fashion. Her bright red lips smiled as she looked up at me. “Maddi?” I said in shock.

“The war is over, Steve,” she told me. “We can go home; be a family, you and I.” Before I could say anything else, she was gone, along with everyone else in the room. My memories of our dancing, our days dreaming of the life we were going to build together after the war, they all stayed in my mind as I looked around the empty, lonely room. 

Soon I wasn’t in the room anymore, I was laying on the floor. It took me a moment to realize where I was, on the ship where we were fighting Ultron. My helmet was off, but I couldn’t remember what I did with it. I was slowly gaining back more feeling and awareness in my body. I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain and disorientation. Then I heard her voice, and it sounded as pained as I felt. It wasn’t very loud, but it grounded me a bit more. I had to find her. I could hear her whimpering, and I forced myself to sit up and fight the dizziness. I listened better for Maddi and was soon able to stagger towards the continuous sound of her soft cries. 

I finally found her leaning against the wall in a sitting position. She had her arms wrapped around herself and was staring straight ahead. “No, please, no,” she repeated almost incoherently as tears fell down her face. I managed to kneel in front of her and took her hands in mine. 

“Maddi,” I whispered. “Maddi, I’m here. It’s Steve, I’m here,” I tried a bit more to pull her from whatever she was seeing. Meanwhile I was fighting off my own visions that lingered in the back of my mind. 

“Thor? Cap? Are you back, can you hear me?” I heard Clint’s voice in my ear. “I’ve got Nat, I don’t know where Maddi is. I’m gonna get her to our jet and I’ll come back for you guys.”

“I-I’m with Maddi,” I struggled to respond but found the words. “I’ll get us back to you.”

“Steve?” Maddi whispered as she made eye contact with me. She was looking at me, but her eyes were still clouded. She was back but barely at all. 

“Come on, we-we’re getting out of here.” We took our time as she struggled to stand. I forced myself to be strong enough for both of us. I did everything I could to block out the anguish I felt inside. Maddi’s safety was my main priority and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from getting us back to the jet so she could sit back down. She grasped my hand and squeezed it with all her strength. I was grateful for that because it kept me anchored just as much as I hope it did for her. 

“I’ll find Thor,” Clint said as he saw us walk into the jet. He stood up from sitting next to Natasha and looked concerned but also relieved to see that we made it back. “Stark’s got Banner, hopefully.” I was about to help Maddi to sit down but she just fell to the floor next to the seat instead. I put myself right next to her and wrapped my arm around her while still holding onto her hand with mine. She shuddered as she closed her eyes. I exhaled and was beginning to feel the intense failure build up in me. Ultron was no doubt long gone, our entire team was barely holding on, and I couldn’t keep Maddi safe from whatever terrors she was experiencing. I held onto her tighter, wishing I could fix it all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, very heavy chapter. I wanted to get this one out to you quickly because I felt the last one wasn’t that great with it being mostly dialogue straight from the movie. I hope you liked this one! Please please please tell me your thoughts, I worked really hard to get this one out within the week, even with my finals approaching, and I want to know what you think. What do you think of Steve’s visions? Do you have predictions of what Maddi saw? I can’t wait to get the next chapter out to you, and I hope to read and respond to your reviews soon! Thanks for the new readers and the returning readers and the favorites!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: warning for this chapter- I have described a fairly frightening/intense scene. It’s slightly gory in nature too, but I don’t describe in a lot of detail. I just wanted to make sure to warn, the italicized flashback is what I’m referring to.**

June 24, 2015

“The news is loving you guys. Nobody else is. There's been no official call for Banner's arrest but it's in the air,” I heard Maria’s voice over the speaker of our jet, but I made no move to acknowledge or say anything in return. Our entire team sat quietly as she spoke with Tony. Steve’s arms were around me and he was holding one of my hands and I gripped it tightly with my own. I hadn’t let go since he found me. My visions from before were threatening to take over me in flashes, but I tried to fight them off. I must have physically shown my battle somehow because Steve’s atoms around me tightened. He put his lips to my head in an attempt to comfort me, maybe he could just sense how I was feeling. I closed my eyes and focused on his touch to ground myself. Having him with me was the only thing still keeping me together. I didn’t sleep the entire time Clint flew us to wherever he was planning, and I didn’t speak at all either. I wasn’t sure who else was actually sleeping, everyone stayed quiet. 

When the sun had finally risen, we landed on a large open field with a little farm house. Steve helped me up and out of the jet. We walked into the house and were surprisingly greeted with lots of joy and life inside. I took a step back in surprise as two children came running into the room to hug Clint. His family that we had no idea about were very happy to see him. I felt dizzy again at the movement, at the happiness. I interrupted their reunion abruptly.

“I’m sorry,” I said and they looked at me. “Do you have a room, somewhere I can lie down? I just- I need to-” I couldn’t find the right words, I just knew I needed to get out of there. 

“Upstairs, first room on the left,” Clint informed me and I nodded, ignoring all the concerned expressions. 

“Let me walk you up,” Steve started but I waved him off. While his presence was a great comfort before, it all of a sudden felt very suffocating. 

“No, no,” I said as I walked towards the stairs. “I-I’m okay. Please, just- I don’t want- I’ll be okay.” I didn’t say anything else after stammering out what I could, and I walked upstairs without giving anyone else a chance to say more. I found the room I was instructed to go to and I sat on the bed, trying to block out the sounds in my head. I didn’t want Steve to come upstairs to ask me questions about what I saw. I didn’t want to tell him. I took a nap over the blankets on the bed, but I knew I wasn’t asleep for long when I jolted awake. A change of clothes and a towel was left at the end of the bed for me, I didn’t know who dropped it off while I slept, but I was grateful for it. I used the shower in the hall, nobody else was there so I was able to sneak in and out and back into the room without having to speak with anyone. I changed into the fresh clean clothes and sat on the edge of the bed that faced the window. Outside, Steve and Tony were chopping wood in the Bartons’ yard. I wasn’t sure how long I was sitting there watching them, lost in my thoughts, when I heard a soft tap on the open door behind me. I looked over and saw Natasha standing there in fresh clothes of her own. 

“Can I come in?” she asked softly. I nodded and looked back out towards Steve. I focused on his movement with the axe to keep me from trailing off into my own mind. She sat down next to me and joined me in looking out the window. We sat in silence for a while. Natasha made the step of coming to me, it was my turn to make the step of talking first.

“Clint’s got a nice family,” I tried pathetically.

“How do you know, you got out of there too fast to even meet them,” she teased lightly to try and get me to go beyond small talk, I had a small smile on my face before I got the courage to talk more.

“I was supposed to have a child, a long time ago,” I didn’t turn to see her reaction, though I knew she kept a stoic face like always when processing new information. I just kept watching Steve outside as I continued. “When Steve was fighting in Europe and I was working with Howard Stark, we got married. I was pregnant later that year, and I had a miscarriage before our first anniversary. It sucked,” I said with full honesty. “And then Steve was dead just months after that, sometimes, especially with how long it’s been, it felt like it all happened within a week.”

She waited a bit until asking the obvious question from what I said. “Is that what she showed you?”

I shook my head, “no, I mean not technically.” I struggled to talk about it, but I had to, and I didn’t want to with Steve yet. “The thing is that I can’t have kids at all anymore. It’s the serum I was given decades ago, and it’s a part that is irreversible. Tony and Bruce tried, but it’s too dangerous even if they could. I gave up on the idea of having a family like that a long time ago, and I thought I wouldn’t ever want it again. But with Steve back in my life, it’s all I think about sometimes. And then I also think about how I never want to go back to how I felt before Steve was back. The thought of him growing old without me before Tony and Bruce fixed that. Now I think about how only old age can kill me. Steve could die, it’s hard for him to die, but it could still happen. And then I’ll be left alone to live the rest of my life alone all over again.” I paused as I felt overwhelmed by my feelings. 

Natasha took my hand in hers and for the first time in our long complicated relationship since the first time I met her, I felt like she was truly my friend. Not someone who was on the same team as me, or someone who was a friendly acquaintance, but someone who genuinely cared about me. It was a wonderful feeling after years of distrust. 

“She showed me my life in the 40s as it should have been,” I finally got around to what actually was happening in my head since we were on that ship. “After the war, it was Steve, me, and our baby. I never even knew if the baby I was supposed to have was a boy or a girl, but I felt it in my heart that that baby in my vision was the same baby I lost before.”

_ Steve was holding my baby laughing, he looked over and gave me a warm smile. I tried to walk over to them, but I ran into a clear wall. I frowned as I put my hands up and felt the invisible force that was keeping me from my family. I knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. Steve was no longer smiling. Our baby began to cry. Suddenly I heard a gunshot and I paused in pain. I looked down to see my shirt stained in blood, I had been shot, but soon it healed up on it’s own like it always did. I looked back up to my family, and I saw the very same gunshot wound in Steve’s abdomen.  _

_ “No!” I shouted as I hit the invisible wall in front of me. Another gunshot went off and once again that sharp feeling of pain came but in my shoulder this time. The wound healed just as quickly, but like the first, Steve was also shot in his shoulder with no plans of healing itself. This continued as I was shot multiple times and each one hit Steve just the same. I cried and I screamed trying to reach him, but I was stuck just 20 feet away. Steve dropped to his knees in pain and he kept hold onto our child, it was becoming too much for him to bear on his own.  _

_ “Steve, Steve! No please, stay with me, please.” I fell to the ground to keep our eyes at level with each other. The invisible wall was now covered with my blood that had escaped before my wounds healed themselves. I couldn’t get to him, I couldn’t save him, and I couldn’t save our baby. Before I knew it, I felt the pain in my head that usually would have knocked me out. I’ve recovered from a bullet to the brain, but not without substantial recovery time. This time it didn’t make me unconscious, so I was able to see the very moment when the same bullet went into my little baby’s forehead. I screamed so loud that I couldn’t tell if there were more shots or not.  _

_ “No, please, no!” I kept repeating to whoever could hear me. I couldn’t save my baby but I needed to stave my husband. He was laying on the floor, just as close to death, and I couldn’t reach him. I had never felt more distraught, more helpless, more destroyed in my entire life.  _

The memory of the vision replayed in my head as I told minimal details to Natasha. It was like I was back in that awful room all over again. She squeezed my hand and I was snapped out of it. I looked at her and I felt tears on my face. After giving me some time, she finally spoke. “While I can’t say that I know exactly what your vision felt like, I still know a lot of your feelings. I spent years of my life not ever thinking I wanted children, not ever caring about the fear of losing someone I loved because I had nobody to love. I care now, about both actually. And so it seems that not being able to have children that you someday may want with the person you love is becoming a common trait on our team.” I didn’t ask her to elaborate, I could imply she meant herself. I squeezed her hand back to let her know I understood without making her explain more. “I can’t guarantee that Steve won’t someday die and leave you here again,” she continued. “That fear will probably never go away, but the love you two have, to cause such a fear in you, it must really be the greatest love in the world. I hope that love can be enough to get you through any of your other pains”

I stared at her in awe, and my heart was forever thankful for her words. I didn’t know that talking with Natasha would be what helped me, but the usually cold assassin had such a caring heart for those she loved, and I felt honored to be on the receiving end of that love. “Thank you, Nat. Thank you.”

I pulled her into a hug and she returned it. “You have very disturbing fears,” she said in a much lighter tone and I let out a laugh as we pulled away. “No really, like that was some heavy stuff you had to go through and that’s coming from me and my past.” We laughed together at her words.

“Do you want to talk about yours?” I asked when our laughter died down. I wanted to be there for her like she was for me if she needed me. 

Thank you, but I’ll be alright. Talking with you already did help, and I’ve let some of it out to others before. We’ll be okay,” she smiles and I nod in response. “Now, you should really come downstairs to properly meet Laura. She’s really great, you’ll love her.”

“Yes, that’s a great idea, let’s do that,” we get up and head down the stairs to find Clint’s wife walking in through the front door. 

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, Maddi right? I’m Laura,” she introduced herself when she saw us walking down.

“Hi Laura, thank you so much for taking us in here, I know it’s probably a lot to throw on so suddenly, but I really appreciate it. And I’m sorry for rushing out earlier, thank you for letting me use the room up there,” I spoke quickly trying to express my gratitude and also apologize for my previous actions of ignoring the family.

She gave a laugh as shook her head. “No need to apologize, I’m glad to meet you now.”

“You have a wonderful home, and two adorable kids,” I smiled at the two children who were playing across the room as we walked to the kitchen and sat down. 

“Thank you,” she smiled. We spoke for a while and then I helped her begin dinner. There were many people to feed, and we all needed to have our energy for whatever could come next with Ultron. 

Just before dinner was ready, Steve came in from outside. “Maddi,” he said with shock written all over his face. “I was just going to go up and check on you.” I smiled and motioned for him to sit down. 

“I thought I’d help Laura with dinner,” she gave me a smile and I returned it. 

“That’s great,” he stated sincerely.

Soon more people gathered in the living room/dining room area to join us for dinner. The last arriving from outside were Tony and Nick Fury. We all stared at them in surprise. “Yeah, he didn’t tell me he was coming either,” Tony commented as they walked towards us. Apparently Maria was in contact with him and he came to discuss the issue of Ultron with us and what we needed to do next. After dinner, it was already dark outside, and we were in full discussion over our next move. 

“Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he's building something. The amount of vibranium he made off with, I don't think it's just one thing,” Fury told us as he got himself another drink in the kitchen. We were all spread out around the main floor of the house, I sat next to Nat at the table still. 

“What about Ultron himself?” Steve asked. 

“He's easy to track. He's everywhere,” Fury replied. “It still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans, though.

“Is he still going after launch codes?” Tony questioned. 

“Yes, he is. But he's not making any headway,” Fury informed us.

“I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school on a dare,” Tony emphasized. I nodded in confusion, if Tony made Ultron with the intended intelligence, he should have no problem getting those nuclear codes. 

“Well, I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that,” Fury began.

“Nexus?”

“It's the world internet hub in Oslo,” Bruce told him. “Every byte of data flows through there.”

“Fastest access on Earth,” I added. 

“So, what did they say?” Clint asked from his spot next to Tony playing darts across the room. 

“He's fixated on the missiles. But the codes are constantly being changed,” Fury explained.

“By whom?” Tony asked.

“Parties unknown.”

“Do we have an ally?” Natasha asked.

“Ultron's got an enemy. That's not the same thing. Still, I'd pay folding money to know who it is,” Fury said.

“I might need to visit Oslo, find our unknown,” Tony pondered the idea.

“Well, this is good times, boss, but I was kind of hoping when I saw you, you'd have more than that,” Natasha told Fury.

“I do. I have you,” Nobody in the room was buying what he said. We certainly did not feel like the ultimate solution to all of this anymore. “Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears, everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream up. Here we all are, back on Earth, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this, laid in a grave. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard.”

“Steve doesn't like that kind of talk,” Nat said with a smirk in his direction. 

“You know what, Romanoff?” Steve shot back in defense of the ongoing joke of him correcting Tony’s foul language. I let out a genuine laugh that felt wonderful to experience after the long few days. Steve looked at me and smiled. I could tell he was relieved to see me happy.

“So, what does he want?” Fury asked us.

We spent the next minute bouncing off the ideas of Ultron’s motives and how he wanted to get there. Soon we realized he wanted an evolved version of human life, one that could withstand destruction. Vibranium was the answer, and the way it could be born into a thinking person was with the regeneration cradle Dr. Helen Cho designed. We soon knew Seoul, South Korea was the place we needed to go next. We had to get there soon before Ultron could get himself a body made of vibranium. We all suited up and made a plan.

“I'll take Maddi, Natasha, and Clint,” Steve told Tony as I walked over to them. We were the only three in the front room of the house.

“All right. Strictly recon. I'll hit the Nexus. I'll join you as soon as I can,” Tony replied. 

“I don’t like us splitting up,” I said. “We barely made it with all of us there yesterday, I don’t like going in split up.”

“I know,” Steve agreed. “But we don’t have much of a choice right now. We don’t want Banner in that situation again, and Tony is the best person to figure out who is helping us.”

“Aw thanks for the compliment, it means so much from you,” Tony teased.

“The four of us can handle it, I know we can,” Steve continued while ignoring Tony. I nodded, hoping he was right. “If Ultron's really building a body…” Steve worried out loud.

“He'll be more powerful than any of us. Maybe all of us,” Tony replied, not really helping my own fears, but he was right. “An android designed by a robot.”

“You know, I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science ever created was me,” Steve stated. I smiled at him and patted his shoulder. 

“I'll drop Banner off at the tower,” Fury said as he walked into the room and put on his coat. “You mind if I borrow Ms. Hill?”

“She's all yours. Apparently,” Tony added with sarcasm. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don't know. Something dramatic, I hope,” he answered. The rest of the team soon made their way to the front of the house and we said goodbye to each other. Tony flew himself in his suit, Bruce went with Fury, and Clint flew the rest of us in our jet.

“We have a few hours until we’ll get there, you guys might want to get some sleep first, I don’t know the next time you’ll be able to.” Clint said as he began to lift off from the farm. 

“What about you? You’ve been awake for a while,” I asked him.

“I slept a bit in my own bed, I’m fine, honestly.”

We nodded in response and leaned my head against Steve’s shoulder to try to get some sort of rest before we arrived in Seoul. 

  
  
  


June 25, 2015

Before I even realized that I was asleep, I was being gently nudged awake by Steve. 

“Mads,” he whispered. “Wake up.”

I quickly looked around, expecting to see us landed or close to. The sun was up again, but all the jumping time zones in the past few days made me feel more than disoriented. “Are we there?”

“No, no,” he replied. “You just- it seemed like- I think you were having a nightmare, or close to one. I just didn’t want it to get worse for you so I thought it was best to wake you. We’re not too far out anyway.” I nodded, after he told me his reasoning, I began to remember my dream. It was the same vision I was shown all over again, but it just hadn’t gotten to the bad parts yet. I was glad he woke me before it did. 

“Thanks,” I told him. “Did I wake you?” I asked, concerned that I could have been a bit loud while sleeping.

“No, I wasn’t asleep.” I turned to him and frowned. I didn’t think he had gotten any sleep since we were back in New York. He avoided my eye and felt like such an idiot.

“She got to you,” I whispered. 

“What?” he asked, confused. 

“When you found me, and when you took such good care of me, I thought she didn’t get to you, but she did, didn’t she? She made you see something.”

He sighed and nodded. “Yeah, she did.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I placed my hand lightly on his face, and he closed his eyes, clearly comforted by the touch.

“In the moment, you were more important. I needed to be strong for both of us, so I pushed it aside to help you.” My heart warmed at his words. After so many years, I was still so taken aback sometimes by how much Steve loved me. 

“Well if you want to talk about what you saw, I’m here to listen,” I assured him.

“Thank you,” he smiled slightly. “You can tell me whenever you’re ready about your vision too, or if you’re never ready, that’s alright.”

I took a deep breath as I tried to give a small smile at his words. I thought for a moment, knowing I didn’t want to go into any detail that I relived when telling Natasha, but I also wanted to tell him part of it. “Losing you,” I stated. “You are the most important person in my entire life, and I fear losing you again.” I decided leaving everything about children and our lost baby was for the best. Bringing it up wouldn’t change anything, and I didn’t want to put that on Steve. It was my internal problem to deal with. He smiled and then wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my head before speaking.

“I’m not going anywhere, not if I can help it,” he promised me. I nodded, praying he could keep it. “Hey, you know it’s your birthday right?” he asked after pulling back and looking at me. 

“Is it really? I can barely keep track of what day it is right now.” 

“Yeah, I realized it back at Clint’s house that it’d be your birthday in the morning. Sorry this is how you have to spend it.”

“Nah it’s alright. I’ve had more birthdays than I’ve ever needed, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Maybe, but this one I think is pretty special.”

I raised an eyebrow at his statement. “Really? How so?”

“Today is your first birthday in almost 70 years where you are actually a year older. Physically, what does that make you now? 29?” He smiled as he spoke and I returned it as I thought over what he said.

“It makes me younger than you now, without the frozen years you’re… around 30? Yeah that’s right I think. Quick math. It’s what I’m good at.” I gave him a smirk and he laughed.

“I feel much older, that’s for sure.”

“So do I,” I said with a sigh. 

“We’re here guys,” Clint called back to us, and so we stood up ready for the mission ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! I love the way of bringing Maddi and Natasha together as real friends, and even though this may seem sudden in their relationship, I think it fits really well. Also with what Maddi decided to tell Steve about her fear/vision, it was the perfect thing to tell Steve after he experienced his own. Being reassured of her love for him was what he needed to push aside the thought of her leaving him because of his strained relationship with Tony. While Tony is extremely important to Maddi, she wouldn’t completely cut off Steve like he sometimes fears. I think this will become very interesting in Civil War plots, comment your predictions or questions! I miss reading those, so please do if you have any!
> 
> Also, I am very excited/happy about hearing Taylor Swift’s new album. The song “closure” fit really well with the beginning of my chapter 22 in my first book of this 2 part story. I put the lyrics there and added it to the instagram for this story at username creation_city_street, so check it out! I reordered my instgram page so it is in the correct order.


	23. Chapter 23

June 25, 2015

“Cap, you see Nat?” Clint spoke to us from the jet as I braced myself onto the moving train. We had found Ultron and fought him to get the regeneration chamber he was using. Our main priority had switched to stopping this train from hurting the nearby civilians.

“If you have the package, get it to Stark! Go!” Steve told him back. 

“Maddi? Do you have eyes on Nat?” Clint replied. She had been with the truck when Ultron left us. The enhanced twins were aiding Steve with the train, so I knew I needed to help Natasha. 

“I’ll find her, Clint, but get that thing as far from Ultron as you can.” I flew high up into the city. “ANA, do a bioscan for Natasha.” The program in my eyewear sent a scan across the city as I turned to get a view of it all. 

_ “I’m sorry, Maddi, she’s no longer within a reachable radius,” _ ANA replied. 

“No, where is she? We can find her, I can fly to her,” I tried to see her on my own, but she was nowhere in sight and neither was Ultron.

_ “I cannot detect her or Ultron, they’ve already left the city.” _

“Steve, I can’t find her, she-she’s not here anymore,” I told him from where I was still flying above the city. “Dammit,” I cursed to myself. I began to fly back to Steve, knowing he might need help. I kept wishing I had flown back sooner, I could have helped Nat. We had to get back to the lab as soon as possible to find her and Ultron. 

“Train is stopped,” I heard Steve’s voice say in my earpiece. I sighed, grateful at least more people weren’t hurt. 

“Stark, come in. Stark,” Steve said as I landed next to him. “Anyone on comms?” 

“Ultron can't tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he gets that?” The Maximoff twin said and I looked at them both confused.

“What’s going on?” I asked them.

“She’s worried what Tony will do with the cradle,” Steve told me. 

“No offense, but why should I be trusting your opinion right now?” I asked her. She was very recently still on Ultron’s side. 

“I saw Ultron’s true intentions. I know we made a mistake, but we want to help fix it now. Ultron is going to destroy everything, and Tony Stark might be the reason for it,” she replied.

“Okay, well let’s not jump to conclusions on Tony just yet. Let’s just work on getting back to the tower and we’ll figure it out there,” Steve told us all. I nodded in agreement. 

It took time for us to find a suitable ride back to New York, but we managed to arrive there around the time we saw Tony and Bruce working on the cradle. It was clear they were working to use it instead of taking it apart.

“I'm gonna say this once,” Steve announced our entry.

“How about none-ce?” Tony shot back.

“Shut it down!” Steve ordered.

“Nope, not gonna happen,” Tony answered.

“Tony come on, I just spent all this time defending you, are you really doing this again?” I asked him in disbelief.

“You don't know what you're doing,” Steve told them.

“And you do?” Bruce asked. “She's not in your head?” he pointed at Wanda behind us.

“I know you're angry,” she tried to reason.

“We're way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.”

“Banner, after everything that's happened,” Steve snapped at him but Tony interrupted.

“It's nothing compared to what's coming!” He warned.

“You don't know what's in there,” Wanda said.

“This isn't a game!” Steve spoke as well.

Soon all of the machines Tony and Bruce had working were shutting down and Pietro was standing with an electrical cord in his hand. “No, no. Go on. You were saying?” 

Before anyone could respond, the glass below him shattered and he went falling to the level below us. The chaos that followed as Tony tried to reroute the upload and Steve threw his shield in his direction to stop him. Tony got one of his metal hands on and shot a blast back at Steve. I tried to power up my own suit, but Tony had blocked my connection. Additionally, my boots hooked and locked into the floor and kept me from being able to move from where I was standing.

“Are you kidding me Tony?” I shouted.

“I have access in case of emergency,” he replied quickly.

“This isn’t one of those times!” 

“I’d beg to differ.” Other parts of his suit flew towards him as he spoke and Steve ran his way close enough to fight him back. As they went flying back, Thor came flying into the room.

“Wait!” Bruce yelled at him but Thor didn’t listen. He sent a flash of lightning into the chamber and maxed out the power to the being inside. Soon a red man so lifelike broke through the chamber and hurled himself into the next room and by the window overlooking the city. Everyone else quickly made their way into the other room to see him.

I struggled to move and get to the other room with the others but I was still locked in place. “Tony!” I yelled in anger to him. “Unhook me and give me back control of my suit!” 

“Sorry!” he yelled back as my boots unhooked from the floor and the power went back into my enhanced glasses to give me full control.

“I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at its center is that,” Thor spoke as I walked in to join them. The red man was now wearing his own made suit with a cape off his shoulders.

“What? The gem?” Bruce asked.

“It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones. The greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities,” he told us.

“Then why would you bring-” Steve started but was cut off.

“Because Stark is right,” Thor said.

We began to discuss and interrogate this Vision of Thor’s. He was reconfigured from JARVIS’s matrix, sounding exactly like the beloved computer program. Ultron was setting out to destroy all life and he wanted us to be there to witness it all. Our ability to defeat him was slim without the Vision and the Mind Stone in his head. Ultron was waiting for us in Sokovia, and Clint was able to find out Nat was there too. 

“Maybe I am a monster,” Vision continued to tell us. “I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are, and not what you intended. So, there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.” We all stared at him in shock because he had lifted Thor’s hammer and held it out to him.

“Right,” Thor said after he took the hammer, very satisfied with the Vision and his ability to wield the hammer himself. “Well done,” he told Tony.

“Three minutes. Get what you need,” Steve told us to get ready. I went into Tony’s lab.

“Is this the most upgraded of your suits, or did you make something new in the last 5 minutes?” I asked him while referring to my own suit I was wearing. 

“Sadly, that is the newest model. But I do have some additives I can put into your program with this chip, and also attack into the compartments of your gloves and boots.” It only took him a second to get the upgrades fit onto my suit. 

“That protocol you activated when you took over my controls, yeah that’s never happening again. Got it?” I told him sternly, still annoyed that he did that.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry. I couldn’t have you fighting for Steve on that one.”

“I don’t fight for Steve, I had my own opinions on you doing this all over again. You’re lucky it turned out fine, but I still feel like I gave you undeserved trust after Ultron now.”

He looked down, and I knew he felt guilty about what happened. I hoped it would bring him to not do something like it again. “I’ll make this right,” he told me with conviction in his voice.

“You don’t need to make it right, just don’t hide things from us anymore. We can get through this together.” He nodded and I pulled him into a hug. I wish I could have taken more time in that moment, but we needed to finish getting ready and leave for the next fight. There was always a next fight. I often wondered how I got myself wrapped up so much in them.

Tony spoke with Steve and Bruce while I went to find the others and get us all on the ship. I found Clint finishing up with gathering his equipment. 

“I really tried to find her,” I said. “Ultron was already gone.” He looked over to me after I spoke.

“Don’t beat yourself up, we found her now, and now we found Ultron too.” I nodded silently, still feeling guilty that I didn’t get to Natasha in time. “She knows you care about her now, it’s obvious you're well past the hate you used to hold.” He gave me a teasing smirk and I shook my head with a smile.

“I thought her and Nick would try to ruin my life six years ago, I had many reasons to distrust her, but she’s given me a million more reasons to trust her now.” I was glad to everyone on this team as my friend. I never thought I could put my trust in this many people again, but I was glad I could. “Let’s go, Steve’ll probably get on us for going beyond his three minute time to get ready.”

* * *

  
  
  


June 26, 2015

As we flew in the jet and approached Sokovia, the sun rose and Steve spoke to us all on what to expect. “Ultron knows we're coming. Odds are we'll be riding into heavy fire, and that's what we signed up for. But the people of Sokovia, they didn't. So our priority is getting them out. All they want is to live their lives in peace, and that's not going to happen today. But we can do our best to protect them. And we can get the job done, and find out what Ultron's been building. We find Romanoff, and we clear the field. Keep the fight between us. Ultron thinks we're monsters and we're what's wrong with the world. This isn't just about beating him. It's about whether he's right.” I put my hand on his arm and gave it a quick squeeze. We were all worried about how this day would go, and we had to make sure we put the innocent people before our own needs and fears. He put his hand on top of mine and squeezed back. He knew this was particularly hard for me. Everyone knew I was walking away from this fight, my biggest fear was walking away alone. 

Our current mission was getting people out of the city as we had no idea what Ultron’s plans were. Soon a flood of Ultron’s army robots began to rise from the ground and cause harm to the citizens. 

“This way, this way!” I shouted at a nearby family away from the approaching bot. I blasted it back when it was isolated. Tony had upgraded my suit again, and I had more firepower as well as flight speed. The strength behind the suit was also clearly increased, as a large side of a nearby building broke from a blask and pieces fell towards me. I was able to catch one just above me and throw it to the side. Then before I could focus on more of the robots to fight, the ground started to shake and there was a split in the road forming just thirty feet in front of me. I looked around in shock to see the split extend and soon the ground on the other side began to rise into the sky. The higher it rose, the more of the edge that was falling apart. A nearby person on the rising piece of land fell as the ground beneath her fell with it. I quickly flew towards her and caught her before she could fall very far. I set her down on the ground below that wasn’t currently suspended in air. 

Ultron’s voice spoke through all the robots, allowing it to project throughout the entire city. “Do you see? The beauty of it, the inevitability. You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor, my swift and terrible sword and the earth will crack with the weight of your failure. Purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me. It means nothing. When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world will be metal.”

“Cap, you got incoming,” Tony said in our communication line. 

“Incoming already came in. Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job: tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed, walk it off,” he told us all.

“Tony, do you need my help?” I flew back up towards the city and I saw him flying beside it. 

“For now, no. Right now just stick to protecting those on the rock.”

“ANA, I’m gonna circle the outer edge buildings first, scan them to find any people that need help getting down.” I figured that was the best place to start because those buildings were vulnerable to falling and taking the people inside with them. 

_ “Of course, Maddi,”  _ she replied and then proceeded to tell me which floors in which nearby buildings had people in them. I fought off the robots as I also brought people down one by one. I didn’t have time to get them all the way to the ground that wasn’t floating in the air, but I could get them to a safer spot that wasn’t in a collapsing building. 

“Alright, we're all clear here,” Clint said from his location as I was finishing up scanning the last vulnerable building. I had ANA do a sweep of the interior buildings as well, they all seemed to be empty. Everyone was on the ground, and my job shifted to simply destroying as much of the Ultron bots as possible. 

“We are not clear! We are very not clear!” Steve responded.

“I’m heading your way,” I told him as I flew towards the edge of the city where most of the bots were attacking. With the rest of us fighting all in one area, we were able to clear the place of the remaining bots. However, we knew there were more down below that Ultron could send.

“The next wave's gonna hit any minute. What have you got, Stark?” Steve asked as we led people through and out of the smoke covered area.

“Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear,” he said.

“I asked for a solution, not an escape plan,” Steve replied.

“Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're going to have to make a choice,” Tony told us and I swallowed hard at his words.

“Cap, these people are going nowhere. If Stark finds a way to blow this rock,” Nat said as she walked up next to me. We were all heading towards the edge.

“Not 'til everyone's safe,” Steve told her.

“Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there”

“I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it.”

“I didn't say we should leave.” I looked at her in worry. 

“No, I told her. No you guys should get off and I can start flying the people down. I know my suit can lift the weight of a car, that’ll get more at a time. I can survive whatever happens up here-” I tried to explain because I couldn’t stand the idea of being the only survivor on this rock.

“Maddi, you can’t survive this,” Tony’s voice said into our ears. “There’s a lot your body can heal from, but you won’t have any body left to heal.” 

“Hey,” Natasha got my attention as I exhaled from Tony’s words. “There's worse ways to go. Where else are we gonna get a view like this?” we looked out towards the clouds that were below us. 

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better,” We heard Nick Fury’s voice through our radio frequency as a helicarrier rose in front of us. “Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do.”

“Fury, you son of a bitch,” Steve said.

“Oooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Fury joked. I laughed as I was seeing the hope come back to us. We had a way of getting people out now, and the idea of actually beating this was achievable again. Smaller carriers were brought towards the edge of the city to get the civilians on.

“This is SHIELD?” Pietro asked.

"This is what SHIELD's supposed to be,” Steve told him.

“It’s what I used to dream SHIELD could be when I helped form it,” I said with a smile. 

“This is not so bad,” he said.

“Let's load 'em up,” Steve ordered and we got to work gathering people and putting them on the lifeboats.

“Yes! Now this is gonna be a good story,” I heard Rhodey’s voice in our ear comm. 

“Rhodey!” I exclaimed, I looked up and saw him flying his own suit. I was glad to see him. We had people hiding in the lower levels of the nearby buildings, so we led them out of there to get them to safety as quickly as we could before more bots could arrive.

“Thor, I got a plan!” Tony said from their air.

“We're out of time. They're coming for the core,” Thor replied.

“Rhodey, get the rest of the people on board that carrier. Avengers, time to work for a living,” he told us. I flew my way to the core and soon the entire team was there

“This is the drill,” Tony pointed behind him to the metal core keeping the ground together and in the air. “If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose.” Ultron appeared in front of us.

“Is that the best you can do?” Thor mocked. Soon Ultron summoned his entire army towards us.

“You had to ask,” Steve said with a sigh.

“This is the best I can do. This is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. How could you possibly hope to stop me?” Ultron replied.

“Well, like the old man said. Together.” I smiled at his words but quickly went straight into fighting the robots around me. We worked swiftly as a team and were successful in keeping them away from the core as they came at us from all sides.

Soon the robots began to retreat after Hulk got rid of Ultron for the moment. “They'll try to leave the city,” Thor warned.

“We can't let 'em, not even one. Rhodey!” Tony said.

I flew after them and helped destroy them at the edge to make sure none escaped. 

“Tony, you’re going to need my help with that core, your power levels aren’t high enough to do it on your own,” I told him. He was flying under the rock.

“No, I’m rerouting the suit’s power, you’re getting off this thing,” he argued. “Thor, I'm gonna need you back in the church.”

“Is this the last of them?” Thor asked as I landed next to him and Steve.

“Yeah. Everyone else is on the carrier,” Steve replied.

“You know, if this works, we maybe don't walk away,” Tony said to us.

“Maybe not,” Thor agreed.

“Tony,” I warned. “Let me do this.”

“No, I started this mess. It’s gotta be me.” I sighed and prayed in my head that he would be okay. 

If something goes south, I’m flying back to you. You can’t stop me, so don’t even try to argue,” I told him. Soon gunfire from above wiped the nearby area. It was Ultron in a quinjet. We ducked for cover and after the shots stopped, Steve and I made our way over as Thor headed to the church. Pietro was shot down on the ground with Clint next to him. I felt pain in my chest seeing that our new teammate had died. I didn’t know him well at all, but the loss of one of us was still heartbreaking. There was still a little boy there and Clint lifted him as Steve lifted Pietro’s body to take to the ship. After placing him down, Steve walked back out to me and we looked around to make sure everyone truly was off. 

“You fly to the carrier, I’ll take the boat,” Steve told me and I nodded. I was about to ask Tony again if he needed my help, but without any warning, the ground beneath us plummeted out of the sky. Steve jumped towards the lifeboat, but missed it and began to fall as well. I was quick enough to catch him with my own body and the power from the blasters in my boots kept us both floating. 

“I’ve got you,” I told him as he had his arms wrapped around my own body. He smiled and sighed. I flew us up to the lifeboat and dropped him off as quickly as possible and then flew down towards the falling rock. It was still in its complete form and I knew I needed to help Tony and Thor with their task. Time was running out as it approached the earth. Before I got close enough, the entire structure exploded from Thor’s direct lightning hit. I paused and flew up to avoid the blow. The pieces then fell into the nearby water, and the possibility of it destroying the world was finally gone. “Tony, are you there?” I asked, worried he didn’t make it.

After a few moments I heard his voice. “Yeah, I’m coming up to you.” I smiled in relief as I flew back up to the helicarrier as well. When I arrived, I found Steve and smiled. He had a grin on his face that warmed my heart. 

I made my way to him and he pulled me into a hug. My head rested on his shoulder as he ran his hand from my head and down my pulled back hair and around my waist. We shared our mutual feeling of relief that it didn’t end worse than it could have, but we also felt pain at the destruction that we couldn’t avoid. So many people lost their lives in this fight, and there was nothing we could do to change that. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this, these fights,” I whispered as I kept my face near Steve’s neck. He squeezed tighter at my words.

“I know,” he said. I could tell he wished he could promise me that I would never have to again. I wish I could promise myself that was the last fight. “I know,” he repeated and I sighed. Not knowing what our future held meant that just having each other there during and after the fights would have to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was really hard for me to write. I hate writing fight scenes, I’m not good at it and I often feel like I can’t add any real original work to it and I’m just copying the scenes from the movies. Anyway, I have super exciting plans for this story in the upcoming chapters. Please let me know your thoughts/predictions, reading your comments really helps me with writer's block, and I’ve been having it bad lately or else I would have been updating more frequently because it is my winter break. I’ve gotten lots of cool ideas and insights from readers, and I would love to get some more from those still reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> notes at the end

July 19, 2015

I stood in one of the few rooms that were complete in the new facility Tony was building for the Avengers. It was in Upstate New York, and it was still in the process of being completed. However, Natasha wanted me to meet her in this particular room that she had forced Tony to speed up in finishing. “What are we doing here, Nat?” I asked her as I noticed it was similar to a gym.

“I brought you here because those gloves and glasses aren’t always going to be around to protect you. You need to learn how to actually fight without any of Tony’s gadgets.” I nodded at her words, understanding and agreeing with what she said.

“You’re right,” I said. “In all my time forming SHIELD, being on my own, or coming back as an Avengers, I never did learn how to fight before and look where it landed me, as a damsel in distress being captured by Strucker because I couldn’t manage simple self defense skills.”

“Exactly, and I like you too much now to let you go through that again when I could help you be more prepared.”

“Only now? You didn’t like me enough before?” I joked and she smirked.

“Don’t act like that was one sided,” she reminded me.

“Yes of course, my bad.”

“I brought you some clothes, change and we’ll get started,” she tossed me a bag and I went into the changing room nearby that was still mostly under construction. This area of the building was empty from any workers, so we had enough privacy to spend time practicing. Tony had the building’s construction on top speed, trying to get it all organized and ready for use. It was his current mission of giving us a space to train and innovate and bring on more people to help. 

Natasha took some time to cover basic techniques and had me try them before she did any moves that forced me into an active defense. Eventually she asked me if I felt ready to speed things up and I told her I could probably handle trying a few moves. She nodded and then before I knew it, I was knocked to the ground and my shoulder was in pain.

“What the hell?!” I yelled as I rubbed my arm and looked up at her in shock. 

“The bad guys won’t go easy on you, and neither will I,” she shrugged.

“Okay, well let’s bring it down a little right now please? I don’t think I’m at the level of fighting off someone as trained as you just yet.” I stood back up slowly and cautiously, worried she would ignore my request and send me back down again.

“Alright fine, but we’re gonna work right now on you blocking how I just took you down. It shouldn’t have been that easy for me even with your inexperience.” I rolled my eyes and gave her a glare. She just returned my look with a smile instead and I shook my head trying not to give her the satisfaction of smiling back. She laughed and then proceeded to teach me what I did wrong. We spent the next few hours continuing to go over and over the steps and the things I was missing. I was improving slowly, but most of the tricky moves Nat had just weren’t anywhere near as easy as she made them look. 

“Wow I suck at this,” I finally conceded as I sat down on the bench and took a drink of water. 

“We’ll keep working on it, you’ll get better eventually. You and Steve are moving in here when it’s ready, right? You’ll have more time to practice then without having to drive back to the city.”

I nodded at her question as I swallowed water I had in my mouth. “We’ve been talking about it and think it’ll be good to move out here. Tony has promised as soon as this building is done, we will make another that contains more private living areas for us, you and anyone else who is part of the core Avengers group,” I laughed at the thought of it. That’s how he described us. Everyone else would just be working at the building, only the people in the ‘core group’ could live there. 

Nat laughed with me and said “yes he told me that too.”

“I’m all for Steve continuing to do missions with you, Sam, and anyone else who will be working, but I think I’m gonna need a break myself. I’ll go around the facility and find something that interests me to keep myself busy, but I just can’t keep fighting with y’all. It’s hard enough worrying about Steve, and I know I could maybe help keep him safe, but I just need time right now to recover mentally from last month.” I let out some of my feelings to her, feeling more comfortable around the woman I considered a good friend.

“Have you talked to him about what Wanda made you see?” she asked me.

I shook my head “No, and I don’t know if I really need to anymore. A lot of different things keep me up at night, and I know Steve is kept up by his own fears too. I don’t want to add mine to his worries.”

“But wouldn’t you want him to tell you his fears, you know, carry the burden together?” 

“I know what you mean, but it’s okay. I have other ways of processing.” We spoke some more about our last month since Ultron and Sokovia. Nobody knew where Bruce was, and I could tell Natasha was pretending that it didn’t hurt her as much as it did. We all still hid our darkest parts from each other in this group, even after everything we’ve all been through together.

  
  
  
  


July 20, 2015

“How was your training with Nat yesterday?” Steve asked as we ate breakfast together in the Avengers Tower. I had gotten back home late and we hadn’t talked about our day. 

“Well it’s clear that hand to hand combat will never be my thing. Let’s just hope I’ll always have access to the suits Tony makes me, and the minimal defense tricks I learned from Nat will be enough in case of emergencies.”

“That bad?” he cringed and tried to give me a smile of encouragement.

“I don’t know, she says I just need practice. It’d be nice if I could go back to the times when I didn’t need to know how to use Tony’s new suits or fancy fighting skills.” I reminisced in my mind about the days before I was fighting alien or robot armies or getting kidnapped by Hydra. 

“She’s right, you’ll get better. But I wish you didn’t need to learn it all either,” he sighed. “I should have been there when Strucker took you, but I feel better knowing you won’t need me there if you ever get in that situation again.”

“You need to stop worrying about that, seriously. It’s in the past, and there was no way either of us could have known I would be kidnapped that night.” I spoke as I stood up and took my plate to the sink. I stopped by his chair on the way back and pulled his head to my chest. I gave him a kiss on the top of his head as I played with his hair a bit. He nodded at my reassurance.

“Did you get a chance to look at the wing that Tony excitedly has planned for our living space?” He asked me in reference to the new Avengers Headquarters under construction.

“No, right now that whole area is still blocked off,” I told him. “But he told me on the phone that it will come together quicker than we think. He’s planning for move in to be ready by the end of next month.

“Really?” Steve asked, shocked.

“Yup, I think we should start packing our boxes now to get ready for that. The team gets to move in first and then he’s letting all the people who will just be working there move their own equipment into the nonliving areas of the compound. Obviously people who don’t live there won’t have access to our wing either.”

Okay yeah, we still have our boxes from when we moved here from DC?” he asked.

“Yeah, they’re folded in the closet behind our winter coats.”

* * *

  
  


September 13, 2015

“You’re both here?!” I exclaimed as I saw both Thor and Tony in the skyroom of the new Avengers Facility with Steve. I ran up and gave them both a hug. “Why didn’t you call ahead? How long are you staying?” Steve and I had been living there for almost two weeks, it was currently in chaos with the move-in of all the scientists and agents that were hired by Tony to continue their work under the Avengers name. 

“Not long,” Tony replied. “I just came to see how everything is going before I head out west tonight with Pepper.” My face fell at his words. 

“Booo! Stay a bit longer,” I pleaded. “Thor, please tell me you’re at least planning to stay.”

“No, no, I was just here to discuss the stone and the Vision’s involvement. I’m leaving soon.”

“I hate you both,” I shook my head in disbelief. Steve let out a chuckle. 

“You’ll be forgetting all about me once you start working on Selvig’s team.” Tony had previously given me a long speech about how he thought I should give working with Dr. Selvig a try. It had been a long time since I did any real work in the physics field, but I did find Selvig’s work very interesting. I told him would only start with light hours while I continued my job with Stark Industries. 

“Impossible, I’ll be missing you everyday. You and Pepper better visit constantly,” I replied. “And before either of you even think about leaving, you’re having lunch with us.” I didn’t let them argue, and we ended up having a very nice lunch in the private Avengers wing. Natasha joined us as well. It was sad not having Clint and Bruce there. Clint was home with his newly born son, and Bruce was still missing. I knew it was even sadder for Nat, but we still all managed to have a good time. I promised Selvig I would help with some of his setup that afternoon, so I had to say goodbye to the departing Avengers a bit earlier than I wanted to.

“Call me when you get to LA,” I told Tony as I hugged him goodbye. 

I spent a few hours with Selvig, he had given me some astrophysics literature he felt was useful for me to brush up on. It had the most recent necessary content for his current project. I thanked him, and made my way to the hanger of the compound. Steve had changed out of his normal clothes he was wearing earlier in the day and was in his Captain America suit. Him and Natasha were working on training the newest Avengers members. Sam, Wanda, Vision, and Rhodey were officially part of the team now. They were working on making them into a real cohesive team, hopefully better than we were when we originally became a team years before. All being able to live, train, work in the same land that Tony fixed up was very convenient. Steve was by himself watching the others go through some fighting techniques with Nat, so I walked over to him.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned. 

“I wasn’t needed in the lab anymore and I thought I’d check out the team. When will you guys be done?” I asked him.

“Oh we still have some more hours of working them today.”

I gave him a pout. “Aww, I was hoping you’d come back to our room with me soon.” I inched closer to him and put my hand on his arm. “You know, seeing you in your uniform right now, have I ever told you how sexy you look in it?” I gave him a smirk as he shifted at my words.

He glanced at me and gave a rushed sigh. “Maddi…” he trailed off. My smirk grew.

I rubbed his arm a bit and set my body against his. “Maybe you can sneak away a bit, you don’t even need to take the suit off,” I whispered near his ear and he shut his eyes. I felt his muscles tense.

“Mads,” he breathed out. 

“Hey!” Nat shouted over to us and Steve’s eyes flew open. He tried to compose himself, and I let out a small laugh at how quickly I was able to make him feel flustered. “Lovebirds! We’re in the middle of a training session. So either grab your own suit to join us or stop using my training time to flirt.” she gave a fake smile in our direction and laughed louder at being slightly caught by our friend. 

“Okay, I’m leaving! I’m leaving, have fun finishing up here,” I stepped back from Steve and conceded to Nat. I began to walk away but then turned to Steve one more time and made eye contact as I said “I’ll see you later.” I gave a wink before turning back around before getting to see anymore reactions from him. Nat hit me on my upper arm as I walked past her. “Ow, what the hell?” I exclaimed.

“Don’t come back here unless you plan to go on missions with us!” she instructed. I gave her face to mock her demand, and then suppressed a smile. “Just get out of here,” she added. I flashed her one final smile and then actually left the room. 

* * *

  
  


**A/N: I wanted to make this chapter go longer with maybe one more date entry, but I wanted to get it out to you tonight more, and I don’t think I would have finished this evening if I had written a whole new day out. I officially finished Age of Ultron plot! I hope you like it, had a bit of fun/light teasing at the end there! Let me know your thoughts/predictions/ideas/etc!! Thank you for still reading!**

**I also made a Spotify playlist of the Taylor Swift songs I’ve listed here so far. I’ll keep adding to it as I use more songs.[The link can be found here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0kS84Ee6Dy1wmEaZPxJ0Vu?si=0HJsArX-SkaS8kDYjWCDRg) or on my [tumblr](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/) under my masterlist link in that bio.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to get the next chapter out a little sooner this time! Any reviews will certainly speed up that process because I live on feedback. Thanks for reading!!

September 29, 2015

“Dr. Rogers, it’s so nice to meet you, I’ve read your work on your work on nano-physical collisions published in the 50s. While some of it is a little dated, I found it very fascinating when I was finishing up my doctorate.” The man in front of me shook my hand quickly as I entered the lab in the morning. I decided to designate Tuesdays and Friday afternoons within Selvig’s lab. I was able to rearrange my current working from home schedule to fit the added hours in the lab, and this was my first day. The man who greeted me appeared to be in his mid thirties, was tall, had dark brown hair and light brown eyes, and a very firm grip on my own hand.

“Wow, I didn’t think anyone read that anymore. It’s nice to meet you too,” I replied with a smile. “What’s your name?” 

“I’m Dr. Andrew Terrelo, but please just call me Andrew. Dr. Selvig isn’t here right now and he asked me to get you acquainted with the team and with what he wants you to be doing.” I nodded at his words as he proceeded to introduce me to the 8 others that were working. After he showed me where I would be working, he gave one final remark. “We’ll actually get to work the two of us together mostly. Selvig wanted you to work on organizing the data from the ongoing space-comm we have on the roof. That space-comm is my area of expertise, and I’ll help you filter out the noise until you get the hang of it. Then you’ll be transferring the data directly to me.”

He spoke with lots of confidence and knowledge of the system as he taught me. He was friendly and I was glad to have someone being kind in showing me around and making me feel comfortable. After working through the morning, I told him that I was planning to eat my lunch in the break room.

“I’ll join you,” he told me quickly. I smiled in return.

“Since we’ll be working together, I’d like to get to know you a bit more,” I told Andrew as we began to eat our lunch. 

“Well I grew up in San Diego, moved around California a bit for school and my postdoc, and then I moved all the way out here last month for this job. I didn’t really have anything tying me down recently so I thought it would be a good change of pace.”

“Wow, I’ll have to look for your publications and give them a read.” He continued to tell me a bit about his family and hobbies. Eventually the conversation shifted towards me. “I’m not sure how much you actually know about me already, I mean you read my thesis.”

He looked down at his food and had a half smile on his face. “I’m going to be completely honest with you right now, I actually am a huge fan of not just your academic work but also your work as Avenger. Miss Americana has probably always been my favorite.”

“Oh please don’t ever refer to that godawful name again,” I said with a laugh. “Okay well I guess you know a lot about that whole thing already then.”

“Well I would love to get to know you better and not just what people say about you online,” he informed quickly. I nodded and gave him a little bit of info on myself, but I wasn’t one to give lots of personal details away to someone I just met. I could tell he wanted more out of me but I thought it was for the best to steer our conversation back to our work after a while. Soon we finished lunch and spent the rest of the day in the lab. Selvig was back and was a joy to also get acquainted with. I didn’t know him very well, but it was clear that he was a very intelligent man. Andrew was also very smart, but he was also a bit more arrogant about it. However, I was an expert at dealing with and shooting down excessively arrogant attitudes with my years of experience doing it with Tony. I had decided that I really enjoyed my first day working with Selvig’s team as a whole, and I was glad Tony talked me into it.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


October 13, 2015

“What is it like knowing Tony Stark?” Andrew asked me one day in the lab. I let out a laugh at his question.

“Probably nothing like you expect or really want to hear about,” I told him.

“No, I do wanna hear about it. I’ve always admired him, the guy is insane smart.”

I nodded and said “Yeah he’s a genius. But again, I know Tony differently than literally anyone else does. I helped raise him, he’s my godson. I don’t see him as the hero billionaire that everyone else sees, I just see the little boy I used to take care of when his parents were away.”

“What’s that like?” he asked. “Seeing him grow up and you’ve been the same age this whole time.”

“Strange and a little scary. It’s better now that I’m aging again. Thanks to him and Bruce Banner, they were able to put together how to fix the fact that I didn’t age anymore.”

“Did that affect any of your other powers? The fact that you can’t get hurt when you fight?” 

“I can get hurt, I just heal super super fast. And no, they were able to fix it without taking everything away.” He seemed interested and impressed by what I was saying. “But anyway, Tony is someone I care a lot about. I don’t have any of my own kids, so he’s like my kid. He’s just all grown up now, so I’ve learned to let him have his own life. He’s a good person, and obviously very smart. I wouldn’t rely on really anything the media says about him because he’s a completely different person when in public.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


October 23, 2015

I woke up that morning and went on a walk along the river. It was something I enjoyed doing from time to time when I wanted to clear my head. Steve was gone on another mission, and my mind was always clouded with worry for him on days he was gone. Towards the end of my walk I began to feel like my throat was dry, and it caused me to cough a bit. I didn’t drink enough water before heading out, and I didn’t bring any with me either, so the dryness of my throat was irritating. 

As soon as I made it back inside, I drank some water and got ready for my morning in the lab. I greeted everyone with a smile as I walked in and started working on computing the radiation signals we received from one of our probes in space. After a few hours of working, Andrew asked if I wanted to go on the roof with him to work on the telescope set up. I had pretty much all the work I was planning on doing that day finished already, so I decided to go with.

As we stood on the roof fixing the telescope, my throat felt a bit scratchy again, so I coughed to clear it. 

“Oh do you have a cold?” Andrew asked as I coughed some more. I shook my head.

“No,” I stated after a final cough. “I can’t get colds. I think the air is just really dry, you know the fall to winter months, it’s also getting cold and that can cause a cough.” 

“You can’t get colds?” he asked, surprised. 

“Yeah, it’s part of my powers. My injuries heal super fast, and I can’t get sick at all.” 

“Wow, that’s interesting, but also pretty nice.” 

“Haha, yeah, I haven’t had a cold since the 1940s.” We finished setting things up and I was grateful to get back inside. It was already starting to feel pretty cold in the late October mornings. 

“Well, Selvig will want some readings this weekend on the scope, do you have anything planned? Maybe we can have a fun night of physics on the roof?” he said as I packed up my lab work for the day. 

“I don’t know, I could barely handle the cold air for the short time we were just now up there.”

“I’ll bring extra blankets,” he offered.

“Alright, alright, sure. Steve’s on a mission right now anyway, I think tomorrow night could work out,” I agreed. “But you better also bring some hot chocolate or something.”

“Will do,” he promised as he let out a laugh.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


October 24, 2015

“Why did I agree to do this?” I questioned as I tried to warm up under two blankets, my coat, gloves and a hat. My nose was a bit runny as the cold wind hit my face from time to time. It was significantly colder once the sun had gone down.

“I didn’t realize you were this affected by cold weather,” Andrew laughed as he looked over at me. “Shouldn’t your powers help you stay warm or something?”

“That’s not at all how my powers work,” I rolled my eyes with a small smile “How long do we have to be up here? Does Selvig really need us for this, can’t we automate the telescope or something?” I asked.

“No, we need to recalibrate it after every longview shot of the cosmic shadow’s shift tonight. And it won’t take all night, you’ll be in your warm bed within a few hours.”

“Good,” I replied. 

He sat down in the chair he brought up for himself next to mine after he finished setting up the first shot. Each recalibration would have to be done about every 30 minutes, and we decided to take turns. He handed me a cup of hot chocolate that he poured from a thermos he brought up.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I stated as I felt the cup warm my hands through my gloves. “You know, this is the only reason I’m here right now helping you. Well this and the fact that most of my friends aren’t home tonight and I didn’t feel like spending an entire night of watching TV again.” 

“Do they leave on missions often?” he asked me.

“I don’t think it’s that often, and it varies in length. It’s not always multiple days in a row.”

“How come you don’t go with them? I mean, you are a superhero too. I’d be all over that kind of stuff if I had powers.”

I laughed before responding “The whole fighting and using my powers isn’t really my thing. I always enjoyed working behind the scenes, in a lab like ours. If I have to fight, I will, but it’s not something I’m going to volunteer doing as often as they do.”

“Isn’t it kinda lonely then? While they’re off doing whatever they do and you’re here.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t really get lonely from it, a few days by myself once in a while isn’t that big of a deal. It gets me more anxious than anything else. I hate not knowing if they’re okay or not, especially Steve. They could get hurt or worse and I wouldn’t know until after it happened.”

“Does he know? Steve, does he know that you feel this way?”

“Yeah, we’ve definitely had some conversations and even fights about it. But this is his job, this is his life. He loves what he does, and I’m not gonna make him stop doing it.”

He thought about what I said for a bit. “Well I don’t think that’s very fair of him then, making you feel worried all the time. You don’t deserve that.” 

I let out a small laugh and said “thanks, but it’s alright. I love him, and I’m okay with putting up with the hard parts sometimes.”

* * *

  
  
  


**A/N: I hope you liked that chapter! I’m sorry it took a while, I had a hard time figuring out how I wanted to write the next few months in Maddi’s story. Let me know your thoughts and predictions, and I promise there will be more Steve in the next chapter.**

**If any of you are curious, I made some[mood boards](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/post/640814707596525568/maddi-bennett-and-steve-rogers-oc-fic-book-1) for His Southern Belle, they are on my tumblr under the masterlist link in my bio, and my username is [creationcitystreet-em](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/). Check them out, I made 4 in total! I also took little personality tests from what I think would be Maddi’s perspective. Her personality type is “Protagonist, ENFJ-T” and her top love language is physical touch, followed by quality time and words of affirmation. More on that can be found on the same [masterlist link](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/post/640446269091889152/steve-rogers-x-maddi-bennett-oc-masterlist) on my tumblr bio.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took a week off from writing/creating/updating anything because I was feeling a little discouraged. I got a rude PM recently, and I wasn’t receiving much positive feedback in a while. In this time I actually did have some kind interactions with some readers who commented or messaged me on tumblr, so I am very appreciative of those. I’m coming back to this story feeling a little more motivated to do right by the readers who have been kind enough to review, follow, and share my work with others. 
> 
> I want to update more regularly than I have in the past, so I will be setting myself a strict schedule of posting once a week, probably on Fridays. I can’t promise they will all be long chapters, but even if I’ve only written 500-1000 words that week, I don’t want to keep you all waiting and waiting until I write more. So that’s how I will be updating for a while going forward from here!

November 17, 2015

It was almost time for me to take my lunch break, when there was a knock on the glass of the window from the lab and into the hallway. I looked over to see Steve standing outside waving at me. I smiled widely at him and made my way out to greet him.

“You’re back!” I said before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Yeah, we just landed about 30 minutes ago. I thought I could maybe take you out for lunch today.”

“Yes, that would be wonderful, let me just go get my things and we can head out!” I went to our break room and got my coat as well as my bag. Andrew came into the room as I was getting my stuff. “Steve’s taking me out to lunch, so I’ll be back in about an hour,” I told him.

“He’s back,” was all he responded with.

“Yeah I didn’t expect him to be back this early actually,” I smiled back with a bit of excitement. 

“You were just saying this morning that you were particularly worried about this trip,” he had a frown on his face as he spoke.

“I did,” I agreed with him. “But that’s why I’m so happy to see him.”

He hesitated for a moment and I was about to say goodbye but he spoke up one more time. “Maddi, I don’t like the way he treats you like this.” I frowned at his words and felt my eyebrows furrow.

“What are you talking about?”

“He just gets to come and go whenever he wants, he doesn’t seem to care how it affects you. Then you just let him think everything is fine when he’s here and he gets to take you out and be the hero husband. Look, I don’t know him, but I always felt his All American Good Guy persona was so exaggerated and fake, and it feels like he takes advantage of you a lot.”

His statement made my heart beat a bit harder out of growing anger. “You’re right, you don’t know him,” I snapped. “You don’t know us, you only know what you’ve heard on TV or what I’ve told you. You don’t get to make a judgement like that when you have no idea what you’re talking about.” I turned to leave but he spoke up once more.

“I know what I see when you talk to me, and you’re so blinded by your image of him that you don’t see how much he hurts you.”

I almost ignored him. I almost walked out the door without saying anything else, but I couldn’t stop myself. I swiftly turned back around and gave him a hard look. “You really think you can understand an entire relationship from the few times I’ve spoken about it in front of you? Look I like working with you, I even thought you were becoming somewhat of a friend, but you are speaking way out of line here. Don’t do that again or I’m certain you won’t be working here anymore.” 

I left him alone in the breakroom and met Steve again outside. I was in shock that Andrew would act like that. We had gotten along well throughout my time working there, and it frustrated me that he would say those things. Steve leaving for missions frequently was of course hard on me sometimes, I worried about him a lot, but he wasn’t taking advantage of me. It sounded so ridiculous. Steve and I were strong together, we leaned on each other and loved each other. We had issues sometimes, but we’ve always worked through them. 

I was a bit quieter during our lunch than usual, and Steve noticed about halfway through. “Are you alright?” he asked me. 

“Yeah, it’s just that guy I work with, Andrew. He was being kind of a jerk before I left.”

“What did he say?” Steve asked with a serious look on his face. 

“Nothing bad about me, it was about you actually.”

“Me?” he questioned, confused.

“Yeah, he said that you take advantage of me by going on your missions and expect me to be okay with it. It was stupid, I told him like once or twice that I get worried for you when you go on missions, and he thought that was enough for him to infer that your a terrible husband.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at my explanation before responding “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you so worried all the time.”

“Please don’t apologize,” I told him. “This isn’t your fault at all, I’m mad that he thought it was his business to tell me his opinion on our relationship when he hasn’t ever even met you.”

“Do you want me to say something to him? Or get him transferred, I’m sure between the two of us, we can easily make sure that he’s gone and not bothering you anymore.”

I shook my head and said “No, I’m just gonna ignore him for now, continue our work but interact at a bare minimum. If he does it again, then we can report him.” Steve didn’t seem to like my plan but he agreed to it, knowing that what I wanted for the situation was the best option for me. I appreciated his support. The rest of the day, I spoke with our other team members more and Andrew much less. I was sure he got the hint that our growing friendship was gone. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


November 20, 2015

On that Friday, I had spent my morning in the lab much like my afternoon on Tuesday. I ignored Andrew the entire time unless it was absolutely necessary to discuss our work. I could tell he was annoyed when he tried to make conversation with me but I didn’t engage. As soon as my time there was up, I made my way to leave and go back to my living space. As I turned the corner of the hall leading away from the lab, Andrew was there waiting for me. He had gone out the lab doors and waited there while I was gathering my things from the breakroom. 

“Maddi, you can’t keep ignoring me, you gotta talk to me,” he said as he blocked me from passing him. I looked at him in anger.

“Actually, I don’t have to talk to you. Now move so I can leave or I’ll move you myself.” I wasn’t entirely confident in my ability to do that, but I didn’t let that show in my body language.

“Maddi, he doesn’t deserve you. Your kindness, your intelligence, it is way past his level and you should be with someone who can have a real conversation with you that probably isn’t about whatever bad guy he just shot up over the weekend.”

I scoffed in disbelief, not only was he back at the one thing I told him not to say to me, but he also was further showing how he clearly didn’t have a single clue what my life with Steve was like. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Maddi, just leave him, and we can be together,” he said as he grabbed onto one of my wrists. It wasn’t a tight grip, so I ripped it back from him.

“What?” I questioned, not thinking I heard him correctly.

“I can be there for you better than he can, we have a great time laughing and talking together, I know I can make you happier because I know he doesn’t make you happy. So leave him, and we can be together.”

“Are you insane? What about any of our interactions this week could possibly make you think I would want that?” I asked him.

“Before this week, we were building a connection that’s special. I feel more deeply for you than he possibly could.”

“Andrew, you are talking about my husband. I’ve known you for 2 months. He loves me with every fiber of his being. He has loved me for 80 years.”

“Would he give up being Captain America for you?” he asked smugly. 

“He would do anything for me,” I snapped at him. “He is ten times the man you are. You can’t possibly expect me to leave him for you.”

“Oh come on, you don’t feel any of the attraction between us? You can’t possibly say that doesn’t exist.”

“It doesn’t exist,” I said very clearly. “Whatever you’re feeling is completely one sided, and it’s inappropriate for you to continue to insist that it isn’t.” 

There was anger in his eyes and I was about to finish our conversation because I couldn’t take another moment of this. Before I could say anything else he took a step forward and crashed his lips onto mine. He had a hold of my shoulders as he kissed me, and I quickly shoved him backwards with all the force I could gather. “Come on, Maddi-” he began to say as I composed myself, but cut him off.

“Don’t ever do that again! I’m having a conversation with Selvig and I’m getting you off this team. You clearly can’t work with me professionally, and I don’t want you around me anymore after the way you’ve behaved here.” I pushed past him and made my way back to the private zone of the compound where I knew he wouldn’t be able to follow me. As soon as I was in our living room, I saw Steve sitting on the couch when I closed the door. I was breathing quickly and wiped at my lips roughly with my hands in disgust because I could still feel him on me.

Steve quickly stood up and made his way over to me. “Hey, what’s going on?” he asked with concern. I felt a few tears fall down my face and I rushed to wipe those as well, feeling stupid that I would cry over this. 

“He kissed me. He just grabbed me and he kissed me. I pushed him off and told him I was reporting this to Selvig, but he still kissed me after he knew how I felt.”

Steve looked at me and I saw my pain reflect in his eyes. “Can I hug you?” he asked me, making sure I was okay with it first. My heart swelled at his request for permission, it meant a lot to me that he took that into consideration before doing it. I nodded my head in short rapid movements. He then had his arms wrapped around my and I leaned into his chest as I put my own arms around his torso. I felt instantly safer feeling so close to him. We stood there for a few minutes and he just gently rubbed my back with his hands to calm me down. He didn’t say anything or make me say anything, and I just kept my eyes closed as I felt him silently comfort me.

Eventually I pulled back a bit so I could look at him. He kept his arms around me as I spoke. “Thank you,” I told him, and he gave me a half smile.

“You don’t need to thank me. Do you want me to go with you when you talk to Selvig? We can go now or on Monday.”

I nodded a little and answered “Yeah, I would feel better with you there. I think we should go now. I’ll have a better weekend knowing he’s gone.”

We spoke to Dr. Selvig in his office, Steve held my hand the entire time, and the contact made me feel much more at ease. Dr. Selvig was quick to file a report with me, everything in the Avengers Facility was funded and run by Tony and his own company. It was easy enough to get rid of Andrew, and I was promised that he wouldn’t be there next week. Dr. Selvig wanted me to keep working with him and his team, and I was okay with that knowing that Andrew would be gone. Steve told me he was proud of me once we made it back to our room, and I was beyond appreciative of having him there for me and for him being so understanding. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


December 2, 2015

“So, what is this big surprise you have?” I asked eagerly as I sat next to Steve on our couch. 

“Well, I know we haven’t actually celebrated any of our wedding anniversaries since I came back, I’ve only been back for three of them. The first one, we weren’t even back together yet, and the other two, we were technically married but I know we haven’t really acknowledged that past you going by Maddi Rogers instead of Bennett.” I nodded at his words. It was true, we had only ever celebrated our anniversary once, and that was back in 1945. 

“Do you wanna celebrate it this year?” I asked with a small smile. I was actually excited at the idea.

“Yes, I know it’s not until next month, but I have to give you this now and not then.” He handed me an envelope and I eyed him suspiciously. I took the envelope and opened it to find two tickets to an island in the Caribbean, scheduled for the first two weeks of January.

“Steve,” I looked at him in awe. 

“I got us a nice place to stay, Tony actually helped me pick everything out and book it because I have no idea how to do any of that. He said this resort will be very private and accommodating to the fact that people might want to invade our privacy. I just wanted to make sure everything will be perfect.”

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged tightly. He hugged me back as I said “This is amazing, Steve. Thank you so much for doing this for us, I can’t wait to go!” 

“I can’t wait either,” he responded as he continued to hold me.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


January 15, 2016

“We missed you here,” Nat said as Steve and I brought our bags into the compound. We got back from our two week vacation, and I hadn’t felt that happy in a long time. Steve and I spent long days on the beach together, we had our own private small house that was part of the resort but away from the main campus. We could have our privacy when we wanted and then go to other parts of the beach for different food and luxurious activities. It was two weeks full of relaxing and just getting to be with each other. Our room was beautiful, and the view was perfect. I could have stayed there with Steve forever. We both were so busy with our professional lives, that it was really nice to not have to worry about any of it.

“Aw we missed you too, but I’m not gonna lie, we could have stayed there much longer than we did,” I replied. Nat had been keeping up with ongoing training with the other Avengers at the facility, and luckily there was no need for any missions in the weeks we had planned to be gone. 

“Of course you would, I would also want to,” Wanda said as she walked in and gave us a smile. Her and I had become somewhat friends since she started staying and working with the Avengers. 

We ate dinner together with the other Avengers living in the compound. It was nice being with only Steve for a couple weeks, but it was also nice being back with the people I considered my family. I missed them on their missions when I missed Steve too. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


February 21, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

I waited for Maddi in our room, she had been out on a walk in the morning, she often enjoyed walking along the river. I was excited for her to get back because I had a surprise to show her. She came into our room and smiled at me when she saw me on the bed. 

“Hey, I thought you’d be with Sam when I got back,” she said.

“Oh yeah, we’re having lunch later, but I wanted to show you something first.”

She narrowed her eyes and responded “Okay, what kind of surprise do you have this time? There’s no anniversaries or birthdays coming up.”

“No, but this is kind of part two of my anniversary gift.”

“Now I’m really intrigued. Alright, let me see!” she replied. I told her to close her eyes and she did. I reached under the bed where I was hiding the gift. I held it so she could see when she opened her eyes. 

“Okay, you can open now,” I told her. She did and as soon as she saw what I was holding, she gasped and smiled even wider. 

“Steve,” she said in awe. “This is beautiful.” In my hands, I had a 16x20 framed drawing of the two of us on the beach. I had done it based off a photo we had someone take of us while we were on our trip. It had been a long time since I drew anything for Maddi, and I wanted to make this one special for her. It took me the month to do so because I had to make sure she wasn’t around when I was working on it, and its size was bigger than I usually drew.

“You like it?” I asked her softly and she nodded. I saw a few tears fall down her face as she took it all in.

“I love it, Steve. I didn’t realize how much I missed you drawing for me,” she chuckled as she spoke.

“We can hang it wherever you’d like,” I told her. She thought for a moment and then she found a space on the wall that she wanted to display it. She pointed it out to me, and I noticed a dark spot on her upper arm as she did so. “Is that a bruise on your arm?” I asked her, confused and curious. Maddi’s bruises healed so quickly that they usually weren’t ever even noticeable. I didn’t think I had seen her with any bruises at all since before I went into the ice. Her hand on her opposite arm quickly went to touch where I was looking. She saw it too and then shook her head.

“Oh no, that’s not bruise, it looks like it’s just some dirt. I did fall on my walk today, there was a bit of uneven ground from the storm on Friday. I need to clean up, that’s all.” She dismissed it and then asked if I could hang up the drawing before I left for lunch. I nodded in agreement, and she never stopped smiling the entire time I worked on putting it up. After it was hanging, she leaned into me and smiled up at it. “Thank you, Steve, your art you make for me have always been my favorite gifts of yours” she said softly. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter!! It took me forever to figure out how I wanted the whole Andrew subplot to play out. I wanted something a little dramatic to fill in the months between Age of Ultron and Civil War. Next Chapter will get into the events of CW by the end of it, so I hope you’re ready, I have a crazy ride in store for you guys. Any predictions? Any thoughts on this or the last chapter? I would love to hear them!! Comments/reviews give me motivation to keep writing, plus they make me a better writer when I see your suggestions/ideas!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said I'd update every Friday, but I'm just gonna change that rule to Friday +/- 2 days because I was finished writing this early and was too excited to wait to update! I know it's a little short, but you'll understand why once you read it...

February 22, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

I was woken up by the sound and feeling of Maddi waking up next to me with a start. As soon as I noticed her breathing heavily staring up at the ceiling, I was wide awake and making sure she was alright. “Maddi,” I whispered, trying not to startle her more. Her hand closest to me was resting on her stomach and I took it lightly in my own hand. “Hey, it’s me, Steve, I’m right here.” She let out a gasp that seemed to take her own of her own trance. 

She looked over at me and let out a soft “Steve.”

“I’m here, I’ve got you,” I reassured. She quickly got closer to my own body and I wrapped my arms around her. She buried her head into my chest and I stroked her hair. I felt the sweat on her skin as she shivered a bit. We stayed like that for some time as she slowly calmed down. I kept whispering anything I could to make her feel better. My heart hurt to see her in such distress. They became more rare with time, but we both had our fair share of nightmares that woke us up in a state of panic or fear. I worried that the nights I was gone on missions would bring her these nightmares and I wouldn’t be there to help her. If they had, she never brought them up to me.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” she finally voiced after her nerves had settled. 

“Shhhh, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” I told her. “Do you wanna talk about it or just lay here? The sun was creeping up through our window and I knew that neither of us were going back to sleep. “Or I could make you some breakfast?” I offered. 

“Breakfast sounds nice,” she replied as she looked up at me and I smiled. I nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Alright, you wanna stay here or come keep me company while I make you something?” 

“I’ll come with you,” she said. “I just need a moment.” 

“Okay, I’ll get the kitchen ready.” I wanted to be able to help her more, but I knew that if she wanted to talk about the nightmare, she would. I would just keep asking her what she wanted and doing what she asked in the meantime. 

As I was starting some eggs and bacon as the waffles were cooking, she made her way into the kitchen and sat at the table. She didn’t say anything while I cooked, but she gave me a smile and thanked me when I placed the two plates of breakfast foods in front of her. I grabbed my own plate and sat with her at the dining table.

“They were just Strucker memories,” she finally said in reference to her nightmare. I looked over at her and tried to silently encourage her to keep going. “Or what I imagined happened maybe, I’m not sure. I try so hard to remember what happened during those days I was there, I just can’t. Not knowing scares me more actually, they could have done anything to me. I haven’t thought about it in a while.”

I frowned at her concerns, wishing I could make it better for her. I cursed myself for not doing a better job of keeping her safe the previous summer, or of not finding her sooner. “You had lots of tests done when you came back. I know it’s not the same as knowing, but nothing unusually came up.”

“Right,” she agreed softly but it certainly didn’t sound like what I said had helped her feel any better about the situation. She played around a bit with the food on her plate. Soon she changed the subject and started talking about some of the work she was doing in the lab that week. I smiled and asked her questions about it and she happily answered, but I could tell the whole time she was still thinking about her dream. Then and throughout the day I wanted to ask her more, to try to help her through what she was feeling, but she kept steering the conversation away whenever it came back up. I didn’t push anymore after the third time I tried. To anyone else she would have seemed perfectly fine, but her smiles didn’t hide the pain and worry in her eyes from me.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


February 26, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Maddi shouted at me as I walked through our door at the compound. 

“Maddi,” I tried to say, but she cut me off.

“You have been gone for 3 days. I didn’t know where you were, nobody did.” The other Avengers who had gotten back on the same mission as I did quickly left the room as they saw our fight begin to unfold. 

“We didn’t have time, you were working in the lab and I didn’t have time to tell you before we left.”

“You promised! You have promised me that you would never go on a mission without telling me first! What if you had died? I didn’t even know you had left until you were already gone. I didn’t say goodbye. You promised you wouldn’t do this!”

“I know, and I promise it won’t ever happen again, Maddi.”

“And what good is this new promise when you couldn’t even keep the last one?” she shouted back. “You know how nice it was to get to see you for two weeks straight in January? I don’t get that with you, not before our trip and now either. Do you know how worried I was that you'd be called off from the Caribbean for some mission that would have been more important than our trip?”

“That didn’t happen though,” I tried to reason. 

“Sure, but I have to spend every other week of us living here pretending that I’m okay with you always leaving. I’m not okay with it, I haven’t been okay with it for a long time. Is this the rest of our lives? Because I don’t think I can do that.”

“So you want me to just quit then? Stop being Captain America, stop going on missions, stop doing the one thing I’ve been doing for years?” 

“That’s not what I meant,” she quickly tried to say but I was starting to feel anger myself.

“Yeah well that’s what it sounded like,” I snapped at her. 

“What do you want from me Steve? Do you want me to just be the loving wife that waits patiently for you to come home from a mission with dinner ready on the table every night? Maybe you could have gotten that in 1945 but that’s not what I’m about to be now.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “You know that’s not ever what I’ve wanted from you. Even back then I stood behind you every time you tried to do something the rest of the world told you that you couldn’t. Why can’t you support the things I want to do now?”

“Because the things you want to do will get you killed!” She yelled at me.

“We’ve been having this fight since New York four years ago!” I shouted back. “You don’t want me to expect you to be the wife you were planning on being after the war, so don’t expect me to be the husband I was planning to be after the war either. I can’t have a normal job like I could have back then, have a normal family just like you can’t either. This is what I do, Maddi, I have to go on these missions, I have to help the people that need help because I have the ability to help them. You are perfectly fine with staying out of it but I’m not. You knew exactly what kind of person I was when you decided to be with me, and that kind of person doesn’t just quit these missions.”

“I didn’t choose this! I didn’t choose this life of being Miss Americana, married to Captain America, with everyone I know and love being an Avenger! I chose a life with Steve Rogers 75 years ago.”

“You chose to see me again in 2011, you wanted to be in my life again knowing what that might entail. “

“I was in love with you!!” her voice cracked as she shouted her statement. A few tears rolled down her face and she wiped them quickly before continuing. “I never stopped loving you after all those years, no matter how much I tried to deny it, no matter how much I tried to move on. I didn’t have a choice, I loved you too much to stay away.... maybe I wish that wasn’t the case.” I froze at her words. I didn’t know what she was saying anymore.

“What do you mean, wha-what does that mean?” I asked her, my own voice matching her now quiet tone.

“I mean that maybe if I had known all those years before in 1930whatever, I would have chosen to stay away from you. God knows it would have saved me this whole lifetime of pain.” Her words were sharp and they stung harder than anything else she had said before. I didn’t know how to respond to them. I didn’t know what to say to my wife who said she wished she never fell in love with me. I couldn’t wrap my head around how she was saying this and it wasn’t even a week since she was crying tears of happiness from the drawing of our trip to the beach that I gave her. Was she always feeling this way, even when we were happily enjoying our anniversary on that beach? All those times we spent between my missions, between our fights about my missions, was she still feeling this way? She didn’t say anything else, and I couldn’t say anything. I just stood there, and eventually I was just standing there alone. 

I slept in one of the guest rooms that night, and as I passed our room, I swear I could hear her quietly crying on the other side of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry I did this to you and now I’m making you wait a week to find out what happens next… I hope you can forgive! Maddi and Steve aren’t doing so well right now, let me know any of your own thoughts on the situation, on the fact that I’m evil and making you wait for any type of resolution, on what you think might happen next! Are you mad at Maddi, are you mad at Steve, at both of them, at neither of them? I love to read your ideas and reactions!! Thank you for reading!!


	28. Chapter 28

_ Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves _

_ Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us _

_ Why'd I have to break what I love so much? _

_ It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say _

_ Hey It's all me in my head _

_ I'm the one who burned us down _

_ But it's not what I meant _

_ Sorry that I hurt you _

_ I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you _

_ I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you _

_ I need to say, hey _

_ It's all me, just don't go _

_ Meet me in the afterglow _

-”Afterglow” by Taylor Swift

* * *

  
  


March 16, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

Maddi had continued to avoid me over the weeks since our last mission, but that didn’t stop me from informing her exactly when I was leaving for our next one. It hurt when she didn’t really say goodbye to me in return, but I didn’t push it, I just wanted to make sure I never made the mistake of not telling her before I left again. When we got home from Lagos the next morning after Rumlow set off that bomb, I felt defeated and crushed. I wanted nothing more than to hold Maddi in my arms, but I knew she was still mad at me. That’s why I was thrown into a complete shock when I felt her lunge at me with a hug as soon as I walked through the door. She had her arms around my neck, and I still had my suit on from the mission. 

“Thank god you’re okay,” she said into my ear before pulling back. Her eyes were red as she took a step back and then turned to Wanda. Wanda was particularly distraught from the explosion she caused to hit the building. Maddi took both of Wanda’s hands in her own and said “Thank you, for protecting him. I know what happened was terrible, but thank you for doing what you could.” Wanda didn’t say anything in return, she seemed shocked and almost like she was going to cry herself. She withdrew from Maddi and went off to her own room. Maddi then hugged both Sam and Natasha and expressed her gratitude for them also getting out of Lagos safely. Soon everyone made their way to their own rooms and it was just Maddi and I left. “Can we talk?” she asked me softly.

“Yes, of course,” I replied quickly. I was hopeful that she wanted to actually talk to me, more than she had since the previous month. 

She made her way to sit down on the sofa and I followed with her. When I sat down she took a deep breath and then said “I want to apologize, Steve.”

I felt surprised by her words. Over the weeks I was thinking about our fight, I wanted to be able to find a way to apologize for always worrying her, for making her regret falling in love with me. I didn’t actually expect for her to apologize to me, but it also felt relieving to hear. I still felt pain at some of the cruel words she threw my way, and it was really nice to know she was sorry. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I didn’t mean it, I don’t wish that I didn’t fall in love with you, I have chosen to love you every day since the beginning. I was just so scared and angry that you left without saying goodbye. Then this time you did say goodbye and you did almost die in Lagos.” her voice broke when she said the last sentence. She looked down at her hands. “It was my fault, our fight. I hurt you by saying what I said and I’m so sorry. I don’t want to do that to you again, I don’t want to lose you because of this.”

“Hey,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “I forgive you. What you said, it did hurt. I won’t lie about that, but I forgive you because I know you didn’t mean it. I do know, I promise. And I love you. I know my job scares you, and it’s not fair for me to expect you to always be okay with it. I want us to be able to talk about it more, about your fears, and about what we can do to help alleviate them. Starting with me never ever making the mistake again of leaving without telling you first.” She smiled sadly at me and squeezed my hand. 

“I love you,” she responded, and I knew she was telling the truth. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


April 2, 2016 (Steve’s POV)

I walked into our room and Maddi seemed like she was in a trance as she stared at herself in the mirror. She didn’t notice I was there until I said “hey.” Her body jumped slightly at my voice and she quickly turned to me and let out a flustered smile.

“Oh hi, I didn’t see you come in,” she said as she walked towards our bed and sat down, still clearly deep in thought. 

“What’s going on?” I asked her, feeling a bit concerned about how she was acting. Despite our conversation in the previous month after Lagos, Maddi still seemed very hesitant for things to go back to the way they were before. She was quieter around me and some of the team, she always seemed to be lost in her own mind. I didn’t know if it was still because of our fight, or because of how close I had been to being blown up, or if it was something else entirely. We had conversations about our fight, and she always found new ways to apologize for how she acted, but I always tried to reassure her otherwise. 

She hesitated and fidgeted with her fingers in front of her. “I have something I need to tell you,” she said, barely above whisper. She seemed so nervous and a bit sad, I didn’t know what she was going on in her head, but I was definitely worried.

“What is it?” I questioned softly as I took one of her hands in mine and sat next to her on the bed. She visibly relaxed at the contact. While I loved being close to her in any way like holding her hand or putting my arms around her, I also always did so because I knew it made her feel more at ease; it made her feel safe.

Just as she was about to say what was on her mind, Vision phased through the wall and into the room. It made both of us jump at the sudden entrance. “Vision,” Maddi said in surprise. “Wanda told me you two were working on not doing that anymore.”

“Yes, but the door was open so I thought-” he gestured to the open door and then switched subjects realizing he probably should have still used it. “Captain Rogers wished to know when Mr. Stark was arriving.”

“Tony’s here?” Maddi questioned in shock. “He told you he was coming?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I was coming in here to tell you actually.” I turned to Vision and said “thank you, we’ll be right down.”

“I’ll use the door,” he stated. “Oh and apparently he’s brought a guest,” he added just before leaving.

“We know who it is?” I asked.

“The Secretary of State,” he replied before leaving. Maddi turned to me with confusion written across her face.

“Is this about Lagos?” She asked me. 

“I have a feeling it is, yeah,” I nodded. “What were you gonna say?” I added, wanting to make sure she knew I was still paying attention to what she felt was important to tell me.

She pursed her lips together in thought. “Um nothing, I’ll tell you after this meeting.”

I didn’t want her to wait, but I also didn’t want to push whatever she wanted to say either in case the conversation would end up needing more time. We couldn’t stay in our room forever when they were waiting for us in the conference room, and I didn’t want to rush her. I nodded and we made our way to see Sam, Natasha, Vision, Wanda, Rhodey, Tony, and Secretary Ross around the conference table. Maddi greeted Tony quietly and we both sat next to each other on the other end of the Secretary. 

Soon Ross started talking to us about the Avengers and the potential threat we had on the public and its safety. He showed us examples of the issues that came from our missions and fights over the years on a screen in front of us. I noticed the pain that Wanda was showing as we saw the events of Lagos play out in front of us and I had Ross stop the video. He then presented us with a large document. 

“The Sokovia Accords,” he stated. “Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel only when and if that panel deems it necessary.”

“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place,” I said. “I feel we’ve done that.”

“Tell me Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?” he asked. He went on to inform us that the plan was to have the accords ratified in Vienna in 3 days. I turned to look at Tony, and I had a feeling he was behind a lot of this. I already knew I didn’t like the idea of these accords, and it surprised me to think that Tony actually did. 

“And if we come to a decision you don’t like?” Natasha asked before Ross left. 

“Then you retire,” he replied. 

We took turns reading through the accords Ross left us, it was a long document, easily over 100 pages, so everyone didn’t read through every part. I didn’t feel comfortable even thinking about signing this thing until I read every part of it. Soon our team started arguing about the right decision here, everyone having differing opinions. Maddi pulled up a chair next to the one I was sitting on in our living room. “What are you thinking?” she asked me softly and I turned away from the document in front of me and looked into her eyes. She was trying to read my emotions. 

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. It was a lot to take in at once. They wanted control over us, over what we did. None of it sat right with me. 

Soon Vision was informing us that there may be a connection between our existence and the issues that the world has experienced over the years. 

“Tony,” Natasha said. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” I told her. I could tell the entire time, he wanted these accords. He started talking and telling us why he felt this was a good idea for the team. We’ve been in fights that have cost innocent lives, but I disagreed that government control could do anything to remedy that. 

“Tony, when someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” I stated. 

“Who said we’re giving up?” He asked.

“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions, this document just shifts the blame.”

“I’m sorry Steve, but that’s dangerously arrogant,” Rhodey interjected. “This is the United Nations, not the World Security Council, Not SHIELD or Hydra.”

“No but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”

“That’s good, that’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down.”

“Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose,” I expressed. “What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there’s somewhere we need to go and they won’t let us? We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.”

The team continued to talk about the implications of not being on board with the accords. Wanda worried that they would come for her if we didn’t agree to this. Natasha agreed that maybe it was best to work with the panel instead of against because then we could have some sort of control, and we could work on winning the public’s trust back. 

Maddi looked down at her phone for a minute but then put it away as Tony asked her what she thought. “Maddi, please tell me you’re on my side here.”

She looked distraught, and I instantly felt worried about her. She had something on her mind that was clearly upsetting her before this was thrown into our laps, and now she had to deal with this too. I wanted to tell Tony to lay off her for a minute but she spoke up before I could say anything. 

“Tony, I can’t sign this,” she said. Tony threw his head back in frustration and she continued to explain her reasoning. “I understand why you want to, I really do. But I’ve been trying for the past year to distance myself from this life. I’m not about to sign up to be the UN’s weapon. If my options are to sign it or retire… then you have to understand why I’d much rather retire.”

He nodded his head for a few seconds before saying “Okay, fine. Of all the objections in this room, that’s the only one I’ll be accepting right now. I’m just glad to know you aren’t trying to stay rogue like your boyfriend.”

“Hey,” I snapped at him, and Maddi put her hand on my knee.

“Tony I don’t disagree with Steve if he doesn’t want to sign it either. I can’t give you an opinion on any of this until I’ve had time to read it all,” she added. She paused before continuing. “Steve and I need to excuse ourselves for a bit here, I hope you all have fun continuing to hash this all out,” she then stood up and made her way to the door and I set down the accords and followed her.

Soon we were in the stairwell just the two of us and she turned to me. “You don’t wanna go back to our room to talk?”

“Peggy died,” she said before I could ask anymore questions. “In her sleep, this morning. She’s gone.” tears started falling down her face and felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Maddi and I had been visiting Peggy as often as we could in her old age. She meant a lot to the both of us, but I knew that over the decades of me being in the ice, Maddi had leaned heavily on Peggy for support. I wrapped her in my arms quickly, and my heart hurt for the both of them.

“I’m so sorry you had to wait to tell me.” I was even more annoyed with Ross’ interruption than before. 

“She had such a long and beautiful life, I’m just still a bit sad to know she’s gone.”

“Of course, I wish I had more time with her. She was such a good friend to me during my training, and our time fighting in the war.” she nodded her head as I agreed that the pain was more than acceptable. 

“The funeral is in three days, in London, Sharon told me. Same day as Vienna,” she explained. I had found out after the events of DC that our neighbor, Kate, turned SHIELD agent was actually Peggy’s great niece, Sharon Carter. Maddi had figured it out on her own once she found out she was an agent, she told me she had seen her picture once from Peggy but never made the connection until we knew who she was.

“We’ll be there, Vienna doesn’t need us,” I told her.

She nodded and then said “I know that Howard and his family took me in for most of those years, but Peggy helped me so much during that time. Her tough love was what I needed once in a while, and of course her kindness never faded. She was the most consistent long term friend I’ve ever had.”

* * *

**The Taylor Swift song I added for this chapter is up on the Spotify playlist, you can find it on[this link](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0kS84Ee6Dy1wmEaZPxJ0Vu?si=AT2pOvrxQDCrHic-0McK-A) or on my tumblr masterlist [creationcitystreet-em](https://creationcitystreet-em.tumblr.com/post/640446269091889152/steve-rogers-x-maddi-bennett-oc-masterlist). I think it fit well with how Maddi felt remorseful for the things she had said and wanted to fix things.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peggy’s gone :,( But she did live a long happy life, so Maddi is certainly sad that she lost her friend, but she is very glad that she got to live that life. Pretty much everyone else Maddi has lost hasn’t been as lucky as Peggy, so that definitely makes her feel better about it, but the pain is still there. I hope you liked this chapter! Maddi and Steve and doing alright again… maybe? Let me know what you think about that… I can’t wait to give you guys the next update! Sokovia Accords are here and we’ll get to see how CW plot continues to play out! 
> 
> Please please please review! I haven’t heard from any of you in so long and I really miss it. It’s hard to feel like you guys are still enjoying or reading at all when I haven’t gotten any feedback.


	29. Chapter 29

April 6, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

I stood in the holding center in Berlin in an office as the authorities that brought us there were in another room discussing their next move about Bucky. When we were at the funeral just the previous day in London, there was a bomb that went off at the ratification of the accords. All accusations pointed to Bucky, I knew I had to help him, despite the legal issues it could cause. He needed me, and if I could find him before they did, I could have helped him. But we were soon caught and taken to Berlin. Maddi was back home in New York through it all.

_ Sam, Maddi, Sharon and I were watching the news from the hotel in London about the bombing in Vienna. The suspect was Bucky, and I knew I couldn’t just go home. Maddi and I had already discussed that if there was no other way for us with these accords, that we would just have to retire together because I couldn’t sign them. I told Nat the same thing when she wanted me to go with her from the funeral. _

_ “I’m not gonna stop you from going, it’s Bucky,” she told me. He was just as important to her as he was to me. “But I can’t go with you.” _

_ “Are you sure?” I asked her, and she nodded. _

_ “I can’t go against the law here, I just can’t. Be careful okay? I just-” she hesitated for a moment. “They’re not gonna be happy about this. So please be careful, with Bucky and with the governments of 117 countries,” she let out a breath of a laugh, but there was no joy on her face.  _

“Hey you wanna see something cool?” Tony asked as he entered the office and pulled my attention away from the video that was displaying Bucky in his cell. I pulled something from Dad's archives. Felt timely.FDR signed the Lend-Lease bill with these in 1941. Provided support to the Allies when they needed it most.” He showed me a set of pens as we sat down at the table in the room.

“Some would say it brought our country closer to war,” I commented.

“See? If not for these, you wouldn't be here. I'm trying to, what do you call it? That's an olive branch. Is that what you call it?”

I picked up one of the pens and stared at it for a moment before looking at him again. “I just don’t understand why you of all people think this is a good idea,” I stated.

He sighed in thought before speaking. “A few years ago, I almost lost Pepper,” I was surprised at him bringing her up, Maddi had told me they split up recently. “So I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to mop up Hydra, and then Ultron. My fault. And then, and then, and then, I never stopped. Because the truth is I don't wanna stop. I don't wanna lose her. I thought maybe the Accords could split the difference. In her defense, I'm a handful. Yet, Dad was a pain in the ass, but he and Mom always made it work.”

“You know, I'm glad Howard got married. I only knew him when he was young and single,” I gave a small smile.

“Oh, really? You two knew each other? He never mentioned that. Maybe only a thousand times. God, I hated you,” he said in disdain.

“I don't mean to make things difficult,” I said.

“I know, because you're a very polite person. Meanwhile, you leave Maddi behind while you go and do a little law breaking,” Tony jabbed.

“Maddi gave her blessing for me to do what I did,” I argued.

“Was it her blessing or her reluctant acceptance?”

“Bucky is her friend too, she wanted to keep him alive, and she knew what I had to do to make that happen.”

“Okay well, she’s back at the compound now having a great time hearing news about your arrest.” I looked down, feeling shame and worry that I’m sure Tony was trying to get me to feel. I know that Maddi told me she was okay with me going after Bucky, but I can’t imagine how she’s feeling now.

“If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could,” I reasoned.

“No, you don't,” he claimed and I smiled sadly. He was right, and he knew it, I knew it, Maddi knew it.

“No, I don't. Sometimes-”

“Sometimes I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth,” he said, cutting me off. “But I don't wanna see you gone. We need you, Cap. So far, nothing's happened that can't be undone, if you sign. We can make the last 24 hours legit. Barnes gets transferred to an American psych ward instead of a Wakandan prison. You get to go home with Maddi and figure out what you two want to do next with your lives together.”

I thought about what he said. I wanted to make things better, but I hated the idea of signing something I didn’t believe in. I knew Maddi didn’t believe in it either. She had spent an entire night reading, rereading, and taking notes on the accords. She had plenty of good points that proved those documents were a nightmare and a violation of so many basic human rights. “I'm not saying it's impossible, but there would have to be safeguards,” I said.

“Sure. Once we put out the PR fire, those documents can be amended. I'd file a motion to have you and Wanda reinstated-” 

“Wanda? What about Wanda?” I interrupted him, concerned by his comment.

“She's fine. She's confined to the compound, currently. Vision's keeping her company.”

“God, Tony! Every time. Every time I think you see things the right way,” I shook my head in disgust. This was exactly what Maddi had shown be in warning about these accords. This type of imprisonment was what she and I were worried about.”

“What? It's a hundred acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. She can spend time with Maddi too. There's worse ways to protect people.”

“Protection? Is that how you see this? This is protection? It's internment, Tony. They do it to her, and then they start doing it to everyone else with innate powers.” I snapped at him.

“She's not a US citizen,” he tried to talk over me but I scoffed at his words.

“Oh, come on, Tony,” I turned away.

“And they don't grant visas to weapons of mass destruction,” he kept trying to reason but it wasn’t working. He was wrong. 

“She's a kid!” I shouted at him.

“Give me a break!” he shouted back and I stayed quiet as he continued. “I'm doing what has to be done, to stave off something worse.” 

“You keep telling yourself that,” I said. I put the pen back down on the table in front of him, finally deciding to not sign. “Hate to break up the set.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


April 7, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

I got out of the car as Clint stepped out of the van he showed up at the airport in. “Cap,” he greeted as we shook hands. 

“You know I wouldn’t have called if I had any other choice,” I told him.

“Hey man, you’re doing me a favor,” he responded. “Besides, I owe a debt.” he glanced back at Wanda who was now also out of the van.

“Thanks for having my back,” I told her.

“It was time to get off my ass,” she stated.

“Where’s Maddi?” I asked them both. I had asked Clint to pick up Wanda and Maddi, knowing we’d need all the help we could get. 

“She’s not here,” he said, apologetically. I looked at him confused because I thought she would have said yes when she found out why I needed her. I wouldn’t have asked her to come if I didn’t think it was really important, and she knew that.

“What?” I asked.

He shook his head and sighed. “I tried to get her to come with, but she said she couldn’t. She said she believes in you, and she wants this to go well, but she also said Tony asked for her help in getting you back into custody. She doesn’t want to have to fight Tony in this, so she stayed home.” 

I nodded, trying to push aside the slight pain from her not being there. I knew that she still had his back, and he had her blessing to do this, but I wished I could have had her with me by my side. “Okay, how about our other recruit?” I met the new guy, Scott Lang, and we soon found out the airport was being evacuated. Tony and his team were there and it was time to fight the fight that Maddi wanted to stay away from.

We made our way out to the helicopter that we would be using. As we got out there, Tony disengaged it with his own electronic device and then flew down with Rhodey to speak with us.

“Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he’s behind all of this.” I was interrupted by the prince of Wakanda jumping in wearing his own suit. 

“Anyway,” Tony brought the attention back to him. “Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in, that was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?”

“You’re after the wrong guy,” I told him.

“Your judgement is askew,” he claimed. “Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.”

“And there are 5 more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the doctor find him first, Tony. I can’t”

“Steve,” I heard from behind me, and I turned to see Natasha. “You know what’s about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one?”

“Aright, I’ve run out of patience,” Tony said. “Underoos!” he called out, and before I could register what happened, my shield flew out of my hand and my hands were trapped together in some tight string. The one responsible was a new very chatty kid in a suit designed by Tony.

“You’ve been busy,” I noted.

“And you’ve been a complete idiot,” Tony retorted. “Dragging in Clint, rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn’t even want to leave, a safe place. Trying to get Maddi to break the law too, that part didn’t seem to work very well for you though did it?”

“She may not be here right now, but she believes what I'm doing is the right thing,” I said with confidence.

“Really? You keep claiming that but I don’t know how you’ve come to such a conclusion.”

“Well she doesn’t seem to be fighting for your side of this right now either,” I observed.

He took in a frustrated deep breath before answering “I’m trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.”

“You did that when you signed,” I told him.

“Alright we’re done. You’re gonna turn Barnes over, you’re gonna come with us, now, because it’s us.” he commanded. “Come on,” he finished with a whisper. But then Sam spoke in my ear-comm where the quinjet was and I knew there was no more point in trying to reason our way through this. We had to fight through to the quinjet. 

* * *

  
  


April 8, 2016 (STEVE’S POV)

I stood early in the morning with Bucky and Tony by my side in Siberia. Tony had finally realized the truth about what happened in Vienna and in Berlin, but the Sokovian man was showing us a video tape of a road late at night on December 16, 1991. “What is this?” Tony shouted at the man. He said nothing back and we watched as a car crash turned into a murder done by the Winter Soldier. The two in the car were Tony’s parents. When the horrid video was over, Tony lunged at Bucky.

“No, Tony,” I held on to him to stop him. He turned and looked at me in pain and in anger. 

“Did you know?” he whispered.

“I didn’t know it was him,” I replied. 

“Don’t bullshit me Rogers, did you know?” he demanded and my heart clenched, feeling the guilt of knowing about the real reason for his parents death but never having the guts to tell him.

“Yes,” I said and he pushed me back in betrayal. 

He looked away for a few seconds before asking “Does Maddi know?”

“No, I never told her,” I breathed out. I knew I should have told them both, I shouldn’t have kept it a secret, but I was so worried for how they would react. Part of me thought it would have been kinder to let them think it was always an accident, but I knew it was selfish to have kept that knowledge from them. Tony shook his head in disbelief at me. 

“Maddi’s gonna hate you when she finds out,” he whispered with rage. “She’ll hate you both. My parents took care of her, she loved them! They were her family too!” he shouted as he continued to speak. I clenched my teeth and lowered my head, I didn’t want to believe him, but how could I not? I knew her heart would break at the news, it’s why I kept it from her all these years. I knew the fact that I hid this from her would also cause her to be rightfully angry with me, I shouldn’t have kept a secret so big. I worried her trust in me would be gone once she found out the truth. I hoped that she would forgive me. However, my thoughts had to be put on hold as Tony blasted me with his suit, fueled by his desire to get revenge on Bucky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we haven't seen Maddi's POV since chapter 26, which I have never gone this long without her POV before… Does anyone have any ideas why I might be doing such a thing? I'd love to hear your thoughts/predictions/suggestions! Thank you for reading, there was quite a bit of angst going on here, and there will be more to come… so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> And please leave some reviews, I've been working really hard to get these chapters out regularly now even though I have so much going on in my school life right now, I would just really appreciate getting some feedback.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first time I will be writing in a POV other than Maddi or Steve. I didn’t want to ever do that, but I also feel like I don’t want to write this chapter any other way… so I decided to just go for it! I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think about it!

April 6, 2016 _ (One day before the airport fight) _ (TONY’S POV) 

“Maddi, you’re the only one who can reason with him here. You gotta come to Berlin and get him to change his mind on this,” I spoke on the phone with Maddi, who was still back in New York at the Avengers compound.

“I can’t, Tony. I don’t believe that these Accords are right. I can’t defend them. I’m sorry, I know this is important to you, but you have to understand why I can’t sign them, why I believe what Steve is doing is the right thing.” she spoke through the phone and I scoffed at her answer.

“You gotta stop listening to Steve about this, please-”

“This is my own formed opinion, Tony,” she cut me off sharply. “I have read through the accords in its entirety four times now. Shall I read some of its highlights that Ross conveniently left out for you?”

“I don’t really think that-” I tried but she started reading them anyway.

“ _ ‘Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples. Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations. Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks. Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times. _ ’ And then further down we have  _ ‘Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial. If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.’ _ ” She paused after reading through but then spoke up again. “You understand what this means right? This is control over human beings that is driven by fear, and it has the potential to get wildly out of hand. This government panel can determine the threat level of a person and then imprison them without any further reasoning except that they are ‘deemed a threat.’”

“Maddi, these are things we can work through, we can make compromises to improve them.”

“There is no improving something that is based on this level of control and persecution. These accords should not be in place, and the very fact that a man like Secretary Ross wants them should already tell you enough based on his history in the government, the military, and with Bruce!” She spoke louder with each sentence and I sighed. I understood why she was worried, but we had to do something. We had to make right by the mistakes we made in the past, and this seemed like the only step forward. 

“Tony,” she said in a softer tone. “You can take off your suit; you can go home, and they’ll leave you alone. Not everyone on their list has that privilege. What do they want with our DNA? What type of weapons can they start building when they have the genetic code of Wanda, or Steve, or even me? If I come and fight for you, they’ll make me sign or they’ll lock me up. Steve understands that. Please, Tony, please understand that this is not the answer.” I wanted to. I wanted to have the conviction she had over this situation. I knew the points she brought up were right, she was right, but I couldn’t back away from this. I needed to do whatever I could from letting our team fall further apart. Going through with this was the only way to get Steve back home, to get anything back to somewhat normal. 

“It’s the only answer at this point, Maddi. And I think you know that, or you’d be fighting alongside Steve too.” I didn’t give her a chance to answer as I hung up the call. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


April 9, 2016  _ (One day after the Siberia fight) _ (TONY’S POV) 

“Tony, oh my god,” Maddi said as I got out of my car at the Avengers compound and she greeted me with a rushed hug. “You weren’t answering your calls, I don't know where Steve is right now either. I couldn’t help but assume the worst. What happened? Where’s Steve?”

I tensed at her questions and tried to find the right way to tell her. “We should go inside,” was all I said. She stared at me before nodding quickly and we walked to the living room. She sat down in front of me and I continued to struggle to form words. 

“Tony, what happened in Siberia?” she asked again.

“Zemo, the guy behind all of this, he didn’t want the super soldiers. He wanted us to find him.” I told Maddi that I was going to find Steve when I found out the truth. She was happy to know that things were turning around for us. She was wildly optimistic actually. She thought that I could get Steve back home, get Ross off his back and they could figure out how to move forward together. My hands began to shake a little, knowing I was about to crush those hopes of seeing Steve anytime soon. “He had information on Barnes, he wanted to show us.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at me and said “what, what do you mean? What information?”

I breathed in deeply before letting the truth out. “He killed my parents, Maddi.” I let out a gasp that contained the sob I had held within me. I wiped my face roughly as I felt a few tears escape. She stared at me stunned. “It wasn’t an accident, he ran them off the road. Hydra sent him and he murdered them both.”

She began to breathe more heavily at my words, her eyes darting around the room trying to find some sense of the thoughts running through her head.

“Steve knew,” I added with an edge in my voice, still angry at the man that was supposed to be my friend. Maddi’s head snapped back towards me with wide eyes.

“What?” she voiced in shock.

“Steve knew it wasn’t an accident, he knew it was Hydra, he probably knew it was Barnes. He kept it from me, and from you. Who knows for how long,” I scoffed to hide the pain.

“No, no that’s not right, how would he know? Why wouldn’t he tell us? Why wouldn’t he tell me?” She questioned.

“I don’t know, I don’t know how he knew but he said he knew. He was probably hiding it to save his own skin, or his buddy’s” 

“But it wasn’t Bucky, he wouldn’t have done that. He knew your father, it wasn’t his fault, it was Hydra’s.” Her words felt like a punch in the gut, echoing Steve’s argument back in Siberia. 

“Maddi, he did it,” I snapped. “It doesn’t matter who he was working for, he killed them. He’s not the same person you knew growing up, he’s killed people!” She took my hand in her quickly and gave it a comforting squeeze. She then placed her other hand on my face and looked into my eyes. I saw the pain I felt reflect in her own. She spent a moment to push that aside and take care of me as if I were once again the 5 year old kid she used to console after I fell off my bike. After a minute she sighed and looked down in thought. 

“Tony I know you’re in pain right now, so am I. Your parents were my family, they loved me and they’re the reason I have you in my life. But this is not Bucky’s fault. He is a victim of this all just the same. Hydra took his life from him and turned him into the Winter Soldier, he never would have done those things on his own free will.” I shook my head, not wanting to hear her. Barnes was a tangible enemy I could get revenge on, I didn’t know why Hydra wanted my parents dead. I didn’t know who gave the order, so Barnes was my only option to take my rage out on. Maddi couldn’t take that away from me too. “Where are they, Tony? What happened to Steve, to Bucky?”

“You’re really worried about them right now?” I shouted at her in disbelief as I leaned back away from her.

“Yes I am, you come back with more bruises and cuts than you left with, and you tell me this news, of course I know you fought your way through this. That’s all you three know how to do, you just tear each other apart! Where are they, Tony?” She gave me a look filled with her own anger and grief.

“I don’t know. They left, and I don’t know where they went, but they’re not coming back here. These are their consequences, for going against the Accords, they knew what they were doing,” I said bitterly as I stood up and walked away to the kitchen. She followed me as she spoke.

“You said you were going to get Steve home to me. You said you would work it out with Ross, this new information shouldn’t change the fact that Steve was right in defending Bucky about Vienna.” 

“Are you kidding me Maddi?” I laughed at how ridiculous it felt to be arguing about this. “You think I’m gonna defend them to Ross now? They wanna go on the run and live as criminals, then they can go ahead and do that because I don’t care. I don’t care if they never come back here, and you shouldn’t either!”

“Tony, I’m pregnant,” she said and I froze. I turned to look at her and she had tears falling down her face.

“What? H-how? How is that possible? Are you sure?” I stuttered out.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m about 14 weeks now.”

“14 weeks?” I exclaimed. “You don’t look pregnant, how are you 14 weeks?”

“The doctor thought I might start showing between 12 and 16 weeks, but she also didn’t know if the serum in me would change any of that. I can see it myself in the mirror, but I’ve been hiding it.”

I leaned back on the counter in shock. “How are you pregnant, you can’t get pregnant.”

“Yeah, I was shocked too. I didn’t believe the doctor when she told me. I went by myself because I was feeling off. Nothing about my pregnancy so far has felt like what a normal pregnancy should feel like. She thinks whatever Strucker did to me last year had some slow affect on my powers. I’ve had a few bruises that don’t go away until the next day, I’ve felt light cold symptoms. I didn’t realize it was even happening until I found out I was pregnant. I don’t know how extensive this change is either, maybe it’ll stop… or maybe one day I won’t have any powers left.” 

I stared at her as she explained, and then I realized something she hadn’t said yet. “Does Steve know?”

“No,” she whispered and ducked her head in shame. 

“How, how does he not know, why didn’t you ever tell him?” I asked.

“Because I was scared! I was scared everyday that I was going to lose the baby. I lost our first baby decades ago, and I didn’t have all the complications I have now. My powers are meant to destroy any living thing that invades my body, that includes a baby. I kept thinking that maybe there was some threshold to where my powers were at. Maybe it can now handle a baby that is just a fertilized egg, or maybe the limit is 1oz or 1lb and once my baby hits that limit my own body will just kill it off. I still don’t know if that could happen or not. Everyone knew way too early the first time, and then I had to tell everyone that I had a miscarriage and I could not go through that again. And I wouldn’t do that to Steve either. I kept putting it off and then we had our fight because I was so worked up in my own thoughts and fears about the pregnancy. But then even after we made up, I still had this fear that the baby wouldn’t make it to full term. I’m still scared. And I didn’t know how to bring it up to Steve after everything we fought over. My doctor advised that even if I don’t show when most mothers start to show, I should still tell him. She knew I needed his support. I was going to tell him the day Ross came, and then everything with the Accords and with Bucky just kept getting worse so I kept waiting. And now…” 

She started to hyperventilate as all her thoughts on the week came together in her explanation to me. 

“And now he’s not coming back,” she managed to say as she looked up at me and her eyes were wide and red. “He’s not coming back?” I cursed Steve in my mind all over again for the events of this past week leading up to this moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!! You didn’t see that coming? ;) 
> 
> So this was the reason for keeping Maddi’s POV away for the past few chapters, I didn’t want her inner thoughts to give it away to you guys. I wanted the big reveal to come when she finally told someone else about it. I gave some explanations for the little hints of something being up with Maddi. We’ll get more into the details of it all in the coming chapters as it will switch back to her POV. I’ve been planning this pregnancy since like before I even finished the 1940s plot, so I’m super excited and happy to finally be here! 
> 
> Let me know all your thoughts, I hope I caught many of you by surprise! It would also be super cool if any of you figure it out ahead of time!
> 
> I also want to warn that I have a really big paper to write for one of my classes this week so I don’t think I can promise the next update this week, but I will try as hard as I can to get it out to you. Maybe I will hopefully be done with ch 31 by this weekend, who knows. I love to hear your thoughts and ideas because it definitely motivates me when I get hit with a little writer’s block.


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